"So, does everyone think that they have Stupefy down?" said Harry.

The D.A. gave him a collective 'yes'.

"Good. Because now we're going to learn something awesome," said Harry.

The crowd went wild.

"How to talk to snakes!" said Harry, "Saaasshaahassss!"

Hermioned tapped his shoulder. "Harry, I'm afraid that that's more of a skill that you're born with."

"Ssssahahassss?"

"Er, yes, Harry," she said.

Harry hung his head, still flicking his tongue in and out.

"Perhaps we could work more on disarming?" Neville said hopefully.

"But even if you disarmed someone, they could still just kick you in the face," said Ron. Others voiced their agreement.

Neville sighed. "I guess you're right, yeah."

"Maybe what we should do then," said Ginny, "is practice kicking people in the face."

"Really? Really, Ginny?" said Harry.

There was a knock at the door. It echoed around in the spacy room.

"Come in," said Harry.

"No, wait, guess who it is," said a voice beyond the door.

"Is it Dumbledore?"

"No."

"Is it Kingsley?"

"Closer."

"Is it... is it Dudley?"

Malfoy opened the door and leaned in.

"That should have been my first guess," said Harry.

Malfoy leaned back out. "Professor Umbridge? I've found them."

"And this whole situationprobably should've been my second guess."

xxx

"Well. Well, well, well." said Fudge.

Umbridge giggled.

The portraits around Dumbledore's office looked down at the pair of them sternly. Dumbledore crossed his fingers.

"It would appear as though I was correct this whole time," said Fudge, beaming, "This whole time, you have been training an army of children to overthrow me."

Dumbledore sighed. "Yes. I have indeed been creating a private army of children."

Harry laughed. "What? No you haven't, Dumbledore."

"As you can tell," said Dumbledore, gesturing towards Harry, "He has been very thoroughly brain-washed."

Fudge nodded knowingly. "That would also explain some of his other behavior."

"It would indeed," added Umbridge.

"I haven't been brainwashed!" shouted Harry, "We made the D.A. on our own, we-"

"Harry, would you be kind enough as to tell me what 'D.A.' stands for?" Dumbledore inquired.

Come on... Deadly... Arrows, no. Daring Arms... Dairy Airs... Harry sighed. "Dumbledore's Army."

"I knew it!" Fudge exclaimed.

"Indeed you did. You are quite the sleuth," said Dumbledore.

"I am quite the sleuth, aren't I?"

"Dumbledore," said Umbridge, smiling, "As the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, I hereby place you under arrest."

"And what exactly would that entail?" asked Dumbledore.

"It would entail you staying in Azkaban for a currently undisclosed amount of time," said Umbridge.

"That does not sound like something I would be interested in," said Dumbledore.

Fudge laughed. "Doesn't it now?"

"It certainly doesn't," said Dumbledore.

Fawkes swooped out of his cage, and glided above Dumbledore. The Headmaster clapped his hands over his head, and disappeared in a flamboyant flash of flame.

"Well," Fudge huffed. He looked angrily about the room, breathing heavily. His eyes settled on Harry.

"Ten points from Gryffindor," said Fudge.