Ok, I rounded up all your suggestions so hopefully over the winter break I'll have inspiration to write up the wesen 'nevers' in a fun format. I've got some more words from the world of wesen, too (in the style of 'Meaning of Liff').
But until then, because it's been about a 100 years since I updated this, and because I had the embarrassment stockpile to share…. part three of 'damn that phone' (with thanks to my friends who have allowed me to borrow their own moments of indignity)…
I've tried not to make them all smutty but phones do the strangest things! (with tHanks to my friends, who have allowed me to borrow their moments of indignity to supplement
X x X
Cpt Vergeer: Hey, light dinner tonight at mine. Hank and Nickcoming too to discuss the PPD fun run. You coming along?
Cpt Renard: You know, I might for once.
Cpt Vergeer: It'll be about ten minutes of talking shop, then chill-out time, so please bring a guest if you'd like.
Cpt Renard: Bring a guest?
Cpt Vergeer: By all means. If you have a lady friend right now, please do inflate her.
Cpt Renard: Should I bring my electric pimp along to liven her up?
Cpt Vergeer: INVITE! INVITE her. Not inflate! Christ. Sorry.
Cpt Renard: Likewise…. pump, not pimp.
Cpt Vergeer: It's going to be one of those days, isn't it?
Cpt Renard. Indeed. Moving swiftly on…
Hank: Hey, where's our favourite hairy man? Need help with a good nose at the crime scene
Nick: According to his schedule, he's doing yoda at the YMCA. Not to be disturbed under any circumstances.
Hank: Doing yoda at the YMCA? That's a scene I would NOT like to see
Nick: LMAO! You know Monroe though… loved his greens, always he has ;)
Rosalee: Hey, Monroe's out with the Cello guys so why don't we have a meat night?
Nick: Ok. What you got in mind?
Rosalee: Juicy Olde English ass roll with broccoli and carrots
Nick: I'm sure what you have planned is more delicious than it sounds.
Rosalee: huh?
Rosalee: I meant arse roll.
Rosalee: ass roll dammit
Nick: lol! Why is your phone so determined to say that?
Rosalee: this is pudding m off!
Rosalee: pissing me off!
Nick: ommm
Rosalee: I will not calm down until this piece of crap accepts that I just want to make a casket roll
Rosalee: AGGGGGHHHH
Rosalee: CASSEROLE
Nick: hey, you got there! good job :))
Juliette: I'm done asking. I want your Xmas wish lusts and I want them NOW.
Nick: jeez, ok…. I want you! I want you! I want you! I want you in a tiny blini under a tree
Nick: bikini
Juliette: only for you would I wear a blini ;)
Hank: Where's Renard? I thought he was meeting us here ten minutes ago?
Wu: he's synchronising his lapdance in his office
Hank: Always thought the man had rhythm. :))
Nick: How's Rosie?
Monroe: she's feeling way better, thanks. maybe just a headache, now.
Nick: tell her to go to bed!
Monroe: Packed her off to bed already. She's sitting up eating home-pulled lingerie.
Nick: lololol! I hope you've got awesome sauce to go with it!
Monroe: Dude, my sauce is always awesome. Even if it's only for LINGUINI. My bad.
Hank: Ok my afternoon's just got heavy, no idea how long i'll be on site. Let's just touch balls at 6?
Nick: Let's not! Jeez...
Cpt Renard: Hank, do not come in if you're feeling sick.
Hank: Not sick, just a little tired.
Cpt Renard: Ok but if you decide you can make it in, I expect you to be firing on all cylinders and being fully reproductive.
Hank: I'll be happy to try :) :)
Cpt Renard: No smilies in work texts please, Hank.
Cpt Renard: And no smirking.
Nick: Where the hell are you? The lodge party's already kicked off and you have all the food in your TRUNK.
Denny: Sorry, got held up in genitalia
Nick: Should I know this? Because YOUR guy is standing right next to me… frowning. A lot.
Denny: Stuck in Danieli's Genitalia
Denny: aghh! Generosity
Denny: G-e-l-a-t-e-r-i-a
Nick: so what's that?
Denny: I scream shop
Nick: I scream lots of things if you don't rescue me from these hungry Eisbibers.
Denny: ICE CREAM. Sod it. Got an ice-cream headache already now just thinking about it…
Rosalee: Sorry hon, can't make it out. busy with cooking, polishing and studs
Juliette: Wow
Rosalee: I know, it never ends. do you find that?
Juliette: I've got just the one stud. maybe my life is easier?
Rosalee: *Stuff, not studs. Sorry. Lol!
WHEN GROUP TEXTS GO WRONG...
Nick: Guys, you got plans tonight? Could you come round at about eight? Juliette and I are just having a little celebration party because she was finally promiscuous at work and beat all the guys hands down :)
Hank: That's good... right?
Nick: Yeah! She's really been applying herself and it's great to get the old Juliette back :)
Hank: Ok man, I'm celebrating if you are...
Wu: Eh... are there many guys where she works?
Nick: about ten. They're really competitive but no match for her. There's no holding her back sometimes.
Wu: Good for her :) That's dedication ;)
Denny: Good to hear, mate. I like a girl who really goes for it :D
Nick: She's worked so hard that shafting the others was just her due.
Cpt Renard: can't make it, but pass on my best wishes. And tell her not to lose sight of her specialisms. It's very easy to spread yourself too thinly. And keep talking. Tell her that it's very easy to get lonely on the top.
Nick: lolol! AT the top! Ok, will pass that on. I am SO proud of her :)
Rosalee: Please tell me she was promoted?
Nick: Huh?
Nick: OMG! CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP
Nick: I copied this to Juliette as well... I am in SO much trouble!
Juliette: Party doesn't start till nine, guys. I need time first to beat Nick hands-down. Grrrrr!
X x X
My other longer-running stories will be updated in the new year. Work took off (a good thing since I'm self-employed, but a bit ruinous on my fanfic update rate, sorry!)
Anyway, have a good one, all! Hugs and Eisbiber kisses!