Author's Note: Ok, so this is actually an update. Nuckin' futz, right? I don't have many excuses to give for why this hasn't been updated in four years other than some close people to me passed away and I lost a lot of my passion. However, recently I started on a novel and it didn't take me long to realize I was out of practice. So I decided to go back and read some of my old fanfiction and I spent the better part of two hours reading this one and I realized that it's good. While it may have mistakes and moments that are a little embarrassing for me to read now, it's still good, and it deserves to be finished. I don't really expect much from this as most of the fans of this story probably don't even come on this site anymore, but I thought, hey, why not, maybe you'll be giving someone a treat?

Now, I'm not gonna lie, it's been a long time since I came in contact with Bleach or this story so bare with me if I muddle through some things and have forgotten others. I know this chapter is short, but I'm really trying to just get back in the swing of things, so you'll forgive me, right?

Resolve

He struggled to keep up with the long strides of the person walking ahead of him. His breath catching in his throat even when he reminded himself how important it was to breathe. His heart beat erratically in his chest, dread and excitement squeezing his insides until it made him want to vomit. He had no idea where they were heading or what they were walking into as they made turn after turn down the never ending corridors of Hueco Mundo.

How could they win? How could they possibly win when they were so heavily outnumbered?Surely this would get them all killed?

Unsure thoughts raced through his head unbidden, creating doubt after doubt, and the only thing that brought him any form of comfort was the feeling of Hyorinmaru humming lightly in his hands and the long, confident strides of Ichimaru Gin.

"Where are we going?" He whispered through the silence, needing to hear Ichimaru's voice to ground him.

Ichimaru did not so much as turn to look back at him and his question was only met with air but he did let out a small sigh when Ichimaru reached back without a word and took a tight hold on his hand, pulling him on. He struggled for a moment to adjust Hyorinmaru's full length into one hand and let out an exasperated growl at the awkward motion but he was thankful for the contact nonetheless.

They continued on in silence and Hitsugaya found himself swallowing around his doubt, willing the taste of it away. He did not fear the death that would most likely come for him tonight, the darkness comes for them all at some point, but what he did fear was what was going to happen to Ichimaru. He knew that out of everyone that was committing this act of treason tonight that Ichimaru would be held accountable above the rest, on a whole, new level of seriously fucked. Desperate concern raged through him stronger than he had ever felt for himself. It was an odd feeling and one that would not go away and Hitsugaya figured, probably never would.

Would he be forced to watch the full extent of Aizen's wrath if this all came crashing down around them? He hoped that the fight would kill him long before that.

Still, mixed in with all of his dread, fighting to claw it's way through, was pure, unadulterated excitement. It thrummed through his body as heady as power and as dark as lust. A part of him needed this, craved it. Finally, with his sword back in hand, he felt almost complete, and the shadow of who he used to be loomed over him, demanding that he fight, that he die fighting, and that he never let that sword back out of his hands again, for even if he died tonight, he would die as the person he always knew he was, Hitsugaya Toshiro, a captain of the Gotei 13.

A warrior, strong and proud.

And he planned to take every single last one of them down with him.

He refused to let that thought slip from the fierce grip he now held on it and for a brief moment there was no fear, no doubt, and Hitsugaya grinned in the wake of certain death.

"I like that."

He was jolted from his thoughts by that voice. He hadn't even realized they had stopped, he'd been so caught up. A single door now stood before them, the same as all the others they had seen, though Hitsugaya knew that this one was different. He looked up at Ichimaru, a little confused by his words.

"The look in yer eyes, Toshiro. Like yer ready. Like ya want it. I like that." There was no lie in the words and the look in the fox's eyes spoke volumes. "Yer thinkin' about death."

"Why the hell would that make me smile, idiot?" Hitsugaya growled in a soft voice, genuinely confused.

Ichimaru took a few step towards him, backing him into the wall. A tremor ran through his already nervous body as Ichimaru bent down to look him in the eye. "Not yers." He said softly, his voice a hiss. "Theirs. You're thinkin' about theirs, and I like that. If I could, I'd flatten ya against these walls an' fuck ya 'til ya couldn' stand." And for a moment Hitsugaya wondered if he might do just that, and it was both equally relieving and disappointing when the taller man straightened himself once more. "But sadly, very sadly, there's no more time fer that now."

Hitsugaya wondered if there ever would be again.

Ichimaru turned away from him then, walking toward the door that now stood in front of them. "Are ya ready, Shiro-chan?" He asked, a raw, serious edge drifting into his teasing tone. "After we walk through this door an' take this next step, we can't undo the things we've done. We won' be able t' go back."

Hitsugaya looked down at the zanpakuto in his hands, his eyes tracing over the already memorized smooth, sharp lines. He looked back up into the eyes of his captor, his own hardening in their resolution.

It wasn't a hard decision.

"I can't anyway. I won't go back to being a prisoner." His thoughts were final on the subject.

Not again. Not ever again.

"Good." Was the only answer he received, but before Ichimaru could reach for the handle of the door, Hitsugaya found his voice speaking up once more.

"Wait Ichimaru...Gin, wait." The ex-captain turned to face him, his expression unchanging as he waited for the younger to continue.

"We might not live through this. "

"Obviously."

"Shut up. Just shut up, this isn't easy, alright?" Ichimaru held his hands up in mock surrender and Hitsugaya growled but continued on. "We might not live through this night. We probably won't actually, and since that might happen and this might be the last time, will you...will you..." Even now he struggled with the words, embarrassment still as persistent as ever, but as always, Ichimaru was there, tauntingly coaxing him on. He closed in on the smaller boy once more, his long fingers coming up to grasp Hitsugaya's small hips, leaning down to press his cheek against Hitsugaya's own, his breath playing against the shell of his ear. "What, 'ittle one? What do ya wan' me ta do?"

Hitsugaya gulped, finding his voice, though it was barely above a whisper. "Will you kiss me? It may be the last chance we get...we may die and I'll never get it aga-" His words were cut off instantly when persistent lips crashed down upon his own. He wasted no time in responding to the kiss. Opening his mouth wide with a desperate groan that there was no point in feeling embarrassed over. He wrapped his arms around Ichimaru's neck as the man's tongue snaked into his mouth and he was crushed possessively against that tall, slim body that he now knew he could never get enough of and sadly probably never would. The things they weren't able to say and couldn't really understand flowed through their lips as they pressed them over and over again into each other in a moment that felt like private hours. Hitsugaya ignored the sting behind his closed eyes as Ichimaru claimed him with a fierceness that bordered on desperate.

Hitsugaya only wanted him in that moment. If he never had anything else, he would be fine, wrapped up in this man's arms free to be everything that Ichimaru already knew that he was, the good and the bad. And he could feel everything from that man in that stolen moment, everything that the fox had always worked to keep hidden. The rage, the fear, the guilt, the lust, the pain and something else so painfully sweet that he could not bare to name it, though it blazed through his own heart as well.

He never wanted it to end, never wanted those lips to leave his, but they did. He let out a near sob of disappointment when Ichimaru pulled abruptly away with a force that suggested that the man literally had to rip himself away or he would never be able to stop. His breathing was almost as ragged as Hitsugaya's own.

"It won' be the last time. I promise." And Hitsugaya believe him, because he needed to.

This time there was no interruption as Ichimaru turned and opened the door. The air that rushed to meet them was colder than the air in the halls and Hitsugaya shivered as he followed Ichimaru through the doorway. Hitsugaya was surprised to see that there were immediately stairs in front of him, leading him down into a darkness he was unsure of, but he followed anyway as Ichimaru carried on. He wasn't sure how far the stairs went down, but by the time they reached the bottom his legs felt tired and the chill around them had grown. It was pitch black around him, not a single source of light coming to his aid, but off in the distance ahead of him he could hear shuffling and a soft curse that came from a voice that almost sounded familiar.

And then light was flaring around him, the torches the lined the walls firing to life with a single movement from Ichimaru.

That's when he saw him.

Huddled in the corner of a small cell, squinting his eyes from the shock of light, was a boy. The bruises and cuts that lined his body were numerous and his face was swollen from abuse, but the shock of orange hair was unmistakable.

He took a step forward, further into the light, waiting for the younger boy's eyes to adjust, and when they did he saw the unmistakable look of recognition and hope that flooded into them.

He did his best to smile as he softly said,

"We're here to save you, Kurosaki Ichigo."