Years went by. They crawled and they sped, time becoming a meaningless concept to the heart of a broken angel. Crowley had proven himself useless in getting Dean's soul restored. He confronted the King of Hell, demanding he prove that it could even be done by him before he was to agree to some mysterious deal. And it didn't stop him when Crowley proved a dead end. When that didn't work out, he went on to other options. His desperation to be reunited with his one true love didn't waver, not for a very long time anyways.

He tried multiple gods and when they refused to help, he had a plan in action to bring them to a swift end. Oh, they claimed they were unable to help; that resurrecting Dean Winchester when the soul was unobtainable was beyond even them did nothing to convince Castiel. They were gods. They had immense power. It was simply their egos that kept them from truly wanting to help, so they had to be dealt with, so that their selfishness would also be extinguished.

Witches of course proved to be even more useless. And of course, they met a rapid demise as well. A small part of him found it a bit disturbing when he noticed that he was smiling when he had killed them. But he paid it little attention. What did he care if there were a few less witches in the world? They were, after all, just witches.

And then there was the most disturbing incident of all that had led Gabriel to interfering. If Castiel was honest with himself, and nowadays he usually was, he was still furious that the archangel had intervened. He had been happy for a time, no matter how false that happiness really was. He currently sat in a dark and damp cave, thinking fondly of those constructed memories.

…..

"Honey, I'm home."

Cas looked up from the television. He was full relaxed on the overstuffed couch. He had been too engrossed in some stupid and inane reality show that he still wasn't sure why he had stopped on in the first place. The "he had sex with her, she had sex with him, she had sex with her" bullshit was really nerve grating. Flipping off the television, he looked over at his mate.

Cas smiled. "Dean," he said, getting up from the sofa. He wrapped his arms around him and kissed him longingly, not caring in the slightest that Dean was dirty and smelled from his long shift at the oil field. Dean was his. And he was home. That's all that mattered. Reluctantly, he broke the kiss. "I ordered us some Chinese with your favorite."

"Orange chicken and apple pie too?" Dean kissed the tip of Cas's nose. "You spoil me, you know that?" He winked.

Cas felt himself blushing. "Please, not like you spoil me. Now, the food isn't supposed to be here for another twenty minutes. Let's say we go get in the shower?" He smiled suggestively.

Neither one of them wasting any time, both of them started stripping and discarding articles of clothing all the way to the bathroom. Dean's boots had trailed some dirt along the way before they were taken off, but Cas couldn't find himself to be bothered by it. He'd clean it up after he had his way with his beefy oil field man.

Quickly turning on the shower, they jumped in when it was deemed hot enough. The Chinese would be here soon. It had to be a quickie this time around. But Cas didn't mind. Those were fun too. Kissing Dean, he turned him around, pressing him up against the wet tile wall. He took the loofah and cleaned him speedily with that Old Spice body wash that drove him crazy any time he smelled it on his Dean, seeing the water run brown with all the dirt and grime, slowly turning clear as the sexy oil field worker became clean.

Soaping himself up as well and applying a bit of lube to himself that was kept conveniently on a shelf in the shower, he slowly began to insert himself in Dean. Both of them groaned in ecstasy. Cas swallowed Dean's moan of pleasure in a kiss, as he had turned Dean's head around to meet his.

Cas ran his hands all over Dean's firm chest as he thrust into him, faster and faster. After a minute or two, Cas found his hand gripped tightly around Dean's fat shaft, jerking him furiously. Despite having had way less stimulation than Cas, Dean came quickly, shooting his load all over the white tile wall. That sent Cas into overdrive.

"Sorry," Dean mumbled. "I didn't mean to cum so fast."

"No, I love it," Cas replied, bringing his hand up to lick the remnants of cum off his fingers. "Just be prepared for round two later."

Within seconds of Dean cumming, Cas could feel himself on the brink of spilling himself inside Dean. He gripped Dean's hip with one hand and his shoulder with the other, feeling himself getting closer. It was just about to happen when the doorbell rang and then everything darkened.

Cas found himself laying on the cold wet floor in an abandoned warehouse with a dead djinn just feet away. The angel's skin was pale, verging on gray, while his pulse was too slow. His body looked malnourished and his hair was thinning out. His signature trench coat was missing and the shirt and tie he always wore were filthy and tattered. Looking up at his brother that stood over him, he felt a rage welling up inside him.

"Why in the hell did you do that," Cas screamed at Gabriel.

Gabriel looked confused. "Why? What do you mean by that Cas? I saved you. How did that djinn even manage to capture you anyways?"

"Because I let him," Cas spat. "And you… and you ruined it! I was happy again, I was… Dean…" Cas's voice trailed off, feeling the despair at what he had lost hitting him.

The archangel looked down at his little brother, his eyes twisted with sadness and pity. "Brother, I feel your pain, but…"

"You feel nothing," Cas yelled, attempting to get to his feet, but failing and collapsing back down on to the hard concrete floor.

Gabriel bent to try and help him up, but Castiel slapped his hand away, a fit of tears overtaking his body as it began to shudder with renewed depression. "I was happy again dammit! Why can't you understand that?"

Gabriel knelt next to his brother and spoke gently. "Cas, it's been more than twenty years now. Dean wouldn't want…"

Cas looked up at Gabriel, eyes wild. "Do not speak his name!"

"I'm worried for you," Gabriel said. "Please, just let me help you. Sam…"

"Leave me alone!"

"Brother…"

"Get out of here," Cas roared, reaching up and managing to wrap his hands around the throat of a shocked Gabriel and squeezing. "Or I will force you to have to kill me."

The trickster angel couldn't look more sorrowful for his brother. "I'm here for you Cas," he choked out, placing his hands on Cas's.

"Fuck you," Cas responded through gritted teeth. "And I'll just find another djinn. Nothing's stopping me."

"Then I'll just kill it too," Gabriel replied and then disappeared.

…..

Cas had indeed tried another djinn and true to his word, Gabriel had killed him and then promptly left without another word, only giving him an expression of pity. The angel no longer cared what his older brother thought of him. He didn't care about anything anymore. If he couldn't get Dean back, than he no longer cared about his humanity. It was Dean that was his humanity. And Dean was never coming back to him.

What Cas didn't know was that Gabriel had only known that Cas was being drained by a djinn because Dean had warned him. He didn't reveal himself, but he had managed to let Gabriel know discreetly by sending the thought into his head. It had freaked Gabriel out, but at least he had followed through. Dean could have saved Cas himself, but he found himself wanting to interfere less and less, especially directly. He figured it came with the territory of being Death. But he be damned if he didn't do something to help Cas. He still loved him after all.

Cas breathed deeply and stood. He was tired of all the bullshit. What was life without Dean? What was life, if he was to spend it eternally wandering it in a vicious dark solitude? He let slip from his newly purchased black trench coat his angel blade. With one hand, he smoothed out his black button up shirt and then he gripped the hilt of his blade with both hands. Positioning it over his heart, he felt the tip of the sharp blade at his chest. It slowly began to pierce the skin of his vessel. He had used Jimmy Novak's body long enough. The light of his grace could be seen shining through the small wound.

And just as he was about to take the plunge and end his life, Crowley flashed before him, a surprised and disappointed look upon his face. Cas paused, not sure how to react. Crowley was the first to speak. "Now before you go and do something foolhardy my friend, maybe you ought to listen to my proposition."

"Go away and let me finish what I started," Cas screamed. And without another word said to Crowley, he began to push the blade in himself a little deeper, his wound glowing brighter with his grace.