Notes from GobHobblin: The title of today's chapter was taken from a Lloyd Alexander book of the best caliber. Strongly recommended.

The office of Col. Tatsumoto was spartan, but comfortable. There were old notebooks and binders, all of them records for the running of a small army, lining the one bookshelf present. There was a desk, a few chairs, even a couch (all pilfered from empty structures, most likely), and a Japanese flag on the wall. Other than that, it was very bare.

"I don't like to spend my time here," Tatsumoto explained, sitting behind her desk. "A commanding officer who spends time in the office is one who neglects her troops. Most of these 'soldiers' were civilians when they came to us, so they need maintenance. Guidance, leadership. You can't just ignore them."

Asuka said nothing, her arms crossed and her pose uneasy. She had removed most of her weapons, and laid them on the table for comfort, but she still had her six-inch utility knife conspicuously attached to her rigging. Rei, for her part, had occupied the entirety of the couch and was reluctant to move at all. It worked out well, as Asuka seemed more interested in radiating suspicious hostility.

"I'm getting the sense that you're a little uneasy with all this," Tatsumoto said.

"A bit," Asuka said quietly. "For many reasons."

"Care to name a few?" Tastumoto asked.

"Well…for the current time being, I have a friend who is a member of the Restored Government in the south," Asuka explained. "You can imagine I'm very concerned about finding a group running around in the woods calling themselves the Self-Defense Forces. Especially when I haven't heard anything about you." She twirled a finger in the air. "You'd think that something like this would get out."

Tatsumoto nodded. "I imagine some of the other reasons have to do with our attack on NERV-1, yes?"

Asuka smiled. The expression was ugly, and dark. "You said it. Not me."

Tatsumoto shrugged. "That wasn't the entirety of the SDF. And frankly, a lot of us were skeptical of the reasoning behind the attack. Anyone with half-a-brain could tell that there was some sort of power play going on, and we were being used to enforce it."

The smile remained frozen on Asuka's face, but Rei perked up. "Why go through with it, then? Why kill all those people who…couldn't defend themselves?"

The Colonel held her hands open in front of her. "I can't tell you, because I wasn't there. I didn't participate in the attack, and I don't know what the mission parameters were. All I know was the NERV had been classified as a terrorist organization intent on triggering Third Impact, and were to be stopped at all costs. We observed the attack from television. We watched the deployment of the MPU Evangelion units to…stop you." She pointed at Asuka. "We watched them up to the point that they began to participate in Third Impact themselves and the circuit cut.

"Well…it was about that point when a lot of us realized we had been suckered."

That made sense. If you saw someone in your employ begin the very thing you hired them to prevent, you might feel a little betrayed, too. "Simply put, a lot of us decided to hell with the whole lot of you," Tatsumoto murmured.

"You and me, both," Asuka grumped.

"The problem is, you did kill a lot of our personnel. We can't blame you for that, because we attacked you, but people in our services died fighting you," the Colonel explained. "A lot of people still hold you accountable for that."

"And you?" Asuka asked.

Tatsumoto shrugged. "It was ten years ago. I have over two hundred people, some with children, that look to me to make the command decisions that will keep them alive. Let's say I took you out back right now and hanged you from the porch." She jerked a thumb in that direction, to emphasize her point. "Will it bring back all those you killed? More to the point, will it harvest this season's crops? Stave off sickness and infection? Raise morale?" She shook her head. "No. It would be petty and pointless."

"And irrelevant," Rei said. "Those who were killed will probably come back in their own time, anyway." Tatsumoto nodded, and Asuka suddenly felt a shift. Something had not been explained.

"You seem accepting of that," Asuka said. "What makes you think they'll come back at all?"

"Well, you did," Tatsumoto said. "Your friend told me you were killed - hell, I watched you die. If you were dead when all those you killed were, it only makes sense that they have the same option to Return."

"As does everyone killed in NERV-1," Rei said, sitting up. "Like another friend of ours. It's hard to be angry if the deaths weren't implied to be permanent."

"Exactly," Tatsumoto said, but Asuka was still uneasy about how much this woman knew about her…how easily she just seemed to accept her.

"What did Shinji tell you all? Exactly?" she asked, but the Colonel waved her hand in the air.

"You're asking things that can be explained later. I thought you wanted to know what the SDF was doing here and why you didn't know about us?"

Asuka and Rei blinked in unison; the Colonel could have sworn she heard a 'click' when it happened. "You're just gonna…tell us?" Asuka asked.

"Yes."

"No…evasions? No vague explanations?"

"No."

Asuka still radiated vague hostility…but she finally sat down. "Talk away, then."

Tatsumoto smirked at her posture. "When Third Impact came," she said, "I was a First Lieutenant in the Military Police, stationed at Megaport 4, in old Nikaho. You remember that facility?"

"One of eight built after Second Impact," Asuka said. The Colonel nodded.

"Ten years ago, me and forty other military personnel, including my current First Sergeant, Tago Kuze, came out of the sea. There was no one else, the base was…wrecked. I was the only officer out of the batch. We took stock of the situation, and when we couldn't contact anyone else we…decided that we were all that was left. Of everything."

"The last people on earth," Rei said. Tatsumoto nodded.

"We gathered some supplies, left a plaque we carved out of sheet metal with a blow torch. Nothing fancy, just a 'We were here, and we went this way.' In case someone needed to find us. We spread ourselves out over a convoy of jeeps and armored vehicles, and cut inland."

"What were you looking for?" Rei asked.

"Untainted water, mostly," the Colonel explained. "It was raining where we were, and what came down was clear, not red. It stood to reason that the LCL content in the ocean was filtered out in the water cycle."

"Clever," Asuka admitted.

"We came to this spot, and felt it would be as good as any. Lots of land, good soil for growing crops. Nearby trees for timber. Ground water, nearby streams. It was good. We decided to keep on as a platoon, in the military chain of command. It was the most efficient way to ensure survival."

"That was with forty people. You have over two hundred, now," Asuka said.

"We had recruits," the Colonel said, smiling. "First, about ten civilians wandered through, asking for food. They offered to work to trade for it, but we did them one better. Join the SDF, and we'll watch out for each other. So forty became fifty…then seventy. We are now as you see. We've leveled off a lot, in the past few years, but we grew for a bit there."

"I take it you've been promoted in the last ten years," Asuka said dryly.

"Had to…at first it was just a vote to make me a Captain, in lieu of an actual promoting board. That was when we grew a bit larger than a platoon. We needed a chain of command, and you need officers to guide that chain of command. So we…commissioned a few of the more experienced enlisted personnel, and kept right on trucking.

"The bump to Colonel was done two years ago, at the decision of all the senior officers, and again, approved by general vote." She shrugged. "As for the secrecy, it's nothing sinister: we didn't announce our presence, but we didn't hide it, either. We weren't interested in being the government: we just wanted to survive! We started hearing about the Restored Government through news, and rumors, but we had no way of contacting it, and no desire to send anyone on a dangerous trek to the south to do so. We figured they would catch up to us sooner or later, and we could announce ourselves then."

"If you're in radio contact with the trade town in the south, you could do so now," Asuka said, "They've just become the outer limit of the Restored Government's communication network."

It flirted through Asuka's mind that they were probably at the northernmost point of settled…or at least civilized…Japan. Possibly of the world. There was a thriving global network of foot trade, ship trade, and aerial trade, but it was confined along the equatorial region and coastal areas. There was a long chain of humanity from Japan to England…but that was it. A few more densely settled areas had been found, on the southern tip of Africa for instance. No expeditions had yet gone to North America. The thought filled her with a sudden chill, a vague dread of the emptiness of the world.

"Good. That's good to hear," Tatsumoto said, cutting through Asuka's thoughts. "We've been needing resupply and support for awhile. Especially now."

"Now?"

"There's something…organized out there, in the wild," Tatsumoto explained. "They've been poking at our perimeter for some time, now. I don't know who they are, and I don't like that. You probably saw our security measures."

That sounded familiar to Asuka. "They waved us through pretty easy, once we announced ourselves. I don't know if those are security measures," she said pointedly.

"You came from the south?"

"Yes."

"We have traders that still move up that way. That's why we have the tower, there," the Colonel said. "We don't have many probes from that direction…mostly the east, and the north. And, to be frank, they recognized you. We all know about Asuka Langley Soryu…and you have very red hair."

"I should have dyed it," Asuka mumbled. "I've always liked attention, but this is getting surreal." She squinted. "Why are people acting that way around me? Trusting and eager to meet me? It's like being a celebrity, only…" She seesawed her hand. "Stranger."

"You can thank Shinji Ikari for that," Tatsumoto replied. "He shared a lot about you."

Asuka shook her head, in wonder. "What do you remember about him?" Rei asked, in an eager tone. She knew nothing about what Shinji was like now, and she was dying to hear what he'd become.

"I remember he was kind," Tatsumoto said. "And curious! He seemed fascinated by us. He went everywhere, helping with chores, and asking questions. Nothing suspicious, or about our security or anything. Just…where did you come from? What did you do before the Third Impact? What plans do you have for yourself? What do you like to do without television?" She smiled at the memory, and wagged a finger at Asuka. "It's one of the reasons we learned about you. We asked him if there was anybody he knew or cared about, and he gushed about you. When you were Pilots…he talked a lot about that. He thought you were the strongest person he had ever known."

Asuka blushed. She didn't remember anything good from those days…they felt one long, lonely nightmare of missed opportunities, frightening monstrosities, petty irritations…and worse. Why would Shinji call on anything from those days as being good?

"What else? He never carried a weapon. I remember that distinctly. He had a knife, but no firearm. I couldn't believe that. He had come all the way out here, without a weapon. That was six years ago, and it was dangerous then, too." That struck Asuka. She remembered he had left with a rifle. Why was he not carrying one when he came upon the base? Stranger and stranger.

"All that way and unarmed," Rei murmured. "I don't believe it. I came far less than that distance and was almost killed. Almost got both of us killed." She turned to Asuka with an apologetic expression of guilt.

"Remember what I said about learning lessons," Asuka said, giving her a gentle look.

"He didn't look like the kind of fellow who would do, it either. I mean, aside from his mountain man beard, you could tell he was a kid. After shaving, he looked so baby-faced," the Colonel mused.

"A beard?" Rei chirped, surprised. Asuka wasn't quite listening, as she was fishing out the photograph that Yurie had given her. She studied it for a brief moment, feeling warm. Shinji was in the midst of excited children, two boys using his arms like monkey bars and a little girl perched on his shoulders. He was looking at the picture with eyes that looked distracted and dazed, but a mouth that was forming a half-smile. It looked so much like him, and so unlike him at the same time. She realized she was seeing him through two eyes; those of the past, when he was a frightened, easily pushed child, and those of the present, where he had walked into the wilderness with no fear. No fear, but maybe something else…Asuka shook her head.

"I'm guessing this is a pretty good image of his time here?" Asuka asked, handing the photo to Tatsumoto. The woman looked at it, nodding.

"Yeah, like that. It's good to see him, again." She studied the photo, but seemed to see something else. She sighed, and placed it down on the table. "He was unique. Didn't join up with us…just did his thing and after month, moved on." Rei picked up the photo.

"Where'd you get a picture?" Rei murmured, then gawked at the photo. "Wow, that is a beard!" she said loudly. "And he is very muscled. How did that happen?"

Asuka snatched the photo back, tsking the girl. "Restraint, child, restraint." She turned her attention back to the Colonel. "I'm still surprised that he left such an impact. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great but…well, if you knew Shinji…the way I did…"

"I get the impression he did something wrong by you," Tatsumoto said. Asuka's mouth dropped, and Rei scrunched her nose quizzically.

"Wro…Wrong? I mean…no, no! Why would you say that?" Asuka was flustered, and confused by it.

Tatsumoto shrugged. "Miss, I'm an officer. I've got a good sense of what drives people. I don't know what happened between you and him, but the way he talked about you, the way he…came through here…all his help, his questions, his…warmth. It felt like he was trying to…erase something. Does that make sense?" Tatsumoto steepled her hands in front of her face and leaned forward. "He struck me as someone who felt like he had done something bad, and he had to make up for it."

"Do you think he…blames himself for Third Impact?" Rei asked, but Asuka shook her head.

"We talked about that a lot, but he never felt guilty for it," Asuka said. "We determined pretty early on that it was beyond his control. If anything, he made it better than what it could have been."

"Like I said, the way he talked about you…it gave me the impression he had done wrong by you." The Colonel shrugged. "Do you remember anything that could have caused a reaction like that?"

Asuka didn't even have to think about it. "Yeah, a few things." She began to stammer after that. "And, well, yeah, that made stuff a little awkward. We got over that, though…I thought we got over that. I just…um…"

"I didn't mean to pry, or open old wounds," the Colonel said. "You seemed like you were still trying to understand why he left. I was just…offering a theory."

There was a poignant silence that followed, lingering as the three women reflected on what had been said. Asuka could think of two things off the top of her head that might have still galled Shinji, and maybe a dozen other more minor things that he could have been beating himself up over. It was true, those things had always sat between them…but they had dealt with them. Grappled with them, fought with them…put them to rest. Were they still pushing him along? It unnerved Asuka that if they had been…why hadn't she seen it? Why hadn't she done more to stop him?

Rei picked up on the uneasy mood, and felt the immediate urge to fix it. "So…what'd he say about me?" she suddenly said, impetuous. It was the kind of thing a child did, bringing attention on themselves when the mood was sour, and Rei had developed a certain understanding of how adorable she could be…egged on in no small part by her last meeting with Maya Ibuki. Asuka seemed to pick up on why Rei had done it, and felt a flush of relief. Yes, Rei, let's talk about you for a bit…

The Colonel fixed teenager with a whimsical smile. "Not much, since he seemed focus on the girl he left behind. He did talk about you a bit from the Pilot days as well…enough so that I recognized you out in front. What he did say was warm. He had a keen fondness for you…that was the impression I got."

"Of course he would be fond about me, but nothing about my awesomeness?" Rei asked, sounding dramatically downtrodden. "I was just as awesome as Asuka. I was way more awesome than Asuka." She mugged a bit. "I was God, you know."

The Colonel furrowed her brow, and Asuka giggled. "Maybe a better topic for later, Rei," Asuka suggested. "Let's ease into these things one step at a time, 'kay?"

"Well…I was," Rei replied in a saucy tone, sniffing and turning away. The Colonel stared at the girl, then glanced back at Asuka. The red-haired woman shrugged, and mouthed, 'She was.' The Colonel shrugged, admittedly amused by the blue-haired girl's antics.

Either way, Rei had made a fan out of the Colonel. The woman said. "Tell you what. I'll spread some rumors about how amazing a Pilot you were. Will that salve your pride a bit?"

"Use the phrase 'insanely awesome,'" she added, "and I might feel a bit better."

The Colonel laughed. "All right. Insanely awesome. It's a deal. Now, lunch should be starting soon, and I imagine you both would like a decent meal. I would be most honored if you joined me."