Chapter 20
The Team Plasma member and trainer exit the room, leaving me with the doctors, two nurses, and Red. I keep my eyes down. I don't think I can stand seeing Red dead, if he's dead. With a deep breath, and several short exhales, I raise my focus to the headboard of the hospital bed.
"Sweetheart," the female nurse who greeted me says," I'm sorry to break it to you, but your friend," she purses her lips," he's dying."
Tears instantly form in my eyes at those words. "I know," I manage to say through my effort of holding back my sadness. The nurse grabs my hand, and leads me into the hallway.
"Should I give you time alone with him?" She asks, holding my eyes with hers. I pull my mouth into a firm line, and nod. She mouths the word 'okay', even though it was probably meant to be whispered. We enter the room again, and she releases my hand.
The nurse shuffles quietly over to the other nurse and doctors, and tells them that I'd like time alone with Red. They nod, and give me a firm smile as they pass to leave the room. The door shuts with a soft click.
"Red?" I ask, finally getting close to him. I raise my eyes, and the sight just about kills me.
There he is, Red, in his all nightly glory, covered in bloody, yet cleaned, gashes and dark purple bruises. His eyes are swollen shut, and a bandage is wrapped firmly around his head. My eyes follow the numerous tubes connected to him, and I can't help but cry. The tears flow naturally. Look what you've done Touko. Look. What. You've. Done.
"Red?" I ask again, biting my lip to hold back tears.
He has to work to talk," Touko." More tears. The liquid flows down my cheeks, slides down my chin, wets my neck, and finds its spot on my shirt and on the bed sheets below.
"I'm sorry, Red. This is all my fault," I say, crouching near the middle of the bed. I rest my arms on an open area of sheets, and press my fists into my forehead.
"Nothing," he takes a shaky breath," is your," he stays silent for several moments," fault."
"Yes it is. I shouldn't have overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled. I should have accepted what you told me on the flight here, and maybe you would have stayed in Nimbasa with me."
"This," he erupts into a coughing fit, and the monitors next to the bed beep faster for a moment," would have," another shaky breath," happened anyways." I stare at the dying man, attempting furiously to hold in my sobs and hiccups.
"What?" I ask, closing my eyes. Red can't see me, so it doesn't matter if I look at him.
"Come closer," his voice is almost silent. I scoot close to where his head rests.
"Tell me how this happened," I say, lowering my voice to a whisper. Red breathes heavily for a few moments, and then turns his head in my direction, despite his inability to see.
"I couldn't," he tenses up, and then breathes," I didn't," another breath," I was ang-" he coughs violently," angry with myself." I stay silent, biting my lip to hold back tears. He'd know if I was crying next to him. "So I," he takes a deep breath, and holds it for a moment, before releasing it with the rest of his sentence," jumped."
"Because of me?" My voice is shaking horribly. Red tried to kill himself, because of me. It's all my fault.
"Will you," a smile forms on his lips. They're the only part of his face that isn't cut, broken, or purple," kiss me?"
I nod even though he can't see me, and begin to lean towards him. Just as our lips are about to touch, I close my eyes, and complete the kiss. Tears fall from my eyes, and land on his face.
"You're crying," he says after I pull away.
"I know," I say, wiping the drops away from my cheeks. He tried to kill himself, because of me. It's all your fault, Touko.
"It's," his breathing grows shallow," not your fault."
"Yes it is. Red, I shouldn't have been so naïve. I'm sorry I did this to you." I bow my head next to him, and finally allow my sobs to escape.
"It was my," he breathes," choice. You don't," his hand moves slightly off of the bed, but then falls back next to him," don't know what I," he takes several deep breaths," was thinking." At that statement, I silence. I stop my sobs. I stop my hiccups. I stop all of my crying and stupid drama. He's dying, and I'm beating myself up over something completely trivial.
"Touko," the simple sound of my name makes my cheeks flare up in anger. Not at Red, but at me. "Thank you."
"I- but-" I blink at the ceiling," you're welcome."
"Touko, I-" his words are soft yet choppy, and his breathing is rapid. My eyes focus on the wall behind him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. He takes a deep breath, and gathers enough strength to move his hand. I take it in mine, and purse my lips. "I love you."
He loves me. He loves me. This dying teen says he loves me. How could I reply to that? "I'm sorry, Red. Forgive me."
"You've done," he sighs heavily," nothing wrong." His hand tightens around mine.
"I was wrong and you were right, Red. This was nothing but two teens in fake, artificial-"
"Stop." His voice is firm, and his breathing isn't shaking," Touko, I know," a breath," what I said. But," he hesitates, not to breath though," I take it back." I nod and squeeze his hand. I don't care what Red says, nothing can make me change my mind. It's my fault he's dying. I should be in his place.
We sit in silence until he speaks again," I love you." A few shaky breaths later, the monitor begins beeping louder and quicker.
"I-" I swallow nervously. Say it Touko, he's dying," I love you too." A small smile forms on his lips, and the monitor's sound falls flat.
"I love you, Red," I say, clutching his hand in mine. 'I love you' I mouth the words which were supposed to be whispered. Tears fall openly over the bed sheets, and roll to the floor.
He's gone.
As I step back into the tourist trap that is Nimbasa City, a certain sadness has come across me. I'll never see him again. Never smell his cologne. Never feel his hair. Never hear his voice. Gone. With N by my side, he supports me through the throngs of people clawing at the king and his servants. Small words of comfort flow from his mouth, but many go unheard. My thoughts of Red seem to overpower anything and everything happening.
N bats several screaming fan girls away," leave me be, ladies." They collapse on each other, giggles and more screams erupting from them. How could they be so happy at a time like this? So carefree? Don't they know that the man I love, N's most loyal servant, has died?
The servants create a circle around us, and N releases me. He pulls out a pokéball and calls Zekrom out. Cheers, shouts, yells, screams and whatever else erupt at the sight of the Pokemon. N strides back to my side, and presses a hand into the small of my back, ushering me forward onto the Pokemon. His eyes hold mine as I board. The king silently follows, taking his place behind me. A few words of command leave his mouth, only loud enough for me and Zekrom to hear, and the Pokemon takes off. The madness quickly fades into the distance as we ascend.
"Touko," he says," I'm sorry."
"For what? You've done nothing," I reply quickly, keeping my face forward. If I'm going to cry, I don't want him to see it.
"You just seem upset," he sniffs," I thought you could use some words for consolation." I look back at N for a moment, and he's swiping at his cheeks.
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to-"
"I'm fine, N," I hiss, glaring back at the king. His eyes meet mine, but they do not back away. He knows.
"If you ever need someone to talk to," his green eyes sparkle with tears," feel free to come talk to me."
As Zekrom soars farther into the distance, I say my final goodbyes to the piece of me left in Red's hospital room. Goodbye.
I'll miss you.
A/N
Yes. Okay, I have quite a bit more to say than what can fit inside my little author's note here, so there will be a 21st chapter which is really more of just an announcement chapter. I'll be announcing if there's a sequel, I'll be announcing the date of when I plan to start rewriting this, among other things. So guys, thanks for reading, and I hope you have a fantabulous, amazing, totally awesome day. Love ya-
-Twilit Lady of Majesty