Chapter 19: The Free Spirit Attends the Wedding.

Everything seemed so surreal to Yoochun. No one he knew was at the wedding dinner. He had missed the ceremony due to conflict with work, but he had made sure that he was on time for the dinner. A promise was a promise and he was a man of his words.

Upon entering the venue, which was at one of Seoul's finest hotels, he noticed that she had chosen the décor that they had agreed on for their ideal wedding. There was a long red carpet that led to the entrance to the dining hall and there were grand chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. The colour scheme of this wedding was in the shade of light yellow, faint orange, and a dash of brown. At the reception table, he recognized her parents, dressed in traditional clothing, greeting the guests. He hoped to quickly walk by without their noticing, but his presence was majestic, which was because of what he wore. He wore a grey pinstripe suit with metallic greyish-blue dress shoes, while most guests wore black. He grumbled to himself that he knew he should have worn something less attention-seeking, but ironically, he also wanted her to know that he was there. When he was about to cross the entrance to the hall, the father grabbed him by the arm and almost dragged him away. However, Yoochun immediately showed him the invitation, to which the father unwillingly let go of Yoochun's arm. Yoochun already felt that he was at the brink of distress. He kept thinking how this was a bad idea, but he still walked towards his assigned table.

When he took his seat at table six, he was the second to arrive. There was a woman, who looked to be in her late twenties to early thirties, to his right. Her long, wavy hair that stopped at the end of her chest blended with her dull, somnolent eyes. Her draped coral dress, gathered in tulip shape, had an oversized flower on her bodice. This contrasting combination of a happy dress and a dejected person was unusual for a wedding. He knew too that she was suffering; he just didn't know what was causing her misery. "I didn't expect you to be here," the lady abruptly stated in a monotonous tone. Her arms were tightly hugging herself.

Yoochun asked in a puzzling tone, "Excuse me, but who are you?" Once she lifted her head and directly faced him, Yoochun instantly recognized her. She was Soohwa's older sister, Junghwa. At the time of Yoochun's relationship with Soohwa, he had been introduced to their whole family. He had developed a close bond to every member of the family, especially with Junghwa, who often acted as a mediator between Soohwa and him. Junghwa greatly differed from Soohwa. Junghwa was like Yoochun, a thinker. Junghwa also preferred quietude and possessed a calm disposition. Yoochun was still surprised at her drastic change; the woman whose eyes used to be full of life was now withered and battered. It was as if she had given up on living. "I guess . . . it has been a long time," Yoochun finally answered. "So, I forgot what you looked like. You've changed."

"You too," she murmured. "If you were the same, you wouldn't have come."

Yoochun grinned, "I debated about attending this wedding for a while, but I felt it was time to move on."

Junghwa at once added, "I apologize on behalf of Soohwa for all the pain that she has inflicted on you. I still think you're the best guy for her."

"Thanks," Yoochun laughed. "So, are you encouraging me to start an affair with her or to elope with her?"

She shook her head as she smiled, "No, of course not. That would be ludicrous. I also know that you would never do that to her. You would have chased after her all this time if that were the case."

Yoochun's head hung low, "You know something pitiful?"

"What?"

"I think you probably know me better than she did," he then looked up with a grin.

Junghwa gave a few consoling words, "That's why I usually had to step in and help with your fights with her. Yoochun, don't feel too bad about this. At least you weren't married."

Yoochun wanted to ask why she seemed so bitter, why she had changed, but he for one did not dare to intrude with someone's privacy and secondly, the MC already started with the introductions. The bride was entering with the groom as if they were dancing side by side. Soohwa looked happy with him. Yoochun could tell because she was too cheerful to notice anyone. Plus, her dimples were thoroughly indented and her eyes were completely dazzling. He then noticed her extravagant wedding dress, fully decorated with beads and lace. It was the one that they had shopped for together, the one that she had finally persuaded him to adore. He had preferred a simple, white empire waist dress, but she yearned for everyone's attention. Now, she wore it, the ivory, strapless mermaid gown featuring a beaded empire waist by Pnina Tornai. He carelessly laughed at himself, at his folly for she was right. This dress was made for her.

When Soohwa sat down at her place, which was in front of everyone, Yoochun couldn't help thinking that the groom beside her would have been him. They had practically visited all the bridal shops and various hotels to plan for their perfect wedding even though they were not engaged at that time. Perhaps, that was also why she left him. She had left so many oblivious hints to him, nudging him that she wanted to be married. He, however, was blind and just tagged along with her, being dragged here and there, being pushed to listen to her desires.

Suddenly, he heard a clink coming from a table to his far right. This noise escalated to an uproar of cutlery hitting the wine glasses, along with a repeated chant of "kiss, kiss, kiss". Although Soohwa was hesitant at first, once the groom winked at her, she succumbed to the audience's pleas. As Yoochun watched the two inching closer and closer to each other's lips, he felt the urge to dash away. His legs had flinched and he instantly stood up. Excusing himself from the table, he exited the entrance and walked to the lobby of the hotel. He took a seat in one of the French arm rests and inhaled a deep breath.

He still couldn't go forth with his decision. Brushing his fingers along his spiked hair in frustration, he wondered why he was acting so pusillanimous. Fear had reached all parts of his body and had instructed him to escape. If he hadn't, would he do something absurd or shameful? Yoochun closed his eyes and wished that he had the ability to go back in time. He would have arrived later and missed the scene. Then, he wouldn't feel this way, but he had to push himself to reality. Dreams were meant for sleeping, not for living. He couldn't get himself to open his eyes; tears would spatter and there was no one to reassure him. Perhaps, he would visit the bar tonight and drink away his sorrows. Wasn't that what he had been doing for a few years? Why were old habits hard to break?

He felt that he didn't know anything anymore, what he wanted, what he loved, and what he hated. He just wanted to know what to do. Why wasn't he a prophet? He could listen to someone's orders and forget about everything. That would mean that he should have listened to Soohwa. He was the stoic one.

There was too much contradiction and complication running through Yoochun's mind. Can anyone save me, he asked himself. Was there anyone to save him?