Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Dragon was super lazy and spent her Beta time playing Borderlands 2 and Sims 3. (Dragon's note, not mine! Agg)
AN
Sorry about the delay. Last week was pretty hectic and I've just managed to get things settled down giving me time to write. I've started a collection of one-shots from the CF Universe, they will be what-ifs, discarded story-lines and possibly the occasional viewpoint of a non-Konoha character. I'm also willing to accept short stories from other people to post in it. Hope you guys like it, but for now, on with that story.
"They say we wizards are subtle. But believe you me, we've got nothing, nothing at all, on women."
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front
Naruto quietly slid from the bed so as not to wake Temari and shambled over to the window. Resting his head against the windowsill, he ran through his mental checklist of things he needed to do. Watching the rays of the rising sun move across the grounds, he smiled. It was a peaceful start to a very busy day.
Turning away from the window, his gaze crossed over Temari and his grin widened. Asleep with her hair down and clinging to the pillow he'd replaced himself with, she was simply adorable. Not that he was going to tell her that - his survival instincts warned him that would be painful. Walking over, he sat on the edge of the bed and softly stroked her hair with a frown. He hoped the trip to Sunagakure wouldn't really piss her off but with his luck, there were fan related injuries in his future.
His good mood returned as he got dressed. Temari had gone out and ordered him a new outfit and he really liked it. She'd replaced his blue sandals with a black pair, and replaced the tiger-stripe pants with a burnt orange pair with wide black stripes running lengthwise on the outside of his legs. He had a white t-shirt with the Uzumaki swirl emblazoned on it, similar to one he'd worn when he was younger. Topping it off, he kept the black jacket with the three orange stripes.
Glancing in the mirror, he had to smile. The outfit was really cool and Temari had picked it out for him. There had been a small argument over how much orange he was allowed but she'd relented when he pointed out her obvious love of purple. He frowned as he thought it over - what was with blondes and purple anyway?
Shrugging it off for later consideration, he headed downstairs where he almost ran into Sakura in the kitchen. Seeing her staring out the window with a sad smile, he shuffled over to see what had drawn her interest. Seeing several of the younger kitsune playing near the edge of the garden, Naruto was confused. The foxes were cute, especially when playing so why would Sakura be sad?
Taking a quick glance at his former crush, he noticed she wasn't really seeing the foxes, she just happened to be staring into space in their direction.
Unwilling to get punched for disturbing her, he grabbed a small loaf of bread and headed outside while gnawing on it. He'd already done a lot to try and help Sakura but he wasn't exactly a shrink. She was going to have to take some steps on her own if she wanted to recover.
Stopping after he got outside, he chewed his bread thoughtfully as he scanned the area near him. He needed to take Reynard over to the Inuzuka's for the check-up, which meant the sneaky fox was probably waiting to ambush him. Creating a handful of clones to scout, he cautiously headed towards the front gate, eyes darting here and there. Reynard was a sly old fox. He could be anywhere.
Reaching the gate without incident, Naruto dispelled his clones and looked around in confusion. Surely Reynard should have struck by now. He smiled when Scarlet came bounding up to dance around his legs. Leaning down, he petted the energetic little vixen as he kept an eye on his surroundings. He was quite aware that Reynard liked using Scarlet as a distraction.
When nothing happened for a few minutes, he straightened up and began considering how to hunt Reynard down. Taking lessons from Inoichi was one thing, but copying Kakashi wasn't something Naruto was willing to tolerate. Scanning his surroundings again, he heard a small poof behind him and he cursed under his breath.
"Good Morning Naruto-sama." Reynard called from directly behind Naruto.
Muttering under his breath, Naruto slowly turned to see a highly amused Reynard standing in the small wisps of chakra smoke left from dispelling his Scarlet henge.
"Yeah, good morning smart-ass fox." Naruto growled to hide his embarrassment. He'd been out-ninja'd by a fox. Again! "I wasn't aware you could do that."
Reynard's body language switched from amused to something Naruto could only describe as smug.
"Yes, according to the knowledge Kyubi-sama gave me, kitsune are supposed to be highly talented at shape-shifting. It is similar to the henge you shinobi use but it is a real transformation and not just an illusion."
Naruto frowned as he walked out the gate considering Reynard's words.
"I didn't know that." He finally said. "My henge is solid. I thought that is how it was supposed to work."
Reynard eyed Naruto curiously.
"No, I've seen shinobi use a henge." He responded. "Their jutsu is simply illusion."
The fox walked silently for a few minutes.
"If you do shift, it is probably because of Kyubi-sama's abilities." He finally said quietly.
Naruto nodded in response.
"It makes sense. I never really gave it any thought. It just seemed natural but I really can't say I'm all that surprised. Gaara gets to play with sand, Han had those steam attacks, and I can actually turn into things. I so got robbed!"
The two walked quietly as they headed to the Inuzuka compound. Naruto was carefully watching the villagers as they passed by, somewhat concerned about how they would react to Reynard. Kitsune were not exactly very popular in Konoha, and despite everything, Naruto wasn't exactly trusted. He had support from the majority of the shinobi ranks, but the civilians only understood that he was both a clan head they needed to show respect to and the jinchuriki of the demon who almost destroyed Konohagakure. Naruto almost prefered the harsh stares from his youth. Those had at least been honest, unlike the bows he received now.
Seeing several small children run up and carefully pet Reynard, he amended his previous thoughts slightly. Some of the civilians were coming around but the older generation - he didn't think they ever would. Still, it was measurable progress that he could be proud of.
Reaching the Inuzuka compound, Naruto followed Reynard to the small animal clinic but wasn't expecting to see the person behind the front desk.
"Kiba? What are you doing here?" Naruto asked with some confusion. To the best of his knowledge, Kiba was brave, loyal, brash and not exactly prone to intellectual activities, so seeing him sitting there wearing a lab coat and doing paperwork was strange.
"Oh, hey Naruto." Kiba responded distractedly. "Whatcha doing here?"
"I tagged along for Reynard's final check-up. The better question is what are you doing here?" Naruto said with a bemused smile.
Kiba stood up with a cocky grin and pulled a framed certificate off the wall and handed it to Naruto.
"I'm the heir of the clan Naruto, of course I have to learn to care for animals."
Seeing the certificate stated Kiba was registered as an apprentice vet, Naruto cocked an eyebrow.
"Makes sense. You'd want to be able to help Akumaru in the field if he got hurt." Akumaru yipped at Naruto from his place at the table and wagged his tail hopefully. With a grin, Naruto moved over to scratch his ears while he chatted with Kiba. "Still, I never would have taken you as the type to study, Kiba. Your grades at the academy were almost as bad as mine."
Taking the certificate back and hanging it on the wall, Kiba growled.
"That's cause the academy was boring. Blah blah, history this, pay attention that. Who the hell needs to know that crap? This though, learning to treat injured animals actually means something!"
Naruto frowned at Kiba while he continued to pet Akumaru. He couldn't say that he hadn't almost that exact same thought himself but he'd also had it pounded out of his head. As a clan-head and especially if he became Hokage, the history and politics were necessary. Annoying, irritating and frustrating but still necessary.
"Kiba, I'm not gonna deny that you have a point but you do intend on becoming the next Inuzuka clan-head right?"
Kiba looked a bit startled at Naruto's serious tone.
"Yeah, my sister doesn't want it, so when my mom retires, it will be me."
Naruto sighed.
"I really hate to break this to you but if you are to be the clan-head, you will have to go back and study all that stuff and actually learn it."
"What? Why?" Kiba whined.
Deciding to take a different tract, Naruto shifted the subject.
"I've seen you at the council meetings with your mother." He said quietly. "Just between us, how much of the conversations in the council room did you fully understand?" Raising a hand to stop Kiba's response he continued. "Not just the stuff on the surface, the underlying layers as well."
Kiba's face scrunched up in confusion.
"Huh? Underlying layers? It was just boring politics right?"
Naruto shook his head.
"No, I use to think that way myself, but the council is full of ninja that have survived far past the usual age for a ninja. They talk in double and triple-speak and there is always something 'underneath the underneath.' A really good example would be the last meeting where there was concern about Temari-chan traveling to Suna. Can you tell me why you think there was an issue with it?"
Kiba frowned in thought.
"Well, they didn't want her to because she's pregnant right?"
Naruto nodded, then shook his head.
"That was the surface layer, and a rather pathetic cover, if you ask me. Temari-chan is barely showing. We'll have to move a bit slower but there is no health issue. The second layer was a concern from some council members that Temari-chan would stay in Suna with our children depriving Konoha of the Namikaze heirs."
"I didn't think of that." Kiba said quietly. "It doesn't seem like something that Temari would do though."
Naruto smiled at Kiba warmly.
"No, it's not. While it's true kunoichi are trained to act and seduce far more than shinobi are, Temari is far to blunt for such a thing." He paused and considered his statement. "Not to say that she couldn't do it but I think she's proved her commitment to Konoha. Additionally Suna can't afford to piss Konoha off with something like this, not if they don't want Iwa to smash them back into the desert."
Kiba groaned and rubbed his head.
"Ugh, this makes my head hurt. Why can't things be simpler?"
Naruto chuckled.
"Cause we're shinobi. So, you wanna hear about the other layers to the decision?" His grin widened when Kiba backed off with an expression of horror.
"No, no that's fine. I think I'll just chew on this little lesson for a while thanks." Kiba stopped to consider something. "I don't want to actually hear it, but how deep did that conversation go anyway?"
Naruto's grin dropped off his face to be replaced with a light scowl.
"I'm not sure myself." He admitted quietly. "I know there were at least another three layers to the conversation but I decided to find an alternative path to victory. I can't actually keep up with the older council members, so I played a card they weren't expecting and it worked."
"That seems like such a pain in the ass." Kiba whined. "Are you sure about this?"
Naruto nodded solemnly.
"Yeah, you can ask your mother about it if you want. She's actually probably the easiest of the other council members to talk to cause she's pretty blunt but she at least understands the way things work in there."
"Thanks man, I'm glad you pointed it out for me but I think I might also hate you for it too."
Naruto couldn't help but laugh.
"Yeah." He said, trying to catch his breath. "I understand that exactly. I wanted to murder Ero-Sennin when he first explained it to me." Getting up, Naruto was still snickering as he left the building and headed back out into the village headed for the Hokage tower.
"Excuse me Naruto-sama." Reynard said as he followed Naruto. "I thought we were checking up on Haru?"
Naruto stopped dead hearing Reynard.
"FUCK!"
After a brief detour back to the Inuzuka compound, Naruto continued on his way to the Hokage tower, after instructing Reynard to keep an eye on Haru. Popping in through the window, he was amused to find Tsunade waiting on him along with an ANBU squad.
"Morning, Baa-chan." He called out cheerfully.
Tsunade crossed her arms and glowered at Naruto.
"Gaki, you were suppose to be here 30 minutes ago. Why are you late?"
Naruto briefly considered pulling out one of Kakashi's excuses until he mentally slapped himself for the idea.
"Sorry, Baa-chan. I was help up over at the Inuzuka compound explaining the realities of being a clan-head to Kiba." Tsunade eyed him suspiciously and he restrained himself from giving her his 'foxy grin'. He'd come to the conclusion that no one actually found it innocent and in reality considered him guilty of something when he used it. Heh, I can use that to mess with people he thought, mentally rubbing his hands in glee.
Deciding Naruto was being truthful, Tsunade motioned him to sit.
"I've finalized a protective detail and briefed them. You sure that you want to do this?"
Naruto nodded and sat back in his chair.
"I don't like it, but it does make sense. I just wish I could talk it over with Temari-chan but I'm aware that I can't." He forced himself to give Tsunade a small bitter smile. "She isn't going to like this at all you know."
Tsunade shook her head.
"No, she won't but she is a kunoichi. For that matter, she was originally trained as a Suna kunoichi. It might take her awhile to cool off but she will understand."
Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Not gonna save me from being beaten with her fan, Baa-chan."
Tsunade smiled with a lot of teeth showing.
"Always a fun show. Moving on, I wanted you to meet the ANBU squad. Like I said, I briefed them but the only other person in the know will be Asuma." Tsunade gestured and the squad moved into the light causing Naruto to growl at Tsunade.
"Not a funny joke Baa-chan." Turning back to the squad, he could only shake his head. The leader of the ANBU looked up from his book and Naruto could almost see the eye-smile under the Dog mask. Gravity defying silver hair? Check. Tall, lanky build? Check. Most damning, little orange book of porn? Check.
"Kakashi-sensei, why the hell are you in ANBU gear?"
Kakashi removed his mask and gave Naruto a cheerful eye-smile.
"Maa,maa. No need for such language Naruto. Any former ANBU agent can be recalled for duty by the Hokage for any reason she deems necessary. In this case, Hokage-sama decided that I was the best suited for protecting you."
Motioning for his squad to join him, he introduced them to Naruto.
"This is Tenzo." He said pointing at a Cat mask. "He has certain useful skills that you don't have clearance for."
Ignoring Naruto's glower, he then waved at a purple-haired woman in another Cat mask.
"This is Neko, she is a kenjutsu specialist and has some medical training."
Naruto help up his hand to stop Kakashi for a moment.
"Skilled in kenjutsu huh? Neko-chan, when we return from Suna, would you be willing to spar with me? I've trained with Inu-san here but I'd really like an instructor that won't waste two to three hours of my time."
Behind her mask, Yugao half smiled, the closest she'd come to actually smiling since Hayate's death. It might be interesting to spat with Kushina-sensei's son, especially if he had learned her kenjutsu style. Realizing Naruto was watching her, she realized she'd allowed her mind to wander. Briefly replaying the conversation in her head, she made a decision. Removing her mask she reached out and ruffled Naruto's hair.
"My name is Yugao, and yes, I would like to spar with you. Your mother was the one that taught me the basics of my blade and while I myself do not use her style, I'm excited to face it again."
Naruto studied Yugao closely. For someone who stated they were excited to spar, she certainly didn't seem very happy. Seeing her eyes were slightly red and puffy, the look in them clicked. She'd lost someone in the invasion, perhaps it was not a good idea for her to travel to Suna.
"I'm sorry to bring this up, but," He said quietly. "Are you going to be alright for this mission?"
He didn't fail to notice her slight twitch at his words.
"I'm assuming you lost someone in the invasion." He said softly. "I'm sorry for your loss but if Baa-chan briefed you, you know this is going to be delicate."
Tsunade spoke up from her place behind the her desk.
"Naruto has a point Neko." She said, stressing Yugao's ANBU codename. "If you are emotionally compromised, there is no shame in turning down this mission."
Yugao blinked at Tsunade in confusion. ANBU did not turn down missions, they simply followed the Hokage's commands. Bowing low, she let her hair cover her eyes.
"Apologies Hokage-sama. I feel that I am capable of this mission but Naruto is correct, my lover died even before the invasion." Straightening, she turned to Naruto. "You met him you know." She said sadly. "Hayate was the original proctor for the third stage of the exams."
Naruto's mind raced as he tried to remember. So much had happened that he hadn't really noticed the proctors. Wait, the coughing guy?
"Yes." He said. "I remember him, he had that cough."
Yugao couldn't help it, she started to laugh bitterly.
"Everyone always remembers his cough but never him. He deserved more than to be cut down the way he was and only be remembered for his cough!"
Exchanging glances with Tsunade, Naruto stepped up to Yugao and placed a hand on her shoulder to pull her down to where he could speak in her ear.
"I understand that you are bitter. I understand that you most likely seek revenge. You state that you are not compromised and I will accept your word but this mission is very important to both Konoha and me. This is your last chance to back out, so what is your choice?"
Yugao jerked her head up and stared at Naruto carefully. That tone and the look in his eyes, it was like he was channeling his father. Compassionate and caring but underneath a complete and utter seriousness completely at odds with his reputation as a prankster. To the utter shock of everyone in the room including herself, she bowed to Naruto as deeply as she had to Tsunade.
"Yes, I understand Namikaze-sama. I will fulfill my part of this mission as required."
Naruto blinked and exchanged a quick confused glance with Tsunade. He'd been expecting some sort of reaction but not the one he'd just received.
"Good." He said forcing a smile. "Glad to have you with us then."
Turning around, he dropped the smile and frowned heavily as he met Tsunade's eyes. Seeing her flick them to Kakashi, Naruto blanked his face and turned back to his old jonin-sensei.
"Alright Kakashi-sensei. Who's the last member?" The double strength eye-smile he received in response cause shivers down his spine.
Motioning the last member forward, he smirked under his mask. This was going to be fun.
"May I present Hebi. She is a close range fighter with a sizable knowledge of poisons."
Naruto felt his stomach drop as the purple-haired woman in the Hebi mask stepped forward. He knew that hair-style, he'd had nightmares about the woman who wore it. Lifting his hand he pointed weakly.
"Y-you're the Crazy Snake Lady aren't you?"
Anko peeled off her mask with a cheerful grin. Well, it was cheerful for her, most everyone else considered it to be rather intimidating.
"Yep, and you're the brat I thought wouldn't survive the forest." Producing a kunai from nowhere, she stepped towards him with a bloodthirsty grin. "I wonder if you taste different now that you're a chunin?"
"Anko, that's enough," Tsunade called out rolling her eyes as Naruto hid behind her. "Naruto, she's not going to eat you, stop hiding!"
Poking his head out, Naruto whimpered.
"She likes to drink my blood, Baa-chan. She's scary." He froze for a moment, then stepped out from behind Tsunade and walked over to face Anko. "Anko-chan," He said calmly. "As much as I love our little game of you terrifying me even more than the Kyubi does, I have a request."
Anko leaned forward and blow him a kiss.
"Oh, so forward, I like it." She made a gesture as if she was going to flaunt her assets but stopped when she remembered she was wearing her ANBU gear and not her usual mesh. Standing up straight, she pulled out a dango stick and chewed on the wood. "Alright, what's the request Gaki?"
"Well, it's less a request and more a demand really." Naruto said, visibly restraining his temper. He turned a sugar sweet smile on her. "Anko-chan, if you would, please remove your snake from my pants."
Anko's grin widened considerably.
"That's not usually the guy's line there Gaki." She pointed out cheerfully. "Still, I suppose I could help you out for a price."
Naruto narrowed her eyes at her.
"I do not negotiate with dango terrorists!"
Anko shrugged.
"Suit yourself."
Naruto sighed in defeat.
"It's not one of the poisonous ones again is it?" He answer was another wide grin from Anko. "Damn it, alright one book and you get rid of this snake right now."
"Aww, come on, how about two." Anko pouted.
"No."
"Fine, give me the book and I'll dispel the snake."
Groaning, Naruto unsealed a book of explosive tags and handled them over. Anko made a quick gesture he didn't catch and he breathed a sigh of relief when he felt the snake in his pants disappear.
"One of these days Anko-chan, I will get revenge."
Anko just grinned at him and hummed a tune as she began playing with her new toys.
"Yeah, I'll believe it when it happens Gaki."
Naruto muttered under his breath as he turned back towards Tsunade only to see everyone in the room simply staring.
Tsunade was the first to speak up.
"So, I take it you know each other?"
Naruto rolled his eyes at the question.
"Well, yeah Baa-chan. She terrified me for the second round of the chunin exams and then was selected to proctor the matches where I finally became a chunin. After that, she hunted me down and I do mean hunted cause she's freaking insane, we got to know each other. The Demon Brat and the Snake Whore, of course we got along, though she usually just extorts explosive tags out of me." He turned his head and muttered "Bitch!" at Anko to which she simply stuck her tongue out at him. "Yeah, anyway I usually send a few clones to work with her on her days off from T&I. I don't have the flexibility for Hebi style but Sadist-sensei has 'motivated' me into much higher reflexes."
Tsunade smirked over her steepled fingers.
"Do I want to know?"
Naruto shuddered.
"Baa-chan, I didn't want to know."
Chuckling, Tsunade motioned everyone closer to the desk.
"Alright, this is somewhat odd but you all know the mission. Due to Gaara's request, Naruto will be in charge of the diplomatic aspects of the mission. If this goes well, it should greatly smooth relations between Suna and us but I don't have to remind you of how bad it would be if you fail."
"No, we got it Baa-chan. So, for the most part, you ANBU members will be doing standard protective detail but if things go south your priority is Temari-chan and the clan heirs. If I give the command 'Sandstorm' you will link up with Asuma-sensei and get Temari-chan and Team 8 out." Looking up he noticed all eyes on him in a serious manner. "Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm just planning for the worst case."
Turning back to Tsunade, he began planning and preparation with the occasional input from the ANBU members under his temporary command.
After a lengthy planning session, Naruto headed back to the house tailed by Kakashi. Before the scarecrow could run off, Naruto had snagged him and asked for his help with some training. He'd halfway expected to be blown off but Kakashi had just shrugged and told him to lead the way. Arriving at the gate to his compound, Naruto slowed to a walk and headed towards the training ground.
"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, aside from the planning, what do you think about this mission?"
Kakashi sort of half shrugged not bothering to look up from his book.
"High-risk, high-reward. You'll find that in our work, that's how it usually goes Naruto. Having second thoughts about this?"
Naruto shook his head.
"I never give up and I never go back on my word, you know that Kakashi-sensei. I think I'm prepared for anything but I'm still worried about Neko-chan. I've seen that look in her eyes a lot when we were Team 7 with Sasuke."
Kakashi put his book away and gave Naruto an eye-smile.
"That's true but Neko is far more disciplined than Sasuke. Speaking of, Namikaze-sama? You aiming for another wife Naruto?" Kakashi faked wiping a tear from his eye. "The little ones, they grow so fast."
"I have no idea what the hell happened there Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said with a glare at the masked man. "Honestly it creeped me out even more than Anko-chan being, well, Anko-chan."
Kakashi faked wiping another tear.
"Yes, they grow so fast. I can't wait to read about it in Jiraiya-sama's books."
Naruto threw up his hands in frustration and stalked towards the training grounds followed by a giggling Kakashi. There was no point actually talking to the man when he was in this sort of mood. Anything Naruto said would simply be deflected with something perverse and he wanted to get some training in before the urge to stick a kunai in Kakashi grew unbearable.
Reaching the training ground, Naruto unsealed a length of orange cloth causing Kakashi to give him an odd look.
"Hey, orange is awesome, don't look at me like that Kakashi-sensei." Folding the cloth down, Naruto explained his plan to Kakashi. "So, all of my instructors tell me that until my body matures, I won't be able to do much to increase my physical skills."
Kakashi interrupted with a comment.
"Well, yes but there are things that don't require physical power that you can train."
Naruto nodded.
"Yeah, I know. I figured out that Baa-chan was sending me out to get field experience Kakashi-sensei. What I want to do here is work on my chakra sensing and blind fighting." Flipping the cloth up, Naruto wrapped it around his eyes as a blindfold. "When I was fighting the Sound temes there were several times I almost got killed because I didn't sense them until they were already attacking." Creating some clones, he had them spread out. "What I need from you Sensei is to use your stealth and dispel the clones."
"I see." Kakashi said. "So, you plan to use the memories from the clone dispelling to search for differences in the surroundings compared to the remaining clones."
"Yeah, between me and the remaining clones, we should start being able to track you fairly quickly but please consider each clone a separate silent assassination target. Ruins the lesson if you just pop all the clones at once."
Kakashi chuckled and disappeared into the trees surrounding the training ground. Naruto sat down in the middle of the training ground and had his clones form an irregular ring around him. Alright, gotta calm down and focus.
Temari sat enjoying the breeze in the gazebo of her little oasis, letting the chatter of her friends - and Sakura - surround her as pleasant background noise. She had to admit that she was enjoying these weekly gatherings even if sometimes the other girls could really work her nerves. Today was the first time she'd allowed the group into her private desert garden, and with the exception of Ino who had helped create it, the kunoichi had been stunned at the thoughtfulness of Naruto's present. She realized the background chatter had stopped and she opened her eyes to see the other kunoichi all staring at her curiously.
"Sorry, I was just enjoying the breeze, did I miss something?"
Ino's eyes sparkled and she practically bounced in her chair.
"I asked what it was like to be married. So what's it like?"
Temari bought some time for her answer by taking a sip of her tea as she considered the others at the table. The girls all seemed very interested but Sakura also seemed somewhat sad. Temari opened her mouth to say something about that, maybe use it to shift the conversation but stopped when a loud yell came from the training grounds.
"Damn it, Kakashi-sensei! You promised you would never use that jutsu again!"" Whatever Kakashi had to say went unheard by the girls but it seemed to infuriate Naruto even more. "I don't care if it was just a clone! I remember everything that happens to them, so stop sticking your fingers up my ass!"
Temari smiled as the girls at the table all started laughing.
"What's it like to be married? Well, it's certainly interesting, that's for sure."
Seeing the annoyed looks the others shot her, she realized she wasn't going to be evading the question that way.
"Fine." She sighed. "I don't really have an answer, not completely. I always knew that as the Kazekage's daughter that I was not going to be able to choose my husband." She said looking off into the sky. Lowering her gaze, she began to fiddle with her nails as she continued in a quiet voice. "I never expected all this though. I never dreamed that someone could beat Gaara, let alone change him for the better and I certainly didn't expect to be married off to the guy that did it."
Ino frowned, she hadn't meant her question all that seriously. She'd just been trying to get Temari joined in the conversation. Looking around the table, she saw her feelings mirrored in the other kunoichi but refrained from saying anything as Temari continued.
"It's not as bad as that made it sound though." Temari said with a small grin. "I spent the trip here from Suna convinced I was going to be married to Uchiha and I was greatly relieved when I found out I wasn't. To be honest, I think Gaara probably would have killed anyone other than Naruto."
Tenten spoke up form where she was idly playing with some kunai.
"It's strange really. I know most of the girls here were all hung up on Sasuke - sorry Ino, Sakura. What I don't get is why all the foreign kunoichi I've met all seem to dread the idea of having married him."
Temari considered her answer and shrugged.
"When I first met him, I thought he was cute until I learned who he was. There were few tears shed in the other villages when the Uchiha clan was destroyed. The clan was feared, not just for the Sharingan but it is widely believed that the clan was highly susceptible to insanity. Despite the strength the Sharingan provides, none of the other villages want anything to do with something that spawns nuke-nin like Madara or Itachi Uchiha. I was very worried that given how desperate Suna was to regain an alliance with Konoha that the advisory committee would accept the risk of that madness."
The girls around the table were all quiet as they considered Temari's words until Sakura spoke quietly.
"I can believe it, but something doesn't make sense to me. My parents sort of directed me at him after I told them I had a crush on him, but thinking back that formed when I wanted to fit in cause all the other girls seemed to like him. If what Temari says is true, why were so many girls interested in him here?"
Ino shrugged.
"I just thought he was cute and cool. It didn't hurt that he was really talented either, but what Temari said explains why my dad was always subtly suggesting I find a different guy."
Hinata spoke up while tapping her fingers together nervously.
"I never really liked him but my father also suggested I keep my distance from Sasuke. It didn't really concern me cause I was always interested in a different boy." Her cheeks were a bit flushed at the end of her statement as the other girls all stared at her knowingly.
"Wasn't interested." Tenten said with a shrug. "Like Hinata, I already had a different boy in my sights and I never understood why everyone thought Uchiha was so cool."
"It's not like Neji-niisan was much better." Hinata muttered under her breath getting a laugh from the other girls around the table as Tenten blushed. "The Uchiha were always relatively isolated from the rest of the village because they were the military police and the prison was so near their compound. It's easy for us to overlook their faults because we kept our distance, but the other countries would have been interested in our weaknesses and definitely would have noticed if the Uchiha were prone to insanity."
Ino held up her hand for quiet.
"As fascinating as I find this, and I do find it fascinating, I believe Temari was telling us about married life."
Temari glowered at Ino and briefly tried to figure out how the other blonde had somehow become her best friend.
"I thought Naruto was an idiot when I met him." She said with a sigh. "I never would have picked him to be my husband but then I would have been wrong." She smirked as she saw that she'd gotten the complete attention of the other kunoichi.
"Naruto is brave, loyal and very sweet even if there are times I want to beat him into the ground." She stopped and stroked her stomach with a small smile. "I'm not sure I'm actually ready to be a mother but I know Naruto will be a great father. I've seen him playing with Konohamaru and his friends and he doesn't just play, he teaches and guides them. It's really interesting to watch."
Ino smirked and blushed a bit.
"So, how is he in the bedroom?"
Temari felt her face flush and she glared daggers at Ino.
"What? Inquiring minds want to know."
"It wasn't great for me." Sakura said quietly. "I thought it would be all romantic like the books but Sasuke wasn't interested in anything but trying to get me pregnant as fast as possible."
Temari sighed and propped her chin on her hand.
"I practically had to rape Naruto on our wedding night." She admitted to laughter from the other girls and even a weak chuckle from Sakura. "He was even more scared than I was. Kept saying he didn't want to do anything I didn't want to do. It was so noble and sweet I just wanted to strangle him and then after I finally convince him, he knocks me up the first night!"
Ino perked up.
"Ohh, first night, not first time, huh?" She said with a leer, though there would have been no reasonable way to tell which time was the one that did it. "So, how many times that first night?"
Temari blushed and looked away.
"There may have been a few times, it's hard to remember." She muttered. Looking back she saw knowing smirks on the other girls faces, even Hinata's which surprised her. "Oh, what the hell do you guys know? A married woman is entitled to certain acts!"
"Oh, we know." Tenten said with a sly smile. "We just want to know what to expect, that's all. Can't blame us for being curious."
"Yeah, tell me, I mean us, more about Naruto-kun." Hinata flushed red and sunk into her jacket when everyone turned and again gave her very knowing looks.
Temari stood and stretched.
"Alright, I'm going in to take a nap." She rubbed her stomach. "Pregnancy is tiring." Headed towards the house, she could feel the others eyes on her and safely hidden she smirked. If she had to be pregnant, the least she could do was use it as an excuse to avoid awkward situations like the one Ino had just trapped her in.
Back at the table, Ino eyed the other kunoichi.
"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that." She gave them a cherubic smile, her eyes glowing with mischief. "So, shall we discuss your little crush Hinata?"
Hinata gave a little 'eep' and fainted in her chair.
"I guess not."
Morning came and found Naruto and Team 8 ready to depart at the gate as soon as he could convince Tsunade to release her death-grip on him.
"Baa-chan, air. Need air."
Tsunade relaxed her hug and dropped him back to the ground. Leaning down to whisper, she noticed that he'd grown a bit taller, and she didn't have to lean as far.
"Be careful Naruto. If things go south, make sure you get yourself out. Don't give me that look. You know that you've already planned for the others to get away, make sure you do as well."
"Hai, Baa-chan. I promise that I'll be careful. Don't forget I want that kick-ass hat of yours."
Straightening, Tsunade ruffled Naruto hair and addressed the assembled team.
"Alright, be careful on your trip and remember that, as the requested party, Naruto is in charge of the diplomatic matters while you're in Sunagakure. For other matters, Asuma is in charge as normal. Now, get the hell out of here, I have work to do!"
Laughing, Naruto led the way and the other shinobi joined up in formation around him and Temari. Not far from the gate, they came across a small Iwa team headed slowly towards the gate. Unsealing a hiraishin kunai with a rather sinister grin, Naruto began nonchalantly twirling it where the Iwa-nin could see.
"That's not very nice." Temari gently chided him, getting a shrug in response.
"I'm not my father and I'm not their enemy unless they make me into one." He said so only Temari could hear him. "Still, I thought I should reinforce the image of what they would have to deal with if they did decide to become my enemy."
Temari shrugged and observed the reactions to Naruto's actions. Her eyes narrowed as her gaze crossed that of a slim kunoichi with odd pink eyes. Hmm, that must be Kurotsuchi and I don't think I like the way she's looking at my husband. What concerned Temari was that unlike the hatred the other Iwa-nin were displaying, Kurotsuchi was showing only a calculated interest. I really don't like that look.
"Hot, hot, hot," Naruto complained as they drew near Sunagakure several days later. "I don't get how you actually lived here."
Temari hid her smirk behind her hand.
"Well, most Sand-nin don't wear heavy black jackets in the middle of a desert, Naruto. They also don't usually travel in the middle of the day like we are."
"We wouldn't be traveling in the middle of the day if you hadn't had to stop and use the bathroom so much." Naruto muttered under his breath, a bit to loudly.
"I'm sorry, but my idiot husband got me pregnant, and his children are pressing on my bladder." Temari snarled reaching for her fan.
"Sorry, sorry." Naruto protested, glancing around for support but finding everyone just happened to be looking anywhere but at him. He idly wondered if ordering the ANBU to protect him from Temari was exceeding his authority. "I just didn't know that being pregnant caused a woman to have to go pee all the time."
Temari sighed and rubbed her temples wearily. She was hot, uncomfortable and irritable and it was mostly Naruto's fault but if she was feeling generous - and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to be - he might have a point. At least about him not being aware anyway. She had not held the group up with bathroom breaks, and she didn't care who agreed with him.
"Naruto, there are two energetic children dancing on top of my bladder. It causes a woman to have to relieve herself more often, understand?" Seeing his face light up she hastily corrected. "They aren't actually dancing Naruto, it's an expression."
"I know that." he said sulkily. "Be really cool if they were though." His smile returned as he imagined it.
Temari decided it was best for his health if she just ignored him for a while.
Drawing near the cliff guarding the entrance to Suna, the party was met by a contingent of Sand-nin lead by Gaara and Kankuro. Naruto's eyes lit up at the sight of his brother-in-laws and he wondered how Kankuro was going to irritate Temari this time. It was an amazing talent, actually. He could always, always find some way to incur her wrath, especially if he was trying to avoid it.
"Gaara, Kankuro, it's good to see you guys." Naruto said with a wide grin.
Gaara dipped his head fractionally - Gaara-speak for 'it's good to see you too.'
"Naruto."
"It's not Mak...wait, you're not insulting me?" Kankuro was confused. "Yeah, I suppose it's good to see ya, Naruto." Seeing Temari, Kankuro gave her a happy smile. "Nee-chan, its good to see you, you've gotten so big!"
Out of Temari's line of sight, Naruto made frantic 'stop,stop,' motions, which Kankuro missed focused as he was on the death filled aura now surrounding Temari.
"I'm sorry." She said sweetly, her fingers leaving light indents in the metal of her fan. "You were saying something?"
"Well, me and Gaara have something to discuss, so we'll see you all later. Gotta go, bye now." Naruto grabbed Gaara's arm and hurriedly whispered. "Get us out of here before she blows."
Gaara nodded and they disappeared in a sand shunshin leaving Kankuro at Temari's mercy - or lack of it at any rate.
"I-I didn't mean anything by it." Kankuro protested in a stammer. "I think you look wonderful, Nee-chan. Radiant even."
Temari's smile turned dangerous. "So you don't think I look wonderful all bloated up like a corpse left in the desert that the vultures haven't gotten to yet?"
Oh dear Kami, there isn't a right answer. Fuck you, Naruto, and you too Gaara for leaving me here.
"Yes?" he said hesitantly, knowing that there really wasn't a right answer and that he was simply doomed.
"Oh, that's good," Temari said pulling her hand from her fan and wrapping an arm around Kankuro's shoulder. "I was really worried that you might think I was getting fat or something. It's nice to have a little brother that understands these things."
Kankuro was frozen, one thought repeating in his mind. What the fuck, what the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK?
"Nee-chan, did you just troll me?"
Temari gave him a cheerful smile as she took over leading the group into Suna itself.
"Maybe."
Kankuro stood gaping as they moved away until he realized he was being left behind.
"Hey, wait up, I'm supposed to be your escort!"
Approaching the Kazekage's office, they were surprised to hear raised voices before Naruto slammed the door open and stalked out with a snarl.
"You're wrong Gaara," He yelled back into the room before he smashed the door closed hard enough to rattle the frame. Seeing everyone staring at him, he forced a smile. "Sorry, Gaara and I are having a bit of a disagreement and I don't think you want to disturb him right now."
Temari glanced at the door with concern.
"What were you fighting about?"
Naruto waved the question away.
"Just jinchuriki things, nothing important. So, where are we staying tonight?"
Temari shifted her glance between the door, Kankuro who was acting very calm for having seen someone yelling at Gaara and Naruto who was acting off. Something was going on, they were hiding something from her and she didn't like it.
"This way." she said curtly. "We're staying at the Kazekage manor where my brothers and I grew up."
Leading everyone towards her old home and ignoring Ino's chatter, she watched Naruto's fingers flicker through signs directed at an ANBU that was obviously Kakashi. Oh, there was definitely something wrong and looking around, she saw Shikamaru watching Naruto intently as well. So, he senses it too. Letting Kankuro take over leading everyone to the manor, Temari moved back to walk next to Shikamaru.
"Talk to me, Shikamaru. I know something is going on but I don't know what."
Shikamaru glanced over at her and formed his thinking pose with his hands.
"I'm not sure." He said reluctantly. "I know that the ANBU with us know whatever this is, and that Gaara and Naruto are involved. If I hadn't seen the clear signs of real anger when we met up with Naruto, I would think that he and Gaara were up to something together but he was truly angry." He glanced over again with a frown. "And by truly angry, I mean I thought he was only a moment or two away from drawing on the Kyubi's power even with Ino present. Whatever is going on, it's big and Hokage-sama is involved. Other than that, I got nothing."
Temari nodded her thanks and moved back to her place next to Naruto. She noticed his hidden conversation with Kakashi was done and decided to probe.
"Naruto, what's going on?"
Naruto mentally cursed. He hated leaving Temari in the dark but it was written into his mission requirements. Giving her what he tried to make a reassuring smile, he lied through his teeth.
"Nothing to worry about Temari-chan. Gaara and I just had a little disagreement back there."
Temari let the subject dropped but mentally sighed. She was either really good at reading him now or he just plain sucked at lying because most of that last statement just reeked of deceit. Sooner or later she would figure out what he was hiding.
After a tense evening and supper, the group was gathered around the table in the living room watching Naruto and Shikamaru playing shogi. Temari was watching because she was curious if Shikamaru's large brain had finally figured out a way to beat Naruto. Ino was watching because she had a passing interest in the game but was confused by how Naruto was playing. It lacked any sort of pattern or logic that she could see but it was obviously effective by the amount of time Naruto was holding Shikamaru off. Choji was there because it was just sort of what he did. Asuma was interested and considering challenging Naruto to a match himself. The ANBU squad was just bored and it beat staring at nothing while they stood guard near the edges of the room. Anko was lucky in that she'd won the right to be stationed up on the roof.
A sudden flare of Biju chakra from out in the village caused Naruto to jerk his head from the game. Standing up, he quickly strapped on his gear and accepted the tactical radio Asuma tossed him. Ignoring the confused looks and questions he was getting, Naruto waited staring at the front door.
After a short amount of time, there was a quick knock followed by the door opening. Otokaze, a member of Suna's Advisory Committee, entered and bowed low to Naruto.
"Namikaze-sama, you must help us. The Kazekage-elect has lost control of the demon but we have driven it to the edge of the village. We beseech you to honor our alliance and end this threat."
Naruto's fist clenched but he betrayed no other outward expression of what he was feeling.
"Understood." He said his voice flat. "Lead the way honorable councilor."
Temari exploded up from her seat.
"What?" She raged. "Naruto, what the hell are you doing? You're not seriously going to fight Gaara?"
Naruto turned to her with a dead expression.
"Temari-chan, this is an official request and I am required to honor it in the terms of the alliance between the villages."
Temari surged towards him.
"No?" She screamed. "I won't let you!"
Naruto turned away and darted for the door.
"Asuma, keep her here. Shikamaru, use your shadow." Reaching the door with Temari restrained by Shikamaru, he turned back to her with a pained smile. "Don't worry Temari-chan, it'll be alright. I promise."
Tearing away from the rage and betrayal on her face, Naruto left to follow Otokaze to where Gaara was waiting for him.
Inside the room, Temari was torn between trying to fight Shikamaru's control of her shadow and trying not to collapse. Her heart was torn. Despite everything, she loved her little brother, but she also deeply cared for Naruto. If the two of them finished what they started at the chunin exams, she would lose no matter which boy won.
Eying Temari cautiously, Asuma shifted closer to Kakashi.
"Inu, do you have the escape route set if Naruto loses control of the situation?" He made an effort to keep his voice barely audible but wasn't concerned Kakashi would have trouble hearing it.
Inu nodded and his fingers flickered quickly in ANBU code. Escape route clear Hebi reports. Use unlikely, have faith.
Asuma nodded and let another cigarette as he moved back towards his charges. He wasn't thrilled with the whole plan himself but he did have to hand Naruto credit for ensuring his team and Temari had an escape route handy if things went badly. He'd always wondered what his father had seen in the boy, regardless of heritage but it seemed Naruto was growing into his father's mantle more and more these days. Such interesting times he thought as he resumed waiting.
Following behind Otokaze, Naruto reached a training field located away from the edge of the village and found Gaara facing a half circle of Sand-nin and several other Advisory Committee members. The Sand-nin opened ranks to let him pass and he did a quick headcount. 47? These guys think they have Gaara cornered with 47? Damn but they're arrogant.
"So, I understand we need to finish this." He said to Gaara as he placed his hands into the seal for his Kage Bunshin.
Gaara inclined his head briefly.
"Uzumaki Naruto, yes, we should end this." Drawing the sand from his gourd and the surrounding ground, he formed it into a large ball hanging between him and Naruto. Not to be outdone, Naruto channeled enough chakra for it to create visible blue flames around him before he created a large army of clones.
Gaara eyed them dispassionately.
"I admit, I am still astounded at the amount of clones you can create. Now however is not the time, we should begin."
Motioning with both hands, the ball of sand split and darted at the Sand-nin watching from behind Naruto. At the same time, Naruto's clones turned and began surrounding and subduing the ones Gaara didn't have enough sand to quickly trap.
"What? What is the meaning of this treachery!" Otokaze demanded from where he was trapped within Gaara's sand.
Naruto glared at the man and walked over to sling an arm around Gaara's shoulders.
"I don't think you have much room to talk about treachery honorable councilor. Gaara is both the rightful Kazekage and my brother-in-law. I'm more than a little amazed you were stupid enough to believe I was going to fight him."
Shrugging Naruto's arm off uncomfortably, Gaara approached the enveloped Otokaze.
"I knew what you were planning, your hatred of me, but I was unsure of how to deal with it until I ran into Naruto when I was dealing with those invaders. It made sense that if I brought Naruto and Temari here to Sunagakure for my coronation, you and your allies would seize the opportunity to use him against me. You have failed, and your little rebellion dies here with you."
Naruto seized Gaara's wrist urgently.
"Gaara, wait. Most of these are loyal Sand-nin following what they believed were valid orders. If you want to prove that you have changed, you can't kill them."
Gaara turned his gaze to Naruto.
"What would you recommend, then?"
Naruto scratched his cheek in thought.
"Well, for the rank and file members, interrogation. If they were simply following what they believed were genuine orders, probation. If they were knowingly attacking you, prison."
"I see, your advice has merit. What would you propose I do with these?" He asked, gesturing at the captured Committee members.
Naruto frowned and looked away.
"Well, if they're like the council members back home, they probably have some way to wiggle out of this. I suspect you probably don't need them undermining your rule."
Gaara formed a sadistic grin as he turned back towards his captives and raised his hands.
"Listen." He commanded everyone present. "Most of you will be interrogated and either placed on probation or imprisoned. There are those among you that started this treachery, and as Kazekage-elect, I am now passing summary judgment. Sabaku Soso!"
Still turned away, Naruto tried to tune out the sounds of Otokaze and the other members being crushed by Gaara's sand. He was never going to be as comfortable with death as Gaara and sometimes he wished he could go back to thinking like his younger self. The one that thought being a ninja was all about cool jutsu and just being strong. It was certainly much simpler.
Turning back to Gaara after the sounds stopped, he watched the Suna ANBU stationed nearby begin to take custody of the prisoners. Sighing, he rubbed his eyes.
"Well, at least I didn't have to call in the evacuation command." Keying his mic, he spoke quickly. "Kitsune to Inu. Clear Skies, repeat Clear Skies." Turning the radio off without waiting for a response he spoke to Gaara. "Mission accomplished Kazekage-sama." Dropping from the formal tones, he sighed again. "Unfortunately, now comes the actual hard part of this."
Gaara's mouth quirked in his almost grin.
"What would you consider the hard part Naruto?"
Naruto frowned heavily.
"Explaining this to Temari-chan and surviving." A quick swirl of wind and sand alerted him to Gaara making his escape. "You are such a bastard sometimes."
"All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near."
Sun Tzu
AN
Alright, chapter finally done, only about a week later than normal but about double length. As I stated earlier, I've created a story for one-shots and short stories based in the CF AU and I would love for people to write something they would like to see there. Write something based on CF and pm me, we'll get the DocX connection set up and then we'll post it in CF Stories. I reserve the right to edit for grammar and spelling but I'm not going to mess with the content. If you're interested, PM me and we'll get everything all set up.
Naruto is in charge of the diplomatic mission which gives him some authority over Asuma and the ANBU team but ultimately they could overrule him if they felt it was necessary. The only reason Tsunade gave him that much control though was because as the one who defeated Gaara, only he could fulfill this particular mission.
I know, no second Dresden quote this chapter but I thought Sun Tzu made a better fit. o7