Chapter 20: Inner Self Truths

She stared at him—the whitelighter…Kane.

She thought she knew him. At least…knew him enough.

"You're not taking this too well," Kane said. "I can see it written in your eyes."

"Well, you can't exactly expect me to take this in readily and accept it just as easily," Raven told him. "It takes some time to let it settle, register, and then be adjusted to."

"That doesn't mean that you'll…hate me for this—will it?" Kane asked her. "Or at the very least…not trust me?"

"I don't hate you; I love you too much to ever hate you—no matter what you ever told me," Raven replied. She didn't even realize what she told him until after the words left her mouth. She saw the shock that they'd imprinted on the whitelighter and the Elder, but she was just starting to feel the same shock of it as well herself.

"You…love me?" Kane exclaimed, expressing shock raw and clear on his face. "Did I hear that right? Did you actually say—?"

"After all that you've done for me…and everything, I just…I guess I started to fall in love with you. I just realized it myself," Raven told him. "It didn't even register until the words came out, but I know I've felt them."

"You love me," Kane said, mostly as verification to himself. "All those times you attempted to—or actually did—kiss me…I guess, in a way…it makes sense."

"Yes, I do," Raven replied. "With how I felt after you were attacked by that darklighter's arrow, how you've made it your responsibility to protect me, and just how I feel safe and at peace when I'm just in your arms…it's a feeling I've never felt for anyone else like this."

"Protecting you isn't just my responsibility, since you're more to me then just a charge needing protection. And how you reacted when I was shot—you making the attempt to heal me…." Kane looked at Raven warmly. "How I dreamed of you, back then…I guess—you really are my dream girl." He looked to Danielle as a thought just occurred to him. "You were always a cryptic type, Danielle. I think now I'm starting to get why you said it was my destiny for me to have her set up as my charge—and not for the all too obvious reasons. But I have to wonder…how—and maybe…why?"

"I foresaw it some time ago, and only I could, as you are akin to me," Danielle replied. "I did not feel it proper to just…tell you the real purpose, as I felt it better for you two to work that out naturally amongst yourselves. You know well I do not pressure you to make decisions when I have always philosophized that you should have freedom to make them on your own. Plus, there of course was more then one purpose to you being set up with her in the first place, so it was better to just leave it at that, and just let the rest come together piece by piece as time progressed."

"I always got the sense there was something you weren't telling me," Kane said. "By the way, did you ever mention this to Artie? With the quip he made about matchmaking for the two of us some time back…sometimes I got the feeling he knew something I didn't."

"No, I kept that from him," Danielle replied. "I do not know why Artie chose to make a statement like that to you; I promise I deliberately kept him oblivious to keep him from interfering. Whatever he did…it was from his own point of view, not the grand design."

"Those dreams are starting to make sense now," Raven spoke up suddenly. Both whitelighter and Elder eyes looked to her suddenly.

"What dreams?" Kane asked. "How are they now making sense?"

"Dreams I mentioned having just after you came back from your week long hiatus. The ones that kept me from getting much sleep that week," Raven replied.

"If they bothered you…why didn't you bother to tell me more about them?" Kane asked her. "Maybe I could've helped you work through them."

"They were kind of embarrassing for me at the time, I don't think I could have talked to you about them," Raven told him. "I asked Prue for advice, considering she offered it, and…I kind of figured she was more knowledgeable on that area to begin with. I figured in general that…the sisters in general would be more able to help me, after seeing their track record…with relationships."

"Do you think you could…talk about them with me now?" Kane asked her. "As well as explain how they make sense now and didn't when you had them?"

"The first…of two was a fairly intimate one. I was embarrassed to have dreamt something like that—let alone tell Prue about it. When I couldn't figure out the identity of the person with me in it, it left me puzzled, and frustrated. When a second one came around that made even less standing on its own…" Raven trailed for a moment. "They appeared to be so random separately; the second was about a little girl with an art piece she was showing me…it wasn't until she referred to me as her mother did I even connect the two as one and not just separate random dreams. And when Prue suggested they might be a sign…"

"I remember you said you were you thinking about what Piper said about Phoebe having premonitions and everything about her own future daughter….is that the reason why you were thinking about that?" Kane asked.

"That was one of the reasons why I didn't discredit the lengths Phoebe went through when Piper brought it up," Raven replied. "I got the feeling after that point that my dreams were also, in a way…premonitions."

"And now…how do they make sense? What's the completed puzzle look like?" Kane asked her. "Care to interpret?"

"I think I finally know who the dreams are about," Raven said. "I think…they were about…you."

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Piper was just taking a breather. Leo had volunteered to take the boys for a few hours, and her sisters were all occupied with normal errands and problems. The hour was late; it was getting towards the sun's setting hour, the time when the sun would fade into obscurity for the evening and let the moon operate in its stead for the arriving evening. Piper knew her sisters were busy, she knew Billie was out on a possible date or something…she wasn't so sure what their current houseguest was up to, or even if she was even in the Manor for that matter. The girl---Raven---tended to be a tossup of a brooder part time and occupied with social matters the rest. Piper wasn't quite yet sure what to expect of her young guest at the Halliwell Manor—

She had no objections with the girl; she seemed nice enough and didn't give off any indications or signals of trouble like Billie had a while back, or Billie's sister had for that matter. She was a pretty decent houseguest, Piper concluded; emotionally controlled, pretty good about taking care of her own upkeep, and she was quiet. Raven tended to be more into meditation then anything more outgoing, Piper had observed.

Prue still was debating who Raven's friend, the strange tan girl Starfire, reminded her of the last time Piper had spoken to her eldest sister. She recalled Prue going on and on about how the experience had been strangely like déjà vu when she'd gone out into the woods to retrieve the girl, how she couldn't put her finger on just why that was—

Piper was enjoying just getting caught in thought in the peace in silence of the late afternoon. She'd go check in with their houseguest, Raven, in a little while, just to keep tabs on what was going on. In a little while—

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

"I probably should get you back, it's getting a bit late," Kane said to his charge. Raven stood at the edge of the spire, looking downward at the landscape below, the sunset touched bay and the city's skyscrapers beyond that. She was enjoying the view, for once.

Danielle still was there; she had been the silent party while the other two had discussed and confessed a few things to each other. She had just observed, not making any comments to either one as they spoke to each other.

"Are you in a hurry?" Raven asked, looking at him as she responded.

"The sun's about to go down," Kane reminded her. "You do remember that I have some issues with the nighttime—right?"

"I-I'm not sure," Raven responded.

"The uncontrollable outbursts I sometimes get in the late hours, remember?" Kane said. "I never know when to expect them after dark, and I don't want to risk having one while I'm at the Halliwell Manor if I can help it. Plus—I don't want to risk exposing you to them until I feel it's safe to…I don't want you to get hurt."

"I remember," Raven told him. "You told me about that a while back." She walked away from the ledge toward the center where he stood. "Do you want me to go back with you—instead of back to the Halliwell manor? Back to the house outside the city?"

"I don't think so, Rae," Kane told her. "At least—not for the time being. I think it's safer to keep you there—for now."

"Okay," Raven replied simply. She looked over to the silent Elder. "Danielle, if it's okay to call you that—I have something I need to ask you about."

"What is it?" Danielle replied.

"I once saw a blue-white aura surrounding me while I was looking at my reflection in a mirror, and I was wondering—does it mean anything?" Raven asked.

"It sounds like a whitelighter's orbing," Danielle replied. "A possible sign of something. I can only partially foresee its meaning. Not enough to come to a conclusion, I am sorry to say."

"Is it significant?" Raven asked. "Or should I even be worried?"

"I am sure it is significant," Danielle told her. "I would not dismiss it by any means."

"I won't," Raven replied. "It was...nice to meet you, by the way."

"Likewise," Danielle replied.

"We should go," Kane spoke up. Raven silently noted his expression was apprehensive.

"Yeah," Raven agreed. To Danielle, "Will we ever meet again?"

"Possibly," Danielle replied. "It is time you two got going."

Kane nodded, wordlessly motioning for his charge to take his hand. The two then departed, leaving the Elder in her own solitude.