A/N: the memories in this chapter may be different than how they were in the show, especially the school shooting; i changed how that happened obciously because Keith is alive in my story. anyway, i hope you enjoy and i love the reviews )

Chapter Twenty: Good Times, Bad Times

He remembers he hadn't wanted to let Haley back into his life right away when she came back. He was still hurting then, he remembers and he wasn't sure he could trust her again. He wanted to…but he couldn't trust that he could…

Haley entered his room and leaned against his wall.

"Are you awake?" She asked.

"Yeah." He replied softly. He couldn't sleep because he couldn't stop thinking about her.

"Will you talk to me? Please?" She asked moving closer to his bed.

"I don't know what to say to you, Haley. Part of me just wants to find the words to hurt you…the same way you hurt me."

"I am hurting, Nathan."

He sat up in his bed and replied, "You mean because I made out with Chris…because I turned my back on us and walked away? Oh, wait…that was you."

He laid back down.

"Always and forever." He heard her sigh.

"What?"

She shook her head and said, "Nothing."

"Hales…" he said before she could leave the room immediately, she turned back around.

"Nathan…please, I just…." She said walking quickly toward him and lying on top of him on the bed and hugging him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as he hugged her back. "I'm so sorry."

She kissed his cheek, and then met his lips. He gave in once, but then pushed her away.

"Haley…I can't do this. I'm sorry…you…you need to go." She stared at him. "Please."

Haley sat up and said, "I understand…if you don't love me anymore."

She climbed off the bed and walked to the door. Nathan sat up again and said, "Always and forever…"

Haley turned around as he finished, "That's what sucks Haley. I still do love you, I always will…I just can't trust you."

She'd looked so hurt, he remembers. But, then again…he was hurt too. He had left for High Flyers the following morning. He spent three months at that basketball camp…training, making himself a better player, but still thinking about Haley and wondering if she was still home in Tree Hill or if she had left again when he left.

But he had come home after camp, just in time for the start of his senior year and found she was still in Tree Hill. She was living with Brooke in the apartment they used to share. He remembers Haley promised him that she wasn't going anywhere that she was home for good.

And she was there, he remembers. But it had taken him some time before he let her back in. He even remembers he had considered a divorce at one point…

He stepped up to her door, previously their door and he knocked. Fifteen seconds later, Haley opened it. She looked surprised to see him.

"Hey." She said.

"Nice place." He returned sarcastically. "Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah." Haley agreed before following him out of the apartment.

"They walked side by side along the lit up street; Nathan with his hands in his jean pockets.

"I'm glad it was you who stopped by." Haley said, breaking the silence as they walked. "Living with Brooke, you never know who's going to come in for a late night booty call."

"Look, um…" Nathan began, wanting to get straight to the point. "I've been doing some thinking…about us, about what we're going to do. And, um…I still have the annulment papers, but…if we get an annulment, that means that our marriage never happened and that would be a lie. We had a lot of good times together, Haley. I don't want to pretend like we didn't."

"Neither do I." Haley said, looking up at him as they walked.

He hesitated to continue with the rest of his words. He knew they would hurt her, shock her even, but he needed to say it. "So instead of having an annulment, I've looked into a divorce."

Haley stopped walking at once and stared at him with the shock he had expected. Nathan stopped walking too and turned around to face her as he continued, "The state says we'd have to be separated for a year."

"What?" Haley still sounded surprised by all this. "What, um…what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I…I think we should see what happened between now and then."

Haley stepped up closer to him and said, "Nathan, I love you. And I know that we can work this out and a year from now, things will be good for us again."

"Maybe…" Nathan shrugged his shoulders. "But maybe not. I guess we'll just have to see."

And so they had waited. But he remembers now that it hadn't taken them a year to get back to being in love and together again. They spent time together at school and after practice and slowly he had learned to trust her again. He had learned to show her his heart again and became able to trust her with his heart and feelings and lean on her when he'd had a bad day…

He sat on his bed, waiting for Hale after listening to the demo, "Halo" she'd recorded and he had gotten back from Chris. It had been a pretty weird and rocky night and he just needed someone to talk to…he needed Haley.

"Hi." She waved as she entered his bedroom.

He looked back and replied, "Hey. Thanks for coming."

"Yeah, thanks for calling me. What's wrong?"

He smiled at her and said, "Your song's great, Haley. Chris played it for me. It's a long story, but uh it's really great. I just wanted you to know that."

"Oh/" Haley smiled back. "Okay."

He still wanted to talk, so he brought up what he'd been thinking about.

"My mom left…for good, I think." He looked at Haley, who looked worried for him as she stepped closer. "Oh, and apparently my dad's the mayor now. Yeah, so today just really sucked ass."

Haley sat down nest to him as she said, "Oh Nathan, I am so sorry."

He looked at her and spoke again, "You know, for most of my life, I would've gone through this alone. And then I met you and I finally found someone I could depend on when life got like this."

He paused and she showed she was listening.

"So I guess I called you because I wanted to know if that was still there."

Haley nodded assuring, "Nathan, you can always call me…always and forever."

She chuckled and oh, how much he loved her smile. Then, she spoke.

"I want to ask you something. The night of the masquerade party, did we, um…did you kiss me?"

He didn't answer right away because he knew he hadn't and that it was Chris who had. But that didn't matter anymore…Chris was gone. And besides…all that mattered was Haley.

"Of course I did." He answered before kissing her.

After the kiss, Haley stopped him and said, "Oh, no you didn't."

She opened her eyes, smiled and said, "That kiss wasn't half as good as this one. But I love you for lying to me."

They stared at each other for a moment longer before she kissed his cheek and said, "Thanks for calling."

She stood up and walked to the door to leave, but he did not want her to go. He liked talking to her again. He liked how she made him feel better. And he wanted to be with her tonight…for real.

"Haley…" he called out to her and she turned around with a smile in the doorway. He looked down at the bed, then looked up and said, "Stay with me tonight."

She was still smiling as she said, "Oh…I was hoping you would say that. And he smiled back at her as she closed the door.

They were together a lot more after that. That night brought them closer than they had been in months. But now he thinks, he feels like there was something else that had brought them closer too…something that had made him see how short life is and had shown him how close he had come to losing her. But what was it?

Oh yeah…he remembers now. It was a school shooting…during senior year. The day Jimmy Edwards had brought a gun to school and held him, Haley and several other hostages in the tutor center. It was such a tragedy, he remembers. Jimmy had been so lonely, so afraid and in so much pain that he had killed himself to end his suffering…

"It doesn't have to be like this, man." Nathan had said to Jimmy, who stood at the door with the gun in his hand and ready to shoot anyone who got in his way.

"Things can get better." Nathan finished.

"No they can't…I can't fix this." Jimmy cried. "It's over."

"Yes, you can Jim…you can fix this." Mouth had tried to help Jimmy too. "Nathan's right. You can feel better again."

"No, I can't…"

"Sure you can Jimmy." Hale had said. "You can talk to someone…a counselor, maybe or—"

"No…" Jimmy said as he stepped into the hall away from them. "It doesn't matter anymore."

And he had pointed the gun at his chest and they watched him pull the trigger, ending his life…

Jimmy had not survived, he remembers now. And everyone there that day had spent months getting over that tragedy, including him and Haley. They had grieved and came closer together. He had realized how life could close in on anyone at any moment and he had decided he couldn't, and didn't want to, waste anymore time in not being completely with her like they used to be, as husband and wife. After that day, they had moved back in together and a few weeks later he'd proposed again…he remembers when he had proposed to her again…

"Oh man." Haley had said as she and Nathan walked together onto the dock by the river in the woods. "This view is so beautiful from the dock."

"Well you know, docks are kind of special for us." Nathan said. "Remember the time Dan busted us for drinking?"

"Oh don't remind me." She and Nathan both chuckled. "Although, I do have to say, I did kind of enjoy throwing up on him."

They laughed again.

"So, hey," Nathan spoke again. "I couldn't help but notice that you've had your hands in your pockets all weekend. What's that about?"

"I guess I can't really hide it from you," Haley replied as they reached the end of the dock and stopped. "Um…I lost my ring…twice and I'm really sorry."

Nathan sort of smiled as she went on, "I know you're probably really disappointed in me—"

"You mean this ring?" Nathan interrupted when he pulled her wedding ring from his pocket. He grinned wider.

Haley sighed, "Yeah, where did you find that?"

"I kind of stole it—twice."

Haley stared at him with a you did what look. Nathan stared back and got down to one knee.

"What are you doing?" Haley wondered.

"Haley…" he said. "Over the past year, I learned so much about life and love. And even if I could, I wouldn't take back all the bad stuff that's happened between us. 'Cause it brought us here, to this moment, this river."

He took her hand in his and slid her wedding ring back on her finger and said, "Marry me, Haley. Marry me again in front of all our friends and family."

"Always." Haley said as she smiled and Nathan stood up. "Always and forever."

And they kissed. Afterwards, Haley laughed as she took his ring from his necklace and slid it back on his finger. They laughed and kissed again.