As he lay in the terminal ward of Del Oro Bay Memorial Hospital, Berto Martinez reflected on his life. He had never had many friends. His family wasn't even on the same continent as him. But somehow, he never actually thought he would die alone. He didn't need twenty people surrounding him, constantly fluffing his pillow and asking him if he was all right for all the weeks leading up to this.
It would've been nice though, to have someone there at the last moment. For one single person to bear witness to his death; to the fact that he had once been alive. That he had had dreams and ambitions and passions. That he had once been a little boy on his mother's lap believing her as she told him that he would achieve great things one day.
That memory ached the most as he lay there, tears streaming silently down his face. His mother. He knew he had disappointed her. He hadn't achieved anything – hadn't done anything to make her proud, to earn her love, to justify leaving home. He was ashamed and didn't deserve to look her in the eye, but right now he just wanted to have her there with him. To feel his mother's hands on his face one last time. He knew he would never see her again. Due to his father's illegal activities years ago, his family had been denied passports. They could fight it, but it would take months and Roberto Martinez was out of time.
He had been fighting so hard to hold on – battling for ever second, even though the doctors had come in the week before and gently told him that there was no hope, and that they would make him "as comfortable as possible".
His eyes fell on the small vase in the corner of the room – the only decoration there. He tried to focus his thoughts in a positive way – his employers had cared about him – but he couldn't convince himself. They had spelled his name wrong.
With a shaky sigh, Berto Martinez said goodbye to the world he had hoped to change. He was a man of science. He didn't believe in an afterlife – whether it was fluffy clouds or an inferno. He knew there would only be black. Only nothingness. He didn't care. He was in so much pain. So tired. He knew it was time to let go.
So he did.