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Warning(s) Lots of conversation about sexual situations. The Avengers realize that maybe spying on Loki isn't always a good idea if they don't want to hear about his sexual fetishes.
Bucky transitioned well into being Loki's roommate. He liked the cats and Loki was always cooking up something good. It was a much better lifestyle than the streets he had been sleeping on. Of course, as Loki had warned both Amora and Wade often dropped in unannounced to gossip or eat the food Loki had prepared. It was nice to have a safe place to sleep at night and Loki was a good roommate. He was polite, respectful and always checked in on Bucky to make sure he was eating okay. It had been a long time since Bucky had felt this sort of security.
Meanwhile, the Avengers really should have figured that spying on a known villain without his knowledge would eventually end up with them coming across very awkward moments. Sure, they could avoid popping in on him while he was trying to whack off or something, but that didn't stop the conversations they sometimes heard from being scarring. They discovered this when they tuned in while the 'Anti-Avengers' were gathered at a Dairy Queen. They had turned it on in time to see Deadpool looking uncharacteristically agitated, even with the mask on they could see the tension. His arms were crossed and his back crouched as he stared at his melting ice cream.
"Don't say the F word around him." Amora stated casually. She was stirring her ice cream into a creamier state, not looking up at the group. "You know he loses it when people say it."
"What, fuck?" Harry asked. Loki quickly corrected his language. They were settled in the booth at the ice cream parlor, Harry sandwiched between Deadpool and Amora who kept stealing the toppings off his ice cream.
"No, Francis." Emma answered without missing a beat or looking up from her own milkshake.
"FRANCIS!" Deadpool's responding shriek carried across the room, his ice cream flying across the table and narrowly missing hitting poor Bucky who scowled at the man in displeasure.
"Emma, you ingrate." Amora spoke up from beside Harry, flicking a peanut at the woman. 'This is why we got kicked out of Olive Garden last month." Well, that was a video experience they had missed out on.
"Hey, so do you like rimming?" Deadpool turned to Harry who was deeply invested in his frosty. The boy's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he stared at the other man, trying desperately to understand what he had just asked. Amora tossed her food away in annoyance.
"Once again, we can't have a single meal in peace."
Deadpool looked to Loki. "Your thoughts?"
"On the meal or rimming?" Loki asked, blinking innocently.
"Loki, please don't encourage him." Amora implored Loki who was grinning wickedly over his sprinkled ice cream.
"Rimming." Deadpool confirmed. He had yet to eat his ice cream and it was rabidly melting in the bowl.
"Well," Loki began, settling down his spoon so nothing could distract him. "It really depends on who is doing the act. You would not want some slobbering idiot down there. They'd have to know how to use their tongue." Thor buried his face in his hands in dismay. Steve meanwhile looked horrified along with Clint. Tony was grinning ear to ear. Spying on Loki was the best idea ever.
"Do tell." Amora pressed, smiling as she looked from Harry to Bucky who looked mortified. Harry however seemed utterly fascinated by the turn of conversation. How did it always happen that conversations led to this? Could they not have one innocent meal in a Dairy Queen? Loki hummed, taking a glob of ice cream onto his spoon and eating it.
"Well, it's like when I'm in my female form and I'd have Fandral in my bed..." Loki began and thunder clapped outside the tower.
"Fandral has bedded my brother?" Thor cried from his palms, looking at the screen in horror while Tony shifted in his seat. He had forgotten that Fandral and Loki's little trysts were not that well known. On screen Loki was smiling coyly. It had been a long time since he had friends like these. It must have been nice to be able to talk freely without judgement or dislike.
"He's good with his tongue. But if he wasn't, you would know it. It just wouldn't touch the right parts. The same applies for rimming." Loki set his spoon down and Clint fake gagged from next to Natasha who quietly nodded in agreement much to the dismay of the archer.
"You'd know from experience?" Emma cooed and Loki offered her a little smile.
"Naturally."
"Turn it off. For the love of all that is good, turn it off!" Thor was on his feet in an instant. He had heard enough. This was a horrible idea. Why had they done this? Where was the fairness in hearing this?
"Don't turn it off!" Tony called out, earning a glare from the God.
"Where's the button!?" Steve and Tony fought each other for the remote, Tony jumping onto the man with a little laugh as he wrenched it from his grip.
"This is exactly what I was talking about!" Clint wailed. "I didn't need to know that Loki enjoys a tongue in his ass."
"Please God, why." Bruce bemoaned the turn of events. This had been meant for intel. Not for learning all of Loki's sexual preferences. It was made worse when Wade suddenly began talking about his own likes and dislikes. Finally Steve managed to yank the remote away from Tony and pointed it at the television, allowing it to turn black.
The next few weeks were spent away from spying. Steve and Clint were both scandalized enough that the idea of spying now sounded awful. Instead the team focused on missions and battling the very people they spied on. Once while fighting Loki who had once again gone on a trip to the capital, Tony had been tempted to offer him a little relaxation and alone time. If Thor wasn't breathing down his neck he would have.
After meeting with Fury after a battle against Amora, the team was very weary about many things. They knew too much it felt like. But not things that could be used in battle. They knew Amora liked Hot Pockets and had her nails done every Thursday. They knew Emma shipped Professor X and Magneto and had a vegetable garden that she adored. They knew Harry was very sick and seeking treatment from Loki and that he had issues that went beyond dramatic teenage angst. Bucky was filled with such pain and promise that he was more unsure than Steve had been when he first woke up in the new century. Deadpool still had hurt under all the jokes and bluster. He still felt resentment and sadness that he hid so well, but not when he was around Loki who clung to him as desperately as Deadpool did him. It was a friendship built on mutual loss and resentment.
And Loki.
They knew Loki had attacked New York with an army. They knew Loki was the jealous adopted brother of Thor. They knew he was the enemy and was far too dangerous to ignore. They also knew he loved cats. That he liked cooking because it reminded him of the potions he used to make at home with the healers. They knew he harassed the President at varying hours because it made college students laugh when they heard. They knew he missed his mother and that he liked being with his group because after so many lifetimes of being alone and friendless, he now had so many that he adored.
Did it make spying harder now that they all saw Loki when he wasn't the enemy? They saw the person behind the horned helmet. And now they had so many more questions than they had before. That night they sat in the penthouse, going over paperwork for a mission coming up. They ended up sidetracked and got to talking about the camera. It led to arguments on what they were doing, ethically and for their sanity.
"The fact that we even know this is irrelevant." Natasha finally spoke up, setting her papers aside. She was done listening to Clint bitch about the whole Dairy Queen fiasco. "Although I am still curious about something."
"What?" Bruce asked from the couch, peering over his glasses. Clint grumbled at his papers while Steve respectfully looked at the woman. Natasha set down her pen, clasping her hands on her lap.
"Months ago when Doom went after Loki, he said some things that he probably should not have known. Things that he wasn't around to hear." Natasha looked around at the team who shifted uncomfortably. Natasha brushed her hair from her face, looking troubled. Thor held her stare, not blinking."How did he know what Loki said to his father?" She finally asked.
That question left the team very troubled.
It was a warm evening when Amora decided to drop in on Loki for some nighty chatting and food. Bucky had already gone to sleep, sleepy eyed and his hair mused in a way that Amora found adorable. It was just her and Loki. The cays were rushing around the apartment, playing and outside it was lightly raining. It was while over tea that Amora noticed the roses sitting in the vase with the golden ribbon.
"A suitor of yours?" She asked, blowing at the steam from her mug. Loki shrugged, looking over at the bouquet curiously.
"I'm not sure. I believe it may be. Their note stated they enjoyed my butt." Loki's lips twitched at this.
"Who do you think sent it?" Amora pressed on.
"Well, at first I fancied that it was Stark who sent them." Loki admitted with another shrug. "The colors reminded me of him. But I know it was not. Perhaps Doom in another attempt to annoy me."
"So you have no clue."
"None. I can't imagine who would be so brazen as to send me flowers while talking about my butt. It's unrefined. Mother would have had a heart attack." Loki sniffed as if displeased, but Amora recognized that look in his eyes. He was enjoying the attention.
"Loki," Amora breathed, full lips curving into a small smile. "I believe you already know they answer to your question." She continued the watch the God who furrowed his brows at her. For a moment he was silent, contemplating her words before quickly shaking his head.
"You can't mean Stark."
"I do." Amora confirmed, sipping at her tea. Loki looked away.
"I would be a fool to think it. Perhaps it is all a jest. Anthony Stark had no interest in the company of men." Anthony Stark had been seen with beautiful women on his arm. He had been spotted at restaurants with lovely women that sometimes lasted a few weeks but often ended as quickly as they began. He was never seen with men unless they were part of the Avengers. Amora nodded towards the now dead roses still sitting at Loki's table.
"Those are his colors are they not. He writes that he enjoys your buttocks. You think he may have been the one to save Kitty Fury. Perhaps he wishes to court you." Amora's smile was sly and Loki was quick to shake his head, lips pursing. The woman sighed wearily, crossing her arms over her chest to stare at her old friend unimpressed. "He gives you roses, the flower of love in his own colors. That is as blatant a statement as you could imagine. You cannot possibly think it could be someone else." Amora shook her head in exasperation.
"But what if I'm wrong? What if it's not from him or what if it was meant merely as a jest? Hasn't it all been done before?" Haven't people used Loki to reach Thor. The golden prince above the tarnished silver?
"Then why save Kitty Fury?" Amora countered just as Angharad rounded the counter to jump on Kitty Fury's back. The pair watched the cats for a moment, distracted by the playing. Angharad was quick on his little feet, eyes blown wide and tail flicking as he stared at his brother. Kitty Fury batted at Angharad's face with a yowl before allowing the smaller cat to pounce at him and send him sprawling. "I think it would not harm you to ask. The Loki I know would not fear it." Loki looked up at this and met Amora's stare. The Enchantress smiled at him, full lips curved upwards and Loki knew without a doubt that he had just been challenged. And a Prince did not turn down a challenge.
It was late and Tony was tossing and turning in his bed. He kicked the blankets aside, face mushed against his pillows as he tried to will himself to sleep. It wasn't working and Tony swore in displeasure. Tony turned onto his side with a groan, one eye peeking open to glance at the window. It took him a moment to realize that there was someone there.
"Holy shit!" Tony yelped, falling backwards over the side of his bed. Loki regarded Tony with a cocked brow, legs swinging over the windowsill so he could stand and look down at the mortal.
"Anthony." Loki greeted. "I would like to speak with you."
Hey everyone! Next chapter will have Tony and Loki actually talking!
Is anyone who reads this going to Boston Comic Con this year? I'll be going Saturday and Sunday as Daenerys from Season Three! If you are I hope to see you there!
