Disclaimer: Teen Titans? Mine? You're funny. He he. Back to the story.

A/N: I want to send out a shout out to EthanLover. I hope this meets your request lol. Also, Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me so far. I hope you like this update.

Update: I know I said I was going to leave this story alone but, after writing this chapter I've realized everything would be better if I placed it all in active voice. So, slowly but surely this is being rewritten. One more thing, I'm thinking of changing the title. If you have any ideas leave it in a review or send me a PM. Who knows if I like it I might even write a one shot for that person.

-Ana Uzumaki

.: "You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control." :.

.: ― Megan Chance, The Spiritualist: A Novel :.

Chapter 20: Hero

Richard Grayson

Location: The Batcave

Date: December 25 Time: 10:57

Every time it starts the same. The bright lights surrounding us dim till the crowd disappears. Adrenaline pumps though my system as the tent goes quiet. The spotlight focuses, bringing the presence of a heavy set man into view. He throws his arms up, a genuine smile spreading across his face. His large hands grip the bar in front of him as it swings forward.

In an instant he pulls his knees up and through the bar, his feet gripping the edges. Swinging his body forward he gains enough momentum for the next segment. A woman appears behind me. Loose ends of her blonde hair escape her ornate bun as she bends down to my level. Slowly she places her lips to my cheek, her normal sign for good luck.

She stands on the edge, her feet hanging off the side. They announce her name and the sound echoes all around me. Like her husband before her she lifts up her hands announcing her presence to all those around. The lights bounce off of her costume; the green, red, yellow, and black material fitted to our skin. She waits on the edge for precisely the right moment to jump.

She gives me a slight wink as she leaps off the platform. In perfect synchronization, she reaches forward and my dad catches her with strong hands. The pit of my stomach drops as they lean forward to catch me. It's my turn to jump. I give the crowd a big smile. A large bang erupts from the other side of the tent cutting off the ringmaster as he announces my name. The cable slides off of its hinges and I watch in horror as the couple in front of me begins to fall.

"Dick!" My mother screams, her voice frantic.

"No," I cry falling to my knees. I repeat the word over and over until it becomes a tuneless chant. I duck my head pulling my body as close to itself as possible trying to hold myself together. I jump as I feel someone touch my back. Immediately my body tenses. This isn't right.

I look up at the figure behind me. He's tall. His blonde hair hugs the side of his head in a crew cut. I flinch away from his touch. This isn't right, I repeat climbing down from the platform.

"Bruce," I call. The word barely comes out. "Where is Bruce?" I ask anxiously.

The man disappears. In his place another man appears. His face is divided into two, one side black, the other orange.

"Slade," I hiss. In an instant, he takes out a long staff and hits me from behind. The metal makes contact with my head causing an immediate throb to pump through my skull.

"Now you've done it," he says simply; like a parent scolding their misbehaving child.

"What are you talking about? Where is the detonator?" I shout pulling out my staff. My head feels fuzzy. Nothing makes sense anymore.

He charges forward our staffs' making a metallic clink as we clash together. He gives no quarter as he slams his staff into my chest. I double over gasping for breath dropping the staff he had just passed me. I barely turn around in time to see Slade coming at me again. This time I dodge. I kick my foot out trying to knock his feet out from under him. I realize quickly that it wouldn't work. His foot collides with my side and I fall to my knees.

"Now, now, Dick you know there's no detonator," he laughs. The echo sounds wrong, misplaced with the rings of the circus surrounding us. Slade leans forward, his mask more menacing then before. He holds up his hand showing off a small controller strapped to his wrist. Reorganization flashes across my face.

"This has nothing to do with them," I plea. "Leave them out of this!"

"You've allowed yourself to be captured." He holds his hand out making a point to place his thumb on the trigger.

"I didn't mean to." I hate sounding so weak. He reaches forward yanking my head back.

"What you meant to do and what has happened is two different things, each with their own outcome. You, Dick, have stumbled upon an irrefutable consequence to your actions." He shifts gesturing towards the wall behind him.

Each of the Titans is lying against the far wall of the tent their hands bound with small sections of rock. I take off running, my footsteps ricocheting off the floor.

Beast Boy is first. By the look of it, he's unconscious; his body is limp against the wall. Cyborg and raven are unconscious as well. Star is the only one on the verge of consciousness.

"Robin?" she asks uncertainly as I approach her. My body's surrounded by shadows.

"Yeah, it's me Star," I answer weakly stepping into the light.

"You look different," she says with a weak smile. I look down. I'm still wearing the acrobatic uniform my mother made me years before. "Y-Your eyes…" She stutters dropping her sentence.

Immediately I bring my hand up to my face. Sure enough my blue eyes are exposed to the world to see. Her eyes close and she cries out in pain as the probes within each of the Titans are activated.

"Slade, please stop. I'll do anything," I yell. He ignores me, a blonde shadow appearing beside him. The shouts of my team become unbearable. Eventually, I begin shouting with them begging him to stop.

I awake with a start nearly falling off the cot I was laying on. Black and white dots flash across my vision. Slowly I try and sit up but a wave of pain stops me. My head is throbbing and the florescent light above aren't helping.

"What the fuck, Bruce?" I yell as soon I hear him enter the room. The events from the previous night come rushing back to me. Bruce still has the Batsuit on, the cowl covering his face. I try sitting up again. This time I succeed but my head is still pounding.

"Others you may have been in company with may allow that sort of language, but I will not," he booms refusing to look at me. He walks over to the computer his cape trailing behind him. His fingers hover over the keys. After a second, he types in a few key strokes and a small opening appears in my cell.

For the first time I notice my surroundings. I'm in the integration cell closest to the front of the cave. Even after almost year without returning the cave still looked the same. Above me bats were hanging off the ceiling. Seeing them comforted me. This cave has been their home for centuries. It was a variable in my life that was still constant even though I felt like everything else was falling apart.

"Put this on," he orders placing a small package inside the box. I look over to him. His eyes are still averting mine. When he's finished he walks back over to the computer. He hits a few more keys and the box disappears blending in with the glass.

"This isn't fair. Let me out of here!" I complain getting up.

He ignores me, instead choosing to take the elevator back up stairs in silence. I watch as he goes filling with anger. I'm not okay with this. Even my room in the Haunt had been better than this. I grudgingly walk over to the package he left me. I take a seat on the cot and unwrap the box. As soon as the top layer of paper is torn off I feel the cloth beneath my finger tips.

I pull out each piece. The first was a pair of dark jeans followed by a t-shirt and my red jacket. The familiar smell overwhelms me making me gag. I don't need this; I don't want this. I don't deserve this, I decide finally. After everything that I've done I don't deserve to have the comfort these things will offer me.

Bruce has changed everything. He came for me. Even so, the least I can do is to change out of the uniform that mocks everything he had ever stood for. I'm a disgrace enough without having to shove it in his face. I change out of the uniform replacing everything but my mask.

I pull up my hood and retreat to the far end of the cell, my mood bouncing back and forth. I'm furious with him but in the same breath I'm relived. Eventually, I hear him reemerge from upstairs. His footsteps come closer and I hear him open the door. He slides the glass back in place once he's inside.

"Richard." He calls my name softly making my heart ache. I ignore him. He calls my name again, this time with more force before walking over to me. "Richard John Grayson, you answer me when I'm talking to you," he booms pulling my hood down in one swift motion.

"What?" When I look up what I see surprises me. Bruce's big blue eyes are staring back down at me, his expression hard. There was no Batman, just Bruce. While upstairs he must have replaced the Batsuit with his civilian attire.

"Take the mask off."

"No."

That was not going to happen under any circumstance. Under the mask I'm protected; Bruce is protected. Without it, my eyes would tell him too much. He would find the hurt, the betrayal I feel. He would see his Robin disappear replaced with what Slade had made me. He would discover everything that I was hiding and I would crumble.

"Do it," he commands. He doesn't sound like he's integrating a criminal. He sounds like a father disciplining his child. Slade's voice rings in my head.

"Make me." My response is biting. No matter what he did to me it wouldn't compare to anything that I haven't already experienced.

"Please, Dick?" I look up at him.

Bruce isn't someone who apologizes, who even who says thank you. This was all wrong. Everything he's ever taught me is edged into my memory. His word is law. When I actually sit down and think about it I'm similar to Slade because I'm similar to Bruce. If I was ever going to get Slade to release the Titans I would have to make Bruce give up on me. Considering it's already happened, it shouldn't be hard to make him do it again.

"Don't pretend that you actually care about me, Bruce. I'm not buying it," I shrug keeping my tone indifferent.

"You think I don't care about you?" He retorts angrily. He's pissed. Everything about him screams that much. His posture changes; his body leaning forward.

"You don't," I announce calmly.

"How the hell did you come to that conclusion?"

"I've been gone for almost four months!" I yell my anger getting the best of me. All the things that I have been holding in are beginning to leak out. "If you cared that god damn much for me you would've come for me but instead you left me there Bruce!"

"If you didn't wanna be there why didn't you leave?" He's yelling back now. "Hell Dick! Why did you join him in the first place? Was it to get back at me? Was that it?"

"Go to hell Bruce." His words sting.

"Oh, yeah real mature Dick."

"You gave up on me. What else did you expect me to do? You act as if I had a choice of whether or not I wanted to be there. Don't act all high and mighty when you don't even fully understand what you're talking about."

"Then enlighten me, Dick. Why are you running around Jump City stealing from major corporations, including mine, and attacking these so called 'Titans' in which you started in the first place?"

I wince. He's seen it. He's seen my fights with the Titans, the footage from every time I've sneaked into building after building to steal something; he saw me attack him. I have violated almost every rule, every lesson he had taught me. I need to find a way out of here before I make it worse. "I didn't deserve to be rescued and I had accepted that until you showed up," I yell frantically, my breathing becoming uneven.

"Like hell!"

"What do you want from me, Bruce?" I yell finally breaking down. "What do you want me to tell you? You have no idea what I've been going through!"

"You're a criminal! I thought I taught you better than that." Disappointment floods through the room like an invisible fog. I feel like it is choking me.

"I am not a criminal!" I yell back desperately trying to breathe.

"Then what are you Dick?"

"A hero," I whisper weakly.

"A hero? Hero's do not steal. They do not lie and they most certainly do not act the way you've been acting."

"I didn't have a choice! I've been the apprentice of a mercenary for almost five months learning who knows what. He taught me how to hold a knife up to someone's throat and how to shoot. Is that what you want to hear?" I could feel tears running down my face though my mask. "I've been torturing myself for the last four months because some sick part of me liked it. I liked holding a firearm and after I shot it for the first time is was easier and easier to do it again and it terrifies me."

"Dick?" He leans down taking a seat next to me. "You need to calm down."

"I-I can't," I stutter.

"Yes you can," he says calmly.

"Bruce it hurts to breathe. Make it stop," I beg. I feel a weight on my chest crushing me from the inside out. "I have to get out of here!" I yell trying to get up. I feel his strong hands grab my shoulders but when I look up all I see are black and white dots.

"Relax. Breathe in though your nose and out your mouth," he orders.

"Bruce what's going on?" I ask desperately.

"You're having a panic attack. Nothing serious is happening to you. I'm sorry. You're home now. Everything is going to be okay," he promises.

I listen to him and begin trying to focus on breathing. Breathe in though your nose and out your mouth, I repeat. I close my eyes realizing I'm exhausted. Bruce's figure blends in and out as I collapse in his arms.

If you're not a criminal and you're not a hero, what are you? A voice inside my head asks. I don't know, I answer it. I just hope Slade is preoccupied enough with the girl to leave the Titans alone.

"I have to save the Titans," I mumble as everything goes dark.

I should be happy, relieved. I should feel something other than the dread and fear that consumes me. The Titans are still in trouble and there isn't anything I can do about it. I lay on my side curling up into a ball. Bruce has rescued me. I'm home and for now, that was going to have to be enough.

A/N: I'm really happy with this even after my ranting on Tumblr. Feel free to follow me by the way. Anyway, I have a tenitive timeline for this story. Tune in next time for a hopefully Terra-centric chapter titled Fight Back.

Again, if anyone wants a rookie Beta I'm willing to be of service. Just send me a PM.

-Ana Uzumaki