A/N: And now the moment you've all been waiting for......

BELLA

Rosalie and I stayed like that for a long time. Both of us thinking about what had just happened.

I was shocked that Rosalie had asked me to be a maid of honor. I knew she never really hated me as much as she made people believe, however, I never imagined that she actually liked me that much. I especially thought that she'd hate me more after I did exactly what she told the family that I was going to do all along. I lost them one of their own. I thought for sure that she'd hate me after that. I never in a million years thought she'd ask me to fill a position that was usually reserved for sisters and best friends. However, she did and I couldn't believe it.

I think she was a bit shocked that I said yes. Especially after the way she treated. I, however, understood exactly how she felt about me. In her opinion, I was a danger to the rest of her family. One that wasn't even necessary. Yeah, I'd hate me too. I thought for half a second about saying no, but I knew that if she was a big enough person to put aside whatever negative feelings towards me, long enough to ask me to do this, then I could forgive her for those negative feelings and say yes. It was definitely an agreement that made the both of us happy.

We spent the next couple of hours unpacking and talking about the wedding. She, Alice, and Esme were planning a big beautiful ceremony in Alaska, in the Denali's backyard. Everyone of their vampire friends and aquiantances were invited. The thought of that many vampires in one place was a little scary for me, but nothing I couldn't handle. I had already survived three sadistic ones who wanted to kill me. What was fifty or so more?

Rosalie, also, told me all about her dress. It was a beautiful white ball gown that poofed out in several layers. It had a strapless corset bodice with shiny beads all down the front. It definite;y sounded like something Rosalie would wear. It would catch everyone's eyes. She, also informed me that she and Alice had yet to decide on a dress for the maids of honor. So I'd have the honor of helping them with that.

She then told me all about how Carlisle had agreed to give her away, just like he had at everyone of their weddings. It made a lot of sense, for Rosalie and Alice to ask him. He was, after all, the only father like figure either of them could remember. I knew that I would've asked him if Charlie wasn't around when I got married. He was already like a second father to me in so many ways.

We talked so much that I was surprised we finished my unpacking by the time the others came home. I was, however, so emotionally drained from the day that I ended up going to bed meer minutes after they arrived home.

The next few weeks passed by in a much more enjoyable fashion than the past few months. Carlisle and I had a few one on one counsoling sessions. Sessions in which I could talk about anything and everything that was on my mind at the time. I talked mostly about my anger at Jacob. I explained that Jasper helped me to realize that I was angry at Edward for fighting Jacob that day and taking himself away from me. We addressed the cutting and got deeper than just the Edward thing. I found that I blamed myself for all the bad things that happened in my loved ones lives. Which contributed too much of the guilt I felt after Edward's death. We also discussed Charlie and how I felt about having to lie to him about basically everything involving Edward and the family. There was a great amount of anger there as well. However, even if we couldn't find a solution to any of the problems, just acknowledging them and talking to someone about it, helped a lot.

Alice, Esme, Rosalie, and I spent a lot of our extra time planning Rosalie and Emmett's wedding. Alice and I finally found our dresses about two weeks after I moved in. They were a pretty light purple with spaghetti straps and went all the way to the floor. They showed off a respectable amount of cleavage and while pretty in the own way, they didn't outshine Rosalie's at all.

We had to practically force the men to go to their fittings and what not. By forced, I mean at least two of us had to accompany them to make sure they showed up.

Whatever time I didn't spend planning the wedding, I was hanging out in my room trying to avoid Jasper. Keeping that box locked inside was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. He always seemed to be around wanting to help me in anyway he could. It would've been sweet if I wasn't trying really hard to pretend that my feelings for him were sisterly. Thankfully, I managed to keep myself out of a position where I'd be vulnerable around him. I couldn't give into my feelings for him, no matter what. I refused to hurt Alice like that. She didn't deserve it.

I thought serious a few times about telling Carlisle during one of our session, however, I decided against it. I didn't want him mad at me because I could potentially break up his family. Esme, however, seemed to know more about things than she wanted to say. She just had this knowing smile on her face everytime I would refuse Jasper's help or walk away from him whenever we were alone.

If Jasper was upset by my constant rejections of his friendship, he didn't show it. He also seemed so calm and in control of his feelings. However, I would ocassionally catch a flicker of hurt in his eyes whenever I would move away from him or tell him I was fine.

I didn't know what was going on with us at that point though. All I knew was that it was getting harder and harder to walk away from him.

THREE WEEKS LATER....

I woke that morning to the smell of bacon and eggs. Interestingly enough, I opened my eyes to find a tray of scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, and a glass of orange juice sitting in front of me. I sat up with a sigh and rolled my eyes. I still hadn't gotten used to the Cullens enjoyment of pampering the human. It still felt extremely awkward for me. However, I learned to keep my annoyance to myself because anything I said other than thank you, was just ignored. Still, I felt I was entitled to be silently irritated.

A chuckle came from somewhere in the room, out of my sight range. It was so unexpected, I jumped and sent the tray flying through the air. Before I could even get over the surprise, I heard another chuckle and felt a couple of breezes accompanied by a colorful blur pass by me. Less than a second later, while I was still clutching at my chest and trying to catch my breath, the tray was back in front of me, with the food looking like it hadn't been upset at all, and Jasper was staring at me from across it.

"You scared me." I stated still slightly breathless.

"Sorry, I came in last night because I heard you mumbling a little in your sleep and wanted to make sure that you were alright and then, I just couldn't leave. I guess, I know understand why Edward liked to watch you sleep. I didn't mean to sneak up on you like that, but you're just so cute when you're trying not to be stubborn." he replied with a chuckle.

I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks at his words. I never really got used to the idea of Edward watching me sleep, and I wasn't exactly sure what to make of Jasper doing it. I didn't want him to see my embarassment so I quickly looked down at my plate and started eating for something to do. I allowed my left arm to rest across the tray. I wanted it to look like I wasn't completely uncomfortable with the idea of being alone in my bedroom with him.

He was silent for a long time while I ate. However, I could feel his eyes on me. I didn't dare look up for fear of doing something that I might regret later on.

"Can I ask you something?" he finally asked.

"That depends on what it is." I answered after slowly swallowing.

I had a feeling I knew what he was going to ask and I didn't want to answer the question.

"You've been avoiding me these past few weeks and I was just wondering what I did wrong?" he asked.

"I haven't been avoiding you." I stated a little too quickly. "I've just been busy helping the girls with the wedding preparations."

"Nice try." he replied with a small smile. "But it's a lie and you know it."

"No, it's not." I defended.

"Bella, I'm an empath. I can tell there's something else. Only, I can't quite figure out what. You emotions go haywire when you're around me. Like know for example, you're fluctuating between fear, pain, sadness, and guilt. I really don't understand."

"It's nothing, Jasper. I promise. I'm still recovering remember, my emotions are bound to be all over the place."

"But not like this. When were with the family, your feelings are for the most part calm and serene, they don't start jumping around until your alone with me. And when I catch you reading or wondering the house alone, you feelings are more or less pleasant. There's something going on with you and it's about me. I need you to tell me what's going on so that I can help. I won't judge you or anything, I just want to make you feel comfortable around me again."

He slid over and up on the bed, until he was sitting right next to me staring me directly in the eye.

"Jasper, I promise that it's nothing that I can't handle on my own, okay." I responded and looked at the bed in embarassment.

I hated that he could see right through me. I knew that he knew, I was lying about being able to handle it on my own. I also knew that there was no way I was going to get out of this without telling him the truth about my feelings. I continued to stare at the bed for a long moment trying to figure out a way to make him let it go.

After a minute, I felt his thumbe and index finger grip my chin and lift my head until our eyes met. His eyes were a beautiful topaz that you could simply get lost in. I somehow found them more beautiful than I had Edward's. Of course, I was beginning to find everything about Jasper, better than Edward. I struggled slightly against his hold, however, he was way too strong for me and held me firmly with just those two fingers.

"Bella, please talk to me and tell me what's going on?" he pleaded. "I hate to see you're emotions like this. It's the way you felt whenever you hurt yourself. It scares me know that you're feeling those things again, especially around me. I don't want to be the reason you start hurting yourself again. So please, will you tell me, what's going on with you."

I suddenly found it, like I so often did whenever I stared into Edward's eyes, difficult to look away or deny him what he wanted me to say and do. However, I fought hard this time, because I knew no one could ever find this out. It would hurt Alice way too much. I couldn't cause my best friend that kind of pain.

"I can't, Jasper. Please." I pleaded. "I just can't."

I tried to pull my chin out of his grasp again, but he refused to let me go or break eye contact. I was starting to break as I not only looked into his beautiful eyes, but began taking in his other features and realizing that Edward had nothing on Jasper. Tears weld in my eyes as my brained reminded of Alice. I fought with everything I had not to tell him what I so desperately wanted too.

He started to lean forward and knew I was doomed. My head was screaming at me to pull away for Alice's sake, but my heart was saying stay out and let him do what he was going to do. I couldn't make my heart listen to my head and the Jasper box rattled violently.

It burst completely open the minute his lips met mine. I immediately opened my mouth to allow his tongue access. It was like kissing Edward, only ten times better. He was a gentle as Edward ever was, however, there was way more passion behind it than Edward would've ever allowed between us.

It was the most amazing kiss I had ever experienced in my life. It was like fireworks and a Hallelujiah chorus in my head. I couldn't imagine anything better than this. As I kissed him back, I completely forgot about everything in the world.

It didn't matter that he was my dead fiance's brother or that his family could walk in and catch us at any given moment. It didn't even matter that he could lose control and rip my throat out at any given second. All that mattered was that I pour every bit of feeling I had for Jasper over the last three weeks into that one kiss. It was special and amazing. And he was so good at it. I finally understood why Alice liked.....

With that thought, reality came crashing back to me. This was my best friend's husband and mate. By kissing him, I was hurting Alice and I couldn't live with myself if I hurt her. I couldn't do this, not with Jasper. He belonged to Alice, not me. It just wasn't right.

It was with those guilty thoughts that I ripped myself away from Jasper and put as much space between us as possible.

JASPER

Somewhere in my mind, I knew what I was doing was wrong. However, everything that I had been feeling for Bella and vice-versa was the only thing that mattered in my head. We both needed this outlet and neither of us could deny it. God knows, we tried. I could feel and see how hard she had been fighting it over the past weeks and it was even harder for me to ignore both of our emotions together. It just couldn't be done.

I needed to know what it felt like to kiss Bella. If only for this one time. I needed to be able to show her how I felt, even if I wasn't supposed to feel this way about her. I was gentle as I could possibly be, I didn't want to risk hurting her. However, I couldn't control the amount of passion I put into it. I had been holding it back for way to long.

It surprised me to find that she had just as much passion and love for me as I did for her that moment. It was like all her fear and sadness was taken away in that one little kiss. If I had known that was all it would take, I would've done it a whole lot sooner.

Kissing her was the most amazing thing in the world. I mean, yes, Alice brought fireworks and choirs to my life simply by kissing me, but Bella, it felt like her kiss was bringing me knew life. It felt like I was being reborn again, and not as a vampire either. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was human again and it was the most amazing thing anyone could've done for me. I didn't ever want the feeling to go away.

The kiss, however, lasted less than a minute before Bella's passion and love changed abruptly back to fear, sadness, and guilt and she literally ripped herself away from me. When my senses, caught back up with me, she was on the couch staring at me with tears brimming her eyes. Her emotions were jumping everywhere and I had no idea what to do.

Slowly, I walked over to the couch and sat beside her. I reached out to brush some hair out of her face, but she flinched away from me, shaking a little.

"Honey, what's wrong?" I asked. "Did I hurt you?"

"No." she replied as some tears spilled. I reached up to brush them away. She flinched slightly but didn't pull away.

"Then what's wrong?" I pressed.

"We can't do this, Jasper." she cried. "I can't do this."

"Why, is it because of Edward?" I asked. "Because you know as well as I do, that the only thing he ever wanted was for you to be happy."

"No, Jasper, it isn't Edward, it's...."

"Alice." I cut her off.

I felt like a complete and utter asshole at that point. How could I forget Alice, my wife and mate. The woman I loved. She was everything to me, and I had forgotten about her because of one little kiss from someone else. It wasn't right. I shook my head at my own stupidity.

"Exactly." Bella stated. "I can't hurt her like this. And you shouldn't want to, either."

"I know." I replied shamefully looking at the couch. "But I can't help what I'm feeling for you know. Or ignore what you're feeling for me. I need you Bella as much as you need me. I can feel it."

I didn't know what to do. I wanted Bella but I couldn't hurt Alice. I knew I still loved Alice as well. It was just too much to have to decided which one I wanted and needed more at the moment. With Bella's negative feelings coursing through me at the moment, I was going crazy trying not to kiss her and make her forget everything again. I didn't want to see her in pain, which was exactly what would happen if I stayed with Alice. However, I couldn't hurt Alice by leaving her for Bella. It wouldn't be right or fair.

"I know." Bella replied still figthing the tears with everything that she had. "But you have to, we have to. Alice is my best friend, and I couldn't hurt her like that. Her friendship and trust means way too much to me for that. I can't lose her. I don't think I'd survive. So, please, Jasper, this can't go any further. As much as I want you and this, I don't want to lose Alice. I can't lose, Alice."

Tears were streaming freely down her face as she finished her speech. I grabbed her wrists and pulled her close to me. I kissed her forehead and gently stroked her hair.

"Shhhh, honey. It's okay." I whispered trying to calm her. "I understand how you feel and I know that you're."

And I did. Alice was my wife and mate and I loved her very much. Probably more than I loved, myself. My feelings for her, paled in comparison to my feelings for Bella. However, Alice saved my life in more ways than one. She came to me, not knowing what she was getting herself into, and helped to pull me through the darkest time in my life. I couldn't just abandon her now, not even with what I was feeling for Bella right now. It wouldn't be right or fair to Alice. Especially after I promised her that she didn't have to worry about losing me to Bella. I couldn't break that promise because it would break her. And niether Bella nor I wanted to see Alice broken.

Bella stopped sobbing after a minute and pulled away from me.

"So what do we do?" she asked.

"We do what we've been doing. We ignore these new feelings and move on with life as brother and sister. What happened just now, will stay in this room between the two of us. Nobody can find out. It's going to be a long and difficult fight for both of us, but we have to do it, for Alice's sake." I answered.

"For Alice's sake." Bella said before breaking down again.

I pulled her back to me feeling her sorrow, pain, and guilt over what just happened wash over mine. I simply held her and allowed her to let all the pain and guilt out as she cried. I comforted her the best I could, but knew in the end, it wouldn't do any good.

A/N: Wow, longest chappie so far. I'm excited. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know you're all probably upset by the end of it though, but please put the torches and pitchforks away. They love Alice and don't want to hurt her, regardless of their feelings for each other. But don't worry, it's going to be okay soon. I promise, please review.