P O V: Nathan

Song: I Got 1

Artist: BG5

February 4th

"Have you ever had a tour Nathan?" Mom turned to me asking excitedly. "Just when it first opened but it was so crowded that day so I couldn't really see it all" "Well let's start now" She grabbed my elbow with so must gusto I almost lost my balance thank god I am quick on my feet.

The cool February winds were sweeping across the dusty skies as we exited the hospital it felt great to have some fresh air. We could of easily gone through the hospital but I was glad we didn't.

Looking around I couldn't help but admire how beautiful this area was they really kept it well gardened. Lush rich colorful tresses lined the walkways providing plenty of shade with benches that took on the shapes of stars, moon, sun, guitars, green crisp lawn which had picnic areas. The main building was separated from the Children's Oncology/ Hematology center by a mini lake with colorful fish swimming a bridge went over it. Mom wrapped her arms around me as we walked at a steady pace. The winds turning slightly colder now as the sun set further down.

"Nathan I want you to know that even though I disagree with you skipping school, I am proud of you for being a man stepping up to take care of Brooke. I know you consider her more of a sister"

She was sending me mixed signals so she was proud of me yet she disagreed how could it be both? I didn't argue I've learned with my parents over the years sometimes just keeping you're mouth shut was my best choice.

I tried to read her eyes which was it pride or disappointment was she just trying to save face? I mean this was what she had preached to me all my life to be loyal to not judge to give compassion to other kids. Something I admit in the last year or so I've shown a lack of compassion or concern for any other kid not in my popular circle.

It was hard to tell what she felt when she talked to me. Her eyes didn't glow with pride like they did when we entered the Deborah Scott Pediatric Adolescent Oncology/ Hematology Center. The new addition was built two years ago funded by my mom hence the name, it's connected to the main hospital yet has separate entrance from the outside as well.

The lobby always takes my breath away it's around 6 feet from floor to ceiling it looks like a freaking rain forest tall palm tress line the walls and inner space. Mini water fountains with rainbow waterfalls. The walls are beautiful painted murals that Peyton helped design and paint along with various art students from local colleges and schools. Each wall holds a different mural their all equally as brilliant in color.

The floor is Tye-Dye colored tiles animal paw prints lining the way from the glass revolving doors. To the recipient desk, to the coffee shop, gift shop. I suddenly had an idea dashing into the gift shop as mom kept walking not even noticing, I wasn't following she was already talking in full animation to the lady behind the front desk. Dashing inside the shop I looked around smiling as I saw the display of beautiful fresh flowers that are delivered everyday. What kind of flowers would Haley want? Was she allergic to any? I shot a quick text to Quinn. Please answer.

Glancing around dodging the steam of visitors I tried to spot anything I could get to show Haley how serious I was. How sorry I was for judging her, making fun of her over the years. Music played over the loud system but not the boring old stuff fun catchy current pop hits. Brooke would love that. My phone blared out my default ring-tone Thug Mansion by Tpuc reaching for it too fast. I slipped my phone falling out of my hands falling to the floor skipping down a few feet. People gave me strange looks some parents covering their kids ears as I got nasty looks.

My checks filled with color as I grabbed it stumbling for the volume.

Incoming Text Quinn James:

"Aw you're so sweet to get her flowers :/ she loves roses duh every girl does but she also loves daisies, verbenas"

What the hell was a verbenas? That didn't sound too pretty but if that's what she liked sure why not. Going to the counter I gave a smile to the teen girl working behind it popping her gum looking bored she piped up seeing me fixing her hair. "Hey baby you looking tight tonight" Giggling was the response I got way too easy man. "What can I get for you? Oh My god you are so hot!" "Thanks darling do you happen to have any… I looked at the name again Verbenas?" She probably had no clue what they were so I wasn't holding out any hope till I saw her shot up "Oh yes right over here" She lead me over to a display filled with gorgeous flowers. I quickly bought some for Haley than picked up some roses for Brooke. As I turned I saw a display of cuddly stuffed animals. Grabbing two I brought them to the counter. "Aw your girlfriend must be so lucky" "They are" Her eyes went wide as I said they are. Grinning I paid for the purchases leaving her dumbfounded as I walked out to see my mom standing at the desk hand on her hip looking equally as lost.

"Mom sorry I had to make a stop" She exhaled as I jogged over to her "Aw sweetie are they for Brooke?" "Ah the roses and the kitty are, I bought the others for Haley I'm hoping she'll tutor me"

"Darling that is so sweet I'm sure Haley will say yes who could resit my handsome charming son, as far as Brooke before you bring them in I have to check her counts she can't have anything that can contain bacteria it could make her even sicker"

Dang it how did I not think about that? Clear your head Nathan stop thinking about Haley's gorgeous smile or those amazing hips. Wait what? "Nedra this is my handsome boy Nathan"

Mom took Brooke's gifts leaving me free to shake hands with Nedra who was behind the desk. We said goodbye going to the elevators shaped like leopards. The new building is thirteen floors the first two are for outpatients. We passed them heading up further the third floor is where all the testing, radiation areas are located plus the Chemotherapy room. Floors 5-7 are officers, Eight is where the chapel and sky cafeteria are located floors 9-13 are for inpatients. Floor Nine is where the Babies to Five year olds are housed, Ten and Eleven are for Six to 12 year olds. Floors 12-13 are for 13-18 year olds. Patients can vist other units easy by a private elevator as long as the staff knows where they are.

We got off at the thirteenth floor heading to the west unit which brilliant shades of purple/ pink/ orange/ reds line every inch each wall a mural of happy smiling kids some bald some with wild hair some with normal, dancing kids kids chasing pets it represented the innocence of childhood. Quinn had taken most of the photo's along with local photography students in schools, colleges.

As we approached 13 West we heard a very excited "Dr. Scott!" The giggling form of eight year old Abby Wellington came racing up attached to her IV. "Miss Abby what are you doing out of bed?" "Waiting for you! I wanted to be the first to show you!" "Show me what sweet baby?" She pulled out a colorful picture of her holding hands with my mom. "Thank you Dr. Scott for making me well again" Abby hugged her I saw my mom blush as she hugged her. "Abby your making yourself well" "I am?" She looked at her confused. Mom pulled her into her lap as she explained "See baby all I am doing is giving you the medicine it's your strength that is making you well, Your positive thoughts your adorable smile and your sheer will to get out and be a normal kid that's what is making you well"

I was proud of my mom she really was making a difference Abby was so sweet it hurt to know she was battling such a hideous monster. Cancer was truly evil it showed no mercy no matter how young the body it was hiding in was. It's hard to believe I use to be jealous of these kids I felt the shame creep up on me. Let it go Nathan you were a kid yourself you didn't know. It didn't escape me though that I should of known, she's my mom it's not just her job but her passion to make kids well. How could I not have taken an interest in her work? Maybe if I had maybe I would've known the signs to look for maybe I would of caught it before Brooke became so ill.

"Nathan sweetie stop it, I know what you're thinking I see it in your eyes" I look at her in what I suppose was shock cause she laughed grabbing my arm bringing me down to their level. "You were a child you didn't know what these kids went through, nor should you children should never know the pain of a serious illness they should all be able to laugh, play, dream and run free without a care in the world. I am so glad you had that as a kid, I wanted to shelter you from it both of you, that's why I didn't bring you here unless I had to"

"How did you know what I was thinking?" "I'm your mom Nate I knew you we're jealous as a kid, I also know you were smart enough to never say it out loud hence why I never felt the need to correct you. I knew someday you would get it. Don't feel bad babe it's a normal part of being human jealously anger envy pity we all feel those emotions and more, especially when we don't know what were facing"

I smiled at Abby who threw her arms around me "You're adorable Nathan you're mom always tells us about you will you teach me how to shoot a basketball when I get well?" "Sure Abby I'll help you" "Yay! I wanna be a basketball player when I get older! Than I can get the cute boys"

Helping my mom up I highfived Abby as her mom took her hand leading her away thanking my mom as we kept walking. Mom showed me the teen art gallery where patients can express themselves through art, writing music their work gets hung up in glass cases along the wall. A mixture of darkness, hope. A few of Peyton's hung up there as well. Than she showed me the wall of names one side was of donors who have contributed large amounts to the hospital. I saw Peyton's moms name running my fingers over it her dad had donated a large sum in her honor. I smiled remembering the ceremony where she was honored. Peyton was so proud of her she looked amazing in her little blue dress.

Strolling ahead of my mom who stayed to talk to Abby's Mom Janessa I saw all the rooms were brightly decorated with gleaming title floors of Tye dye of colors. The first few rooms we passed 1301-1325 were isolation rooms all single rooms. Than each room after that had two beds. The doors on the rooms were all glass sliding each one had the logo of the hospital on them in bright colors with my mom's name. Two bathrooms in those rooms along with two flat screen TV's every room had another room for the guest. Their big spacious even with the machines in them, a table sat in the corner with two chairs.

Two nursing stations were on the unit one by the private rooms the other down the hall by the double rooms. Mom made sure the unit had everything it would need for these kids to feel as normal as possible teens sat in the sun room relaxing on the bean bag chairs, couch watching TV, playing pool, listening to music, that room had a little bar in it where the kids could get juice, milkshakes, snacks. Next was a restroom for parents and siblings where they sat watching TV reading the paper, napping or playing with their younger kids.

There is also a music, art room I saw kids walking the halls some attached to IV some free, most wore gowns some were able to wear normal clothes, a few were in wheelchairs, many bald, some were to sick to leave their rooms. My heart broke for them hoping Brooke wouldn't be one of them.

Music caught my ears so I took a few steps back to see Haley and Quinn in the music room. Haley was playing her guitar as kids danced or bopped their heads to her beautiful voice, Quinn was snapping photo's of everyone some of the kids made silly faces or inappropriate jesters which Quinn would edit out later.

She didn't get mad though she just laughed and made equally silly faces, even busted out into a silly dance with some of the younger teens. I saw the neon sign on the wall that said Haley J's Jam- Jam. I wondered how someone my age got so much responsibility here. She clapped as she sung encouraging the kids to sing louder dance harder image their sending their cancer on a journey.

"I like flowers boy you know I'm into candy
I'll write my cell phone down I know it'll come in handy
You'll be sittin' baby wishing on a Saturday night
That you're with someone who knows how to treat you right
The you'll remember that piece of paper thats from me
The one I folded and you stuffed inside your blue jeans
And then you'll call me up.
My cell phones blowing up
My date 2nite you know i just stood him up."

Well she sang she likes flowers I took a deep breath it was now or never I let out a deep breath I was holding in starting to go inside dancing a little which made the kids laugh. I know I am a horrible dancer. Going closer to her I saw she wasn't even paying attention to me she had three young boys all flirting with her, five or six girls dancing by her smiling laughing trying to get her attention.

I got on one knee as I came in front of her several of the kids oohed some clapped she looked bewildered as she tried not to slip on her notes. "Marry him he's hot!" One of he teen girls yelled out as another yelled "Gurl ya cray if you don't I'll marry him!"

"Haley James will you please accept my apology and please consider being my tutor?"