Disclaimer: Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! Have no fear! The super boring yet still really boring disclaimer is here! Where is it you say? Right here! –Throws disclaimer at readers-
Bella POV
So here we were, walking into Victoria's Secret. Emmett looked like a little kid at Christmas, needless to say, and Rosalie's thoughts had gone way higher than PG. In fact, I don't ever think her thoughts had even been as low as PG 13. Jasper was picking up on everyone's emotions in the store, and they were all lusty. So, you could imagine just what was happening to poor Jasper (A/N: If you can't imagine things like that since your friends haven't successfully poisoned your mind yet, then…er…yeah. Too bad. XDDD.) Alice was trying to calm down Jasper by being calm although she was equally excited to be here. Edward and I were horrified. Yes, we were intimate, but that didn't mean we wanted to take daily trips to Victoria's Secret.
"A-alice, do we really have to be in here?" I moaned.
"Yes, of course we do!" Alice giggled, flitting around the store, grabbing something here and something there.
"But Mr. Sampson won't even see my bra! Or panties for that matter!" I shrieked. People turned to look at us, and I buried my face in my hands. I could feel Edward stroking my hair.
"Well, er…" She mumbled, suddenly too absorbed in looking for my bra size.
"What do you mean, 'well, er…'?! Does this mean he'll see my under garments?!"
"ALICE!" Edward yelled. I felt more stares.
"I was joking! Trying to cheer you up a bit!"
"Yes, because it makes me just cry tears of mirth whenever my step-sister jokes about my perverted teacher who is male possibly seeing me in my under garments. Hilarious, right Edward?"
"Very." He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
I groaned, and moved over to find a bra or two. I nearly jumped ten feet in the air when I heard Emmett boom,
"Bella! What's your bra size?" Oh god, he did not just yell that in a Victoria's Secret store.
And I nearly died for the second time when Alice yelled my size back at Emmett.
"Oh, dear god…" Edward's eyes were narrowed to slits, and he looked ready to pounce on Emmett dear and Alice dear. I moaned and turned around, back to the display. I was going to try to forget this ever happened…
"Bella?! Is that you?!" Was that…oh. My. God. This was not happening.
I whipped around to find the one, the only…Mike Newton. What the hell was he doing here, in Victoria's Secret?! Unless he was married to Jessica…
"Mike?! What the hell are you doing here?!" I shrieked. I saw an employee coming over to see what was happening.
"I might ask the same thing, Newton." I heard Edward snarl.
Mike looked like he was about to pee his pants, but it looked like it took all his willpower not too. Mike didn't even hear Emmett and Jasper come up behind him because when Emmett bellowed,
"MIKEY!" and when Jasper grabbed his shoulders, Mike screamed a very unmanly scream that sounded uncannily like a woman's. He was trying to bolt away, and Emmett effortlessly held him in place and turned him around to face me.
"Mike, what the hell are you doing here?!"
He puffed out his chest proudly and said in a deep voice probably practiced to impress me, "I work here."
I could feel my eye twitch. "You what?" Mike...Newton...worked...at...Victoria's Secret. Oh, wow.
"I work here." He said, oblivious to my discomfort. "Anything I can help you with?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and I heard Rosalie gag in the background.
"Mike, I've made it clear too many times. I don't like you. I'm married now." I turned around and was about to walk away, but there was that employee in front of me. And he looked a lot like…Riley. Mike and Riley. This was not happening. This was not happening. This was not happening.
"Bella?!" I was getting that a lot today.
"Riley." I said flatly.
"What are you doing here?!" He screeched. I saw Alice and Jasper cover their ears.
"Mowing the lawn, Riley." I said, flatly again.
"Oh, well. You do that." He chirped. Could this boy be anymore stupid?
"I'm shopping, Riley. Shopping." and I tried to turn around away from Riley. But Mike was blocking my path.
"So, Bella. I was thinking about a movie. You know?" He said, attempting to put an arm around my shoulders. I heard Edward growling, and I saw Emmett and Jasper holding him back. They were having a hard time doing it, because they were cracking up. Rosalie and Alice too. Just when I wanted people to see what was happening and have someone rescue me because my vampire family obviously wasn't doing so, they were all minding their own business. Agh.
"Bella, Bella, Bella. Don't pay attention to him," Riley spat, jerking his head in Mike's direction. "How about dinner, you and me? I know this great sea food place." I saw "Legal Sea Foods" in his head, and I had to hold back a choke.
"No, Riley."
"Whoa, Riley. Can't you just see that Bella isn't interested? She obviously wants me." Mike emphasized the 'me'. They both started to spit insults back and forth, both concerning how I "wanted" them. Oh, dear.
"She wants me! You tell him, Bella! You tell Riley!" Mike turned to me. My brain hatched an idea, and though it was a small one, it just might work. It would get me away, making me look less conspicuous. I looked at Mike, and put on a mask of confusion.
"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" I made a point of squinting at his name tag.
"Mic…Micha…Michael. Newton." I finally got out. I smiled sweetly at him.
"What a nice name you have!" I cooed. He looked shocked. Riley looked smug.
"Bella, it's me! Mike! From high school! Remember?" As I tried to back away, he grabbed my wrist and tried to pull me back. It wouldn't be normal to brake away, considering that he had probably been stronger than me when I'd been human, and that's all he saw me as. Human. So...
I scowled. "I'm sorry, but my mother says that I shouldn't talk to strangers." I broke out of his grip and hurried off. I could hear Emmett bellowing laughter, Alice's high pitched giggles, Rosalie's deep laugh, Edward's beautiful laughter, and Jasper was as usual, cackling like a hyena on crack, picking up on the mirth, once again.
I heard Riley's smug, "Ha! Bella likes me! And you don't even go to our high school!" Riley pranced off without another word, leaving a dumbstruck Mike standing there in the middle of a bra display.
Everyone caught up to me, now outside the store.
Rosalie choked out, "Oh my god, Bella! That was so hilarious!"
Emmett stuttered, "G-go Bella!" and then he was laughing crazily again.
Edward was laughing too hard to actually do anything, but his thoughts were pretty funny themselves.
Jasper here, needless to say, was still cackling like a hyena and Alice I could tell was a bit sorry for him. And Alice. She was giggling in her usual massage chair way.
"Aaaah. Bella, Bella, Bella. Didn't know you had in you." Emmett sighed. He patted me on the shoulder, sending me stumbling into Edward's waiting arms.
"That was hilarious, love."
"Glad to hear it."
Alice, being the Alice we love yet can't stand, had to ruin the moment.
"Okay! Next store is…Hot Topic! Let's go!"
"Can't we, you know, take a break?" I tried.
"Nope! Come along!"
I sighed in defeat. Alice skipped over to a map of the mall, and after a few moments, she let out an ear piercing, "WHAT?!"
"Good god, Alice! What's wrong?" Emmett cried.
"They don't have a Hot Topic! How could they?!" She shrieked. I noticed some people slowing down to watch what was happening. In the crowd were…no. How many stalkers of ours were we going to encounter today?!
Kelly, Dakota, and Perri. Perri gasped and pointed at us, or rather at the boys, and they rushed over.
"Edward, Jasper!" Perri squealed.
"And Emmett." Emmett said in an annoyed tone.
Perri didn't pay attention to Emmett, but instead she exclaimed to Edward,
"Edward! Fancy seeing you here!" Edward's mind was blank. Not a good thing.
"Big words are not for you, my friend…" Rosalie muttered.
Kelly gave Emmett a once over, and said too loudly, "Are you on steroids?"
Emmett, wearing his goofy smile, said, "Nope!" popping the 'P' at the end.
I didn't think it was possible, but now more people were staring.
"Then why are you," –sigh- "All muscle? Not that I object." And then she glanced at Jasper and giggled,
"Don't worry, Jerry. I haven't forgotten you." Jasper looked absolutely miserable.
"Jasper, how about you go try to see if there's a Wet Seal, here." A possessive Alice growled, an Alice we didn't usually see.
Kelly, before Jasper left, flung herself at him at cried, "Bye Jasper!"
"B-bye Kelly…" He stuttered, awkwardly patting her on the back.
She let him go, and Jasper walked over to the map, thinking,
The emotions. Oh, the emotions. Why the hell did I go on this shopping trip anyways?! Because Edward talked me into it, that's why. Curse you, Edward!
I rolled my eyes. He could be such a Drama King, and I'm sure Alice agreed.
I was just about to go to Edward, when an older lady, and very pretty, came up to us. She had to be at least in her mid twenties, and she was shamelessly staring at Edward. I cleared my throat,
"Erm...hello."
She reluctantly shifted her eyes from Edward to me. She gave me an unpleasant sneer and an even more unpleasant wink to Edward.
"I was just in Victoria's Secret." She said maliciously. That's...nice?
"That's...nice..."
"And I couldn't help but hear and see you yell something about a 'Mr. Sampson'."
...Oh...no.
"Yes..." Was she his sister? Girlfriend?
"Well, I just wanted to point out that I didn't like you using the words 'bra' and 'panties' and the name of my husband in one sentence while talking about yourself." I was shock right now. W-w-wife?! Husband?! I pivoted around to turn to Edward. He seemed to be in a state of shock as well.
"Mrs.-"
"Gertrude. Don't call me 'Mrs. Sampson'."
I hate that man. I know what he's been up to, hitting on his students, and all that. Oh, yeah? He won't have to cheat on m with this one after I show him what I got at Victoria's Secret! He's just come crawling back to me, and then this one can keep this stud muffin of a boy standing there.
I heard a muffled snort, and shot a glare at Rosalie, the snort's owner. This was so not funny. It was almost like she could read minds. But then I saw Edward muttering bits and pieces of her thoughts in shock. Rosalie had obviously heard.
"...Gertrude...er...I...I can assure you that...that I do not...er...like your husband like that. He's my teacher...nothing...more..."
"Teacher in what?" She smirked, thinking she'd trapped me.
"Biology." I answered easily. Suddenly, it occurred to me I was having a showdown with my perverted biology teacher's wife. This day was not my day. And to make it worse, Kelly, Perri, and Dakota were there, gaping hugely. I imagined all the rumors I was going to have to put up with on Monday. I'd have to beg Edward and the boys to stay with us and not go hunting, which obviously wouldn't work.
She scowled, and turned to walk away. I was just about to turn to, but I heard her voice call back to me, "And you stay away from my husband! He's mine!" Oh? You can keep him, I thought to myself.
I turned to face my family. Alice muttered, "Well, that was strange."
"I hope they don't have kids. That'd be a nightmare." Rosalie muttered along with Alice.
Edward rolled his eyes, and wrapped his arms around me.
"When's Jasper getting back?" Emmett whined.
"I'm here." He snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. Kelly edged closer to him, and he slid behind Alice.
Alice rolled her eyes, and kissed his cheek. "Jasper, was there a 'Wet Seal'?"
He smiled happily, and sang (except better than Kelly), "Nope!"
Alice closed her eyes and looked like she was trying to hold back a scream.
"But, but, but! There was a 'Hot Topic'." Jasper said, trying to get Alice back to her normal, bubbly self.
She visibly relaxed, and turned to the three girls. "Well, Kendra, Donnie, and Persephone, we need to get going! Bye!" I met Alice's eyes and cracked up. Kendra. Donnie. Persephone. Oh, wow.
Kelly gasped; obviously shocked someone hadn't gotten her name right.
Dakota squealed in anger. And Perri. Perri's face was beginning to match her hair.
Alice giggled, and tugged at my arm. She linked her arm with Rosalie's and with mine too and skipped off, dragging along. Leaving three girls offended for no particular reason. Edward snickered happily, Emmett boomed as usual, and needless to say, Jasper was cackling again.
I sighed, and walked along with my two sisters.
"So, where's Hot Topic?" I sighed in exasperation.
"Right…there!" Alice giggled, pointing. Alice let go of my arm and Rosalie's and they ran to the store, squealing all the way. I kept my eyes down that way I wouldn't know how many people were looking at us. I could still hear their thoughts, however.
Emmett, Jasper, Edward, and I all walked in. Alice rushed up to me, already having things in her arms.
"I think you'll like these best!" She pushed three pairs of jeans into my arms. I looked them over. They were pretty nice. They were all skinny jeans, a style I liked a lot. There was a pair of capris, and red and black striped skinny jeans, and black and white striped skinny jeans.
"Try them on, Bella!" She squealed, and I had to suppress an eye roll.
"Yes, yes, your majesty." My eye flickered over to Edward, who was squirming uncomfortably under the gaze of a teen in the store.
"Edward, come' ere." I ordered, who happily came over.
"Yes, my one and only true love?" The other girl's lip curled over in annoyance.
"Sit outside the door, and tell me how good the pants look."
I walked over to the dressing room doors, and selected a little room, after instructing Edward to sit in front. I heard the appreciative giggles coming from the other girls and I could imagine their flirtatious smiles. Ugh. I tugged on the capris, and opened the door for Edward to see. He grinned his crooked grin, and there were appreciative gasps coming from the teen girls. I rolled my eyes, and he chuckled.
"You look stunning, love, as usual." He murmured, and before he could embrace me, I slammed the door shut, and I heard his,
"Hey!"
I giggled and sang a "Sorry, Edward!" as I pulled the red and black striped skinny jeans on. I opened the door to find an annoyed Edward with his arms crossed over his chest.
"What do you think?"
"Beautiful. As usual." He smirked, and I let him get up and pull me closer. He bent down to kiss me, but I pulled away and went back to the dressing room to put on the last pair of pants. He heard groan in exasperation, and I snickered.
I pulled on the final pair of black and white striped skinny jeans and opened the door to find at least 5 girls surrounding Edward.
"Please? She wouldn't even know!" Said a girl with brown hair and blonde highlights.
"Once again, I really don-"
"I know you want me more than you want her. Maybe some fun at my house tonight?" Said a girl with red hair just like Perri's but minus the insane curls.
"Look, I'm married, and I'm just not going to che-"
"She wouldn't even know! I think you like me better than her. How about dinner tonight?" Said a girl with black hair, and I could see some neon highlights in her hair that I had to admit were pretty cool.
"No, no, no! I'm ma-"
"Oh, please. You should be mine, and not that ugly brunette!" A brunette herself snarled.
Edward's eye actually twitched, and he snarled, "She is not ugly. Now, my wife, who has no doubt heard every word you ladies have said, is standing right there. So, kindly move aside so that I may see my wife."
They all turned at the same time to look at me, with hugely comical looks on their faces.
As soon as the comical looks appeared on their faces, they were replaced with ones of jealousy, anger, to just plain annoyance. I sighed, and turned around to Edward.
"What do you think?"
"I think you're absolutely perfect. Everything I could ever want." He hinted at the 5 other girls, who just frowned and made little, 'Ohmygod, I'm so offended' noises and walked away.
I rolled my eyes.
"I'm going back in to get changed into my jeans, and then we'll pay, and leave. Sound good?"
"Perfect. I'll be waiting." He whispered, seductive as always. I closed the door.
I shivered slightly, and smiled to my self as I tugged on my jeans, and picked up the three others I planned to buy.
When I met Alice back in the store, later, she squealed,
"Oh! I just knew you'd love them!" I snickered, and muttered,
"Well, obviously." Alice grinned wickedly as she picked up the bag the cashier handed her.
"Time for the next store!"
I groaned along with the boys while Rosalie and Alice just squealed happily, ecstatic that there was probably a whole day of shopping ahead of us.
Suddenly, we ran into…
Oh, yes. What's that? A cliffy! C to the L to the I to the Double F to the Y!
I do so love them. Now, time for my apology. I said I would get this chapter up by Thursday! Gagh. And instead, here it is. Monday. I am so sorry! You may, actually, run after me with pointy objects. I deserve it. I was pretty tired (poor excuse) and I was reading "The Host". I can proudly state that I am indeed, on page 33. YAY!
And what the hell did you think of about Mike working in Victoria's Secret?! And better yet, Riley?! Ah ha, one of my best ideas, if I do say so myself. Tee hee!
And, pictures of the jeans from Hot Topic on my profile. You may have noticed Bella and everyone didn't really get anything at Victoria's Secret, so there won't be any pictures from VS.
Now. Just who do you think Bella and everyone runs into the mall? I can't wait for you guys to review this chapter! So, without anything else delaying or standing in the way…
Review! And you know, eat cookies too. Cookies are always nice.