A/N: Hey Everyone! I'm sorry the last update was so short, I'm back at my summer job now so I've been pretty busy but I'll try to continue to update weekly. Also please leave your comments! They keep me motivated and let me know whether or not people are still interested in the fanfic. Thank you for continuing to read this story!
Snow and David insisted on doing the dishes despite Regina's protests that there was hardly anything to do. Henry was in the kitchen with the two of them, determined to help. He wanted to tell them where everything went as they put things away, even though they both already knew since they'd seen where Regina had taken everything from. They enjoyed watching him try to take charge though, and they really liked spending the time with him.
Emma walked back into the living room where Regina was straightening up the cushions on the sofa. The brunette waved her hand over the furniture, magically removing any Neverland dirt that might have made its way into the fabric.
"They seem to have everything covered in there," Emma said. "Is there anything in here I can help you with?"
"Thank you Emma but I'm fine."
The blonde stopped a few feet from Regina, eyeing her closely as she realised the other woman was attempting to hide her face.
"Regina are you... crying?"
The mayor shook her head, but wiped her eyes anyways.
Emma gave her a small, sympathetic smile. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, don't worry about it."
"It's obviously not nothing Regina."
Sighing, Regina straightened herself up and glanced in the direction of the kitchen. "Henry."
"So... happy tears?" Emma tried to be optimistic. "Because he's home and he's safe?"
"I never imagined I would be able to bring him back to Storybrooke with me. I mean this Henry. I was so sure that being able to leave Neverland would mean losing him but... here he is."
Regina looked back at the blonde with a teary-eyed smile, she looked so happy that it almost broke Emma's heart. "But only until tomorrow." Emma said sympathetically.
Regina shook her head a little, trying to force herself to see reality. "I know. And the truth is I can't wait to see Henry again but... At the same time I'm really going to miss him."
Emma nodded in the direction of three-year-old Henry. "This one you mean?"
"I'm sorry, I know him being here has been hard for you too. With him not remembering who you are." Regina ended a little quietly.
"Hey, it's okay really. Yeah I do want him back, I miss Henry like crazy. But I know he'll be back soon and I know he'll be safe until then. I can't even begin to imagine what you've been going through these past few days. This must be... crazy for you. But crazy in a good way I guess. I don't know if any parent has ever had an experience like this before. At least maybe not any parent in our world... this one I mean. Yeah... Well I guess there was Marco and August, but Marco never really got to see... you know... Pinocchio growing up, so it wouldn't have been the same for him because when Mother Superior changed August back into a little kid he was at the oldest age that Marco had ever seen him I think. Nothing like the situation with Henry."
She paused. Regina was just staring back at her with a half-smile on her face, apparently too emotional to speak. She seemed to be waiting for the blonde to continue but Emma didn't really know what to say.
"It's like, you know how parents sometimes want their kids to just stay babies forever? I feel like so many people would kill for an opportunity like this. But you know... not literally." Emma added. " Feel free to stop me at any time."
Regina remained quiet for a while, thinking Emma's words over. "I've been lucky," she started quietly. "To be able to have these few days with him. I've missed how our relationship used to be. Before he started to pull away from me. Before Snow gave him the storybook."
"Yeah it seems perfect. It really wasn't what I expected at all."
"What do you mean?"
"You guys were so close. And you're so good with him. He really loves you."
"And all of that surprises you?" Regina's tone became slightly defensive.
"Oh. No of course not. I think it's great how well you two get along. I know Henry still loves you; eleven-year-old Henry I mean. But based on how you guys were when I first came to Storybrooke it's just... not what I expected." She repeated, not sure she was making it any better.
Regina looked away. What Emma said was true, her relationship with Henry had been strained long before Henry's trip to Boston.
"He used to love me more than he does now, is that what you're saying?"
Emma hesitated guiltily. "Regina no that's not what I–"
"It's fine..." Regina walked towards the window, hugging herself. "I'm sure it's the truth anyways."
"No of course it's not. And from the way you and Henry have been this week, I can really see that you were – that you are a great mom Regina."
Regina felt herself give a small smile at that.
"Seriously though, what happened between the two of you? What changed?"
Regina sighed, closing her eyes briefly.
"It can't only be because you lied to him about being adopted?"
Regina turned to face her. "I just... I screwed up. I lied to him about who he was and where he came from. Surely you of all people can understand how important knowing the truth about your heritage is?"
"Well sure, but I also know that you were a really good mom. The way you are with little Henry, that's what I always wanted for me. When I was a kid in the foster system I used to dream of having parents like you. More than anything I wanted a mother like you to adopt me, to care about me no matter who my birth parents were. I just wanted to be a part of a real, loving family."
Regina felt a tear fall from her lashes. "That's all I wanted with Henry too."
"But that's what you had. I don't understand how that could have changed."
"My relationship with Henry wasn't destroyed only because I told him he was adopted. He distanced himself from me because he was angry that I kept the truth from him for so long, and not only that but I also fictionalised his entire past. By the time you met him he'd only known the truth barely three years. For more than half his life he believed I was his birthmother and that Daniel was his father."
"But surely he can understand why you would–"
"Well he didn't alright? He's never forgiven me for it. And ever since then he hasn't trusted me. He started pulling away from me... and I let him." Her voice cracked with emotion. "I believed he just needed some space for a while and then things would slowly go back to normal. Other adopted children are happy, they love their adoptive parents just as much as they would if they were blood related. But the situation with Henry was different. By the time I realised what was happening it was too late."
"What was different about it?" Emma asked quietly.
Regina stared at her with a desperate expression on her face. She swallowed before continuing, trying to regain her composure. "I thought he just needed space, he was pushing me away and I thought he just needed some time... but that was my mistake. What he really needed was for me to be there for him... and I wasn't." Her voice dropped almost to a whisper. "He thought the reason I was leaving him alone was because I didn't love him. And after that, no matter what I did... he thought I was only pretending to care."
"Regina, I didn't know. Why didn't you ever just tell me about all this?"
The brunette just shook her head, not having an answer to that.
"And then your mother – always making things worse for me under the pretense of helping – gave Henry that book. And because Henry is so smart, he figured out the truth."
Even through the pain and tears in her eyes, the pride in her voice was unmistakable. "He figured out who I used to be, and he thought... he thought the main reason I adopted him was to keep him from your family."
Emma remained silent, she took a seat in one of the chairs, frowning in thought. She didn't know what she could possibly say to comfort the distressed mayor.
They sat in silence for a few minutes.
"You don't trust me either." Regina finally said quietly.
"What?"
"You didn't trust me. When I left the ship in Neverland with Henry, you didn't believe me when I told you it was an accident."
"Oh... Regina that was... those circumstances were–"
"And you didn't want me near him! Did you think I was going to hurt him?"
"No. I was worried you would try to run away with him again after we found you. Or worse, cast some spell on him that would prevent Gold from changing him back. Come on Regina what was I supposed to think? Gold said he could do the spell and then not even two seconds later you bolted. And then Wendy saw you casting a spell on him."
"I told you then, I wasn't going to use the spell. You could have trusted that I was telling the truth instead of ripping him from my arms as if you're his mother and I'm just... I don't know, only here to look after him as long as you see fit; until you're able to take him back again. Even after all Henry and I have been through I'm still his mother and you have no right to keep him from me!"
"First of all Regina," Emma's own voice was growing testy. "I am his mother. We both are. Yes even this version of Henry. I may not have been a part of his life the first time around but I am here now and I still care about him just as much as you do. And I never ripped him from your arms in Neverland! I asked and you gave him to me."
Snow cautiously walked into the room then, looking back and forth between her daughter and stepmother in concern. She and David had heard the conversation growing louder from the kitchen, and David had taken Henry out into the backyard so he wouldn't hear.
"What's going on here?" Snow asked.
Regina was shaking her head, she ignored the younger woman's question. "Once Henry is back to normal I just know I'll be cast to the sidelines again. I'll be pushed out of his life exactly like I was before." Her voice cracked, there were tears starting to form in her eyes.
"That's why you've been so afraid every time we came close to getting Henry back." Snow said, astonished. "It wasn't only because you wanted to keep little Henry, but because you're afraid of losing him?"
Regina turned away from them, her hand covered her mouth as she tried to keep herself from crying.
"Regina that's not going to happen," Snow insisted, a heartbroken expression on her face.
Regina whipped around to face them again. "Yes it will! Because it always does."
"No! Regina he loves you very much."
"He says he does," Regina's voice rose higher from emotion. "But then he never comes to visit. He barely ever wants to spend time with me anymore and when he does I have to ask your permission first." Regina glowered at Emma. "Permission to see my own son!"
"Well I'm sorry, but I won't apologise for worrying about him!" Emma said defensively.
"What would I do to him? All I want is to see him! To spend time with him! And you always stand in the way of that!"
"What would you do to him?!" Emma asked incredulously. "Since I've known you, you've tried to cast some spell on him that would force him to love you and want to stay with you; you've plotted to take him through a portal to another world while abandoning and leaving the rest of us behind to die from some exploding diamond thing, and not to mention the fact that you've poisoned and killed him! So excuse me for not trusting you around him."
Snow placed a hand on her daughter's arm. "Emma."
"What?" The blonde snapped.
Snow shook her head warningly, her eyes round with sadness.
Emma was breathing heavily, but she felt a twinge of guilt when she next looked at Regina. Instead of appearing to be angry, Regina mostly just looked defeated. The tears that were clouding Emma's vision were nothing compared to the ones streaming down Regina's face.
"Regina... look I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have said all that."
"Don't apologise, you're right aren't you?" Regina replied curtly. "I did almost kill Henry." She finished quietly, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"I don't think you're going to hurt him." Emma said honestly. "And I do trust you with him. I just wish you would trust me in return. I don't want to keep you from him but sometimes you just don't give me a choice."
Snow stepped forward, "Regina we know you're afraid of losing Henry, but so are we. All he wants is for all of us to be a part of his family."
"I know it is." Regina replied quietly.
"I swear we'll never keep him from you." Snow said. "Just as long as you promise not to come up with any more plots to kill us?" She added a little jokingly, trying to diffuse any remaining tension.
A small smile flickered across Regina's face.
"We can all be a family. Henry won't have to choose sides and no one will have to fight over him."
What Snow said made Regina feel a little less anxious, but while it was great that the Charmings wanted her to be able to spend time with Henry, what if it wasn't only them that was the problem? What if when Henry came back tomorrow, he would fall into his old habits of ignoring her and spending all of his time with Emma and her parents? He would once again be part of a large, happy family while Regina was left feeling alone and unwanted.