Ash left Pikachu inside with the others later that night, leaving Samuel's place to go on a walk. Her thoughts were tangled and she wanted to clear them before the rest days began, so she could actually make use of them, and the distant bustling of the League Village provided a soothing 'static' in the background of her aura senses. Samuel's little talk with her had thrown her off guard. Shaking her head, she tried to focus on the present.
She'd passed the preliminaries as planned, and would now be progressing to the Top 16 round. She was excited, of course, proud of her team, but… Ash sighed, glancing up at the star-dotted sky. When she had first decided to challenge the Indigo League, she'd been eight years old and had fully believed her mother would be there in the stands, cheering for her.
She had the Oaks, though their focus was split between her and Gary. She had the Yvonnes, somehow, who came all the way from Kalos to support her, even Serena's cousin who she hadn't even known about until they met up with her. And now she had the Maple family, who had become her and Gary's fans in the conference and good friends besides.
It wasn't the same. She wanted to hear her own mother's voice in the stands. But… that wouldn't be happening. If she really dug deep, she knew that she was sort of to blame for that; after all, she did listen to Delia's words and not come back. She hadn't called her, hadn't sent a letter, had basically…
Ash froze mid-step.
She'd done the same thing her father had.
Suddenly feeling nauseous, Ash stumbled slightly and quickly hurried over to the nearest wall to steady herself. She'd walked out and never come back, just like her father. She'd abandoned her own mother, proved her right, oh Arceus how could she have－
"Ashka…?"
Head jerking up, she whirled to face the one who'd spoken, eyes widening when her vision confirmed what her ears had told her. Delia stood just a yard or so away, looking pale and fragile. Her clothes hung off her, like they were just a size too big, but just last year they'd fit perfectly… Ash quickly ran her eyes over her mother's form, heart aching as she realized how frail she'd become. Her beautiful amber eyes were a little sunken, face slightly gaunt, and she looked like she hadn't been eating properly for months.
"Mom," she started, taking a step forwards before she hesitated. What if she just made it worse? What was she supposed to do? How could she fix what she had clearly broken? Ash steeled herself and opened her mouth.
"I'm sorry."
Ash blinked, because her voice had somehow developed an echo. No, she realized in shock, unknowingly mirroring Delia's expression, we both said it.
"No, Mom, it's fi－"
"Let me finish," Delia burst out, eyes watering. "I… please, just… hear me out."
Swallowing hard, Ash nodded, clutching at her jacket's hem, shoulders hunching instinctively. What else could she do?
"I didn't… I shouldn't have said what I did." Delia's voice cracked, and her lips trembled, but she pressed on. "You are not like him, you didn't deserve to be treated like him."
Ash spoke before she could stop herself. "You're wrong. I know it now, I just realized… you were… what you said was right. Because I didn't come back, or visit, or call or write. I… I did the same thing he did." She tried to say more past the lump in her throat, but it got stuck. Her vision blurred, and she tried to fight back the tears that burned hot in her eyes.
"Oh baby… no, that's not… The only reason you didn't is because I said that terrible thing and hurt you," Delia whispered, feet taking her a couple steps forward even as her arms made an aborted motion to reach out. "I know you, Ash, you would have. If I hadn't been stupid and said that terrible, absolutely untrue thing, you would have called me every time you could."
That made Ash pause, because… she had intended to call every time she could. But… "I thought you wouldn't want me to, after… I-I thought you just didn't want me to be around at all if I wasn't going to stay home."
"Oh Mew, that's－no, honey, never!" Delia broke their standoff, striding forwards to sweep her daughter into a tight embrace. It scared Ash to find that her mother's grip was weaker than it had ever been, and that Delia was shaking as she stroked her hair and rubbed her back. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry, Ash, I never should have tried to stop you. You were always meant for great things, I knew this, and still I… I wasn't ready to let you go…"
"I'm sorry for leaving after a fight," Ash said shakily, before her voice failed her and she dissolved into muffled sobs. All of this hurt, just because they both hurt from her father walking out… it should never had happened like this, and they both knew it. "I should have… should have just talked it out with you in the morning…"
"I'm sorry for causing it." Delia was crying now too, both Ketchums clinging to each other. "My baby girl… you deserved better than a bitter woman like me…"
"No, Mommy, you were trying, I just didn't want to see you struggling－"
"I'm your mother, I should have held it in. I could have talked to you about your journey sooner, instead of springing my feelings about it last minute the way I did. I should have. You… y-you were so excited," she hiccuped. "You were so happy to go win those badges, and achieve your dreams… and you did, baby, you did! You're so much stronger than me, you went out and got those badges, and now you're in this big tournament… I'm so proud of you. I'm so sorry I hurt you, and maybe I don't deserve it but I am so proud of you."
Ash pressed her face into her mother's shoulder, sharper now with the weight she'd clearly lost, and tried to control her breathing. Her aura senses were going haywire in her emotional state, but because of it she could feel Delia's aura so deeply, so overwhelmingly. Her mother was sorry. She was filled with regret and grief and self-hate and love, with guilt and relief and just. So much love.
There was no doubting her sincerity. Not when Ash could feel it in her very soul. And there were a lot of things she could have said right then; that she forgave her, that everything was alright, that they would figure it out.
"I love you," Ash said instead.
Delia inhaled sharply, holding her tighter. "I love you too, Ashka. More than anything."
They stayed like that for a long while, as if catching up on all the months they'd missed together. It was only when Delia started to shiver that Ash pulled back a bit.
"C'mon, it's getting cold," she said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Grabbing her mother's hand and twisting their fingers together－Delia's were too thin, far too thin and frail－to lead her back to Samuel's house. On the way, Ash snatched Delia's bag, refusing to give it back. Her mother's lonely suffering had left her weak and out of shape, so it was better that Ash carry her things. Even then, Delia was panting softly by the time they arrived.
"Mom," she began, worried by her state. "… are you..?"
"I'll be fine," Delia said, once she'd caught her breath. It was obvious she was lying. Ash's growing unease at her unhealthy state tripled, then, her aura senses practically shrieking now that she wasn't focused solely on the emotions between them. Delia felt… off. Sickly. And it scared her.
So Ash redirected any leftover frustration to Samuel Oak, because he lived in the same town dammit, he should have told Ash about how bad off Delia was, no matter what had gone on between them. That in mind, Ash flung the door open and stalked inside.
"SAMUEL OAK," she bellowed, shocking her friends and all the Pokemon out of their relaxed sleepiness. "YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO."
XxXxX
Serena was always one to worry over her friends, and to support them through tough times. When Ash had told her about Delia's words that day, she'd been furious. If she'd known Ash's address, she would have sent the woman a letter giving her a piece of her mind.
Now, Serena was a little glad she hadn't been able to.
The woman sitting next to her looked, to be polite, unwell. Like someone had sucked the life out of her. The more time Delia spent with Ash, the better she seemed, but it was clear to see that the months without being in contact with her daughter had nearly destroyed her.
And watching Ash rip Professor Oak a new one in front of everybody over how he should have told her that her mother wasn't doing well… it was a little terrifying. And it showed with heartbreaking clarity that no matter how much Delia's words had hurt her, Ash loved her mother with every cell in her body, and she would defend her till her dying breath. It took a few hours, but eventually the story came out.
When Ash was young, her father had abandoned the family, leaving behind two broken hearts that only had each other to hold themselves together. When Ash decided to go on a journey, Delia panicked and wasn't ready to be alone, so she lashed out. The ten months of separation were far harder on Delia than they were on Ash (though they were still very painful for Ash), but it was for Ash that she'd come to try to apologize and set things right. And Ash, being Ash, only took about an hour to fully forgive her, because she understood the reasoning and both acknowledged their mistakes in handling the situation.
Serena had even more respect for Ash, now. Delia too, because it took courage to go back to the person you hurt and tell them you were wrong. Even if you had to crawl the whole way.
It took Ash's Pokemon longer to accept the apology and forgive, but Titania finally stepped forwards and wrapped a ribbon around the woman's wrist as a sort of peace offering. Whatever the Sylveon sensed when she'd done so had alarmed her, and she'd spent the rest of the night cuddled up to Delia with her two remaining kits.
Now Serena was just worried about Delia's health, and the affect it would have on Ash.
XxXxX
Is everything alright? I understand that it's the tournament, but you are usually very quick to answer messages.
Ash took a moment to consider the question in Lance's latest message. It was evening of the second rest day, and she'd spent both of them standing or sitting as close to Delia as possible while she integrated her into the 'group'. That afternoon, though, she'd set aside for just the two of them (and her Pokemon), so they had stayed in Ash's dorm, cooking and baking and just enjoying each others' company again.
She had also, finally, told Delia about what had happened on her journey, from seeing Ho-oh to her escape from the leader of Team Rocket to her flawless victories in the prelims. She hadn't wanted to reveal her scars, at first, but Delia was insistent.
"I need to know," she'd said tearfully. "So I know how much I need to make up for."
Ash sort of understood that, and she sort of didn't. But she let her mother fuss and fret and mourn, gentle hands inspecting every single blemish on her body. Then they'd snuggled on the bed and napped, seven Pokemon acting as both blanket and pillow. Currently, Delia was using the dorm's kitchen to make dinner, and Ash was curled up on the couch with Alto's head resting atop her shoulder. Finally, she typed out her reply to Lance.
I'm not sure. Very emotionally difficult past two days.
His response was almost immediate.
What happened
She raised her eyebrows at the demand, but because he was obviously worried for her she let it slide.
… My mom came to apologize for what she said the day before I started my journey. I'm not gonna say what, we've moved on from it, but seeing her again after so long of hurting was really hard. She isn't looking too good either, I'm worried.
The delay was noticeably longer, this time, but she wasn't surprised. She'd never spoken about it to him, and he knew her well enough to know that she didn't do things halfway, emotions included.
Is there anything I can do?
Ash smiled a bit at that, touched by the offer.
Nah, I think I just need to ride it out. Thanks, though. She thought a moment, and then added, Well, maybe recommend a doctor? I don't know what's wrong with my mom but I can't just leave it be… Seeing her like this is scary. It'll just be a battle and a half to get her to see a doctor, aha.
Glancing over to the kitchen area as Delia hummed to herself, Ash's eyes dimmed when frail fingers slipped on the knife, something that had never happened before that Ash could remember. Alto chirped softly at her, sensing her distress. Reaching up to stroke her plumed head, Ash sighed, looking back to her PokeNav when it buzzed.
The League has several medically trained Alakazam that could… subtly check on her. I could drop by? A purely professional visit, of course, I'm sure any parent would want reassurance that Team Rocket would no longer be a threat to their child.
Ash was unable to hold back a short bark of laughter, causing her mother to look over.
"Just a few messages," she explained, waving the PokeNav. Then she hesitated. "… Mom? You know how I told you about the… the Viridian Gym?" When Delia stiffened and nodded shortly, she said, "Now that we're okay again, the Champion wanted to talk with you. Something about a follow-up, since I was involved. Would you mind that?"
"I do have some things to discuss with him, yes," Delia replied.
"Okay, I'll let him know."
When?
Apparently, the answer was now, because two auras appeared right outside her dorm door, and a heartbeat later she heard a knock.
"That was fast," was all she said, getting to her feet to let Lance inside.
He let out a strangled noise when she opened the door, and it was then she realized that, at her mother's request so as not to be ashamed of her body, she was wearing a tank top that showed off pretty much every scar aside from the ones at chest and rib level. Golden eyes darkened, distressed, and his hands jerked, as if he wanted to reach out only to forcible stop the action.
Delia narrowed her eyes for a split second as Ash quietly directed him and Alakazam into the kitchen, and the young trainer shivered as the temperature seemed to drop. Oberon jumped onto the counter, walking right up to Lance and rubbing his face all over the Champion's black shirt, leaving a bit purple fur behind. Ash sighed. "Oberon, you dork, stop shedding on the Champion. Go back to the nest."
"Espe." He flipped his tail at her but obeyed, sulking away to his Queen and kits.
Seeing Lance's attention freed, Alto hopped over, demanding to be petted. The Dragon master laughed lowly, the sound making Ash shiver for some strange reason, and gently pushed her back.
"It's nice to see you too, but I'm here on business, Alto. Another time," he promised. Alto huffed, but dragged her beak through his scarlet locks a few times and returned to the couch, scooping up Charmander and distracting herself with mothering the small Fire type. That settled, Lance met Delia's gaze and visibly steeled himself, slipping into his Champion persona.
"Firstly, I'd like to apologize for the fact that due to the League's initial inefficiency, your daughter was hurt in several encounters with Team Rocket. It was only due to her bravery and skill that we were able to wipe out the organization, and it is to my regret and shame that it took her being put in such dangerous situations to enable that." He lowered himself into a deep, traditional bow. "I assure you, it will never happen again. It should not have happened to begin with, but that is all I can promise you. You and your daughter will also be compensated for all three of her encounters with Team Rocket."
Ash started at that, having heard nothing of the sort. Confused, she was about to protest when Delia held up a hand to shush her.
"Your apology and compensation are accepted," Delia said smoothly, "but it is to go to my daughter, who was the one truly affected. And her life better not be put in such danger again. Now stand up straight, I'd rather you look me in the eyes than stare at the floor."
Lance did as told, and Ash suddenly had a bad feeling at the look in her mother's eyes. She'd never seen it before. It was like watching an Ariados about to snag a helpless Caterpie in its web, unsettling and worrying, and Ash decided that she very much disliked it.
"Now then," Delia said with a smile that wasn't quite a smile. "What are your intentions with my daughter?"
And Ash stared, absolutely flabbergasted and heart maybe beating weirdly fast, as Lance blushed.