Chapter 19: Fearless

The next day dawned bright and sunny – a reminder that she should be joyful instead of brooding. Alice rose with the sun and reported dutifully to her mother's chambers to be measured for a wedding gown. Her wedding was the day after tomorrow, so the dress needed to be completed quickly.

Two days. Two days was all that stood between her and Jasper's safety. She sighed as she made her way to her mother's chambers, silently hoping she wouldn't take all day. She wanted to sneak back down to the infirmary to check on Jasper again. Opening the doors, she was greeted by a hearty shriek of joy from her fawning mother as the Queen hurried to her side.

"You're here! Oh dear, we must get started immediately! My maids have agreed to sew all night if they have to do finish a dress for your wedding," the Queen said. Alice managed a weak smile and tried to remain patient as the process began. One of her mother's maids attacked her with a piece of measuring tape while the others loudly argued in her ear about the color of her wedding dress. Esme dashed around the room as the royal seamstresses threw bolt after bolt of vibrant fabric on the table in front of them.

"This blue would be lovely!"

"Oh no, she must wear the pink!"

"I shall wear green," Alice finally stated. Everyone in the room paused as their eyes shifted to Alice for an explanation. She usually wasn't at all picky when it came to gowns, so her interruption came as a stark surprise. The silence in the large room was infinite. "Green is Jasper's favorite color."

"Child, do you already know the favorite color of your betrothed?" Her mother gasped her caramel eyes wide with adoration. The Queen had always been a romantic, and that day was no exception.

Alice nodded. "I do."

Esme clapped excitedly before selecting a bolt of jade green. "This. This is the color."

Alice smiled and nodded. "Jasper will love that."

Esme sighed dreamily, taking her daughters hands in her own. "You do love him, don't you?"

Alice watched in the mirror as the fabric was draped across her body. It made her sun kissed skin look exquisite mixed with her chocolate waves and green eyes.

"He's difficult not to love, you'll find."

After the fitting was complete, she ducked out of her mother's quarters and down the hall towards the room where Jasper was resting. To her dismay, Alice was shooed away from the infirmary that day by her mother's handmaiden.

"He is my future husband!" she shrieked. Her morning had been spent getting measured and pricked by sewing pins and all she wanted to do was have a visit with Jasper. His arms weren't broken! He could at least hug her and finally kiss her and perhaps even hold her for a moment.

But the handmaiden insisted. The middle aged woman gave her a stern glare and insisted she wasn't to be trifled with.

"Your mother has requested that you not see Sir Whitlock until your engagement feast!"

"But that isn't until tomorrow night!" she huffed, stomping her foot.

"Then the lady has some waiting to do, hasn't she?"

Alice glared at the woman one last time before turning and flouncing away. After everything they had been through, she just wanted to see Jasper.

Later that night, she was sitting in her window seat, gazing out at the lawn below. The men were working by the light of torches just to make sure the royal gardens were in perfect condition for her nuptials. It was far past the hour when she should be asleep, but she didn't care. All she did was toss and turn and have nightmares about Laurent and James anyway. She wasn't sure the reason, but Victoria's face also sometimes lingered in the background of her nightmares as well. She sighed in discontent and let her shoulders slump. She couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen before they made it to the altar.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on her bedroom door. So soft, in fact, that she wasn't even sure she had heard it. The door slowly creaking open made her jump up and run over. She held her breath until she realized it was Jasper's blond head of waves poking through the crack.

"Jasper!" she whispered happily, running over to him. He opened his arms and met her with a tight hug. "Are you really here?"

"I am. I missed my Alice too much to be parted any longer."

She pulled away and looked down. "But your leg!"

She could see where he had pulled on a loose pair of breeches and a cotton tunic. The pants were loose enough to not bother his bandage, but she was sure the nurse wouldn't approve of him walking all the way up to her room. There was no way his wound from James' stabbing could be safely healed yet.

"I had to see you. I explained to your guard Tyler that I just wanted to bid you goodnight."

She grinned. "I gave him some sweets from the kitchen to stand guard over you. Make sure no harm came of you."

Jasper touched her cheek affectionately and grinned. "So you did, my love. He told me of your diligence and it makes my heart happy that you care for me as you do."

"Of course I do Jasper…I…I love you," she breathed. Jasper beamed at her, raising her hands to his lips and softly kissing her knuckles. The gesture made butterflies of desire flutter in her stomach. She gazed up at him with longing I her eyes. "I love you so much that it hurts. I'll never be so happy as when I'm finally your wife."

"You mean when I'm finally your husband."

"You'll be King, I'll be Queen. We'll be even in my eyes."

Jasper inhaled softly, shaking his head. "You will always be my Princess Alice. The lofty, unattainable goddess I'd foolishly set my sights on. The girl I don't deserve."

"It's I that does not deserve you."

"Don't say such things," he chuckled. "I am the one out of place here dear Alice."

"Yes but…what other man would so willingly sacrifice himself to win himself a place at my side?"

"James, apparently," Jasper replied sourly.

Alice huffed. "Well, what man will so willingly sacrifice himself with truth and honor?"

"A fool," Jasper chuckled. "I'm a fool for you and have been since I first laid eyes on you dear Alice. I'm afraid you shall soon be the death of me."

"Don't say that," she laughed. "Nothing will change between us once we are married. We'll always be us. Only now it will be allowed. Will you still take me for midnight rides in the woods and…and let me sneak off to the market?"

"You will be the Queen of my heart and shall always do as you please. I will only trail along at your heels to ensure your safety my dear. I…I'm going to do my best to make you the happiest woman in the land. You know that, don't you?"

She nodded. "I wouldn't have chosen you if I didn't. But why are you here? Shouldn't you be resting and letting your leg heal?"

He shrugged and led her over to the window seat. "My leg will be fine. It barely pains me even now. I should be fine by….by our wedding," he said shyly, giving her a boyish grin.

"It's hard to believe, isn't it?" she grinned, grasping his hands. She wove their fingers together and beamed at him.

"Yes," he admitted. "I still can't believe I won." She watched as Jasper ran a hand through his golden locks, shaking his head in amazement. She would never forget the sickened feeling she felt all day as she'd watched that tournament unfold. The image of James' blade sinking into Jasper's leg would surely haunt her nightmares forever.

But he was safe now.

She leaned into his side as they settled into the plush array of cushions. "I know. You won because you have a king's heart, Jasper. That's all that matters. The people just need a strong man to look up to and to lead them to peace, bloodline be damned."

He tilted his head to look at her. "You really are somethin' else, you know that don't you?"

She shrugged. "I just have sense, that's all. Now that you've convinced everyone you're of noble blood and won the tournament you're as good as royal in their eyes. It makes no sense."

"I never thought it did either."

"That's why we're perfect together."

He sighed, running his hand through her loose waves. "I love you. You know that, right?"

She smiled brightly at his words, bouncing slightly in her seat. "I love you too. And yes I know. Not many men would compete against twenty three strangers and take a knife to the leg just for silly little Alice. You're special Jasper, I know it."

"And now just why wouldn't they? You're just about the prettiest thing I've ever seen in my life and you're smart to boot. And funny. And original. And brave. Who wouldn't want a girl like that?"

She snorted. "Well, none would have me til you. They couldn't handle me."

"I bet."

"I remember seeing you at that ball," she sighed. "I knew you were meant for me right there."

"Did you now?"

She nodded happily. "And now here we are."

"Here we are," he agreed.

Jasper leaned forward bumping his forehead against hers. "We're getting married in two days. We'll be together forever."

"You won," she whispered happily.

"I did, didn't I?" He asked. "Well, I won it for you. And that reminds me..."

"What?"

"I never got my victory kiss."

She grinned. "That you didn't. My apologies," she laughed, leaning closer. Jasper's lips met hers in a slow, soft kiss. She boldly deepened it, pushing her lips against his with need. Jasper laughed against her mouth and cupped her jaw, opening her mouth to him. Alice greeted his tongue with hers, warmly allowing him to penetrate her mouth and taste her. She played back, flicking her tongue with his and trying not to laugh.

"I missed you," he whined against her lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he echoed back.

She inhaled his clean, masculine scent. She could tell he'd had a bath recently – instead of smelling like horses and the woods and cedar he smelled like fresh water and the soaps the palace used. He smelled clean and fresh but still like Jasper.

She leaned forward, brushing her nose against his as she inhaled his scent again. Her body reacted in a deliriously wonderful manner, growing tingly and twitchy and needy with desire. Her eyes opened to see his green ones staring back at her with a mirroring look of lust.

"I want you Jasper. I want to…" she trailed off, unsure of the unladylike words she was fearlessly whispering to him. Wanting a man in the manner she wanted Jasper was still quite unfamiliar to her. But she still wanted him. The memory of their shared night together was forever emblazoned on her mind as she leaned even closer. Jasper's lips greeted hers in a welcoming kiss, his head tilting and his mouth sliding open to taste her freely. Alice felt a breathy sigh leave her chest as his tongue mingled playfully with hers. He caressed her arms with his strong hands and slowly pulled her against his warm body with a groan of approval.

"Please," she begged, breaking their kiss. "I need you."

Jasper looked at her, his green eyes searching hers. "Shouldn't we wait?"

"But…we already…"

He chuckled and brushed a piece of her wild hair away from her face. "Yes love we have but…don't you think to keep the romance in our engagement it would be proper to wait? Just two days?"

Alice frowned at him dubiously. She didn't understand what difference it made – they were to be married in less than forty eight hours and her maidenhead already belonged to him. What did it matter if she wanted him in her bed again so soon before they were married?

"Why…don't you want me Jasper?"

He frowned and cupped her cheeks in his hands. "Of course I want you," he sighed. His eyes fell to her heaving bosom as she took one upset breath after another. She followed his gaze down to the tops of her breasts that were visible in the moonlight and frowned. Why didn't he want this as much as she did?

"I just think that…it would be romantic to wait. Let the anticipation build. Then when we share a bed for the first time…well, officially – it might be special. We'll be so crazy for each other that we'll barely be able to contain our passion. And we'll officially be man and wife together in our own room, without fear of being caught…"

He trailed off and gave her a gentle smile. "Don't you see?"

She sighed and nodded. "I do I suppose," she relented. "I just…"

"Believe me Alice," he chuckled, grasping her hand in his. "I want to. I really do. But I want our wedding night to be special and something we'll never forget. I want to take my time and really cherish you. Make you feel like the Princess you are. As much as I want you right in this very moment I….I would much rather take my time and not hurry. Worship you…make you feel good. In two days we'll have all night together. And surely a honeymoon where we won't be expected to leave…"

She grinned and nodded. "I will be sure to ask mother for a honeymoon," she promised. Jasper waggled his eyebrows at her in response, making her heart flutter about in her chest.

Alice slid herself around to settle in his lap and gazed down at him. "Promise me that…that even when we're on the throne we'll still be….this."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Just that we'll still be us. We'll still escape for midnight rides and….and walks in the woods and sneak off to the market."

He smiled up at her, his green eyes sparkling in the moonlight streaming through the windows. "I'd give you the world if you'd let me Alice. Of course we'll still be us. We can be together now. From now on, it's just you and me."

As promised, Alice spent the next day out of Jasper's sight. She knew she was in for a long day when her mother woke her at first light for another dress fitting. As the maids flitted about, Alice stood and impatiently listened to Rosalie babble about wedding details as Victoria finished her hair. Her sulky maid had returned to sight the next day, her lip curled and her attitude as unpleasant as ever.

Alice winced as Victoria pulled on another section of her hair as she wove it into pin curls.

"Sorry milady," she offered snidely.

Alice huffed and ignored her. Instead, she turned to Rosalie who was supervising Bella and Renesmee's dress fittings. "Do you think they will even let me dance with Jasper after dinner?"

Rosalie quirked an eyebrow. "I will be shocked if father lets you so much as touch Jasper's hand before the ceremony," she sighed. "Why?"

"I miss him," Alice whined. She didn't dare speak of Jasper's late night visit in front of Victoria. Rosalie gave her a knowing glance.

"I'm sure you will suffice."

"Says you. You're already married. What's….what's it like?" Alice asked as Victoria pulled at another section of her hair. Her maid was twisting it up into curls and pinning it on top of her head. Before the dinner that night, she would unravel them and arrange the curls around Alice's midnight blue evening dress for the engagement dinner.

Rosalie sighed happily, pursing her lips. "It's like….looking into his eyes and seeing forever. Seeing your future children, seeing your happiness, and understanding all of life's little mysteries. And…it's like having a sleepover with your very best friend every single night. You know that they'll never leave your side and that you'd never leave theirs. They become your rock…your safe place," Rosalie sighed. Alice noted the dreamy look in her sister's eyes and her heart ached to have that feeling.

She knew Jasper was for forever – she just needed that feeling to be official.