"It's a bit cold in here, isn't it?"
Voldemort stared at the ceiling, and from beside him, Bellatrix agreed,
"It is a little cold, Master. Calesco."
"Thanks," he murmured. He folded his hands over his stomach and pondered that she was extraordinarily beautiful and that he did want her, badly. His eyes watered for some reason as he remembered the way Rodolphus Lestrange's mind had been dreaming of a life with Bellatrix, the way the young wizard had looked at her as he'd nervously brought up dinner again. Rodolphus wasn't too old for her the way Voldemort was. Rodolphus probably didn't have the bodily concerns of a middle-aged man. He was just a boy, and Bellatrix was just a girl. They were Purebloods, the both of them.
"Master?" Her voice was tentative and quiet. Voldemort silently turned his face to her, reaching to tuck her curls behind her ear. She asked him, "Is there any… any part of me that you might like to touch? Anything I could do for you?"
To get him hard, she meant. He licked his lip and shrugged a little.
"This has nothing to do with desire, Bella. You're beautiful. But you know how old I am. Much closer to forty-four than forty-three. Men my age - wizard and Muggle alike - are often afflicted with this… condition. It is natural for it to happen. I'm just surprised that potions and spells aren't working. But it's hardly as though I can march into a Healer's office and ask for treatment. I'm the Dark Lord."
Bellatrix reached for him beneath the blankets. He resisted the urge to push her hand away in his mortification. He stared at the little swell of her breasts, at her lovely eyes, and he set his mind to fucking her. But it was no use. He was small and soft in her hand, and he finally shook his head a little. Bellatrix pulled her hand away and noted tentatively,
"The first time I ever Imperiused you, when we were practising for the Draining, you came right when I told you to."
"Yes," Voldemort agreed, his mind coming alive a little. "That's not something that normally happens on demand, but I did finish straight away when you commanded it."
Bellatrix pulled her teeth over her bottom lip and nervously reached for her wand, sitting up slowly.
"Master," she whispered, "may I try?"
Voldemort huffed a little and nodded. "Just to see if it's physically possible. All right."
He steeled himself for her spell, ready to absorb it and soak in her control. He watched her sit up straight and aim her wand at him, and she said very seriously,
"Imperio."
Green smoke washed over Voldemort, and he breathed it in like it was a drug. A little buzz in his mind told him Bellatrix was in there, that she was in charge now. He shifted a little where he lay as she silently willed him hard. It was uncomfortable, for some reason.
"Get hard for me," Bellatrix said heavily. "My Lord. Make the blood rush to your cock. Get it hard."
"I'm… I'm trying." The words came out before Voldemort could stop them. A sudden, awful thought entered his mind - that if he was going to be an impotent old man and she was going to be a beautiful young woman, she should be with someone else. His breath hitched and his gut clenched at that idea, and he shook his head as he reached for his pyjama trousers. He shoved his hand beneath the waistband and tried desperately to stimulate himself. He studied Bellatrix's chest, her little waist, her pretty curls and face. Nothing.
"Please stop this," he whispered, and Bellatrix nodded.
"Finite Incantatem."
Voldemort ripped his hand from his trousers and shut his eyes as Bellatrix lay back down. He waited for a while and then said with his eyes closed,
"He is very much in love with you, and if you wait, he will marry someone else. Then you'll have to marry someone who does not love you, and I want better for you than that."
"Rodolphus?" Bellatrix sounded wounded. "Master, I… I just don't want to get married. I'm yours. I'm your servant, your soldier, your… I'm here, with you, in Cornwall. I don't want a husband."
"You are a member of the House of Black," Voldemort said sharply, "and my movement depends upon Pureblood traditions being maintained. I can not marry you. You must marry within the Sacred Twenty-Eight. I will not allow any of the boys who hurt you, nor any other old wizard, to take you away from me. At least he loves you."
"Please." Bellatrix's voice broke a little beside him, but Voldemort took a shaking breath and told her,
"Go to Veles. Send Rodolphus Lestrange a letter. You'll be having dinner with him tomorrow at Castle Lestrange."
"Please," Bellatrix whispered again, but Voldemort wrenched his eyes shut and hissed,
"Go. Send the owl. Sleep in the blue bedroom."
There was quiet except for her trembling breath, and then finally he felt her move off of the bed. She sounded almost angry then as she informed him,
"I would gladly be yours, absent any marriage, regardless of the state of your… your genitals, Master. I only want you. I love you."
"Goodnight, Bellatrix." Voldemort rolled away from her and pulled the blankets up a little, and he heard her murmur,
"Goodnight, My Lord."
"Bella. Welcome to Castle Lestrange." Rodolphus smiled as the House-Elf brought Bellatrix into the small but elegantly appointed dining room. He shooed the House-Elf away, and Bellatrix tugged at her caped, short black dress a little. She'd worn high heels and a low neckline. She'd put on heavy makeup. So she wasn't entirely surprised when Rodolphus said nervously, "You look lovely."
"Thanks. Erm… thank you for having me," Bellatrix said, feeling sick. She cleared her throat a little and followed Rodolphus to a chair, which he pulled out for her. She sat, and he moved to sit opposite her. Food appeared on the plates - grilled salmon and roast potato and haricots verts. Rodolphus waited for Bellatrix to take a bite of food and a sip of white wine, and he finally admitted,
"I'm so glad you've come, but I must admit, I was… surprised… to receive your owl. The Dark Lord seemed to make it quite clear that you and he were… well, together. Exclusively."
"He needs to be alone right now." Bellatrix stared at her salmon and swallowed hard. Rodolphus seemed to take the cue not to ask any more about the matter, and their conversation focused on memories from school and notes on the ancient Lestrange estate. Bellatrix ate her trifle in silence as Rodolphus said anxiously,
"I quite like being a Death Eater. I like battle. That's probably an awful thing to think, but…"
"No." Bellatrix picked up her after-dinner mint and sucked on it as it dissolved in her mouth. She raised her eyes to study Rodolphus' soft, gentle face, and she told him, "I like battle, too. It's not only Gryffindors who are brave."
"So far, I've found them rather cowardly," Rodolphus smirked. He popped his own mint into his mouth, and after it dissolved, he said, "I watched Albus Dumbledore flee from that battle like a complete child. I'd kill him if I got the chance, with or without the bounty. I just want to see him dead, to bring his wand as a trophy to the Dark Lord."
"That would be an act of supreme bravery, I think," Bellatrix nodded. She thought of Voldemort, of how cold and distant he'd been all day, and she shut her eyes for a moment. Could she be happy with Rodolphus Lestrange? Could she be happy here, in this castle?
"I should probably go back… home…" Bellatrix opened her eyes and felt more confused than ever. Her lip shook a little as she stood, and Rodolphus flew to his feet. He came walking quickly around the table and gave her an understanding sort of look.
"I'm not an idiot," he told her. "I know that I'd be your second choice by far. You don't even want to choose. I can tell. But there are… there are things expected of us. Of people who come from our background. I promise you, Bella… I would be gentle and kind to you."
"You're in love with me," Bellatrix said firmly. Rodolphus' mouth fell open, but Bellatrix told him, "The Dark Lord saw it with Legilimency. He could tell. He knows that you love me."
"I…" Rodolphus' eyes welled a little, and he shrugged. "I feel strongly about you."
He would be gentle and kind, Bellatrix thought. Was that what she wanted, if she couldn't have Lord Voldemort? She swallowed hard and reached up to seize Rodolphus' face.
"Kiss me," she whispered, and Rodolphus' hands went hesitantly to her waist. He took a step toward her and lowered his face. Bellatrix wrenched him down against her, thrusting her tongue up between his lips. Rodolphus grunted in surprise, and suddenly Bellatrix was following him down onto her dining chair. She straddled his waist and kept kissing him, tasting mint on his clumsy tongue.
He started to go hard beneath her, so she began grinding her hips onto him. He gasped, and she moved her mouth to his neck. Rodolphus rubbed at her back and said breathlessly,
"Bella… oh. Oh, Bella…"
"You've wanted this," she noted, and he nodded frantically. She kissed his round, soft cheek and caressed his short, thick hair. She circled her hips down against him, and Rodolphus tipped his head back and let out a desperate noise, his fingers cinching on Bellatrix's back. She watched his eyes shut, listened to his rickety breath, and she realised he was coming.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his cheeks flushed pink. Bellatrix brushed her lips against his neck and murmured,
"No. It's all right. You liked it. Nothing wrong with that."
"Can I… Can I just…" Rodolphus reached for his wand, and Bellatrix quickly scrambled off of him. He turned away a little, aimed his wand at his trousers, and mumbled, "Tergeo. Scourgify."
Bellatrix chewed hard at her lip and started to cry. She shook her head where she stood. Rodolphus would be gentle and kind, but that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted Lord Voldemort. Even if she couldn't have Voldemort, she didn't want Rodolphus Lestrange.
"I can't do this," she whispered. Rodolphus stood from the chair and nodded sadly.
"I… I don't want you to feel any pressure, Bella. Thank you for coming for dinner."
"I need to go." Bellatrix swiped roughly at her eyes, and she started to walk quickly out of the dining room. "I need to go back to him."
"Bella?"
She whirled around to see Rodolphus in the corridor. He just nodded at her and said very kindly,
"There are many reasons I feel the way I do about you. One of them is that you know what you want and you get it. I just want you to be happy, whether that has anything to do with me or not. Please let the Dark Lord know that I fully understand. That I won't pursue you if you don't want it."
Bellatrix nodded and tipped her chin up. "Thanks for dinner, Rodolphus. Goodnight."
Then she Disapparated from where she stood, coming to in the parlour of the house in Cornwall. It was dark, and as she walked through the house, she could hear waves. It was chilly, too, and she could feel the breeze blowing through the house. She walked toward the door that led to the decking, seeing that a few lanterns had been lit outside.
He was there. Lord Voldemort was leaning against the rail, staring out at the churning black sea. Bellatrix felt her stomach flop, and she carefully made her way out the open door and stood a little ways away from Voldemort near the railing. He kept his eyes trained forward and asked blandly,
"How was dinner?"
"I don't much like salmon," Bellatrix replied. She felt nauseated all of a sudden, and her eyes burned like mad. She started to cry again, feeling stupid for doing so. She swiped her tight sleeve at her eyes, wondering if she had eyeliner all over her face.
"I can feel the throb of sex in your mind," Voldemort said, and Bellatrix shook her head.
"No. Not quite. He came in his trousers."
Voldemort looked completely disgusted, his back heaving a little. He shook his head and said quietly,
"You kissed him."
"Yes." Bellatrix approached Voldemort and said quite firmly, "Unless you order me to do it, I will not marry him, My Lord. He is a good man. He does love me. But I can't… I would so much rather be alone. I understand that I can't -"
"Marry me," he finished, and Bellatrix nodded.
"Right. I understand that that will never happen, but I -"
"Marry me," Voldemort said again, finally turning his eyes from the sea. Bellatrix froze, her chest going tight and her stomach churning with confusion. She shook her head a little and whispered,
"I don't understand, Master."
"It… it wouldn't be for some time," he said, looking pale and tired all of a sudden. "I need to achieve my full power before I can be a married wizard. But I fail to see how there could be… a better match for you…"
He shut his eyes and started to pace on the deck a little, sounding anxious and frantic as he said in a low, quick voice,
"It's only been a matter of months since we first came here and you helped me through the ordeal of not having magic. It hasn't been long enough, probably, for me to fall in love with you. But I didn't know I could love anybody until it was too late, until I already loved you. And I nearly vomited tonight, thinking about you with that boy. Heartache always seemed like a fantasy, like an idea drummed up by romantics to excuse their silliness. But my heart ached very badly tonight, Bellatrix. It would need to be a while from now. I am too old for you, I know. I'll fix the impotence issue. I promise. I know I'm too old, that you'll have to wait, but I… I cannot fathom any alternative."
Bellatrix leaned onto the railing for support as he stopped rambling and finally turned face her. He shook his head and pleaded,
"Don't make me get onto a knee."
"I don't care if I have to wait twenty-five years to do it," Bellatrix informed him confidently. "Marrying you would be the greatest accomplishment in my entire life."
He approached her then, aiming his wand at her. "Scourgify. Scourgify Trio."
He was cleaning Rodolphus off of her, she knew. She let him do it, let him cleanse her with his magic until every trace of Rodolphus' kisses were gone. Voldemort took her face in his hands, the length of his wand pressed against her cheek, and he whispered,
"It almost broke me. Thinking of you marrying him… anyone else. I need you to wait, and I can't put a pretty ring on your finger, but I… I do need you to marry me."
"Yes, Master." Bellatrix let her tears flow freely then, and when he kissed her, she reached on instinct for the front of his trousers. As their kiss deepened, Voldemort's breath quickened in his nostrils and his voice buzzed low against Bellatrix's mouth. She gasped when she felt him start to harden beneath her touch, and then he ripped his mouth from hers and muttered,
"It's cold out here. Upstairs. Now."
Author's Note: If you're like me and thoroughly enjoy possessive/emotional Voldemort, raise your hand! If you want to see Voldemort try and overcome his impotence in a juicy lil lemon, raise your other hand!