Chapter 20

Daryl staggered back towards the restaurant. As he entered the door his eyes were immediately drawn towards Beth. Her eyes glazed over as she stared blankly towards the ceiling. All the life that was once in her was now gone. Daryl struggled to fight back his own tears as he held Ethan close, shielding her from his view. "Don't look..." Daryl whispered to him. He didn't know how much Ethan understood but even if he didn't, he didn't want him to see her like that. Daryl walked up the stairs back to the room where the crib was and gently laid Ethan down. He brushed his head gently as Ethan quickly fell asleep.

Daryl looked over to the man on the floor he had killed. He couldn't help but get angry just thinking about it all again. Daryl opened up the window, dragged the man over towards it then chucked him out the window onto the ground below then closed the window back. "Fuckin' asshole..."

Daryl looked back at Ethan as he started to walk out of the room. "I'll be back soon buddy...you just sleep tight..."

Daryl walked back down stairs, grabbing a sheet from one of the beds before he went and drew the knife from his waistband before he reached the bottom. He wouldn't think about it...he'd just do what needed to be done. He stepped over next to Beth, squatted down and plunged the knife deep into her skull. He removed it just as swiftly and quickly covered her with the sheet. He sat down next to her and angrily threw the knife across the room. He drew his knees up into his chest, resting his elbows against the and bowed his head as he wept quietly.

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Gwen and Merle stood at the top of the hill just above the lake across from the prison. They could clearly see that was as close as they were going to get. Merle looked over at Gwen as she stared hopelessly at the prison.

"If you're about to say I told you so I swear I'm going to punch you in the face!" Gwen told him and there was no sense of sarcasm in her voice.

Merle gently ran his fingers through the her hair and grabbed hold of the back of her neck. "I'm confident he's not there...they got him out...he's safe...we just have to find him..."

Gwen looked at Merle with tears in her eyes. "But how?..."

"We'll figure it out as we go...but I think I know where Daryl's headin'..." Merle told her.

Gwen stared at him and he could see she was ready for any ounce of something to give her hope.

"Me and Daryl talked about a place to go...place that might be safe...he'll head there to find us...I know he will...we just got to make it there ourselves..." Merle told her.

"What if he doesn't have Ethan...what if one of the others took him?" Gwen asked.

Merle wished he had all the answers but he didn't. "Let's just take it one step at a time...keep your eyes open...we'll search as much as we can along the way."

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Carl woke up feeling completely disoriented. He had no idea how long he had been asleep and was confused at first to where he was. He gently shook Rick in an attempt to wake him up. "Dad...Dad?..."

Rick didn't respond.

"DAD! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" Carl shook his father frantically but he remained unresponsive. Panic started to set into Carl's mind and he pressed his ear against Rick's chest. He couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that he could still hear a heartbeat but the fact still remained he couldn't wake his father.

Carl rushed to the front door then stopped himself. He grabbed a chair from the dining room and wedged it against the front door. He couldn't risk anything getting in when he wasn't there. He ran into the kitchen, climbed onto the sink and raised the kitchen window just far enough for him to climb out. He jumped down to the ground and did his best to close the window back but leave just enough space for him to get his fingers back under to raise again when he needed.

He started running as fast as he could, not even sure where he was going or what he was hoping to find but he had to do something. He couldn't just sit around and wait for his dad to wake up. Carl noticed a small cluster of walkers ahead of him and quickly cut off to the side through the woods to avoid them. His legs quickly started to grow tired but he did his best to ignore it. He looked over his shoulder to make sure nothing was following behind him but soon after he did, he felt himself falling.

Carl rolled down the embankment, landing hard at the bottom. He grunted as he started to push himself to his feet. Looking up he noticed the small town a short distance in front him. He could find something there to help his dad. Maybe more supplies...something...he was willing to find anything at that point.

Carl cautiously entered the first store he came to, keeping an eye out for walkers and anyone else. It was hard not to focus just on what he could find. He had to make sure no one or nothing caught him by surprise. His father was all he had left and he wasn't going to lose him too. Carl found a bag behind the counter and started searching for items he could use. The place had already been ransacked but a few items still remained. Hurriedly he began shoving supplies in but was soon distracted by a noise. Carl looked over his shoulder and saw a walker staggering in. He rushed down the isle in attempt to distance himself from the walker. He didn't want to waste bullets unnecessarily. His feet almost slid out from underneath him as he came to a quick halt, another walker staggered towards him from the back stockroom. He drew his weapon but hesitated. Both walkers were heading straight for him. The gunshot would draw more but he had no choice. He raised his gun and pulled the trigger. The first walker dropped to the floor as Carl turned and shot the other. He had to get out of there before more came. He headed towards the exit door and noticed more walkers had made their way to the store front. There were too many out there for him to make a run for it and he couldn't afford to use up all his ammo. He rushed back to the back of the store, finding a rear exit and slowly pushed the door open just enough to look out. He didn't see anything so he pushed the door the rest of the way open and as soon as he did, a walker on the other side of the door lunged at him. Carl jerked away just out of it's reach and tried to raise his gun to fire but stumbled backwards over something, hitting the concrete so hard, it knocked the wind out of him. He gasped for air as he tried to get away from it but it reached for him again. Before he had a chance to even raise the gun again, to his surprise the walker's head seemed to just roll off it's neck and the body fell limp against his legs. Carl quickly kicked himself away from it and noticed a woman standing with a long sword in her hands.

"Those gunshots of yours attracted a whole mess of them...come on...I know someplace safe..." The woman held her hand out towards him but Carl hesitated. "Come kid...we ain't got all day..."

Carl grabbed her hand and she yanked him to his feet. She moved fast and he did his best to keep up, still struggling to catch his breath. She came to the fire escape of one of the buildings and started to climb up. Her sword rested in it's holder strung across her back. Carl stared up at her as she climbed then looked around uncertain of whether he should follow or not.

"I'm not waiting for you kid...you coming or going?" The woman called back down to him.

Carl holstered his gun and started to climb. They climbed almost to the top of the third floor but stopped short at the landing and the woman made her way over to the window and raised it. "Shut it behind you once you're through..." She instructed.

Carl nodded and followed her inside, doing as he was told. He turned around to look for her but wasn't prepared for who he saw next.

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Daryl found a shovel and attempted to dig a grave for Beth but the pain in his shoulder weakened his arm so much that he could barely grip the shovel with both hands. It was a waste of time. He'd try again the next morning. The sun was starting to set so he made his way back to the diner. Beth would have to stay there one more night. He wasn't leaving her outside to be ravaged by walkers. He had wrapped her snuggly in the sheet. It was the best he could do for her in that moment and practically one handed. He made his way back upstairs. He peaked in on Ethan who was still sound asleep. He rested his hand on his chest for a moment and felt the small, steady rise and fall from his breathing. Daryl closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn't lose Ethan...he couldn't lose anyone else. He was wracked with guilt over Beth but he made a pledge to himself in that moment that he would die before letting anything happen to Ethan. If he had to kill everyone he came in contact with to protect him he would. He wouldn't trust anyone...no matter what...he couldn't afford to.

Daryl entered the bathroom and struggled as he took off his shirt. He just stood there for a moment and stared at himself. Blood had dried on his shoulder but it couldn't completely hide the bruising that was forming around the wound. It seemed like the more time that went by the more it hurt. He stared at himself for a moment in the mirror. It had been awhile since he had bothered to look at his own reflection. He was filthy. Daryl searched the cabinet under the sink and found a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a small first aid kit. He removed the cap and gripped the bottle tightly. He looked back up at himself and took a deep breath. The alcohol stung as he poured it over his wound. He gritted his teeth and cursed under his breath as he did it and tried cleaning the wound as best he could with the gauze he had found in the small first aid kit.

"That's gonna have to be good enough..." Daryl remarked to himself. He pressed the last bit of gauze against the wound and looked for some tape. "Fuck..." Daryl uttered as he realized there was none. He began looking around, keeping steady pressure against the wound but soon gave up and exited the bathroom. He searched in every room but found nothing. Daryl sighed in frustration and made his way back downstairs. He tried his best not to let his eyes wander towards Beth's body as he passed by her and looked behind the counter. He found a roll of duct tape, pulled off a few strips and taped the gauze to his body. "Well at least Merle would be proud...Herhsel not so much..." He looked around for some food for him and Ethan but didn't find anything. Ethan must've had the same thought because Daryl heard him start to cry. It was faint at first but loud enough to get his attention.

He made his way back upstairs and stood over Ethan's crib. Ethan cried as he stared up at Daryl with both hands shoved in his mouth, gnawing on his own fingers. Daryl couldn't help but think how sad and pathetic he looked.

"Sorry little man...I'll find ya somethin' soon...I promise..." Daryl picked him up and kissed his head, holding him close. "Come on...let's see what else we can find we can use in this place..."

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