Thank you very much for the reviews on previous chapter. Yay, we've reached this amazing rounded number :D, so I really hope you like chapter 20. I know 10th kind of stood out and this isn't that special, but...I believe number 18 was enough ;). Still, read and enjoy:
Title from All of Me by John Legend and it starts with Addie being "you".

What's going on in that beautiful mind

"Henry? We want to tell you something..."

Mark has pretty much become Henry's dad and at that time it was even a little shocking for you, but it happened long before you married him. Now you can say Henry absolutely adores Mark. That's why he's immediately paying attention when Mark starts speaking.

"You know that Bailey has a big sister Zola. Well, many people have siblings, your mom has a brother too and uncle Derek has four sisters for example," Mark smirks like he would also very much like to give Henry four sisters, but you glare at him, personally thinking one is perfectly enough.

You cut in:
"You know, before babies are born, they grow in their moms tummies. And there's your baby sister in my tummy now. In about 4 months you're gonna be a big brother, Henry."

"Me brother?"

"Yes Henry, you are having a little sister."

"I wanna brother."

If you weren't feeling that uncertain about having a girl these days, you wouldn't worry about that, but now it's kinda too much. But that's when Mark steps in, chuckling:
"I'm sure you do. But you have Bailey, he is almost like your brother. Look, it's like me and uncle Derek. We aren't brothers really, but he is my best friend in the whole world."

"O-kay," Henry shrugs.

"Your sister can be best friend with Cara, the daughter of uncle Jackson and aunt April, you know," Mark winks and you think about their girl, who was born just a few days ago.

"She's little."

"Yes, your sister is gonna be just as little at first. But just like you are growing, they're both gonna grow and be bigger later."

"My sister here?" Henry points at your abdomen and when he puts his hands on it and says "Hi," you are close to crying once again and you feel you couldn't have asked for more.

###

"Addie? What are you thinking?" you ask that night when you see Addison is still awake and staring into the ceiling. You catched her in similar situation a few times this week – since you found out the sex of your baby – and it is starting to concern you a little.

"What? I...nothing. We should sleep."

"Yeah, we should. But you look thoughtful. And I'm not gonna be able to sleep when something is bothering you, you know."

"Mark..." Addie sighs and you wrap your arms around her.

"Just tell me."

"You will hate me and...I can't take that right now."

You see the tears in her eyes and your concern grows bigger. You sit up and drag Addie up with you.

"What is it? I won't hate you, I promise."

And she almost says You can't promise me that or You will, I'm sure, but after you wipe her tears with your hand, she just swallows and admits:
"It would've been a girl...the baby...in New York. I just know that. She would have been 10 this year. And now...Mark, I'm so sorry..."

Your hands jerk away and suddenly you are gazing the bedsheets.

Addison sniffles:
"And I can't be thinking about this baby as a substitute for that one...for Ella. But I...it's impossible."

Is there really no escape?
No escape from time
Of any kind

(Duncan Sheik – Half Life)

Ella...it shouldn't hurt this much. You are really mad at Addison at this moment. But you are mad at yourself too. And your heart breaks for Addie, because you had no idea that she still felt so much remorse about her decision.

###

"...Ella?...I just..."

When Mark pulls away from you and starts saying something, though he doesn't really know himself what it is supposed to be, the situation feels oddly familiar and you remember Jake saying "I'm processing, so just give me a minute here..." a lifetime ago.

And then Mark looks up and his incredibly blue eyes meet yours. His voice sounds a little weak, but he manages to say:
"Addie, I could never hate you."

It doesn't chase away all your demons but it's better than anythig he could've said.

...

"What's wrong?" Mark asks nervously when he catches you in the clinic rubbing your belly three days later.

"Nothing...nothing's wrong. Braxton-Hicks. They don't hurt, it's just...my uterus slowly getting ready for the grand final, you know?"

"Are you sure? You can take the rest of the day off if you want."

"No, it's okay. Your worrying is cute though."

You suddenly feel a loose tear on your cheek, because your hormones are really messing with your emotion these days.
Mark wipes it with his finger, you come closer to him and kiss him passionately wishing you could just drag him into the nearest on-call room, because second trimester is also kicking in when it comes to your sex drive. At 23 weeks you have to give up your heels, because your swollen ankles really can't take it anymore, and you realize that you don't own any flats really, so Mark's credit card goes into action once again.

And of course you talked about buying a house together, but it first came up only after you got engaged and since you already had the baby on the way, you had million other matters to take care of. Mark moved in with you, because your apartment is big enough and you figured you will be worrying about bigger place for the kids when your daughter is born.

Your daughter...that's the thing. The day after you tell Mark that you don't want to think about this girl as a substitute for Ella, but you just can't help it, he comes home with a packing in the wrapping paper that has colorful pacifiers on it (which surprises you enough, because honestly, how does Mark Sloan even know where to get such things?) and he says eagerly:
"Addie, open it."

You tear the paper and find a yellow onesie.

"I figured she is probably gonna have your beautiful hair, so pink clothes are out of question, but..." you raise your eyebrow and he has to make himself clear, so his manhood remains unharmed, "Don't look at me like that! Callie told me so..."

Your lips curl into a smirk and then you see a Pink Floyd sign on the front.

"I figured there aren't any decent sport teams in Seattle, but...she could at least like good music."

"Yeah, okay," you chuckle and Mark puts his hands on your baby bump (that feels huge!) and says:

"Also, Addie...? Do you have any idea how to name our girl? I think she should have a name, I mean...she will be here soon," he winks and for a moment you feel like slapping him, because you really don't need a reminder of how big you've grown already, "And...when she has a name, you might be able to stop thinking about her as...you know."

He flinches a little, but you are so touched you start crying, throw your arms around his neck and breathe out:
"Mark...I love you!...Let's give her a name."

He grins happily and than pulls out another item from the bag beside him.

"Honey, is it..."

"Baby names book," Mark smirks and it's also a little about the fact that you just subconsciously called him honey. And then you start kissing him and taking his clothes off once again.

Dealing with this thing wasn't easy but it needed to happen. I really hope both Addie and Mark were in character and I'd love to read your opinions. On my profile you can find a link to the picture of their daughter's new onesie ;).