Disclaimer: The characters in this story belong to Rumiko Takahashi, not I. Some characters are from my imagination, but not many. Do not use this story without my permission.
After a good night's sleep, the roar of a cacophonous arrangement of dinosaurs awoke the team in the UFO. Although everyone woke up at roughly the same time, Lum was the first to prepare for her day and get to the bathroom.
"Lum!" Benten shouted, pounding at the door, "If you're not done in the next five seconds I'm pulling this door off and beating you with it!"
"Go ahead and try" Lum shouted from inside the bathroom. "It's Space Steel paneling, you can't scratch it.
"WE'LL SEE!" Benten roared, making futile grabs and yanks at the door with a line behind her.
"What's this about?" Ataru asked, being the last conscious person in the room.
"Lum's still in the bathroom" Shinobu said, wiping the sleep from her eye.
"Ah" Ataru confirmed. "Yeah, she's not coming out for a while. Well, I'll be outside."
"Doing what?" Inaba foolishly insisted.
"Well, I have to use the bathroom too" Ataru explained, "But I'm not waiting here." So he left, leaving Shinobu a little disgusted, but she expected it from him by now.
"You know" Ryuunosuke realized, "I don't want to wait either..." Shinobu gave a disgusted, shocked face at her friend's notion. Meanwhile, while Lum continued to aggravate everyone inside, Ataru relieved himself in the brush. As he did, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was watching him. He finished and started back to the UFO, but the feeling became even more apparent. He turned, looking into the dense and dark morning jungle for signs of life, and as his eyes scanned the bushes started to move.
"Eh" he nervously tried to shake off, "it's just a little thing...looking for bugs..." Then he heard a familiar chirping. He knew what it was without turning around, so he didn't and walked quickly back to the clearing. Unfortunately, the little chicken-lizards followed him that far. He saw them walking beside him, keeping their pace and staring at him as he tried to walk up to the UFO steps. As he reached his hand out, desperate to ignore the little creatures, a tongue caught him. Then another.
"GAH!!" Ataru's scream shot into the UFO, catching everyone's attention. Even Lum opened the door and looked out. She didn't notice the line, but she did notice her Darling wasn't there.
"Where's Darling?" Lum asked. Benten seized the chance and threw her out of the way to rush into the bathroom and lock the door. Lum ignored it and turned to Shinobu.
"He went...outside" Shinobu said fearfully. It was fearful because, in the window staring her down, was one of the militant chicken lizards. Lum gasped in horror at the thought that her Darling, resilient though he was, was now out against the uncountable numbers of these wild lizards that nearly killed him once already.
"What do we do?" Inaba asked concernedly. "We certainly can't fight those things. There's hundreds of them."
"Hundreds isn't so bad" Ryuunosuke cockily retorted. "I'll take care of 'em..." she continued until her stomach region loudly gurgled and she flew over in pain. "...in a minute. HURRY UP, BENTEN!"
"They can't fly" Ten said "so Lum and me can just go up through the roof and scare them away."
"Good idea, Ten!" Lum praised. The two Oni floated off through the UFO to look for a window that they could open and escape through. A minute later, they came back in defeat, finding that the lizards were indeed everywhere. Lum looked especially down.
"Poor Darling..." Ryoko said sympathetically. Lum nodded in agreement. "Those nasty beasts are probably tearing him to pieces and eating him now." Lum cringed at the thought and curled up in the air with bugging eyes of fear.
"Ryoko!" Tobimaro, suddenly conscious from sleeping on the floor all night, shouted. "Don't upset her! Moroboshi is fine. Even if these lizards are carnivorous, they wouldn't eat him immediately." Lum gasped loudly and spun around with tears. She decided to leave anyway and jetted to the nearest window, zapping the lizards as she ascended up to scan the forest. The group stared at the open window for a second before Tobimaro decided to make a mad rush over and shut it.
"Hey! Can't you understand me?" Ataru shouted, riding the wave of lizards that carried him through the jungle. "Take me back! I still haven't eaten yet. It's to early for this crap!" The lizard swarm stopped in an instant, sending Ataru skidding forward off the pile and onto the ground in a clearing. He rolled to a stop and carefully got back up. When he looked up, the lizards were all looking at him intently. He slowly stood up, and the lizards straightened themselves up to their toes.
What's with these stupid chicken-lizards? He thought. He sighed and closed his eyes in annoyance.
"I'm being held hostage by lizards" he complained. When he opened his eyes, he saw that the lizards were imitating him. His hands were on his hips, their arms were at their sides. He raised an eyebrow curiously and they mimicked it with their own lizard faces, tilting their heads for added effect. Ataru smiled nervously and chuckled under his breath. The lizards, in turn, made odd quacking sounds that Ataru assumed were laughter.
Meanwhile, Lum and Ten combed the nearby area for signs of Ataru, though Ten was more concerned with the pressing situation at their base.
"Stupid lizards" he muttered angrily. "Why can't they pick on someone else?" He looked down at the lizards, most of which were staring up at him blankly. He leaned back and let them stare, but the collective gaze of about a hundred lizards was starting to bother him. He glanced down and they were still looking. He grumbled a little and turned his back to them. He wanted to see if they were still looking, as he could feel them looking at him, so he turned back and they still were. No he was angry.
"You know what!?" Ten shouted, catching most of the lizard's attention to listen. Ten drew in a large breath and started up his furnace mouth, activating his suit's flame enhancing funnel attachment, which extended out and propped up in front of his mouth. In one humongous breath, Ten cleared the area with a fiery explosion that shook the ground on which the UFO was set. Everyone jarred inside the shaking structure which was just next to Ten's meteoric fireball.
"What was that!?" Shinobu demanded.
"Earthquake!" Tobimaro shouted.
"We're not on Earth" Asuka pointed out.
"...oh. What is this planet called again?" Tobimaro asked. Shinobu shrugged.
"PLANET QUAKE!" Shingo screamed in terror. He ran screaming with his arms up to the back to hide. Benten stumbled out of the bathroom with a red eye.
"Ha!" Ryuunosuke quickly laughed at her friend. "What happened to you?"
"Shut..." Benten started wearily, "it, dude. I hit my eye...and punctured my brain...off the sink..." then she fell over,defeated by the bathroom. Ryuunosuke hopped past her, pointing and laughing as she went into the bathroom not caring over the strange quake that just occurred.
Of course Lum had heard it, she was just far to involved in finding Ataru to care. She flew low, over the canopy, searching tirelessly and vigilantly for her Darling's body, hopefully as it was still moving. She was completing yet another sweep of the nearest jungle to the UFO when she saw the lizards...exercising. Then she heard something wonderful.
"Okay!" Ataru shouted. "Next, we bend! Everybody, one-two! One-two!" He bent over his side with his arm slung over his head and reaching, while his lizard followers did the same thing. "Hehe. Having fans rocks!"
"DARLING!" Lum yelled happily. Ataru noticed to late as she dove down like a hawk and snared him in her loving hug. He reeled back, letting his arms drift forward a little, and the lizards continued to follow his moves. He pushed her away gently, which she must have interpreted as 'Kiss me', because she did. The shock that jolted through Ataru was similar to getting zapped violently by the same girl. She parted, leaving him shaking and confusedly angry.
"I was so worried that the lizards ate you!" She cooed loudly. Ataru's hands went up over his head, giving his instinctive pain symbol with pinky, index and thumbs out. He looked down at her with contempt, then sighed and pushed her away completely.
"Lum" he started sweetly, the kind of sweet that leads to a Ran-styled explosion of personality change. "Didn't we agree you wouldn't kiss me without a proper warning first? By at least a week!?" His tone got more annoyed near the end of his reminder to his insistent wife.
"No" she said. "You said that, but I didn't really agree."
"YES YOU DID!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. The lizards, in turn, squawked as loud as they collectively could, reminding Lum that they were there. She grasped tight onto Ataru's suit collar and whipped her head around. There was an army of them, all staring her down.
"Eh..." she nervously quivered. "Darling, we're trapped" she whispered, Ataru ignoring her troubled tone.
"No we're not" he said. "Watch." Ataru demonstrated his pack leadership by raising up his hand. The flock of lizards raised their hands up as well. Lum calmed down the more he demonstrated. When his legs bent, their legs bent, and so forth.
"Well, look at that" she said, floating above the ground. "They're like chicks following a mother hen."
"I'm not a mother hen" Ataru insisted, although at the time he was acting and posing like a chicken. Regardless, Lum just laughed and clapped at the antics of her Darling and his subjugated lizard army.
"I just wonder" Lum said thoughtfully, "why they don't attack you like they attack anyone else?" Ataru stopped. He never considered that.
"Not sure" he said. "Maybe they just like me."
"Maybe" Lum started, "you're such a vortex of bad luck that these lizards are naturally drawn to you because they're seen in a bad light as well." Ataru scorned at her, and she stuck her tongue out with a happy joking face. Regardless, Ataru knew what to do. He turned to Lum so his lizards would, then he aimed and flicked his tongue out at her. Twenty slimy lizard tongues impacted her from the side, sending her floating through the air in total shock, shaking and nearly knocking her wrists together.
"You alright?" Ataru asked insincerely. She was shaking and holding herself, still in shock, but she was able to slowly turn her head and drain her rage by spontaneously latching onto Ataru and frying him. The lizards mimicked his painful contracting arms and legs as the voltage lit him up like a light bulb.
"I'm angry at you" Ataru said, spitting out smoke as he and Lum stepped back in front of the UFO. Lum was lovingly holding onto his arm and walking alongside him. Both of them decided to ignore that the lizards were following them. Suddenly, Lum's body was jerked down as Ataru had stepped into a large, black hole in the ground.
"You okay?" Lum shouted obnoxiously. Ataru lifted himself up, using Lum as a floating ledge, and brushed himself off.
"Huh. This wasn't here before, was it?" Ataru asked. Lum shrugged, but she knew how it did get there even before it flew down to admit it.
"Lum!" Ten cried. "I'm sorry! Please, don't zap me."
"Oh, Ten-chan" Lum cooed, floating up and taking Ten in a hug. "I'm not mad at you. And look, I found Darling!" She was much happier about that than the fact that the lizards seemed to be gone. What's more, the ones that followed her and Ataru refused to step beyond the brush line.
"Yeah, hi" Ten apathetically greeted. He felt Lum's nails start to cautiously tighten, so he reiterated himself with a much brighter tone. "Ataru! So good to see you again!" Ataru glared at Lum, but she was happy and let the infant float on his own again to pant heavily.
"Well," Ataru started, walking up the burnt slope, "I guess we should rally the troops again."
"Yup" Lum said, still cheerful. Ataru decided to be nice for once and leaned against the UFO wall.
"We'll save them Lum" he said with iron resolve. "I promise that I'll do anything I can to help." Lum became speechless over her Darling's uncharacteristic chauvinistic words. She still could think of anything to say and she didn't want to kiss him and make him angry again, so she settled for a surprise embrace which he seemed to tolerate.
"Thank you" she said. Ataru smiled, glad to help, and reached up for the door. Unfortunately, the weight that had shifted during Ten's catastrophic fireball had loosened the ground under the already unstable UFO, and a loud creaking was heard. Ataru and Lum watched grimly as the entire structure started to precariously tip over and fall down the chasm below with a heavy crash...
"AH! Wha-what..." Mendo stuttered as he shot himself up from the floor. Everything looked wrong. Firstly, everyone was unconscious, especially Ryuunosuke and Benten who had large punch bruises on their faces coupled with the large lumps they shared with everyone else. Second, Mendo woke up on the ceiling, not the floor. "Is anyone alright?" Mendo asked. A few audible groans were heard from Asuka under a pile of rubble, Tobimaro in another room and Shingo from the far back.
"Quick survey" Mendo shouted, being the only one unhurt enough to act at all. "Who thinks this is Moroboshi's fault?" Everyone conscious groaned, and some groaned while still knocked out. "Thank you..." He took a pause to draw in his breath so he could scream loud enough for Ataru on the cliff to hear "MOROBOSHI!!"
Ataru and Lum were white-eye shocked, frozen in the position from just before they watched the entirety of their operations plummet down a cliff.
"That's just bad luck, isn't it Ataru?" Ten mocked.