**11/24/16 EDIT: The way some readers disliked my take on Clarke's jealousy in this story has moved me to make a few changes here and there simply to bring down the intensity of her reactions slightly. None of the actual storyline has not been changed, just a bit of dialogue.**
As most of their time spent together over the past several days had been, the journey from the hospital to Clarke's apartment was done in silence. They looked out separate windows from the back of the cab, with Lexa stealing a few glances over to Clarke just to make sure she wasn't experiencing any unnecessary pain during the drive. The results of her head scan had come back clear, and Abby had officially signed off on Clarke's release. To say she was still hesitant for her daughter to be heading home so soon after having sustained such serious injuries would have been an understatement, but she took comfort in knowing that Lexa had requested some personal time away from work so that she could stay with Clarke and care for her as she recovered. She knew how much Lexa loved her daughter, even if she'd never heard the girl come out and say it, and it provided Abby with enough peace of mind to allow her to not worry constantly about Clarke.
Wells had stopped by the hospital just as Lexa had begun to pack up her things. She had secretly been stalling for a while to make sure that Clarke would be able to see her close friend when he stopped by the hospital before leaving for his new job in Washington DC, and they shared a few tender moments together before he said goodbye for good. Octavia had promised that she and Lincoln would visit Clarke as soon as she got back home and was settled for the day. Lexa had suggested that they all have dinner together, if Clarke was up for it. When the cab pulled up to park in front of Clarke's apartment building, Lexa quickly exited the backseat to unpack the wheelchair she had been given by the hospital to use during Clarke's recovery.
Clarke had huffed and grunted from both the pain of her injuries and also from annoyance at the fact that she had to be pushed around in a wheelchair, but Lexa paid little attention to the small sounds of displeasure since she knew there was no way around a little discomfort in order to get her up and into her apartment. Clarke was the one, after all, who had wanted to come back home before her mother and several of the other doctors at the hospital thought she should. She let out a sigh after she'd settled into the wheelchair and was made to wait as Lexa pulled her purse and a small bag around each one of her shoulders. Clarke assumed that the bag was packed with a few days' worth of Lexa's clothes and various toiletries to use during her stay at the apartment with her, but of course she didn't know for sure because they still weren't actually talking other than when it was absolutely necessary.
The smell that greeted her when Lexa opened the front door of her apartment and pushed her inside was so enveloping that Clarke felt like she was literally standing in the middle of a field of flowers. It was well balanced throughout the room, and not once did Clarke feel that the aroma was too overbearing. It was perfect. Her eyes carefully scanned across her kitchen, dining area, and living room, and it was all too obvious that Lexa had already been there to tidy up. Her floors were immaculate, leading Clarke to believe that Lexa had actually mopped or even scrubbed them with how shiny they were, and there wasn't a single item of hers that was out of place around the apartment. She noticed a large purple candle in the middle of her dining room table that she knew wasn't hers, and just the simple fact that it was were pulled at her heart. Lexa had already done so much for her before she'd even stepped foot back into her apartment, and it was proving impossible to not appreciate it.
"Do you want me to bring you to your bedroom," Lexa broke the silence, "or would you rather stay out in the living room?"
"The bedroom is fine," Clarke answered before she swallowed and took another remorseful look around her apartment.
She almost had to stop herself from gasping when they reached the end of the hallway and slipped past the doorway into her bedroom. The bed had been made, the sheets peeking out from under her duvet looked crisp like they'd just been washed, and every surface of the room seemed to have been cleaned just like the rest of the apartment. There were a few new items carefully organized on her bedside table including a fresh box of tissues, several bottles of her pain medication and antibiotic prescriptions already filled, and small vase of yellow tulips that Abby had sent over earlier that morning. As they came up alongside her bed, Clarke noticed her television remote was resting just beside the flowers and her dresser which was usually cluttered with random pieces clothing and cosmetics had been completely cleared off, giving her an unobstructed view of her television.
"Are you ready?" Lexa asked as she held out her hands for Clarke to grab onto.
She simply placed her hands in Lexa's before they were gently tugging her up from the wheelchair and over toward the bed. It took a bit of work to get Clarke situated but when she was, Lexa stepped back and looked down to Clarke's legs. Clarke had no idea why Lexa looked so nervous, and she watched as Lexa shifted from one foot to the other before finally speaking what was on her mind.
"Did you want to be under the covers?" She asked as she motioned to the bed. "I didn't think to ask before."
"No, it's okay," Clarke answered lightly to which Lexa simply nodded.
Clarke watched as the brunette quickly walked around to her desk and retrieved a folded blanket that was lying on top of it, and her heart flip-flopped in her chest as Lexa carefully placed it onto the bed within easy reaching distance. She studied the facial expressions as they flashed across Lexa's face, but they remained in silence for another few seconds.
"Would you like me to make you something for lunch?" Lexa asked as she made eye contact with Clarke. It was past lunchtime after all, and Lexa's own stomach was beginning to churn with hunger.
"I'm not really that hungry," Clarke heard herself reply.
"Okay," Lexa replied and Clarke looked away.
She watched out of the corner of her eye as Lexa made her way back around to her left side and stepped in close towards the bed. She couldn't help but lift her eyes to look up at Lexa looking back down at her.
"I have some things I need to do for work," she told the blonde, "so I'll be in the living room. You can call me if you need anything."
Clarke nodded and held her breath as Lexa leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. A warm hand came up to cup her cheek, and Clarke closed her eyes as she tried not to let the tenderness of Lexa's touches make her break down into tears. She watched as Lexa tucked the wheelchair into the corner of the room before quietly disappearing and leaving Clarke in total silence. She looked around the room again, noticing for the first time that there was a small card propped up against the vase of flowers. She reached over and picked it up, tugging it quickly from the tiny purple envelope, and reading it.
Take care of yourself. And when you don't take care of yourself, let Lexa do it.
I love you,
Mom
Clarke rolled her eyes at the note, knowing that her mother wasn't totally wrong in assuming she wouldn't take as good of care of herself as she probably should, and stuffed it back into the envelope before setting it back on the table. She reached for the TV remote and flipped it on, spending a few minutes searching for an interesting show to watch. When she finally settled on something, she let her gaze wander around the room again and noticed that her laptop was missing from its usually spot on top of her desk. She groaned quietly as she realized it had probably been stolen the night of the attack and made a mental note to ask Lexa about it later. She had just left the bedroom a few minutes ago, and Clarke didn't want to be calling her back in already.
Lexa: Are you and Lincoln still coming over tonight?
Octavia: We were planning on it.
Lexa: Would you mind staying with Clarke for a few hours? I have something for work that I need to take care of, and I don't want to leave her alone.
Octavia: Sure... but a work thing? On a Sunday? Sounds suspect...
Lexa: Not suspect. Work thing.
Octavia: I'm just giving you shit. We should be over around 5pm.
Lexa: Perfect. See you then.
Lexa turned her attention away from her phone and found herself walking into the kitchen to make herself something for lunch. Clarke had been quick to refuse any food, and Lexa wasn't going to fight her on it. She would probably eat whatever Octavia and Lincoln were bringing for dinner when they came over later that evening, and Lexa wasn't going to waste her energy on trying to convince Clarke to eat before then. She'd seen that Clarke had eaten breakfast that morning, so it wasn't a complete stretch that she just wasn't hungry like she said. A simple sandwich was enough to curb Lexa's hunger, and she brought it over with her to the dining room table where she'd set her briefcase. She figured it was the best space in the apartment to set up her laptop and lay out her files when she needed to work on following up with the Porter case she'd involved herself with since just a couple of days ago.
The hours flew by as Lexa buried herself under research about Porter Holdings Group, Owner and CEO Edward Porter, Eva Porter, and all things Porter. Her eyes felt gritty after focusing so intensely for so long on reading article after article online, and she suddenly had the overwhelming desire to just rip out her contacts and wear her glasses for the rest of the night. She ultimately decided against it since she was going to be meeting up with Gustus's police friend who had agreed to meet with her about her case. Before she could get too wrapped up in any more of her research, Lexa heard a knock at the door. She quickly stood up to answer it, and found a smiling Octavia with a large pizza box propped on top of her shoulder as Lincoln held up a pack of beer behind her.
"Pizza and beer suppliers are here," Lincoln said with a smile as big as the one that was on his fiancée's face.
"Come on in," Lexa said as she stepped aside to let her friends pass.
"Where's Clarke?" Lincoln asked as he looked around the apartment.
"She's in her bedroom," Lexa said and suddenly realized that Clarke hadn't called her once in the time since they arrived at the apartment. "She's probably sleeping."
"Ah," Octavia answered. "Well, I'm cracking open this pizza whether she's joining us or not because I'm fucking starving."
Lexa rolled her eyes as she walked back to the dining room table to close down her laptop and pack up her things. She needed to head out within the next few minutes if she wanted to get to the police station on time.
"I'll let Clarke know you're here," Lexa said before motioning to the refrigerator, "help yourself to whatever."
Lexa walked quickly down the hallway and stepped through Clarke's bedroom doorway to see her sleeping just as she'd suspected. She stepped up to the bed and put her hand on Clarke's shoulder, shaking it gently. When that didn't seem to bring the blonde from her slumber, Lexa leaned forward a little closer and spoke softly.
"Clarke?"
Nothing.
"Clarke?" She asked, as she shook her gently again.
This time Clarke awoke with a jolt, surprising even Lexa, and she immediately groaned in agony as a sharp pain ripped through her chest when the sudden movement had caused her fractured ribs to ache. She gritted her teeth and breathed shallowly as she rode out the pain and waited for her heartbeat to return to a normal pace.
"I'm so sorry," Lexa apologized profusely, "I'm sorry."
"It's fine," Clarke answered through clenched teeth. She was in pain, but she knew Lexa hadn't purposefully startled her.
"I just wanted to let you know that Octavia and Lincoln are here," Lexa started, "and I wanted to check to see if you needed anything before I head out for a little bit."
"You're not staying?" Clarke heard herself ask and immediately regretted it.
"I have to meet someone for a work thing," Lexa explained vaguely.
Clarke couldn't help that one of her eyebrows raised in question, immediately wondering why the brunette wasn't offering her a hard answer. She didn't allow herself to jump to conclusions this time because, honestly, she was just too damn exhausted to get worked up about anything else at this point, so she let it go with a sigh and tried to push herself farther up the pillows she'd slowly collapsed on over the last few hours. She really needed to pee but figured that Octavia was just as capable of helping her into her bathroom as Lexa was, and she really would rather have Octavia help as long as she had the luxury to choose.
"Okay," Clarke finally replied and looked away from the brunette.
"I'll be back in a couple of hours," Lexa said.
Clarke simply nodded, and Lexa leaned forward to place a tender kiss at the corner of Clarke's jaw, careful not to touch anywhere near the large bruise on her cheek. Lexa pulled away just quick enough to see Clarke's eyes fluttered open, and her heart skipped a beat. She let a small smile curl one corner of her mouth upwards until Clarke quickly looked away to refocus her attention on the TV screen, and her smile disappeared. Without any more hesitation, Lexa turned and walked out of the room to grab her things before heading out. She let Octavia know that Clarke was awake and quickly left the apartment before she was late.
"Octavia! I have to pee!"
The brunette's mouth, that was currently full of a rather large bite of pizza, fell open and she sighed dramatically before huffing her way into Clarke's bedroom to help her to the bathroom.
"Lexa Woods?"
"Yes," Lexa confirmed as she stood up from her seat in the waiting room of the police department and walked towards the large man who had said her name.
"I believe we have a common friend in a man named Gustus," he said with a smile as he extended his hand in greeting.
"Okay, were we supposed to have some kind of code phrase because that sounded like something straight out of a spy movie," Lexa teased as she shook the man's hand.
He chuckled and ushered her through the doorway towards the back of the police station where she figured his desk was. They sat down opposite from each other, and Lexa put her purse down on the floor beside her. She took a moment to study the man in front of her. He was large, like Gustus, and it wasn't too difficult for her to imagine him as having once been a soldier. His police badge was clipped onto his belt, and he wore slacks and a dress shirt instead of a uniform which suggested that he most likely held a higher rank than patrol officer. His full dark beard, that was nicely kept, matched his dark brown eyes but the kindness in his face shone though. It wasn't until that moment that Lexa realized she didn't even know this man's name due to the fact that Gustus had arranged the meeting himself and only relayed the details of the time and place for the meeting. She searched his desk for a sign or plaque that might give her the information she was seeking, but she couldn't find anything.
"I'm sorry," Lexa started, "but I just realized that I don't even know your name."
"You can just call me Ryder," the man said with a smile before reaching into his desk drawer and pulling out a small card, "but here's all my info with my badge number so that you can scope me out, since I know you lawyer types have a tendency to be thorough."
"You've met a few in your day then, I see," Lexa replied with her own smile as she took the card and slipped it into her purse. There wasn't anything wrong with doing a little due diligence by looking up his professional records, and it was her job as a lawyer to do just that.
"So," Ryder said as he took a deep breath and leaned back into his chair, "Gustus tells me that you have a case that needs some special attention."
"Yes," Lexa confirmed.
"First off, let me just tell you that Gustus doesn't call in many favors," Ryder explained as his eyes narrowed. "Actually he's usually the one who gets called for favors, so when he asked me about this case... I knew it was something pretty important to him."
Lexa simply nodded in agreement but said nothing in response.
"So why don't you fill me in on the details," Ryder said as he flipped his file folder open and clicked the end of his pen.
Lexa spent the next ten minutes or so telling to him how this entire situation had come about, from gaining Eva Porter as a new client, to explaining how her family's company was corrupt and engaging in illicit activities, to how her assistant had tried to gain the upper hand by getting a hold of some damning evidence but ended up obtaining it illegally, to describing in detail the recent break-ins and Clarke's assault, and finally to how Lexa was hoping to connect Eva to all of this for once and for all.
"Alright," Ryder said as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "so knowing that you're a lawyer, I would have to assume that you have some kind of plan cooking in that head of yours."
"Actually, I do," Lexa stated as she sat up a little straighter in her chair. "If you'll notice on the missing property report I filled out that the last item listed was a bottle of beer."
Ryder flipped a few pages into his file and scanned the list until his eyes landed on the description of that very item. He nodded in agreement and waited for her to continue.
"I think that whoever broke into my apartment took that beer out of my fridge and drank it," Lexa said.
"And I suppose you want us to find that bottle," Ryder half-commented, half-questioned.
"That was part of the plan, yes," Lexa confirmed.
"So if we find the bottle, which could be in the middle of pretty much any landfill from here to the state line," Ryder started as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, "and if when we find it there's DNA evidence still present after being tossed into a dumpster and transported who knows how many miles, and if we can get a hit on that DNA in the system..."
"I know there's a lot of if's, but for all we know the bottle is still in a dumpster outside my apartment building," Lexa cut in.
"Mmm-hmmm," Ryder acknowledged as he nodded, "that's possible. But how do you think that will help you connect the break-in at your apartment to the break-in at your girlfriend's apartment?"
"Fingernail scrapings," Lexa answered confidently. "It's hospital protocol to collect biological trace evidence from anyone who is admitted to emergency room for an assault."
"Hmmm," Ryder responded while bobbing his head up and down.
"Now, there's another long-shot that falls within the equation," Lexa said hesitantly, "which is that Clarke thinks she heard two men in her apartment that night."
"So even if we are able to get DNA evidence from the beer bottle and DNA evidence from the fingernail scrapings, it might not be from the same perpetrator?" Ryder asked for confirmation.
"Right," Lexa said as her voice fell to a little louder than a whisper.
Ryder sighed loudly and laced his fingers together on top of his head and thought in silence for a few moments before looking back to Lexa and speaking.
"Normally I wouldn't devote any of my free time to a case with such high odds of panning out," he said as he watched Lexa's face fall. "But... this request is coming from Gustus... so I'll take a chance."
"Thank you," Lexa breathed out in a sigh of relief. "Honestly, thank you so much. I will help out however I can, just say the word."
"It sounds like you have a girlfriend to take care of," Ryder replied with a smirk, "so why you don't worry about her, and let us worry about dumpster diving."
Lexa chuckled and nodded her head in agreement.
"That didn't take as long as I thought it would, so do have a little more time for me?" Ryder asked.
"Of course," Lexa agreed immediately.
"As weird as it sounds," Ryder started, "I'd like to take down some information about the beer. That way we can later cross-check the details of the store it was sold in, the time and date and location of manufacturing against any information about the perpetrator if we're ever lead to arrest someone."
"Wow, okay," Lexa said in surprise at the impact a few numbers printed into cardboard could have in an investigation, "we can head over to my apartment right away."
Ryder nodded in agreement and stood from his chair before shrugging into his suit coat and following Lexa out of the police station. She sat in the front seat of his official police vehicle, and the ride to her apartment went by in the blink of an eye as they distracted themselves with more chatter about the case and the Porter company in general. When they got up to Lexa's apartment, it only took a few minutes for Ryder to write down all of the information he needed before snapping a few pictures of the six pack (minus one) on his cell phone for later reference if necessary. He offered Lexa a ride to Clarke's apartment, after she told him she was heading back there, and she graciously accepted knowing that she probably would have called a cab as it was getting late and she was getting tired.
"Thank you so much again for agreeing to take on this case," Lexa said as she opened the door after they had arrived at her destination. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."
"It's my pleasure, Miss Woods," Ryder said with a kind smile.
"If I'm calling you Ryder, then you can most certainly call me Lexa," she told him.
"Fair enough," he replied with a chuckle. "I'll keep in touch."
Lexa nodded before she hopped out of the car and headed into Clarke's apartment building. She suddenly had the overwhelming desire to crawl into bed and fall asleep in her girlfriend's arms, and she heard herself sigh with the realization that until Clarke was ready to talk things out with her that she wouldn't be falling asleep anywhere near her. She pulled out her keys and unlocked the front door before pushing it open to see Octavia, Lincoln and Clarke all sitting in the living room watching a movie.
"Hey, you're back," Octavia stated the obvious as she threw Lexa a lazy smile.
"Yeah," Lexa offered weakly as she waited to see if Clarke would turn her head to look at her. She probably wouldn't.
"She's out cold," Octavia said as if she could tell exactly what the brunette was hoping for just a moment before. "She took a pain pill after she ate a piece of pizza and then she crashed."
Lexa nodded as she deposited her purse on the kitchen counter top and headed over to the small bag she had brought with her from her own apartment. She dug through it until she found her sleep clothes, her glasses, and her contacts case.
"I'm just going to change really quick, but you guys are free to leave whenever you want," Lexa said as she walked towards the bathroom.
"The movie is almost over, so we'll leave after," Octavia answered quietly before turning her attention back to the screen.
The movie wrapped up about fifteen minutes after Lexa had reemerged from the bathroom, and Octavia offered to help Lexa get Clarke back into her bedroom. And by offering to help, Octavia actually meant that she would make her fiancé carry Clarke back into her bedroom, which he did with only a few sleepy protests from Clarke and a few words of caution from Lexa as she hovered behind him to make sure he didn't jostle her too much in his arms. Lexa thanked her friends for bringing dinner and for sitting with Clarke, and they assured her it was not a problem and that it was what friends were for.
They all hugged one other goodnight, and Lexa found herself back in Clarke's bedroom. She unfolded the blanket that she'd placed on the bed earlier and draped it carefully over Clarke's body, making sure it covered her feet and tucked snugly under her chin. She made a quick trip back out to the kitchen to fill a glass with water and set it on the bedside table before she sat down on the edge of the bed. Her eyes wandered over Clarke's face, a peaceful expression resting on it as she slept soundly. Lexa lifted her hand and carefully brushed a few clumps of hair away from Clarke's face before letting her fingertips dance along the smooth skin of her jaw and over her lips. She leaned down and placed a feather light kiss on Clarke's unbruised cheek before she heard herself whispering into the silence of the night.
"I love you."
She was sure Clarke didn't hear it, but she was even more sure she didn't care if she did.
Clarke woke with a rough groan that felt like it was ripping her throat apart as it filled the silence around her. She parted her lips with her tongue, greedily swiping it against her delicate skin in a fruitless effort to moisten her mouth. With a quick look to her side, she nearly shouted for joy when she saw a tall glass of water waiting there for her. She moved carefully but quickly and downed half of it before she realized she could barely breathe. After panting a few times and letting the oxygen fill her lungs once again, Clarke hastily drained the rest of the water from the glass and placed it back down onto the table with a small thud. She closed her eyes, knowing sleep had left her for the time being but relaxed into her bed as she slowly regained the strength of all her senses.
"Morning," Lexa said hesitantly from the doorway of Clarke's bedroom, and Clarke just rubbed her eyes. "Are you hungry?"
Clarke had contemplated saying 'no' but realized if she never said 'yes' that she would probably end up starving to death since Lexa was going to be the one feeding her for at least the next week, possibly two. Her stomach also felt the need to respond contrary to her wishes and grumbled loudly into the morning calm. Clarke said nothing as she eyed Lexa, silently offering her agreement without actually saying anything. Lexa nodded and smirked the tiniest smirk before she turned and disappeared from where she'd been standing in the doorway. Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed, slightly wincing as her ribs ached in pain from the generous breath she'd just taken into her lungs.
It was about fifteen minutes later that Lexa returned to Clarke's bedroom, carrying a plate of food and a tall glass of milk. The TV was on, and Clarke was only barely paying attention to the show currently playing while she subtly eyed the food being brought up to her. It was one of the most perfect looking omelets Clarke had ever seen in her life, folded expertly in half with a picture-worthy ooze of cheese sprinkled with tiny cubes of ham spilling out from the open side. There were a few pieces of fresh cut fruit and a lightly buttered piece of bread toasted to golden perfection on the plate as well. Clarke sighed in defeat as she was slowly but surely coming to the realization that everything about Lexa, even her stupid delicious looking omelets, were perfect. They were just fucking perfect.
She pushed herself up into a sitting position, disregarding how the pain from her ribs shot through her chest as she did so, and accepted the plate into her lap. Lexa set Clarke's milk down and scooped up the empty water glass before extending a fork and napkin in front of her body. Clarke took them both sheepishly and set the napkin beside her, as she lightly gripped the fork in her left hand.
"Thanks."
It was barely a whisper, but it was enough. Lexa smiled and nodded and told Clarke to call her if she needed anything else. The moment Lexa disappeared from her bedroom again was the moment Clarke dug into her food. She'd fallen asleep after only one slice of pizza the night before, and she could barely contain her hunger pains as they made her stomach feel awful things. The fluffy eggs, melty cheese, and salty ham were like heaven in her mouth, and she followed bites with more bites until the omelet was gone, not that it stopped her from picking at the spilled cheese on her plate with her fork and greedily sucking each prong clean. She buzzed through the piece of toast and even ate the fruit, enjoying the crisp sweetness against the inside of her scorching mouth. The cold milk washed everything down quite adequately, but she managed to remember to save about half the glass for her pills. She had a few different ones to take, but it wasn't long before she had gathered them all in the palm of her hand and tossed them into her mouth. She set down her now empty glass and scooted herself back down into a more reclined position and not before long, she was slipping back off to sleep as the TV hummed quietly in the background.
When she finally woke again, she noticed her breakfast dishes were gone, and a new glass of water had been placed on her bedside table. She maybe would have possibly let herself appreciate Lexa's kind gestures if the sight of the water hadn't made her bladder literally (okay figuratively) jump so that all she could think about was making a mad dash to the bathroom. She reached for her phone to text Lexa for help, but didn't even get the screen unlocked before Lexa was standing in the doorway. She remained there until Clarke whipped the blanket off of her legs and muttered desperately.
"Need to pee."
Lexa propelled herself into the room, bringing the wheelchair up to the bed and helping Clarke get into it. If it wasn't for her fractured ribs, Clarke thought she would be able to hop her way the short distance to her bathroom, but sadly that was not the case. She barely made it to the toilet on time, struggling by herself as she refused to let Lexa help her go to the bathroom, but felt exponentially better as soon as she was finished. She took her own initiative to start the water in the tub and undress herself, not having mentioned to Lexa that she was desperate to take a bath, and she wasn't surprised in the least when she heard a quiet knock on the door a few seconds later.
"Can I help you get into the tub?" Lexa asked after she nudged the door open just wide enough to let her voice carry through the crack.
Clarke wanted to say no, she wanted to, but the reality that she would be able to lower herself into the bathtub with a broken ankle and two cracked ribs was practically laughable. Before she could even register the sound coming from her mouth, she had agreed.
"Sure."
Lexa walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She looked Clarke directly in the eyes, despite the fact that Clarke was completely naked in front of her, and stepped up to her. The sincerity and steadfastness of her gaze left Clarke a little weak in the knees, and she silently wondered how someone could be so damn respectful all the time. Clarke bit back a shudder when she felt Lexa's cool hand land on her waist as another gripped her hand, and she let herself be slowly and gently lead to step up over the side of the bathtub. She purposefully kept her right foot on the rug outside the tub, knowing that she couldn't submerge it into the water. Lexa's grip around her waist tightened ever-so-slightly as Clarke began to lower herself down into the rising water.
When her backside finally connected with the smooth bottom of the bathtub, Clarke let out a sigh and leaned back to recline fully. Lexa quickly adjusted the temperature, testing it with her own fingers as it gushed from the faucet before standing up to pull body wash and shampoo down from the white wire shelves hanging from the shower head above. She placed them on the edge of the tub and retrieved a fresh towel from the cabinet, lying it on the counter top of the bathroom vanity. She continuously checked the temperature of the water as it filled the tub, busying herself with anything that would keep her eyes away from shamefully drinking in Clarke's nakedness. When the water had reached its limit, Lexa shut it off and stood with her back towards Clarke.
"Just call me if you need anything," she said over her shoulder and dismissed herself from the bathroom.
Clarke immediately reached for the bottle of body wash, and her eyes snapped up to her loofah still hanging from the wire shelving above. Before she could even let out a sigh of discontent, Lexa was pushing the bathroom door back open and reaching for it like she had been reading her thoughts. Clarke's eyes widened just slightly as Lexa sheepishly lowered it towards Clarke, keeping her green eyes steadily trained on the puffy mesh object.
"Sorry, I... forgot about this," she said in something just louder than a whisper and snapped her eyes to Clarke's before it was gently being taken from her hand, and she turned to leave the bathroom once again.
After hearing the door click shut, Clarke let her arm drop back under the water as she pulled the loofah with it and reached for the bottle of body wash once again. She worked up a more than generous amount of suds and started to work the soap into her skin, silently reveling in the feeling of washing away several days' worth of grime. She finished her work with the loofah and rinsed it out before lying back for a moment to rest. She cracked her eye open and turned her head to the side as she noticed her razor sitting in the corner edge of the tub. She reached for it and swiped it under her arms a few times before popping the cover back on and setting it back in its place.
After a short pause, Clarke looked over to her shampoo and frowned. She wanted to wash her hair more than anything else, but wanting to and actually being able to were two entirely different things. She knew it would be hard enough to raise her hands above her head to lather her hair with shampoo, considering her injured ribs, let alone being able to get her hair wet and rinse it out. She contemplated for a few more seconds about how much she actually wanted to wash her hair and finally decided to concede for the first time and ask Lexa for her help.
"Lexa?"
"Yes?"
Clarke stitched her eyebrows together and looked over at the door. The sheer speed of Lexa's response was enough to make Clarke wonder if she had just been camped outside the bathroom door this entire time, but it was also the height at which her voice sounded on the other side of the door that make Clarke wonder even more. She pictured Lexa sitting on the floor, resting her back against the wall, just waiting and listening for any indication that she needed help. For the second time in the last two days, she felt her heart being pulled at.
"Can you help me with my hair?"
Lexa didn't answer other than opening the door and walking around it quickly. She pushed it closed with a click and let her eyes find Clarke's. The logistics of the task at hand made Lexa pause as she realized that she probably needed something to scoop water into so that she could properly soak and rinse her girlfriend's hair without having to have her lean forward or backwards in the tub.
"I should go get a cup or something," Lexa finally blurted out.
Clarke nodded in agreement, and Lexa was out of the bathroom like a flash of lightening. It was only a few moments later that she reemerged with a large plastic cup in her hand, and she made sure to close the door behind her before stepping up to the tub and kneeling onto the soft rug covering the hard tile floor. She looked at Clarke hesitantly before she made a single move, and she watched as Clarke swallowed before she sat up and shimmied herself towards the middle of the tub so that Lexa could easily get to her hair without having to worry about pouring water against the back edge of the bathtub.
Lexa finally moved to dip her hand and the cup below the water and bring it up to the back of Clarke's head. She used her free hand to gently lift and drop large sections of Clarke's hair so that the water could properly saturate it. As soon as the shade of blonde hair that Lexa had grown to love had darkened completely, Lexa reached over to the shampoo and squeezed a small amount into her hand. She spread it between her palms a few times, working it up into a thick later, and raised her hands to Clarke's hair. She massaged the shampoo gently until her entire head was coated with a layer of suds. She worked her fingers down the length of the sopping blonde tresses, being sure to wash every piece of hair on Clarke's head. When she was satisfied with her work, Lexa quickly dipped her hands under the water to rinse away the shampoo on them before grabbing the cup and beginning to fill it with water just to let it empty on Clarke's hair and down her back.
Lexa scolded herself as she realized her eyes had wandered across the curve of Clarke's side to the perfect swell of her backside, and she blinked a few times after snapping her eyes back up to focus on the bubbles that were slowly disappearing from blonde hair and being dragged down her body as each sheet of water cascaded down from the cup. Lexa swallowed thickly as images of bubbles sliding down altogether different parts of Clarke's body swirled in her mind, and she felt the heat of her blush as it rose up her cheeks. She hoped that Clarke wouldn't take this moment to look up at her, feeling mortified that she was physically reacting from helping to wash her injured girlfriend's hair in the bathtub. With a few violent blinks and a small shake of her head, Lexa managed to clear her thoughts and calm her flush as she finished rinsing Clarke's hair from all the remaining shampoo residue.
"Are you ready to get out?" Lexa asked after she had placed the cup back down onto the edge of the tub.
"Yeah," Clarke said softly, and her eyes fluttered shut as Lexa reached over to wring the excess water from her hair before standing up and reaching down for her hands.
Clarke tightly grasped Lexa's hands and pulled herself to her feet slowly as to not slosh the water in the tub too much. She swallowed as Lexa's hands released hers and watched as the brunette reached for the towel resting on the counter top. Lexa unfolded it quickly, letting it hang from her right hand as she slowly encircled Clarke with her arms and brought the towel around to the back of her body. She absentmindedly flicked her gaze down to Clarke's lips as she drew the edges of the towel together around Clarke's front. Her head was swimming as the scent of Clarke's shampoo filled her nose, and the feeling of Clarke's warm body and damp skin so close to her was making her pulse quicken with every second that passed.
She was snapped out of her gaze when she felt Clarke's hand come up to grasp the corners of the towel against her chest, and Lexa quickly moved herself to help Clarke climb out of the tub. As she stood on the rug, Clarke couldn't help but steal another glance up at Lexa who seemed to be having just as much trouble regulating her breathing as Clarke was at that moment. Their eyes met and then quickly darted away from each other, and it was only then that Lexa realized she was standing squarely in front of Clarke with her arms wrapped protectively around her waist.
"I, um..." Lexa stuttered as she made no attempt to move, "should I... do you need me to..."
"I can do it," Clarke whispered as she tried desperately not to let her eyes settle on Lexa's lips.
With a small nod of understanding, Lexa let her hands fall from Clarke and took a step back. She muttered something about going to get some clean clothes and disappeared from the bathroom. It took all of Clarke's strength to dry herself without aggravating her injuries too much, and she ached with pain by the time she was finally dry. She wrapped the towel back around her body before Lexa knocked on the door, and asked her as quickly as possible for help getting her clothes on.
Without a single word, Lexa took the fresh pair of underwear in her hands and stooped down to let Clarke lean her hands on top of her shoulders for support as she carefully threaded Clarke's legs into the soft fabric, quickly pulling the panties up into place underneath the towel still wrapped around Clarke's body. The same method was used for the thick pair of sweatpants Lexa had brought in, but Clarke dropped her towel when they got to the t-shirt. Lexa, being the ever-respectful gentlewoman she is, restricted her gaze from wandering over the perfect curves she was dying to ogle and paid all of her attention to getting Clarke fully covered up.
The short journey back to Clarke's bed went relatively smoothly, and it wasn't before long that Clarke was sinking down into her blankets and pillows once again. She popped a couple of pain pills and turned her attention back towards the TV, knowing that it wouldn't be long before she lost herself to sleep again. Lexa asked her if she needed anything else, to which Clarke replied no, and Lexa retreated into the dining room for the rest of the day and evening as she buried herself in more research on Eva Porter and the Porter Holdings Group case.
"I thought you were taking time off of work," Abby said as she stood in the doorway of Clarke's apartment after Lexa had pulled the door open for her.
Lexa looked over her shoulder to follow Abby's gaze to where her laptop and file folders were spread across the entire surface of Clarke's dining room table. It wasn't technically work, since she had taken her personal time which her boss told her he had no problem with, but rather it was all of the research and notes she'd been taking about her own case. After Ryder had agreed to help her, Lexa began devoting all of her free time to gather as much information as she could that might help them catch a break in the case.
"I am," Lexa replied as she looked back towards Abby. "I know it doesn't look like it, but I am."
"Alright," Abby said wearily as she stepped into the apartment. "How is Clarke doing? I know when I ask her, she will probably just lie and say she is fine."
"She's... managing," Lexa settled on. "She hasn't been very talkative towards me the past few days, but I can tell she is still in pain."
"Well, good thing I brought her some more pain meds then," Abby said as she held up a small white paper bag in her hand.
"She should be awake still," Lexa said as she motioned towards the bedroom, and Abby simply nodded.
"And everything's going okay with you?" Abby asked as she put her hand on Lexa's forearm, noticing that the brunette looked quite fatigued.
"I'm keeping busy," Lexa replied as she nodded back towards her work in the dining room.
"Just don't work yourself too hard," Abby sincerely told her. "Doctors make the worst patients, so I'm sure your hands are already full."
Lexa smiled and let a barely audible chuckle fall from her lips in response.
"If you need any more help with her, just let me know," Abby said as she pulled her hand away after giving Lexa's arm a small squeeze.
"Thanks, Abby," Lexa replied.
They shared a small smile before Abby made her way towards Clarke's bedroom.
"Hey, sweetie," Abby said with a smile as she saw her daughter sitting up in her bed.
"Hey, Mom," Clarke softly responded as she moved to readjust her position just slightly.
"I was just giving Lexa the low-down on how doctors make lousy patients," Abby said as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Are you living up to that standard?"
"Probably," Clarke grumbled without hesitation.
"Go easy on her, Clarke," Abby said as she shook her head lightly. "She's just trying to take care of you."
"It's complicated, Mom," Clarke said with a sigh.
"What's complicated?" Abby asked.
"Nothing, I... just don't really want to get into it," Clarke said dismissively. "How are things going at the hospital?"
"It's been about two seconds from falling apart since you've been out," Abby half-teased and half-stated, "but we're managing."
Clarke offered a single nod, knowing that her mother was not only trying to make her feel better but also trying to convey just how important she was to the hospital. Even for her young age, Clarke was revered as one of the most talented surgeons at the hospital and they respected her as such. Abby made a move from the edge of the bed, and within a few seconds she was sitting against the headboard right beside Clarke.
"How is Marcus?"
Abby's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the question, thinking it would have been the last thing she would have expected Clarke to ask her about while she was there.
"He's good actually," Abby replied quickly before adding, "and thanks for that segue because there's something I wanted to talk to you about."
Clarke turned her head towards her mother and lifted one of her eyebrows, remaining silent as she waited for her mother to continue.
"I was hoping you would be okay with me bringing Marcus to Lincoln and Octavia's wedding as my plus one," Abby said as she held eye contact with Clarke.
"He's your boyfriend, right?" Clarke asked. "I'd think that you would want to bring him no matter what I think..."
"No," Abby started slowly. "First of all, Marcus is not my boyfriend. And secondly, it does matter what you think. That's why I asked you what you thought."
"Look, Mom," Clarke said, "if you're asking for my permission or something, then just take it. You can be with whoever you want now that Dad's gone."
Abby's expression fell as Clarke paused before speaking up again.
"Plus, Marcus is a great guy," Clarke finished.
"He is," Abby replied quietly.
"But... I don't know... " Clarke hesitated after a few seconds of silence. "Aren't you ever scared?"
"Scared?" Abby wondered out loud. "Scared of what?"
"That he might leave?" Clarke clarified as she caught her mother's concerned gaze. "Aren't you scared that... you'll invest so much of your time and give away your heart... only to have to try and pick up enough of the pieces to give it away to someone else later?"
"Clarke, you can't–" Abby cut herself off before rewording, "we can't let what happened with your father decide the fate of the rest of our relationships," Abby said as she shook her head meaningfully.
"I don't think I'm as strong as you," Clarke replied softly as she reflected back on the last few weeks of her life. "I just can't–I just... it's just so risky."
"Yeah, it's risky," Abby agreed as she moved to set one of her hands gently on Clarke's knee. "But is it worth it?"
Clarke blinked a few times as she let the question roll around in her head. She felt her mother give her leg a small squeeze, and they sat in silence before turning their attention to the television.
Lexa had been giving Clarke and Abby their space and had remained in the dining room the entire time they were in the bedroom together. Lexa knew Clarke probably needed a bit of healthy conversation, and she was secretly hoping that Abby might pick up on whatever it was that was bothering Clarke and talk to her about it. She carelessly flicked through internet articles to keep her mind off of what the two women may or may not have been talking about until she was broken from her thoughts by the vibration of her cell phone. Lexa scrunched her eyebrows as she looked to see the screen on her phone show an unknown incoming call, but she quickly swiped her finger over the screen to accept it without further hesitation.
"Lexa Woods," she answered in her most professional voice.
"Lexa..."
Fuck.
"... it's Eva."
Fucking fuck.
Lexa jolted straight up in her seat when she heard the familiar voice carry over into her ear from the other line, and her heart began pumping wildly as her mind raced to figure out what in the hell she was going to say to Eva, the very reason (she was 99% sure) why Clarke was lying in her bedroom recovering from injuries and why Clarke's apartment and her own had been broken into recently. She swallowed a few times but wasn't able to formulate a response before Eva was speaking again.
"Lexa?"
"Miss... Porter..." Lexa barely managed to get out.
"So I was contacted by your assistant last week who informed me that you flew home for a family emergency. And, well, while I'm sympathetic to whatever family situation you might have going on at the moment, I was quite surprised that you hadn't tried to get into contact with me personally."
"Well," Lexa began as she tried to choose just the right words, "if you were sympathetic about my emergency, then you would have understood that I haven't had the time reach out to any of my clients for the last several days. Aden is more than capable of getting you into contact with another attorney at the firm to help you in whatever way you need."
Lexa hoped that she had come off as professional yet stern. She didn't want to, no, she couldn't afford to have Eva catch on to the fact that Lexa suspected her of being involved with the very family emergency she had to excuse herself from Washington DC for. Who knows what else this woman would be capable of if she knew too much?
"I understand that, Lexa, I do. But I thought our relationship was more than just a working one. Quite frankly I was surprised that you hadn't called me directly to let me know about your family emergency."
Was she serious? Was she actually being serious? Lexa's mouth fell open as she took in her client's words for what they really implied. Either she was so dense to think that she and Lexa actually had something more than a business relationship with one another, or she was somehow trying to weasel information from Lexa about said emergency with playing off the disillusion that they were closer than Lexa had actually considered them to be. It wasn't until that very moment that Lexa really began to see just how dangerous and manipulative Eva Porter actually was.
Suddenly Lexa's blood was boiling beneath her skin, and her body began to tremble with an intensity she'd never felt before. She wanted to scream and yell and curse the woman on the phone for implying such a perverse idea of the nature of their relationship. She wanted to call her out for using such a low and dirty way of gleaning information from a person who was in such a delicate and vulnerable position being in the middle of dealing with a family crisis. She wanted to somehow reach her body through the phone just to land a bone-crushing punch to that perfectly polished face of hers, but even if she were able to all of those things and more it wouldn't drive the point across better than being able to deliver her a taste of her own medicine. If not now, in the future. So Lexa made herself take a deep breath and steady her trembling voice to reply.
"Miss Porter, I respect our working relationship," Lexa began, "and I've tried to make myself clear that all I desire from you is a working relationship. Nothing more. I appreciate your concern, but I would appreciate it even more if you would respect my time and my privacy away from my clients while I handle my family."
There was a poignant pause on the other end of the line, and Lexa waited silently with her eyes closed for a response.
"Family is important, Lexa... I was simply under the impression that I would be someone you could inform directly if had needed to fly home for a family responsibility."
'Never once have I confided in her, so what the hell would make her think that I would confide in her now of all times?' Lexa thought after she had heard what the other woman had said to her.
"I didn't mean to mislead you," Lexa answered politely, as difficult as it was for her. "I do trust that you can find more than adequate assistance from another attorney at the firm for all your business needs until I return to work."
"Very well."
"Take care, Miss Porter," Lexa said and heard the line disconnect. Lexa sighed and dropped her phone to the dining room table with a thud as she closed her eyes and tipped her head towards the ceiling.
"What's got you sighing at the ceiling?" Abby asked, snapping the brunette's eyes open and her attention away from her thoughts.
"Oh, I just... had to deal with a client... who didn't know I was taking personal time away from the office," Lexa finally managed to get out.
It was only a half-lie, right?
"Hmm," Abby hummed as she nodded shallowly, "You are one hell of a good lawyer if your clients can't function with you away from the office for a couple of days."
"Or they're just really persistent clients," Lexa replied in a mumble as she stood from her seat at the dining room table. Abby eyed her for a few seconds before speaking.
"I think it's the first one," she said with a small smile as she moved towards the door, and Lexa forced a smile of her own in return. "Anyways, I should get going."
"Thanks for stopping by," Lexa said honestly as she walked over towards the older woman. "I'm sure you were able to lift her spirits, even if she didn't tell you as much."
"I hope so," Abby replied, knowing that there was definitely something going on between Lexa and her daughter even though neither of them were saying it directly.
Lexa smiled weakly and waited as Abby turned the door handle to leave.
"Oh," Abby said as she stepped through the door and into the apartment hallway, "I helped her to the bathroom, so she should be good for a while."
"Thanks," Lexa replied with another small smile.
"Get some rest," Abby said finally as she started walking away, pointing her index finger at the brunette.
"I will," Lexa simply said as she watched Abby retreat for a moment before closing the door and returning to her laptop to continue her research.
Clarke was screaming as her body remained still, contradictory to the intense panic that she felt coursing through her veins. Her muscles pulsated under each of the points on her body that the man straddling her was touching. The skin on her face itched as thick red blood poured steadily from her nose, her mouth, her eyes, and her ears. She could hear her heartbeat pounding her eardrums in a rhythm she couldn't discern. It was contrary to every normal pulse she had ever listened to from the bell of a stethoscope, and her desperate need for it to even out was making it oscillate even more erratically.
As time around her slowed, she tried to peer into the eyes of her attacker only to be met with a mane of dark brunette hair wafting gently in front of her face. The stringy ends tickled her face and a few strands dipped into her blood, painting them red like an artist's brush as they worked on creating a masterpiece. Her eyes drifted to the left, and she watched as a hooded figure came into view. The field of her vision began to blur as splotches of red began to veil her view, finally filling everything so she was looking out into a sea of her own blood.
As the hooded figure drew closer, Clarke squinted her eyes in a desperate attempt to squeeze out the crimson so that she could focus on the figure that was now towering over her as the man still pinned her down. She gasped desperately for air, unable to let any of her breaths fill up her lungs, and as the hood fell from the face of the figure looming above Clarke suddenly was able to see in a shade other than red. Piercing back at her were eyes of green, situated perfectly on a face she knew. Soft brunette curls framed the strong jawline she had once caressed with her fingers and kissed with her lips, and before she could register the sound of laughter she watched in horror as the very jaw she had grown so familiar with cracked open with a devilish smile. She tried to cry out, to tell her to stop laughing, to lash out at her to make her stop, but nothing Clarke could tell her body to do was happening. Instead she felt the spirit of herself thrashing wildly inside of the prison of her own body, screaming, crying, calling out for help until...
Clarke jolted awake and gasped in the biggest gulp of air her lungs had ever attempted to take. Her heart hammered in her chest, and she winced as the dull pain from her injured ribs pushed itself onto her senses with each ragged breath she drew in and pushed out. A nightmare. It had only been a nightmare. Clarke swallowed thickly and looked to her bedside table to see a tall glass of water waiting for her as one had all the previous mornings since she had been home. She took a few gulps and set it down gently before taking out her phone and checking the time. She almost choked on her shock when she saw it was after noon.
"Morning," Lexa softly said from the doorway of Clarke's bedroom.
"Afternoon," Clarke corrected as she set her phone back down beside her.
"I suppose it is," Lexa said with a small smirk before walking into the bedroom and sitting on the side of the bed. "Do you need to... should I help you to the bathroom?"
"Yeah," Clarke simply replied as she tossed the covers away from her body. Lexa made a move towards the wheelchair tucked into the corner of the bedroom, but Clarke stopped her. "I think I can walk."
"Are you sure?" Lexa asked unconvinced.
"Yeah," Clarke answered and pushed herself into a sitting position. "My ribs are feeling better each day."
Lexa said nothing in response, grabbing the pair of crutches that had been propped up against the wall for the last few days. She leaned them against the side of the bed before reaching down to pull Clarke up into a standing position. Clarke wobbled a bit at first, not wanting to put any weight on her broken ankle, but steadied herself against Lexa before reaching for the crutches. They limped along slowly until Clarke reached the bathroom door and looked back at Lexa.
"I'd like to take a bath," she said quietly.
"Okay," Lexa answered, "just let me know when you're ready."
Clarke nodded and disappeared behind the bathroom door. Lexa was called in about five minutes later, and they fell into the same routine they had made the first time Clarke had attempted a bath. Lexa was, in all outward appearances, a perfect gentlewoman and helped Clarke wash her hair, fetched her clean clothes, and helped redress her before following the blonde out of the bathroom and towards the living room where she had stated she'd like to spend the afternoon. Lexa was quick to agree to her request and stacked some extra pillows and a blanket on the couch next to Clarke. She situated herself into a seated position with her broken ankle propped up on the coffee table atop a bed pillow Lexa brought out from her bedroom.
Lexa had asked Clarke whether she was ready for lunch or not, and Clarke informed her (with no more than one word) that she was. Lexa decided to make her favorite homemade soup recipe and got to work on it immediately. The first thing she did was pull out pot large enough to hold all of the ingredients for the soup with some spare room to stir occasionally as it simmered. The brunette silently praised herself for having pre-cooked a few chicken breasts the previous day, knowing that she would need them for the soup eventually and wanting to be prepared to simply throw everything together without having to wait for the chicken to actually bake in the oven. She turned her attention to the fridge and pulled out a bag of fresh broccoli florets, a bundle of whole carrots, some fresh peas, a stalk of celery, and a small bundle of parsley. An onion and a few cloves of garlic from the produce bowl on Clarke's countertop joined the other vegetables near the cutting board.
After a few minutes, the chicken had been shredded and plopped into the pot along with broth and several other seasonings Lexa sprinkled in without so much as measuring them out since she had made this soup so many times before. Her knife went to work peeling, chopping, slicing, and dicing the vegetables until enough had been prepped to be added to the soup. After everything had been stirred together, Lexa went to work cleaning up the waste from the counter top and sponging down all of the surfaces that she had just dirtied. Lexa managed to busy herself in the kitchen while the soup simmered for the next twenty minutes, not sure if Clarke would have wanted her to sit down and join her in front of the television.
When the broccoli tenderness test had passed Lexa's scrutiny, she retrieved two bowls from the cabinets and filled each with a few healthy ladle-fuls of steaming soup. She delivered Clarke's bowl to her first, followed by a tall glass of milk that the blonde had requested that she set on the small table beside the couch. Lexa moved towards the dining room to eat her own bowl of soup there but was delighted when Clarke quietly said it would be fine for Lexa to sit on the couch if she wanted to. Lexa settled her legs underneath her and stole a glace over at Clarke as she watched the blonde blow over the first spoonful of her soup before slipping it past her lips. She couldn't help the smile that sprung to her face as she watched Clarke's eyelids flutter shut as she chewed, happy that her homemade meal was being appreciated albeit silently. They ate without speaking, and Lexa found herself still sitting on the couch a couple hours later as they continued to let their attention be captivated by the television. That was until Lexa's phone began to vibrate. She shot up from the couch and was able to answer the call within a matter of seconds.
"Hello?"
"Lexa, it's Ryder. Do you have a minute to talk?"
"Of course," Lexa said as she moved towards the front door of the apartment and slipped out of earshot from Clarke.
Lexa still didn't want to burden Clarke with the information that her apartment had also been broken into, and Lexa certainly didn't want to stress her out telling her that she had involved herself in Clarke's assault case. She wasn't sure Clarke's frame of mind about the whole attack and didn't want to irritate any feelings of fear or make her remember the night if she didn't have to.
"Do you have an update?" Lexa asked when she got into the hallway, safely away from Clarke's earshot.
"Do I ever..."
Lexa felt her insides jump with excitement and anticipation of whatever Ryder was about to tell her regarding their case.
"My guys just called to tell me that they found the beer bottle."
"Are you serious?" Lexa heard herself ask. It had only been a few days since she'd met with him and he'd agreed to take a closer look into her case, so she was stunned that they had been able to make progress in such a short amount of time.
"Yeah, that was my reaction too. It's not very often that a search at a landfill turns up something this quickly."
"How were–how did you even know where to look?" Lexa asked, genuinely curious.
"We were able to get your building's waste disposal schedule from the landlord and checked it against the landfill's location map of their dump sites. They showed us the specific square that was designated for dumping on that particular week for all trucks that picked up in the area your apartment building was included. So we ran a grid search of the dump site and found the bottle loose, not in a trash bag of any sort."
"Okay," Lexa replied, not sure why that small fact was important.
"It's likely that the perpetrator finished drinking it on his way down from your apartment and either threw it down one of the trash chutes in the hallway or tossed it directly into one of the dumpsters at the back of the building where there just so happens to be a security camera that records in that direction twenty-four hours a day."
Lexa's eyebrows raised, but she didn't say anything to interrupt.
"So we're combing through the footage now for any shots of the perpetrator or perpetrators so that we can hopefully get a physical description."
"That's just... unbelievable," Lexa finally replied breathlessly. "I–I don't even... I'm just shocked..."
"You know, Lexa, if you ever want to get out of the law business you'd probably have a bright future as a detective."
"I don't know about that," Lexa replied as she scoffed out a small laugh.
"Well, it's just something to think about."
"So how long will it take to run a DNA test on the bottle?" Lexa asked.
"Assuming there's DNA still left on the bottle to be tested, it could take anywhere between a few days and a few weeks."
"Oh," Lexa replied as her heart dropped. "I see."
"But let's just say that I owe Gustus one too many, so I made sure to let everyone at the lab know that we need a rush on the results."
"Well, I guess it pays to know drivers in the right places," Lexa offered in reference to Gustus.
Ryder chuckled on the other end of the line, and Lexa's heart immediately lightened. She was searching her mind for something more than a simple 'thank you' that could accurately express the level of gratitude she was feeling but couldn't manage to come up with anything better.
"Thank you," she said with a tone of sincerity. "I honestly can't tell you how much I appreciate your help."
"If there's anything I can do to bring a couple scumbags to justice, you bet your ass I'm going to do it."
Lexa laughed lightly, and she heard the detective (which she had discovered was his rank through her due diligence research on him) chuckle in response.
"I should be getting back to work, but I just wanted to call and update you on what we have so far. I'll be sure to contact you once we have something to report on the results of the lab tests."
"That sounds perfect," Lexa replied. "Thank you so much again."
They said they goodbyes, and Lexa ended the call with a happy sigh of relief. She pushed herself away from the wall she'd been resting her back against and made her way back over to Clarke's apartment door before quickly pushing it open and stepping inside. Clarke was still watching TV and didn't make any move to look up as Lexa walked into the living room. She bent over to scoop up their empty soup bowls from lunch hours earlier and brought them into the kitchen where she cleaned them out and placed them into the sink to dry.
"Clarke?" Lexa asked suddenly from where she was still standing in the kitchen.
Clarke said nothing but raised her eyes to look over at Lexa as if to let her know she was listening.
"Would you be alright if I left for about an hour?" Lexa asked carefully.
She wanted to meet with Bellamy to tell him about everything that was going on now that she had received an update from Ryder, and she knew it would be easier to meet with him in person rather than trying to tell him everything over the phone. There was a lot they had to go over since they hadn't talked about the case with one another yet. What she didn't know was that when she'd asked Clarke her question, Clarke's heart had dropped in her chest.
"Yeah," Clarke replied as calmly as possible. "I'll probably just take a nap."
Lexa nodded and reached over to grab her phone from the kitchen counter top and quickly type out a text message to Bellamy.
Lexa: Can we meet to discuss the case tonight?
Bellamy: Absolutely. Name the time and the place.
Lexa: Coffee shop on third in fifteen minutes.
Bellamy: I'll be there.
Lexa nodded her head once in approval as she read Bellamy's last text message and quickly walked over to the dining room table to gather all of her papers and files and notebooks to shove them into her briefcase before closing her laptop and moving back over to Clarke. She asked whether she needed help getting to the bathroom before she left, and Clarke declined the offer with another one of her regular one-word answers. She grabbed the rest of her things and headed out the door, leaving Clarke alone with her thoughts about where the brunette was going and who she was meeting when she got there.
"Hi," Bellamy said and straightened his back as he watched Lexa approach his table.
"Hey," Lexa offered before setting her briefcase down and taking a seat opposite him. They sat for a few moments in silence before Bellamy finally spoke up.
"So, Aden huh?" Bellamy asked awkwardly.
"Yeah, we had a little chat a few days ago," Lexa replied with a sigh.
She knew her assistant had just been acting out of protectiveness over her, so she could hardly fault him for it. But unfortunately his involvement in the Eva Porter case ended up opening a giant can of worms that he was no longer able to handle closing back up on his own, which is why Lexa had decided to step in. She absentmindedly straightened the sleeves on her shirt before speaking again.
"I was definitely shocked when he told me about your role in a case that involved one of my clients," Lexa confessed.
"It's a small world," he simply replied.
"It's a tiny world with someone like Eva Porter poking her head around every corner of my life," Lexa said in a sigh as she pulled a hand through her hair. "Anyways, after I heard the whole story and realized that all the evidence Aden and his roommate got wouldn't be admissible in court, I involved myself a little deeper."
"Okay," Bellamy said, "just how much deeper?"
"Pretty deep," Lexa said before shrugging, "but I'm an attorney, so I can do that."
"Right," Bellamy said as he laughed at her joke. "So what's your plan?"
"I figure if we can somehow connect the break-ins to Eva Porter," Lexa explained, "it would allow us to go after a search warrant that might lead us to legally seize the evidence that Aden and his roommate tried to get."
Bellamy leaned back in his chair and a look of agreement washed over his face. She couldn't help but smirk ever-so-lightly by the way he looked impressed as well. She reached for her briefcase and pulled out a few folders before setting them on the table for Bellamy to look through.
"When I met with the police at my apartment after it had been broken into, they gave me this missing property report," Lexa explained as she pointed to the copy of the report in her file. "If you'll see the last item on the list is a bottle of beer."
"Okay..." Bellamy said slowly, not sure where the brunette was going with her current explanation.
"I think one of the intruders took it out of my fridge and drank it," Lexa stated confidently.
"And what," Bellamy started, "you're hoping to get DNA evidence from it?"
"Actually yes," Lexa answered. "I've been working with a detective at the local police department, and he was able to track the bottle down at the city landfill, and it's being tested as we speak."
"You're kidding," Bellamy said as he took out his own notebook from his pocket and clicked his pen open to jot down some notes.
"Not kidding," Lexa replied. "Also the hospital took scrapings from under Clarke's nails on the night of the assault, as is protocol for any violent crime, and the lab is testing those as well. My hope is that we can get a common DNA profile between the two, which would–"
"Link the intruder at your apartment to the intruder at Clarke's apartment," Bellamy finished before he started scribbling down more notes.
"Then we link him to Eva Porter and get our search warrant," Lexa explained.
"If we can link him to Eva Porter," Bellamy clarified.
"Trust me, Bellamy," Lexa said as she leaned forward in her chair for emphasis, "from what I know about Eva, this has her fingerprints all over it."
Bellamy simply nodded and looked down to flip through the files sitting on the table. He wanted to make sure everything about Lexa's involvement in the case made sense to him, since ultimately the completion of the case would rest in his hands, so he carefully studied everything and took a few more pages of notes before he clicked his pen closed and looked up to Lexa.
"This will be an incredible break in my case if it pans out," he said honestly.
"I'm hoping it will," Lexa replied. "But even if it only leads to the identity of the man who attacked Clarke, that's good enough for me."
Bellamy flicked his eyes up to meet Lexa's gaze at the mention of Clarke's name, and she watched as he swallowed a couple of times and fidgeted with his shiny silver pen before clearing his throat and blinking a few times.
"Listen, Lexa," he started with a weak voice and cleared his throat again. "I just wanted to apologize to you for what happened that night."
Lexa eyed him carefully, not exactly knowing what Bellamy was getting at. She cocked her head to the side and waited in silence for him to continue.
"When Clarke and I were at the club earlier that night, we got caught up in the moment..."
Lexa's heart dropped, and her breathing slowed as she took in the words coming out of his mouth.
"... Clarke looked so beautiful, and we'd already had a couple of drinks..."
Lexa swallowed, or tried to, as her throat suddenly became drier than a desert.
"... I didn't plan on kissing her..."
Her eyelids drooped under the weight of heartbreak, and her ears dimmed out the sound of Bellamy's voice until he was just a mumbling blob in her hazy sight.
"... she seemed just as surprised as me..."
Bellamy's voice phased out again as her mind began to cloud even further. Bellamy and Clarke had kissed? They had kissed on the night of Clarke's assault? Clarke had kissed Bellamy and hadn't told her about it?
"Anyways, I'm so sorry," Bellamy said, "and I promise nothing like that will ever happen again."
Lexa could barely function. She could barely breathe. Her brain was barely sending signals to her body anymore as she sat frozen in her chair, likely to mold into the distressed wood and become one with it. She honestly couldn't believe the pieces of information that her ears had managed to hear, and she wasn't entirely sure how to even react. Should she be mad? Should she be hurt? Should she punch Bellamy? Should she blame Clarke?
"I understand," Lexa spit out the bold-faced lie before reaching for her file folders on the table. She stacked them together and quickly shoved them into her briefcase, not bothering to slip the clasp shut before standing up. "I should probably be heading out."
"Of course," Bellamy replied as he stood to mimic Lexa's position. "Thanks for everything you've done, Lexa."
"You're welcome," she heard herself say. "I'll... update you... on the results as soon as I... hear something."
And with that, Lexa turned and hurried out of the coffee shop to leave a concerned-looking Bellamy behind. He sighed and slumped down to his chair before running a hand through his hair. He'd hoped his apology to Lexa would have gone as smoothly as his apology to Clarke, but he knew by how the way Lexa hastily made her exit that it definitely hadn't gone according to plan.
Lexa found herself pacing the city streets for the last twenty minutes of the hour she'd told Clarke she would be gone. She felt trapped. There was nothing more she wanted to do than go back to her own apartment and think through the conversation she'd half-heard from Bellamy, but Clarke –injured Clarke– was waiting for her back at her own apartment and Lexa had told her an hour. She told her she would be gone for one hour, and she couldn't just not go back. With one last grit of her teeth, Lexa turned on her heels and began a slow walk back to Clarke's apartment.
When she opened the door, she wasn't surprised to see Clarke still on the couch. As with every time Lexa had entered the apartment over the last few days, Clarke made no move to look back at her as she closed the door behind her and hesitantly walked further into the apartment. Before she could even make it past the kitchen, Lexa froze mid-step. She was struck with the same confusion of emotion she'd experienced at the coffee shop, and the insecurity in her own feelings made her take pause for a few long moments.
She had to willed herself to pick up her feet from the floor and walk into the dining room where she set her briefcase quietly on the dining room table and flipped open the top. It was in that very moment that she chanced a glance over to the couch to see Clarke watching her intensely, and Lexa suddenly felt small under the gaze of bright blue eyes. She fought against her uncertainty on how to approach the situation burning her insides and silently moved to pull the file folders from her tote. She kept her gaze trained on Clarke, and before she knew it Clarke was speaking.
"Did you have to meet a client?" Clarke asked coolly, but the challenging look in her eyes was all Lexa needed to realize what she was actually asking.
It was as if the dam of her reserve had finally come crashing open, and all of the feelings she'd been struggling with for the past week began to tumble out in her expressions, her movements, and soon enough her words. She gripped the files in her hand tightly and walked towards Clarke, rounding the couch and standing squarely in front of the blonde with only the coffee table separating them. Clarke had been locked onto her gaze the entire time, not breaking it when Lexa stopped in front of her.
"I was meeting with Bellamy," Lexa told Clarke honesly.
They remained locked in a charged gaze, though Clarke's determination was quickly dissipating, and the only expression Clarke could read on Lexa's face was that of passion. Angry passion, passionate heartbreak, and an undecided passion that had Clarke feeling as though she was shrinking under the intensity of it. She finally snapped out of her thoughts as a dull thwack of the file folders Lexa had been holding sounded as they came rushing down onto the surface of the coffee table where Lexa had let them drop.
"We were discussing your case," Lexa said with a surprising amount of calmness in her tone, "the case I've been working on since I've been back," she continued as she motioned towards the dining room, "the case I've been losing sleep over for the past three days."
Clarke swallowed as her gaze finally broke from Lexa's and flicked down to the two cream-colored folders lying on her coffee table. She looked back up to see Lexa cross her arms over her chest defensively, and she definitely saw a look of heartbreak pass over the brunette's face that time.
"He apologized to me for kissing you."
Clarke's heart slammed against her chest at the words, and she momentarily lost all ability to speak. Why the hell had Bellamy told Lexa he kissed her? He didn't kiss her. He tried to kiss her, but he didn't kiss her, and 'holy mother of fuck, Lexa thinks I kissed Bellamy,' Clarke thought as her brain finally caught up with current time. A turmoil of emotions started to bubble up inside of her as she fought with herself about how she wanted to respond first.
'Why the hell did Bellamy tell you he kissed me?'
'Are you accusing me of cheating on you?'
'Did he not tell you the whole story?'
She wasn't able to form a response before Lexa was speaking again.
"I think it's time we talked, Clarke," Lexa said determinedly as she took a firm stance. "I mean, you haven't even given me a chance to tell you there's absolutely nothing going on between me and Eva Porter now or ever, and then I find out you kissed Bellamy behind my back?"
"I didn't kiss Bellamy," Clarke finally heard herself say back, ignoring the pain in her rib cage as she did so.
"Then tell me what's going on," Lexa demanded, "because Bellamy seems to have had a different experience that involved you two actually kissing."
"I have no idea what Bellamy told you, but I'm telling you that I didn't kiss Bellamy," Clarke said, "He tried to kiss me, and I pushed him away."
Lexa just sighed as Clarke spoke.
"Why is it that I'm supposed to believe you when you tell me a kiss with Bellamy didn't happen," Lexa asked before continuing, "yet it seems so difficult for you to believe me when I tell you that nothing has happened, is happening, or will ever happen with Eva?"
"You went to Washington DC with her and didn't even tell me!" Clarke replied immediately.
"I had no idea she was coming," Lexa explained honestly. "I had lectures scheduled for the rest week, which Aden had to cancel when I found out she was meeting me there. How am I supposed to tell you that if you won't even give me a minute to explain it?"
"And if you had explained that to me, my damage would have been the same," Clarke replied. "She was still there with you, and that still made me uncomfortable."
"What was I supposed to do, Clarke?" Lexa asked honestly.
"Leave," Clarke told her.
"She's a client," Lexa argued, "I can't just leave my clients in the middle of a political rally."
"Yes, you can," Clarke said as she shook her head lightly, "or at the very least you could have told her to back the hell off."
Lexa faltered slightly as she registered Clarke's words.
"I don't understand why you couldn't have just trusted me," Lexa said as her voice broke. "I told you that nothing would happen between us, and you didn't trust me."
"Lexa," Clarke sighed in frustrating as she combed a hand through her hair, "you've literally done nothing to distance yourself from Eva since the moment you signed her as your client."
"And?" Lexa questioned her. "Isn't the whole idea of trust to take my word that nothing is going on when I tell you that nothing is going on?"
"Not when I've been pummeled with evidence to the contrary at every turn," Clarke argued back.
"Which you haven't even given me five minutes to explain!" Lexa retorted.
Clarke's mouth snapped closed, and she sat in silence as she wondered what she wanted to ask her girlfriend first. If Lexa wanted five minutes, she would give her five minutes. Lexa, on the other hand, just closed her eyes tightly and sighed. She knew they were at odds with one another and the likelihood that either of them were going to give up their stance at this point in the argument was unlikely.
Lexa let her shoulders slump and turned herself away from Clarke before walking down the hallway and into the bathroom. It wasn't until she was left alone in the living room that Clarke noticed just how hard her heart was beating. Her chest ached, and she had no idea whether she had the strength to continue arguing with Lexa for the rest of the night. She blinked away a few tears that had managed to slip out of the corners of her eyes and used her crutches propped against the couch to pull herself up with a grunt as a sharp pain burst in her chest from her injured ribs.
As she clunked her way towards her bathroom, she couldn't help but turn her head towards the closed door of the guest bathroom where Lexa had retreated and contemplated for a brief moment about stopping there and banging on the door and either yelling at her some more or begging her to just hold her and never let go. A brief moment turned into a few lingering seconds, and when Clarke heard a quiet sob being choked back, she automatically pulled herself towards the door before pausing.
"Lexa–"
At the very moment the name tumbled from her lips, she heard the shower spray start up but listened intently for a response regardless. From the other side of the door, Lexa remained glued to her spot on the floor with her ear practically pressed up against the door waiting for any kind of confirmation that she'd actually heard her name from the other side like she could have sworn she did. When no confirmation came, Lexa sighed as a few more tears joined those already staining her cheeks and stripped herself of her clothes before stepping into the shower. Clarke let out a breath she'd been holding in her lungs when she heard Lexa pull the shower curtain open and then closed before turning to make her way to her bedroom.
She made a quick trip to the bathroom before settling herself under the sheets of her bed. Fortunately there was about an inch of water left in the glass sitting on her bedside table, and Clarke popped one of her pain pills, washing it down with the rest of the tepid water, and turned on the television hoping that she would be pulled into sleep to find momentary peace of mind from both her physical and emotional pain. She barely registered the sound of the shower turning off before she was granted her wish as her mind was swept into a deep sleep.
Clarke was screaming as her body remained still, contradictory to the intense panic that she felt coursing through her veins. Her muscles pulsated under each of the points on her body the man straddling her touched. The skin on her face itched as thick red blood poured steadily from her nose, her mouth, her eyes, and her ears. She could hear her heartbeat pounding her eardrums in a rhythm she couldn't discern. It was contrary to every normal pulse she had ever listened to from the bell of a stethoscope, and her desperate need for it to even out was making it oscillate even more erratically.
As time around her slowed, she tried to peer into the eyes of her attacker only to be met with a mane of dark brunette hair wafting gently in front of her face. The stringy ends tickled her face and a few strands dipped into her blood, painting them red like an artist's brush as they worked on creating a masterpiece. Her eyes drifted to the left, and she watched as a hooded figure came into view. The field of her vision began to blur as splotches of red began to veil her view, finally filling everything so she was looking out into a sea of her own blood.
As the hooded figure drew closer, Clarke squinted her eyes in a desperate attempt to squeeze out the crimson so that she could focus on the figure that was now towering over her as the man still pinned her down. She gasped desperately for air, unable to let any of her breaths fill up her lungs, and as the hood fell from the face of the figure looming above Clarke suddenly was able to see in a shade other than red. Piercing back at her were eyes of green, situated perfectly on a face she knew. Soft brunette curls framed the strong jawline she had once traced with her fingers and caressed with her lips, and as if time began to slow down around her she watched in confusion as the face in front of her began to smile. She lifted her arm and reached out to try and touch the curved lips she'd once kissed, but Clarke only managed to push herself farther and farther away with each additional inch she stretched. Her vision began to blur with unshed tears as the figure before her drifted away, and the green eyes that had just been piercing through the amber glow in her sights had vanished as the face of the figure was distorted by the hood once again before disappearing altogether.
Clarke's eyes fluttered open, and she was met with overwhelming darkness. The events of the earlier that evening came rushing back to her mind as she reached for her phone to check the time.
12:42am.
As she placed her phone back down on the small table beside her bed, she accidently clinked it against the glass of water she'd drank the last little bit from before she fell asleep and noticed that it was now full again. Clarke swallowed the painful lump in her throat and blinked a few times as she looked up at her ceiling. The TV had been turned off as well, and the silence of the night crept up around her and settled heavily in her ears. It wasn't until a few seconds had passed that Clarke heard a small, continuous sound coming from the far side of her bedroom. She craned her head forward and blinked a few times to focus in on the sight of Lexa, huddled into a little ball in a small chair set by the foot of her bed.
Clarke swallowed a painful sob and buried it deep in her chest, burning her lungs as she did so. She removed her covers and swung her legs over the side of the bed, reaching for her crutches and pulling herself into a standing position. She made her way down to the end of the bed as quietly as she could before sitting down on it, directly opposite of Lexa's still sleeping form. She let her eyes wander over the girl in front of her, noting the tissue grasped tightly between the fingers of her left hand. A tear rolled down her cheek as she realized that she was the reason Lexa had been crying at the end of her bed. She was the reason Lexa was hurting. She was the reason for everything, for all of this, and it rendered her barely able to breathe.
The second her eyes drifted down from her girlfriend's face, peaceful under the strong spell of slumber, she trained her gaze on the sweatshirt she saw Lexa wearing. The breath Clarke sucked in when she saw it stuck in her throat as she noticed that it was her sweatshirt. Her favorite sweatshirt. Her vision blurred even further as she let her eyes drink in the soft blue color of the fabric and the way the letters spelling out 'Columbia University' were worn from their original deep navy blue to a faded blue. Some of the stitching was loose, and Clarke knew the fleece on the inside of the sweatshirt was tightly balled after years of wearing and washing, but she could almost feel the warmth of the material long missing it's softness against her skin. Tears were spilling from her eyes by this point, and it only took a small sniffle to bring Lexa out of her dreamland and into the present.
"Clarke?" Lexa croaked quietly, her voice heavy with fatigue.
Clarke's continuity of her weeping was the only response she was able to give at that moment, and it gave Lexa time to sit up straighter in her chair and rub the haziness from her eyes. She quietly scooted the chair closer to the end of the bed where Clarke sat crying silently and with no indication of stopping. Clarke's thoughts seemed anything but silent in her own head as memories of her dad came rushing through her mind as she kept her gaze trained on the sweatshirt Lexa was wearing. It was an unexpected symbol that represented her father in many ways, all of which were so important to Clarke and all of which were reasons why the sweatshirt had become her favorite the moment after her father passed away all those years ago.
As she looked harder at the item of clothing, the symbol of her father, a life-changing realization began to come to her. She had made it this far. She had found strength. After the loss of her father, Clarke had doubted every day whether she'd have the strength to go on with her life, make something of herself, find someone else to love. But she had. She realized that she had been able to move on and live a wonderful life, trials and tribulations included, and she was strong enough. And seeing Lexa, actually seeing her, in that sweatshirt made it finally click in her mind that she didn't have only herself to rely on for strength anymore. She had Lexa. If she could give her the trust and respect she deserved, she had Lexa to help make her strong when she alone couldn't be. If she wasn't all in with Lexa, then she was all out.
And she wanted to be all in.
"Clarke?" Lexa asked again, this time moving to rest her hands onto Clarke's knees.
Clarke said nothing in response as she lowered her head to rest in her hands and sobs began to wrack her body. Lexa remained just as she was, with her hands on Clarke's knees, and watched as her girlfriend began to crumble into tiny pieces right in front of her. She felt Clarke's body began to tremble as her sobs subsided and Lexa's heart nearly shattered when she saw Clarke's face rise, painted with pain and regret, and her watery gaze locked with Lexa's concerned one. It wasn't long before tears were beginning to pool in Lexa's eyes as well, but she clenched her jaw and willed herself not to lose control.
"My dad bought me that sweatshirt," Clarke whispered as she fixed her gaze upon it. Lexa looked down to remember what she'd shrugged on before falling asleep and brought her hands back to her own lap so that her fingers could toy with the bottom of the floppy fabric, suddenly worrying whether she should even be wearing it.
"My dad bought it for me," Clarke explained as her voice cracked. "The day after I got my acceptance letter to Columbia, he came home with that sweatshirt for me. I'd never seen him smile as wide as he did when he unfolded it and held it up in front of me. I just laughed, thinking it was cool to have a sweatshirt with my University name on it... I didn't know it would be the last thing he'd ever give me."
Lexa swallowed back a few sobs, forcing them to die in her chest, as she listened intently to Clarke tell her about the sweatshirt. She knew it was difficult for Clarke to speak about her dad and that every time she did, Clarke would find herself so emotionally entrenched in her memories of him that it was almost like she was travelling back in time and reliving each one as she told their stories. Clarke let her fingers fidget nervously with one another until she looked up at Lexa to meet her gaze once again and never letting it go.
"I want my best friend back," Clarke whispered as tears streamed down her face quicker than she could manage to blink them free. Lexa nodded out of instinct, but suddenly wasn't sure whether Clarke was talking about her or her dad. Lexa clenched her jaw a few times and waited for Clarke to continue.
"I'm sorry I pushed you away," Clarke said as her body began to tremble and her tears continued to come. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you," she continued as a few powerful sobs wrenched their way out of her chest, "I'm sorry for everything... I'm sorry for everything..."
Lexa was crying audibly at that point, inhaling small gasps of air into her lungs as her heart exploded with the sound of hearing exactly what she had needed to hear. Lexa's hand went back to Clarke's knees, and they both continued to weep. Clarke gripped her hands around the edge of the mattress and squeezed it hard as if it was all that was anchoring her from losing herself in the tidal wave of emotions pouring from her.
"I want my best friend back," Clarke sobbed, "I want you back in every way... because I... because I love you."
The millions of tiny shards Lexa's heart had broken into at the beginning of the evening were suddenly being lifted back into place, reunited with each piece it had broken away from, and the three small words Clarke had just confessed through her sobs were warming her soul and healing her heart. Lexa's hands shot up from her lap, and she rested them lightly on either side of Clarke's jaw. A few tears slipped from Clarke's eyes as she closed them at the gentle touch, and her hands wrapped around Lexa's forearms just before the press of lips against hers sent her heart soaring into the clouds.
Lexa kissed her. She kissed her with every ounce of desperation she'd been pushing down since the moment she had walked into Clarke's hospital room on the night she was attacked. Her lips pulled carefully at Clarke's, wanting to feel and taste every inch of her, wanting to express in her movements that she too loved Clarke more than anything in this world, wanting to tell her without actually having to tell her that she was here, forever, no matter what and there was nothing that could ever pull her away. Their cries tumbled from their mouths and tangled between each other's lips as the continued to kiss until they were both breathless in the most dizzying way. With their foreheads resting together, they caught their breath and Clarke waited to hear Lexa speak. She wanted to hear that the brunette loved her. That she returned her love. So she waited to hear her. She waited to hear her say it.
"I quit my job," Lexa finally whispered against Clarke's lips.
Clarke blinked a few times in bafflement and pulled her head back to look into Lexa's clouded green eyes. She searched them for a few seconds only to find a look of utter peace and contentment on Lexa's face. Clarke barely realized the joyous, yet confused, chuckle escape from her throat until she heard it in her own ears, and she opened her mouth to speak.
"What?"
"I quit my job, Clarke," Lexa repeated herself as she swallowed thickly and a fresh supply of tears began to pool at the bottom of her eyes. "I don't want anything to ever come between us, whether it's a job or a completely miscommunicated fight or anything else. You are my life. You are the only thing that has ever made sense to me, even when you confuse the hell out of me."
Clarke laughed through her tears and squeezed Lexa's arms tighter under her fingers.
"I am so incredibly in love with you, Clarke," Lexa said with a trembling voice, "and the only thing I wished more for this moment is that I would have told you sooner."
"It's enough," Clarke croaked as she shook her head. "It's enough... if I'm enough."
"Always," Lexa said quickly.
Clarke pulled Lexa from her chair and didn't stop pulling until Lexa was straddling Clarke's hips. She felt Lexa's arms wrap tightly around her neck as her own encircled Lexa's waist, holding her in the tightest embrace she was able to manage regardless of the pain radiating from her rib cage as they clutched to each other and cried lightly into each other's necks. Lexa wove the fingers on her right hand into curly blonde tresses, and she gently massaged the scalp underneath as Clarke's crying slowed. Their breathing returned to normal aside from the random sniff and sigh as they finally managed to pull themselves together. Lexa leaned back to let her eyes wander over Clarke's face before her fingertips moved to follow the same path.
"I love you," Lexa whispered.
"I love you too," Clarke whispered back.
Another kiss was shared, tears were wiped, and noses were blown before Lexa was leading Clarke back to the head of the bed and carefully tucking her injured body under the covers. Lexa felt a small hand slip into hers just as she had turned to walk back to her chair at the end of the bed, but Clarke's eyes told her to lie beside her so that was precisely what she did. Careful not to agitate any of Clarke's injuries, Lexa slipped under the covers and slid over so that their bodies were pressed solidly against each other and their fingers were intertwined on top of the covers. They both slipped into a deep and peaceful sleep, the chair at the end of the bed long forgotten.