Here you go. Thanks for the reviews!

The day had flown by. Fin had gotten the cold shoulder from Olivia all day. Amanda almost felt bad for him… almost. He'd pulled Olivia aside to ask what was wrong. She'd ended up softening up with him, told him her and Amanda had spoken about Elliot earlier. Fin had given her a knowing look.

"How'd it go?" he had asked.

"It was okay," she'd replied but it had still put her in a mood that she couldn't seem to get out of.

"You tell her everything?" Fin had questioned.

"Almost," she'd told him.

"Tell her today, Liv." Fin had prompted. "Get it all out of your system while it's on the table."

She'd smiled at him and then told him not to tell Amanda anymore about her and Elliot, that if Amanda had questions, to tell the blonde to come to her for answers. Fin had agreed and they'd went on their way.

"She's a good friend for you, Liv." Fin had told her. "You need friends, you ain't got many…" Olivia had smiled at him again. If Fin only knew how close Olivia had really gotten to Amanda.

Now, it was finally night time and Olivia lay in her pajamas in bed, fully engulfed under her covers. She was thinking about what Fin had said, not because she needed to tell Amanda more stuff, but because she had literally been thinking about Elliot all day long.

It seemed like every time she turned a corner, she saw something that sent her into an old memory that had included him.

She remembered when he laughed at her because she had a flower in her tea, she remembered when he'd claimed she never carried a purse and she had whipped back saying it was because he carried it for her. Then there was that one time when she had the flu and had also been accused of murder and he had put up his house as collateral to bail her out.

She wanted them to stop. There were too many memories and too much pain. Today had been a hard day for her mentally, but she didn't blame Amanda.

Olivia felt the bed shift, she had been laying on the left side of the bed and on her left side. She felt Amanda moved behind her to get under the covers and press against Olivia. The blonde wrapped her arms around Olivia, giving her a light kiss behind her right ear.

"Amanda," Olivia called to her, not moving. "I have a brother."

Amanda became still. "You have a brother?" she repeated what Olivia had said.

"Yeah," the brunette told her, as she rolled over in Amanda's embrace to face her. "His name is Simon."

The younger woman stared at her for a moment before talking again.

"Where is Simon?" she asked her.

"I don't know really," Olivia replied. "We don't really keep in touch."

"Oh…" was all Amanda could say.

"It's fine, it's just… you should know this stuff about me…" Olivia looked into Amanda's eyes. "I want you to know this stuff about me."

Amanda shifted to hug her tighter, and pressed her forehead against Olivia's. They both closed their eyes and Amanda kissed the older woman on the tip of the nose.

Olivia smiled and almost giggled. She couldn't remember the last time someone had kissed her on the nose.

"I know so many personal things about you, Amanda. Your rape, the abortion, the gambling…" Olivia said lightly. "I know the things that broke you… you deserve to know the things that broke me…"

"We really dived into the relationship stuff, huh?" The blonde joked.

"Am I hitting you with too much?" Olivia questioned, "too much information?"

"No," Amanda told her, "never."

They shifted on the bed so that their pajama covered legs were intertwined while they faced each other. They shared one pillow that their heads were on. Olivia's right hand rested under her pillow while her left was resting on the bed in front of her.

Amanda pulled the covers down some so they could breathe better but were still snuggled up in them.

"I really opened Pandora's box this morning with Elliot, huh?" Amanda tried to joke again.

Olivia let out a small laugh. "Yeah, you opened something…"

The blonde took a deep breath, "I'm sorry…" She said to Olivia. "You were withdrawn all day, like your head was somewhere else… that's my fault."

"No, you have the right to ask about him, and about anything else," the older woman told her as she took her left hand and linked it with Amanda's right hand. "Anytime you want to talk about him or anyone, any of my exes, you just ask."

Amanda let out a snort. "I'm not ready for that yet." Olivia smiled.

The younger woman used her hand to massage Olivia's.

"Why don't you keep in touch with Simon?"

"His dad raped my mom…" Olivia said in a whisper. "For a while, I thought he was a rapist too… He's not a terrible person, he's just flaky and only comes around when he needs something."

"I'm sorry, Olivia." Amanda said as she looked at her girlfriend.

"I think it would have been different if we had grown up together. From what I hear, his father… our father… was a great dad, at least to him. Fishing, baseball, camping… the whole nine yards." Olivia said quietly.

"I know that hurts." Amanda told her.

"Yeah," she replied. "A rapist and a good father? That's hitting me right where it hurts…" It was true, Olivia could handle her father being a rapist. She had accepted that a long time ago, but when she found out what a great father he had been to Simon, it had nearly killed her.

Amanda pulled back a bit so she could get a better look at Olivia as they talked.

"You said y'all didn't grow up together?" she questioned.

"Yeah…I illegally ran my DNA through the system to see if I had any family I didn't know about… I wish I never had…" Olivia told her, huffing.

"I would have done it too." Amanda confided in her.

They laid in silence again, nether one really that sleepy despite their long day.

It hadn't been a hard case to close, the perp had confessed to the rape and murder as soon as they picked him up. The day had just consisted of a lot of work and a ton of paper work. They hadn't had lunch and the squad had had sandwiches delivered to the precinct in the late afternoon. Neither woman had been very hungry though.

"Elliot knew Simon was bad for me. I should have listened to him in the first place…" Olivia mumbled, her eyes dodging Amanda's face.

The blonde's grip on Olivia's hand tightened.

Olivia let go of Amanda's hand and untangled their legs, shifting so she could lay on her back and stare at the ceiling. The younger woman scooted closer to Olivia, snuggling into the brunette's right side, throwing her leg over Olivia's and patiently waited for Olivia's right arm to wrap around her.

Within seconds Olivia's arm was moving and Amanda smiled at how well she was beginning to know and understand her girlfriend.

The older woman weaved her fingers through Amanda's golden blonde hair, and began stroking her head, lightly playing with her hair. It was a small habit Olivia had picked up sometimes when Amanda and she were cuddled a certain way.

Amanda leaned up and placed a light kiss into Olivia's right cheek, then another and another, until she made it to the brunette's mouth. Olivia opened her mouth at once, accepting Amanda's tongue.

They kissed for a few seconds and then Olivia pulled back, kissing Amanda on the forehead and relaxing back into the pillow.

"Cragen had Elliot and I do an individual psychological evaluation one time… I had left to go undercover. Elliot and I were having problems…" Olivia felt Amanda hug her tighter, she took that as encouragement to continue. "Cragen wanted to see if it was deemed appropriate for use to continue working together…"

"It started with this case we had with this perp named Gitano…it was bad, he was a pedophile. We were in the subway station, Gitano came at me, cut my neck. Elliot had to make a choice. Go after Gitano and the two kids he had, or help me…" Olivia whispered to Amanda. "Elliot chose me but I was fine. The boy wasn't, Gitano slit his throat. Anyways, then we were trying to find the girl, the other kid Gitano had."

"Wow… that must have been tough." Amanda told her.

"In the end, Gitano had a gun to Elliot's head. If I had shot Gitano, his reflexes would have pulled the trigger and shot Elliot. Only Elliot didn't care, he told me to do it, told me it was okay and he forgave me…"

"Shit…" Amanda whispered to her, taking in what her girlfriend had just told her.

"I couldn't do it… I couldn't cause his death…" Olivia told Amanda with tears in her eyes. "It would have been the death of me too…" The older woman let out a breath and whipped the silent tears that had covered her face. She wondered how many times she was going to cry today.

"What was the result of the psychological evaluation?" Amanda wondered.

"They told Cragen that Elliot and I were two close, but if he split us up, that he'd lose his best two detectives…" Olivia replied. "Sometimes…" The older woman started again, "I feel like the entire squad, the entire unit knew there were feelings… and they all laughed at us… at me."

Amanda moved to straddle Olivia, while laying on top of her. The blonde put her arms around Olivia and buried her face in her neck, breathing her in. She gave Olivia a light kiss on the neck. The older woman wrapped her arms around Amanda's back and hugged her tightly.

"Well… I certainly have some feelings…" The smaller woman told her. "I care about you…" Amanda whispered into Olivia's ear before she planted another kiss on the woman's neck. "…a lot, you know."

Olivia smiled to herself, turning her head to the side to kiss whatever part of Amanda that her lips could reach. "I know," she told the blonde. "The feelings are mutual."

"I'm glad we're doing this…" Amanda told her.

"Talking about Elliot?" The older woman asked.

"No… Well, yes that too but I was talking about this…us."

"Oh," Olivia replied.

"Yeah, I'm glad we decided to do this… to do us… and to talk…" Amanda said.

Olivia hugged her tighter. "Me too."

Amanda leaned up and gave Olivia a peck on the lips.

Olivia smiled and stared at Amanda.

"What?" the younger woman questioned.

Olivia kept smiling for a few more beats. "I'm about to flip us, you ready?" but Olivia didn't give Amanda time to reply before she made her move, flipping them over to where Olivia was on top of Amanda, flipping the covers back in the process.

"Olivia!" Amanda squealed in laughter.

The older woman just smiled and kissed Amanda again, deepening the kiss.

"I have some plans for use tonight…" Olivia told her seductively, "and they don't include much more talking…"

Thoughts?