America sat alone in Polar Red's comfy little underground hideout where she hid all of her yaoi. Earlier, America got curious when he saw his name on one of the books. Picking it up, he saw quite a suggestive cover with the words, "USUK". He didn't understand why he sucked so he flipped the book open to a random page only to be greeted with an image of him and England having...ahem, "Fun times," if you know what I mean. Since then America dared not to touch any of those books. Especially the ones with "Spamano" on them, because, believe me, you don't wanna go there.
"Hi Alfred! So, hows it goin'? You have fun reading my books? Is everything alright?"
America looked up at her and responded with, "Alright? ALRIGHT? You've locked me here for 2 days with no food and water! I AM NOT ALRIGHT! I LOOK JUST AS PALE AS EDWARD CULLEN! I HAVEN'T HAD A SHOWER IN DAYS! And that's not even counting the days you've kept me in this PRISON!" Polar Red simply laughed. Then she paused. He does look a little pale...And he stinks... She turned around and shut the door. She came back minutes later with a green hose with a silver tip. America looked at her like she was crazy, "You wouldn't dare..." Next thing the aggroant nation knew, he was being hosed down by a crazy Taiwanese fangirl. "YOU ASSHOLE! SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?" She handed the soaking-wet personification of a huge landmass a towel and a bottle of lotion. He dried himself off and looked at the logo on the bottle. "For skin is as soft and sensitive as a babys' bottom...Are you serious." Red turned the hose on again, soaking the poorly dried country. "It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."
"What are you talk-" And again, the nation was hosed down by Polar Red. "It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again." America fearfully opened the bottle of lotion and literally poured it all over his head. Red smiled and turned around, walking out the door with the hose.