A/N: Okay, this is VERY unusual, but I am going to update tonight for a couple reasons. 1) I have a busy week coming up and should be putting time towards school work (LAME!), and 2) zenkindoflove needs a fix and I am gonna give it to her cuz I love her so! So here's the next episode. I'll update again NEXT Wednesday. Just pretend some Fox special is on or something.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING from 70s SHOW nor Aerosmith. OR The Who!!!!
9.20: Big Ten Inch Record
Janie was cleaning the apartment when Fez walked in.
"Hello my precious jewel!" he said, kissing her on the cheek. She kept vacuuming the carpet. "Why are you cleaning so compulsively?" She turned off the vacuum.
"Now don't get freaked," she said, and he stepped away from her a little.
"What do you mean by that?" he asked. "Why should I be getting freaked?"
"I said 'don't get freaked', not 'do get freaked'," she said.
"Janie, what is going on?" he asked. She smiled sweetly at him.
"Well, my brothers are going to stop by tonight," she said. "My older brothers."
"Oh, okay," Fez said.
"My overprotective older brothers," Janie emphasized. Fez swallowed. "And you're the first man I've lived with. They like to live in a fantasy world where I'm always going to be thirteen and never have even kissed a boy."
"What a silly fantasy," Fez said. "Well, that's okay. How many older brothers do you have?"
"…. Three."
"I see."
"I have three older brothers, and a younger brother and a younger sister," she said. "My family is kind of big."
"Obviously," Fez said. "Well that's okay! You make the place as clean as you want it to be. I'll just be in the kitchen, trying not to hyperventilate."
"Fez!" Janie exclaimed, hugging him. "Don't worry! Danny, Calvin, and Alex won't make things difficult for you!"
"You're lying," he said.
"…. Okay, I am," she stated. "But at least they won't do what they did to my last serious boyfriend."
"What did they do to him?"
"…. Let's just say he eventually found his way back to Point Place."
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Jackie walked slowly into the basement. Eric was on the couch.
"Is Donna here?" she asked. He turned around, and shook his head.
"No, she had to pick up a shift at the station," he said.
"Dammit," Jackie muttered, and sat in Hyde's chair. "Eric, we're going to talk. And you're not going to make fun of me or anything."
"I can't promise that."
"You have to."
"Huh, you seem pretty serious," Eric said. "Still…. I can't make any promises." She turned to leave, and he leapt up and grabbed her wrist.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," he said. "Come on, sit down. What do you need to talk about?" She looked at him warily, and then sat next to him.
"Okay, so I'm sure you know that Dusty and I broke up," she said.
"I did hear about that," Eric said. "Sorry."
"No, it's okay," she said. "Well, it's not totally okay, but… Anyway, here's the thing… Steven."
"What about him?"
"…. He's been really sweet lately," Jackie said. "I mean, we've been pretty close for awhile now, but lately… I think I'm falling for him again."
"Man, can't you two make up your minds?" he asked. "You stalked him, you ignored him, you dated him, you left him, you stalked him, you dated Fez, you hated him, you-"
"Enough!" she exclaimed, clamping a hand over his mouth. "I realize that Steven and I aren't exactly the prime example of long term relationships, but… It's different this time!"
"How is it different?" he asked.
"We started out different this time," she said. "When we dated the first time it was out of lust and loneliness. The second time we didn't work out our issues, and dove into it, same with the third. And now… We know each other as friends as well as lovers. I know all of him now."
"That was strangely deep," Eric said.
"Well, I AM a college girl," Jackie said. "And I know that Donna is worried I'm going to get hurt again, and I have my doubts too… What should I do?" Eric shrugged.
"I really don't know," he said. "Damn it, this is why you should talk to a girl about this! All I'm good for is making fun of people on The Price is Right!"
"So should I go tell him how I'm feeling?"
"Oh, I don't know."
"You really are no help."
"At least I didn't make fun of you."
"That's true," Jackie said. "… Wanna watch 'The Price is Right'? Make fun of people?"
"Yeah, okay," he said.
--------------------------
Janie had cleaned the apartment, and now she and Fez were waiting for the brothers to show up. Fez was very nervous. So nervous, in fact, he was shaking.
"Fez, chill," she said.
"I've never dated someone who had a protective older brother, much less three of them," Fez said.
"They'll love you," Janie said. "If they want me to be nice to them they'll love you."
"How nice do your older brothers want you to be to them?" Fez asked. Janie thought for a second.
"It's not important," she said. "Just be yourself!"
"Myself doesn't go over well with normal people," Fez said. Janie smiled.
"Awww, sweetie," she said, hugging him. "You went over well with me."
"…. I said 'normal'," Fez said. She was going to swat him, but there was a knocking on the door. She turned, and then rushed to the door. She opened it, and then began jumping up and down. Three men rushed into the apartment, one sweeping her up over his shoulder.
"JANE!" they all said, and she laughed.
"Calvin, put me down!" she exclaimed. The oldest brother set her down, and she smiled from ear to ear.
"Jane, this is your place?" the blonde asked.
"Yes, Danny, this is my place," she said. "And guys. Calvin, Alex, Danny: this is my boyfriend, Fez."
"Hey man, how's it going?" Alex asked, shaking Fez's hand vigorously. "So you're the guy my sister has been telling our mom about."
"The one who has our Mom in a tizzy," Calvin said.
"Cal, knock it off," Janie said.
"Think of the three of us as the practice meeting, cuz when you meet Mom and Dad, THAT is going to be terrifying," Danny said.
"Oh my GOD, you guys, you're gonna freak him out!" Janie said.
"Ah, he'll be fine," Alex said. "I'm sure he's been interrogated by family members before, right?"
"Oh, yes," Fez said.
"So obviously you know how to handle it, am I right?" Alex asked. "I mean, you can't blame us, she's our little sister, yeah?"
"Hell, she'll always be the little girl in pig tails who used to sing along to the Beatles," Danny stated.
"Okay, that's enough embarrassing stories for one day," Janie said.
"So Fez, what do you do for a job?" Calvin asked.
"I work at the salon, as a shampoo boy," Fez said. The brothers sort of gave each other looks, and Alex smirked.
"So you wash hair?" he asked.
"…. I guess so."
"Alex, shut up," Janie said, and Alex put her in a headlock. "Hey!" He gave her a noogie, and she tried pulling her head from his grasp.
"Alex, don't be such a jackass," Calvin said, asserting his oldest sibling position. "It's not like Janie's job is much better."
"Okay, you guys suck," Janie said, pulling her head free. "Just because I'm not some big business man like you, Calvin, or a law student like you, Danny, doesn't mean that I'm a loser."
"What about my job?" Alex asked.
"Alex, you work at a library in Milwaukee," Calvin said.
"You make it sound like it's a bad thing," Alex muttered, plopping on the couch. "So Fez. Wanna go out with the guys tonight?"
"Guys, come on," Janie said. "Fez is not like the rest of my boyfriends. He wouldn't be interested in going out to the woods, drinking beer, and lighting fires."
"Oh, don't be so sure," Fez said, smiling at her brothers. Janie gave him a look, and the Braden boys all smiled wickedly.
"Fez baby, you just made a deal with three devils," Janie said. "I don't want you going out with them, they may as well be soccer hooligans."
"Janie, please, we prefer the term thugs," Danny said. "And besides, this thug businessman brought back something from his last trip to Japan." He reached into his pocket, and tossed her a little box.
"If you think that I can be bought off like your girlfriends, you have another think.. Oh my God, is this a silver koi?" Janie asked, pulling out the necklace.
"Janie, can I go with them?" Fez asked.
"Go, please, go," Janie said, putting on the necklace. Fez followed her brothers out, and she rushed to the mirror. "Despite the punk attitude and mentality, I do love me some silver jewelry from Japan."
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Donna walked into Grooves, and saw Dusty behind the counter.
"Hey Dusty," she said, and he looked up.
"You haven't come to kill me, have you?" he asked.
"Um, no, I'm grabbing some music after my shift," she said. "Even if you did break her heart."
"Did I really?" he asked, concerned.
"No, not really," Donna said. "She's getting through it. Anyway, is Hyde here? I need some advice on what to play for a 70s retrospective I'm putting together."
"Zepp."
"Well obviously Zeppelin," Donna said.
"He's in the office."
"Thanks," she said. And slugged him on the shoulder.
"Ow!"
"There, I think that's good enough retribution," she said. She walked into Hyde's office. "Hey Hyde. How are you?"
"Fine," he said. "What's up?"
"I need music."
"What kind of music?"
"The station wants me to do a 70s retrospective in music, and I want your input," she said. "And may I ask why Dusty thinks I'm going to kill him?"
"Because you're Jackie's minion."
"Please, that's you, and you didn't fire him, so-."
"I'm no one's minion," Hyde stated.
"ANYWAY, music," Donna said. Hyde began writing down songs he thought would work out well. "So… How did Jackie take it? She seems fine now, but… how was she when it happened?" He shrugged.
"She didn't say much, she just cried," he said.
"Poor Jackie," Donna said. "Why do you men always treat her so badly?!"
"Hey, you can't lump me in that category anymore, I stayed up with her the whole night he dumped her!" Hyde said. "I've paid my dues, woman!"
"Wait wait wait," Donna said. "Okay, look, let's be very frank here, shall we?"
"We shan't," Hyde said, handing her the list of music. "You have a show to put together."
"Hyde!" she exclaimed, as he shoved her out of his office. "Hyde, come on! Let's talk about this!"
"You love the idea of talking through problems, mainly mine," Hyde said. "Get a life, Donna." She stamped her foot as he walked back into his office.
Dusty chuckled.
"Don't make me hit you again," she said, and he closed his mouth.
--------------------------
Eric and Jackie were sitting in the kitchen, and Kitty poured them some lemonade.
"Look at you two!" she exclaimed. "Since when do you get along?"
"Since all our other friends are working," Jackie said, sipping the drink.
"We aren't friends, Mom," Eric said. "We're grudging acquaintances."
"Whatever you say, Eric," Kitty said. "Jackie, I heard about you and your boyfriend. I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Mrs. Foreman," Jackie said. "I'm over it."
"So what are you two going to do today?" Kitty asked. "Go to a movie? Go for a walk?"
"Sit in the basement reading and ignoring each other," Eric said. "It's an existence we're both comfortable with."
"He's reading 'Lord of the Rings' and I took a book off Red's shelf," Jackie said. She held it up. " 'Heart of Darkness'. It sounds like a really smutty romance novel!"
"…. Oh sweetie," Kitty said, taking the book from her. "Just stick to Cosmo. Come on you two, you both leave soon! Don't you want to get to know each other's quirks? Jackie, you've been in and out of our basement for years now! Start talking!" Eric and Jackie looked at each other.
"So….," Eric said, and scratched the back of his head. "Do you still want to be a cheerleader for the Cowboys?"
"No."
"…. Cool," he said. Kitty sighed.
"Talk about someone you both like," Kitty said. "Steven! Talk about Steven."
"… Hyde's cool," Eric said.
"Yeah, he's cool again," Jackie said. "He wasn't for a long time, but yeah, he's cool."
"…..Cool."
"You two are hopeless," Kitty said, leaving the kitchen.
"… Do you want some pie?" Eric asked.
"Yeah!" Jackie exclaimed.
-------------------------
Fez was sitting in the back seat of the car with Alex, while Calvin and Danny were in the front.
"Where are we going, guys?" Fez asked. Danny looked in the rearview mirror, and took a drag off his cigarette.
"Ever been to Ashland?" he asked.
"…. No… Isn't that up near Lake Superior?" Fez asked, skeptically.
"It sure is," Alex said, taking a hit off a pot cigarette. "We're going camping, Fez."
"It's almost five hours away!" Fez exclaimed.
"Where's your sense of adventure?" Danny asked. "After all, you're dating Jane, you must have SOME sense of adventure."
"She's nuts," Calvin said. "She used to play football with us. Look at this scar! She bit me during one of the games at Thanksgiving!"
"That's funny!" Fez said, laughing. "I have a similar bite on my back, that she…" The brothers all looked at Fez, warily. He sank down in his seat. "Could I get a hit off that dope, Alex?"
"AS I WAS SAYING," Danny said, "we're gonna go fishing and drink the beer and the whiskey, and come back tomorrow and not tell Jane anything that went on. It drives her crazy. We love doing that!"
"She always gets an angry look on her face, the look she's had since she was two!" Calvin whooped. He imitated it, and they all laughed.
"She did that when I tore the head off her Barbie doll," Alex said.
"She did that when I threw her favorite books into the lake by the cabin," Danny said.
"She did that when I knocked her out of bed in my sleep," Fez said. They brothers looked at him again. "I'm just not doing well am I?"
"You're drowning, man," Alex said.
"Don't you worry," Calvin said. "When we're finished, you won't feel strange any more. That's what we do with all of Janie's boyfriends."
"Huh?"
"We expose them to the very worst of us, and that way every other meeting after that is a piece of cake," Danny stated.
"…. What?"
"Hang on, Fez buddy," Alex said, putting his arm around him. "You're in for one hell of a trip." Fez threw himself against the window, as the Braden brothers laughed.
------------------------
Eric and Jackie were sharing a full pie in the kitchen, watching the rain storm fall down from the sky.
"This is not good for my figure," she said.
"Live a little," Eric stated.
"I want to live prettily."
"I wouldn't worry about not living life prettily if I were you."
"Awww, Eric!"
"DON'T repeat that to anyone."
"So what should I do about Steven?" Jackie asked.
"I thought we established I couldn't help you," Eric said, taking a bite of pie. "I'm not a girl, I can't give advice."
"Well you can lend me a sympathetic ear anyway!"
"I have no sympathy for the devil," he said, and she huffed. "But I have to say, you made my day infinitely less boring."
"Of course I did, I'm great," Jackie said. "You should be so lucky that I decided to stay and hang out with you. I mean, I could have gone tanning."
"Jackie, it's raining," he said, and she sighed.
"Yeah, it is," she stated. "Well, then I could have watched the rain. I love the rain, don't you? It just makes me feel at peace, especially when things are really awful."
"Such as?"
"… Well, such as when you were gone and Donna was ignoring me, and Sam was here and married to Steven," she said. "I used to cry…. A lot actually. But when it rained… I felt like I was the most at peace then because…. Because the rain felt like love, I guess. It envelopes you, ya know?" Eric didn't know what to say. So he just put his hand on hers, in a supportive way. She smiled at him, gratefully. They had so few of these moments, and the truth way they both cherished them. "Thank you."
"Sure," Eric said. "Okay, you want some honesty on the Hyde subject?"
"I would love some."
"Well fine," Eric said. "Look, Hyde and Donna have known each other for years, right?"
"Yes."
"Well let's just say that the night I left Donna at the alter, he wasn't up with her all night consoling her," Eric said.
"Yeah, because he fell off the water tower!" Jackie exclaimed.
"Okay fine, but even if he hadn't, he wouldn't have done that," Eric said. "It takes someone he really REALLY cares about to have that happen. And you're the only person I know that he'd do that for." Jackie sat in thought for a little bit, and Eric held a small bite of pie in front of her mouth. "Yummy yummy yummy." She bit it, and then stood.
"I have to go home," she said, mouth full of pie. "Thank you, Eric."
"Okay," he said. "Well, have a good-." She was out the door before he could finish. "Okay then. Bye!"
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Donna was at the station, looking through her music, when Janie knocked on the window. Donna motioned for her to come in, and she did so.
"I think my brothers have kidnapped my lover," Janie said.
"What?"
"My older brothers came to town to see me today," Janie said. "And they took Fez with them. They tempted me with jewelry!"
"Since when do you like jewelry?" Donna asked.
"Since it's Japanese," Janie said, showing off the fish. Donna 'ooooo'd!' and Janie smiled from ear to ear, then frowned again. "But I haven't heard from them, and I'm concerned that maybe they did what they did to my last boyfriend!"
"What did they do?"
"Dumped him off in the woods," Janie stated.
"Well that's not bad."
"Did I mention it was in Duluth, Minnesota?"
"Oh jeeze. Don't they want their sister to be happy?"
"Well sure they do!" Janie said. "They just don't like some guy sticking his-."
"Okay okay, never mind, forget I asked," Donna said. "I'm sure that Fez is fine, Janie. Your brothers, on the other hand, sound mentally disturbed."
"You don't have older brothers, do you?"
"No… But Kelso does. I dated one once… He wasn't much better than Kelso."
"Good story. What are you working on?"
"Well, for my last show here they wanted me to do a Hot Donna throwback show of the 70s," Donna said. "It's kind of dumb, but they really want me to do it. I'm broadcasting it my last shift before I go to Madison."
"That's cutesey." Janie said. "Donna, I'm worried about Fez."
"Don't be," Donna said. "I'm sure he's fine."
Meanwhile, Fez was sitting with a blanket around himself by the lake. He was looking around, waiting for the Bradens to come back.
"Guys?" he called. "It's been about, oh, a half hour…. This isn't funny!"
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Janie was at the apartment, when her brothers burst through the door. They were all wet from the rainstorm that had been falling all day.
"Hey Jane!" Calvin said. "How was YOUR day?"
"Guys, where have you been?" she asked, standing up. "Where on Earth did you take Fez?"
"Jane, he's a good guy," Danny said, going to the fridge. "We all sat around, drank, smoked pot, and he really cares about you."
"Well I could have told you dumbasses that!" Janie said. "But I'm glad you had a good time. Now where is he?"
"…Chequamegon Bay," Alex said. Janie's mouth dropped.
"You dumped him off in Ashland?!" Janie asked.
"By the cabin!" Danny defended.
"That doesn't matter! Does he know there's a cabin?"
"… No."
"You guys suck so much! What were you thinking?! It's a four hour drive up, by the time I get there he'll have been out there for eight hours!" she exclaimed, throwing her shoes on. "Are you happy now, guys?!"
"No," Alex said, softly. ".. Cuz you snapped at us."
"Make yourselves at home, you jackasses!" Janie exclaimed. "I'll probably be back tomorrow!" She stormed out of the apartment, and her brothers all shared mischievous looks.
"That was awesome," Danny stated.
"I don't know what she was so mad about, it wasn't like LAST time," Calvin said.
"Yeah, Duluth is a lot further away!" Alex said, opening a box of cereal.
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Jackie was sitting on the couch, listening to Donna's radio program and watching the rain.
"Well, I'm about to clock out here, after being here until ten fifteen," Donna said over the radio waves. "I hope that everyone wasn't too disappointed that Rocking Robby came down with the flu, but hey, you got a double dose of Hot Donna today. I just got a call from a friend of mine… Okay, my boyfriend.." Jackie smirked, setting down her tea cup. "… And he has a request, which is up next. And it's to our mutual friend Jackie, apparently." Jackie's ears perked up.
"So on with the song, this is The Who, with 'Love Reigh O'er Me'," Donna said, as the song began playing. "Jackie, if you're listening, we both love you… Contrary to popular belief. And just keep watching the rain. I'll assume you get that Jackie, cuz I don't." Jackie smiled, and made a mental note to hug Eric when she saw him next.
Hyde walked in to the apartment at that time.
"Hey," he said, closing the door. "You're really into The Who, huh?"
"Didn't you hear? This is MY song," she said, and he sat next to her. He smirked.
"Oh really," he stated. "Have a good day?" She nodded, and smiled at him. "What?"
"… About the other night," she said, "you didn't have to stay up with me you know."
"Don't mention it," he said. "It was nothing."
"No, it meant a lot," she said. "It was one of the nicest things you've ever done for me, and I wanted you to know that…" He nodded, and smiled coolly.
"Well, only for you, right?" he asked. It was a harmless comment, but it made Jackie shiver all over.
"Yeah, I guess," she said. "….. Thanks, though."
"Yeah, you're welcome," he said. "I'm going to go do some work in my room, then probably go to bed. Night."
"Yeah, night," she said. He walked into his room, and she took her tea cup to the kitchen, turning off the radio as she went. But from Hyde's room, she could hear his radio, playing the same song. She leaned against the counter, and listened. She didn't know what possessed her at that moment. Was it the music? Was it the rain? Was it what he had said? Or was it just because it was him, and it was her? She jumped up, and rushed to his room. She knocked on the door, frantically, and he opened it.
"What's wrong?" he asked. She just looked at him, breathing in and out quickly. "Jackie? What's wrong?" She grabbed him, and kissed him fiercely. He was obviously caught off guard, but eventually wrapped his arms around her. He lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her, still kissing her, and then tripped into the doorframe. She squawked a little as she was crushed between him and it.
"Sorry," he said, and carried her into his bedroom, the song reverberating throughout the room, and the thunder crashing as the rain hit the windows.
Only love can make it rain,
The way the beach is kissed by the sea.
Only love can make it rain,
Like the sweat of lovers layin' in the field.
Love, reign O'er Me.
Love, reign O'er Me.
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Fez was sitting in the woods, knowing that the Brothers weren't going to come back for him. But he didn't want to start the trek back to Point Place until it was morning.
"Oh Fez, just survive one night," he muttered, hugging himself and rocking back and forth. He heard a crack in the brush. "If that is some sort of large cat, I. Am. Not. Food!"
Janie walked into the clearing, holding a grocery bag.
"I'm your little kitty cat," she said, smiling. Fez leapt up, and hugged her. "Okay, calm down."
"I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE!!!" he exclaimed.
"Fez, there's a really nice cabin my parents own just down that path," Janie said. "Let's go there."
"I thought I was going to starve to death!" he exclaimed. "Your brothers are mean! They're jerks! They're-!"
"They really liked you."
"Oh…. They aren't so bad," he said, and she led him down the path.
FADE OUT