20 | enamor
to fill or inflame with love
The next morning is frantic, to say the least.
After breakfast and Mom accidentally giving me a nasty burn with a curling iron, we get dressed and head to Ethan's house. As Mom chats with Ethan's mom, I head to Ethan's bedroom. As I hear him talking to someone on the phone, though, I pause. "There's no way to cancel the ticket?" I hear him say, annoyance creeping in on his tone. "Are you sure?" As he feels my gaze on the back of his neck, he turns and abruptly hangs up. "Leah," he says softly. "You look beautiful."
I smile, but only for a moment. "Who were you talking to?"
"No one."
"Ethan."
He rolls his eyes. "They won't let me cancel my flight to Japan."
I bite my lip. I'd completely forgotten he was planning to go to Japan. "Why are you canceling?" I ask.
"You're insane if you think I'm leaving La Push now that I have you," he grins.
"You're insane if you think I'm letting you cancel your travel plans because of me," I counter, at the same time the tiniest bit relieved he's not planning on leaving me. I don't think I could handle it.
"Come with me, then," he replies.
I sigh in frustration. "You know I can't leave La Push. Especially not now, when there's a leech in the area," I protest.
"Then I won't leave either," he says simply.
"No, Ethan," I protest, "you can't put your life on hold because I'm anchored here. What happened to seeing the world? Going back to school?"
He's silent for a moment. "Look, Leah," he says, "yes, that was all part of my life plan. But you know what? Sometimes life doesn't give us what we want. But I'm a lucky bastard, I guess, because I don't mind giving all that up. I have everything I could need here. My mom. Isabelle. You. You are my world."
"Leah?" I hear Mom call.
I sigh in frustration, slightly flustered by Ethan's confession. "Get dressed. We'll talk about this later," I tell him before stepping outside.
He wants to stay with me. He's picking me over Japan. No, scratch that, he's picking me over the rest of the world and all its wonders. But yet, there's a crushing amount of guilt in the pit of my chest—if this were a dream world where everything were perfect, he would ask me to come with him and I would have said yes in a heartbeat. I'd quit shifting immediately and work my ass off until I could afford to travel, and then we'd leave La Push and never look back.
But unfortunately, the universe was not in our favor. Until there was no threat to the area, until I could get my shifting under control, there would be no way I could leave for extended periods of time. And until then, I know Ethan wouldn't leave either.
He opens his bedroom door and steps out. "You look great," I say.
Ethan smiles in response. "You ready to go?"
I nod and take his hand.
It's a beautiful day for a wedding in La Push. The rain is holding back, and there's even a glimpse of the sun through the clouds. A soft breeze ripples through the tall grass of Billy's backyard.
Emily is just putting on a final touch of makeup as I find her in Billy's bathroom. "You look stunning," I compliment. She truly does—shining with the natural glow only a bride could have.
"So do you," she says, catching my reflection in the mirror. "You haven't curled your hair since, what, high school?" I touch my hair, suddenly self-conscious. "It looks good."
"Thank you. Are you nervous?"
"Not at all. I've been waiting for this day since Sam and I first got together," she blurts, then cringes as she remembers Sam and I's past. "Leah, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…"
"Don't worry about it, Emily. I'm happy for you and Sam, really."
She smiles and takes my hands in her own. "Thank you, Leah. You don't know how much that means to me."
As Emily's sister claims her attention, I slip outside.
Emily is a vision as she makes her way down the aisle. Her dress is simple—a white, tea-length gown—but still fitting. Sam is smiling like he just won the lottery. As they recite their vows, I think. I think about how I should be jealous, should be angry, but instead I feel… almost happy. It doesn't feel like the wedding of my ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend. Just my oldest childhood friend and the man who was there for me throughout high school. Just two people in love.
As Sam and Emily do their customary first dance, I find Ethan. "Hey," I say softly as we watch the newlyweds.
"Hi," he replies. "I'm glad we have a moment to talk. I wanted to check on you."
"Check on me? Why?"
"You know, with the wedding and all that… I know you and Sam—"
"Ethan," I say, turning towards him. "Whatever happened between Sam and I doesn't matter anymore. I don't love him, Ethan. I… I love you." Heat rushes to my face as I realize what I've just admitted, but I also know I wouldn't take it back for the world.
A slow smile spreads across his face. "I love you, too," he whispers.
We watch as the other guests slowly make their way to the dance floor. "Dance with me?" Ethan whispers in my ear. So we do—we dance, we kiss, we laugh, we love.