A/N: So I have a case of insomnia so here is another chapter. Enjoy =)

Chapter 20

I'm So Sorry

I woke up in a hospital bed. I had blacked out before the cops finally showed up to the hotel that Michael was holding me hostage in. I hadn't been up since. I felt pain in my abdomen and sides, I felt Logan's head on my hand and I could tell that he was asleep. I smiled knowing that he probably hadn't left my side this entire time. I shook him awake. When his eyes fluttered open and he saw that I was awake, he got a huge smile on his face.

"Oh Lauren! You've been out for almost sixteen hours! I was so scared that I was going to lose you. I'm so sorry that I didn't go with you! I should have gone with you!" Logan was near tears as he was saying this.

I couldn't help but feel pain in my heart because I knew that he was miserable because of everything. I smiled at him and wiped away his tears. "Logie, he wanted to do that and if you had been with me he may of killed you and I couldn't have taken that!"

He thought about it and nodded. He must of known that I was probably right. Michael was highly unstable and would have stopped at nothing until he had me and I knew that. I heard my door open and saw two police officers come in.

"Ms. Miller, I'm Officer Evans and this is Officer Cooper. We're here to just talk to you real quick and when you are feeling better we will need you to come down to the station and have you make an official statement with us."

I nodded. "Okay, so what did you need to talk to me about?" I asked softly.

"We understand that you were being held captive but right now Mr. Lewis is currently in surgery and we think you should know that if for some reason he doesn't make it you will be taken to court and while the punishment may be light, you will be still facing some charges." Officer Evans said in a soothing and comforting voice.

I didn't know what to say. I thought that it was ridiculous that I was the one who would be in trouble if things didn't go right. I was the victim and I had done what I had to do to save my own life. They said the punishment would be light, but I didn't think I should be facing charges at all. I didn't want to argue with him and get myself upset though so I just nodded. The cops walked out almost as quickly as they had come in and I looked at Logan and knew that I was on the verge of tears.

I felt Logan wrap his arms around me in a comforting manner and rub my back. I finally allowed the tears to escape my eyes. "This isn't fair. I did what I did to survive. I wouldn't have just shot him for no reason. If I hadn't of done that, I might not be here right now."

Logan tried to comfort me. "I know that. I know that you only did it so you could be in my arms right now. I know that and there isn't a judge in this world that would give you a guilty verdict. I bet Mr. Dawes would say the exact same thing too."

I let him hold me for a few seconds before I finally realized that there was something I needed to tell him. I took a deep breath before I finally spoke. "Logan?" I asked in a quiet and weak voice.

"What is it, baby cakes?"

"I mean it when I say I did what ever it took to survive." I said. I didn't know if I should tell him but I knew that I had to because if it was reversed I would need him to do the same for me.

"I know, you're a fighter and that is one of the many things I love about you baby." He said with a little chuckle.

I pulled away from him and looked at him. He had an amused look in his eyes and I knew that he wasn't going to like what I was about to tell him. "Logan, I need to tell you what happened." I said in a small voice. He was quiet and I took that as he wanted me to continue and tell him what had happened.

"He gave me some shot in my neck. When I woke up, he wasn't there and then he finally came in. He tied me up and then he text you. While he was waiting though he was reading that article about us. It got him so angry! He pulled out a gun and a knive. He told me not to scream when he ungagged me, but I did and he stabbed me."

I stopped because I was started to dread the next part. I took another deep breath and started again. "He started kissing me and finally I knew that the only way I was going to get free was if I played along. I started kissing him and convinced him to let me go. I had sex with Michael..." I said sofly.

"YOU WHAT?" He yelled. He was on his feet and was pacing back in forth. I felt the tears welling in my eyes again.

"It was so I could get free. When he finally closed his eyes I hit him with the phone. He hit me and stabbed me again. He was hitting me over and over again. I finally got the gun and shot him." I said trying to explain everything.

Logan wouldn't look at me. It was at that moment I was completely ashamed of what I had done. I wished that I had just let Michael kill me because at that moment, it was better then knowing I had hurt the only guy who had ever truly loved me as more than a friend. I let the tears fall.

"I'm so sorry, Logan. I'm so sorry. I only did it so I could survive and the whole time I had to pretend it was you. I didn't want to, I really didn't. But I swear it was the only way!" I pleaded. I needed him to know that if there had been any other way I wouldn't have done it.

He finally sat down next to me again and pinched the bridge of his nose. After a few minutes he was looking at me again with an intense stare. I couldn't hold the eye contact. I looked away from him and tried to hold back the tears. I felt him grab my hand and give it a squeeze. I finally looked back up at him and he was giving me a weak smile.

"I won't lie to you. I do feel extremely betrayed, but I can't be mad at you or even blame you for your decision. I know that you wouldn't have done it unless it was absolutely necessary. I know that it must have been the only way for you to make it out alive." He said. I could still see the hurt on his face and that made me just want to curl up into a ball and die.

"I'm so sorry, Logie."

He pulled me close again and hugged me. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for darling. Don't apologize, but I do want you to get Plan B. The last thing you need is to get pregnant by that asshole."

I nodded and knew that he was right. I heard someone enter the room and looked up and saw Adam rolling his way in, in a wheelchair. I smiled at him. "Well, don't you look better?" I said with a cocky grin.

He gave me a laugh. "Well, that psycho had you for two days and you've been out for almost a day so I did have three days to make a miraculous come back."

"Geez, I'm sorry I worried all of you guys so much. But I would have much rather of been with you guys then fighting for my life against Michael." I said.

I saw Adam frown. "You know, I'm just sad that I wasn't the one to shoot the bastard. I fucking hate him and I really hope that he dies. My dad has already said that he could get you off no problem!"

I heard the door bust open. "Sir, she's only allowed two visitors at a time."

I stood wide eyed when I saw my dad at the door. He had a worried look on his face and was ignoring what the nurse was telling him. "That is MY daughter and I want to see her."

Adam gave me one of his looks and wheeled his way out. "I'll leave. You're her father after all." Adam said in a taunting tone.

I rolled my eyes knowing that my dad would probably get mad for Adam's tone. I watched my dad for a second. He looked at Logan who was holding my hand and looked down. "Logan, can I have a moment alone with my daughter?"

Logan looked hesitant before he started speaking. "With all do respect, Mr. Miller, I'm not leaving her side!"

My dad looked taken aback that Logan would dare speak to him that way, but he didn't get angry he just nodded his head in a defeated manner and sat down on the other side of me. He seemed like he was struggling with what to say. But after a while he finally started speaking.

"Look Lauren, I think that I need to apologize for everything that I have been doing the last four years. And I think that it is finally time I explain the way things were to you." He said in a strained tone. I could tell that thinking about whatever he was, was causing him a lot of pain.

I looked at Logan with a confused look and was glad to see that I wasn't the only one who was completely out of the loop. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand before my father continued.

"You're mom wanted you to know this...I on the other hand not so much. But I will respect her wishes by finally telling you. I met your mother when she was a senior in college. She was full of life and I was instantly drawn to her. But she had a boyfriend named Thomas. He was a real jerk to her and I never liked him. She and I became friends, but one night he started hitting her. I begged her to leave him, but she didn't.

"A month later, he put her in the hospital and I refused to let her go back. He broke into the house one day and convinced her to go with him. A week later she showed back up on my door step and told me she was done. She stayed with me after that but shortly after she moved in she found out that she was pregnant."

I couldn't help but interrupt. "With me?" I said in an unsure tone. I closed my eyes waiting for his response.

"Yes, with you. We started dating not too long after she found out. I told her that I wanted to help raise you and that I would love and treat you as my own daughter and that you would never have to find out the truth about everything. We could have our own family with lots of kids. And I meant it when I said all of it. I swear I did!"

He finally paused. His face was in his hands and when he looked up his eyes were bloodshot and I knew that he had been crying. "Six years ago, your mom and I started trying to have another child. But she found out that she couldn't bare anymore children. I was devastated, and I'm ashamed to say it. But I resented you for it. I know now that I was just being stupid, but I wanted another child."

I looked at him in shock. I had never known any of this. My father had always told me they dated all through college. "So you blamed me for mom not being able to have anymore children?" I asked in an unsure voice.

He let out a sigh. "Yes, I know that it is stupid. But I was just so upset that we couldn't have anymore kids. I was mad until two days ago when I got a call telling me that Michael had kidnapped you. I was so mad at myself for what I have done to you. I couldn't stop thinking about, what if he kills her. The last time I saw her, we were fighting and I had hit her.

"I couldn't have lived with myself had I lost you under the circumstances. The nurse just now told me that you were up and I rushed in here. I know that I haven't told you this in a really long time Lauren, but I love you. You are my daughter and I wouldn't trade you for anything in this world. You are my pride and joy."

I knew that I was on the verge of crying. My dad hadn't said anything like this to me in years and I couldn't help but be happy that he was saying all of this to me. After him hitting me and hating me for so long, I finally felt like it was all over. I smiled at him. "You will always be my dad. I love you."

I felt him wrap his arms around me and give me a hug. I couldn't remember the last time that me and him were on good terms like this. I knew one thing though. I absolutely loved it!

My dad then turned his attention to Logan. "And thank you. When you told me you weren't leaving her side, I knew then and there that you are good for her and that you really do love her."

Logan smiled at him. "I would give my life for her."

Shortly after that my father left. Logan successfully snuck in the others and we all five sat in my room talking.

"What is this going to mean for the concerts?" James asked in a curious voice. I noticed the other three give him death glares. "What, I am just curious."

I laughed at him. "I'll be able to play. I'll just ask for a stool or something to sit on. I know that you guys can't play without me. I might as well be a part of the band." I said in a smug tone.

"What are you talking about?" Carlos asked.

"You already are a part of BTR." Kendall said. "By the way, Jo is freaking out about you. She said that she hopes you feel better and you're in her prayers."

I smiled at him. "Tell her she will be getting a text from me as soon as I get out of here."

"Thank you, you know for everything. You're the reason Jo and I are back together. She told me about that message you sent to her. And for giving her another chance. I know that she doesn't deserve it, but thanks."

I couldn't help but laugh at him. "She set her pride aside and apologized to me. Of course she deserves another chance!"

"You know, I can't even imagine doing a concert without you. Doing that one in Minnesota when you left early was weird enough." Logan said. "I'm so use to going and touching you or smiling at you and you just weren't there."

I couldn't help but laugh at him. I knew that we had become so use to being with each other all the time that I was wondering what would happen when we got back to the Palm Woods in two months. I could already tell that I wasn't going to like being away from him.

I heard a knock on my door and Officer Evans walked back in. "Well, we were just informed that Mr. Lewis is making a nice recovery and will be just fine. But we still need that statement."

I nodded and wrote down my statement and when they left I couldn't help but laugh when the guys all yelled together, "Dammit, I was hoping that bastard would die!"

A/N: So the next chapter is the last one. I hope that you guys have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it!

Reviews please.