We stepped into the hospital room, bags in hand, my arm around Olga's waist to help steady her and took a look around.
"Well, this is... nice," I managed and Olga nodded her head weakly as Arnold forced a smile and took another step into the room before dropping the bags he had in hand and turned around.
"It isn't so bad," he said before walking towards the window and opening the curtains to reveal bright sunlight that I had to shield my eyes from and blink a few times just to adjust my eyes to the light. "I mean, it has a great view."
"Great view, schmiew," I repeated. "We're in a HOSPITAL. It's the very thing Olga didn't even want." I grumbled while plopping my bags down and helping Olga to sit on the bed.
"You know," Olga said, "I won't be here very long. They said hospice will let me move back into the house in a few days."
"I know," I replied while sitting down on the chair opposite her, "but this whole process is ridiculous just the same."
"Still." She said before turning to look at both Arnold and I, a small smile on her face. "You know what I always do when I find myself in unfortunate situations?" She asked and Arnold and I shared a look before he responded.
"What's that?"
"I put on some music, set up my camera, and just dance." She said and I raised my brow.
"Why set up a camera?" I asked and she chuckled.
"So I can watch myself later and laugh at how silly I look. I find that it makes the situation seem less horrid and much more tolerable if you can find something to laugh about."
I sighed, "That's all fine and dandy, Olga, but you can hardly walk more or less dance."
"I know," she said sadly before perking up. "But we are in a hospital. So if I fall or anything, someone can come and help me."
Arnold chimed in, "That seems like a hefty price to pay just for a little bit of laughter."
"Maybe so, but I think the three of us could use some cheering up, don't you think?" She asked, and I looked at Arnold as he nodded his head and I realized that I couldn't say no to her. She was dying right before my eyes and how many more chances was I going to get like this to make her genuinely happy?
"Alright, Olga," I said hesitantly. "We'll try it. Arnold, you wanna play some music? Something fun and upbeat?"
"I know just the song," he said while thumbing through his phone to locate it and I pulled out my own phone to locate the camera and set it up while placing it carefully on the table so it could watch us dance in the main area of the room.
I helped Olga stand up and walk her to the middle of the room where Arnold was waiting with his phone and I asked if they were ready. With a nod of their heads, I walked to my phone and hit record just as Arnold let "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" resound through the speakers of his phone and off we went dancing.
We danced and danced, letting loose all our fears and thoughts for the entirety of the song. We danced alone, we danced together, laughing and embracing all that we were in that moment- the song playing through us as the moment was caught on camera.
I watched us dance on the small screen in front of my eyes, tears welling in them as we laughed through the speakers of my phone. I couldn't laugh. I couldn't feel the moments of the memory caught on camera. I could only feel sadness knowing that the moment had passed; Olga with it. Now it was just a video stuck on my memory card and I was the lone viewer of something long gone.
Arnold knocked on the door of our room in the apartment and I quickly shut the phone off and stuck it under the pillow of the bed. "Hey, what are you up to?"
"Nothing just uh... just..." I struggled, but Arnold was smart, not dense like he was when he was a kid.
"Are you watching the video again?" He asked and reluctantly, I nodded my head.
"Yeah, yeah, I am." I said sadly and he moved to sit beside me on the bed and wrap an arm around my shoulders.
"You know, that was a happy memory. Not one that you should cry over. She meant for it to make us smile and laugh." He said but I couldn't take in his advice. I only cried harder.
"It's just...so...HARD, you know? Her being gone and me being stuck behind with all of...of... THIS!" I exclaimed while gesturing to the boxes left around the room. "And this," I said while pulling out my phone, "It doesn't make me happy, it makes me sad that she isn't around to see it anymore. That she didn't pull through and can't see it anymore. She can't laugh, she can't enjoy it, she can't... ANYTHING anymore."
"You're right," he said while nodding his head, "She can't. But we still can. We can watch that moment and enjoy it, but we can't live in that moment anymore. Because if we keep living in that moment and trying to do so, we'll only tear ourselves apart wishing we could."
I sighed, knowing everything he said made complete sense. "I guess you're right." I resigned to saying and he took the phone from my hands.
"Now, let's watch it, together, and take it for all it is... a memory of good times. Okay? Can we try that?" He asked and reluctantly I nodded my head.
Slowly, he hit play and we began to watch the scene over again, our laughs emitting through the speakers once more as I watched on in sadness that suddenly was filled with joy and soon laughter as the two of us laughed at the memory that once filled me with such despair.
Arnold was right, I couldn't live in the past. I could only live in the moment. And maybe that's what Olga was trying to teach us all along.
this is an outtake that was to take place after the epilogue, but i didn't have enough to go on to make an entire chapter. i saw a video online of a cancer patient dancing in their hospital room and it inspired me to write this.