A/N: Welcome to chapter 20 of Fractured Love!

Finally! After a loooooooong wait I finally got to pick up my laptop back from repairs. It's now back on my desk and ready to work *dances*. But with that also comes something else. I wasted no time in buying and playing both X-COM: Enemy Within and Guild of Dungeoneering. Both great and fun games in their own right (and very different from one another XD).

I did manage to keep on writing during the past few weeks though. Thanks to my lovely mini laptop *pets it affectionately*. Actually, because I just leave this one right by my bed I'm more inclined to write a scene before going to sleep. So I think I've written more in one week than before I went on holiday. Heh, I guess my big laptop being away for three weeks was good for something :). One of the two one-shots I'm working on is coming along nicely. I might even break it up into a two-shot, but I want to have it done before posting anything.

So for now I give you the next chapter of this story. I had a lot of fun writing this one. Sometimes I feel that the story is going a bit slow, but all the scenes are there for a reason. I couldn't show the character development this story needs if I just glossed over these periods. I am getting close to wrapping these second two weeks up though, and then the next arc will start. Zack joining SOLDIER! I can't wait! :D.

Without any further ado, I'll let you get to reading. Remember, I do not own FF7 or any of its characters, Zack and Cloud rock, and Sephiroth is the best antagonist ever created.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 20

Cloud was cheerful that day. Very cheerful. Lucrecia noticed it immediately when her blonde patient walked into her office for his next session. As he walked in, he had a huge smile on his face. He greeted her with a loud 'good afternoon' while waving a piece of paper around.

"I did as you told me Lucrecia. I wrote something about my past." He grinned as he placed the sheet on her desk and plopped down into his usual seat.

It was only then that Zack entered, his eyes wide as he walked towards his own seat with a dumbfounded expression.

This actually made things a bit more difficult for the therapist. She'd planned on following Vincent's advise and have Zack wait outside for the entire session. With Cloud cheerful like this it didn't seem very hard. After all, it wasn't like Cloud was so withdrawn today that he needed Zack to speak for him. But the fact that this behaviour was so unnatural for him to show that even Zack was obviously startled by it made it very difficult for Lucrecia to start this session like she'd planned to. She fully anticipated Zack's next question though.

"What's wrong with him Lucrecia?" He asked. The concern in his voice was by now a familiar sound to her.

"What do you mean Zack?" Cloud said with confusion, "I'm just happy to be here, and feel ready to tackle anything." He raised one of his arms, holding it out like he was showing off his biceps, "I feel stronger than I've ever felt before."

Instead of arguing with Cloud though, Zack instead turned to Lucrecia, "He's been acting this way all morning. He even wanted to play hide and seek after breakfast. It's like he's a child."

Lucrecia hummed, knowing she had to tackle this problem first before she could move on to what she intended to work on with Cloud that day, "Is this what Cloud used to be like as a child?"

Zack shrugged, "Whenever the bullies wouldn't pick on him yes. He wasn't always this confident, but he would turn happy and daring when he knew he could do something."

"Helloooo. I'm sitting right here you know. I can talk for myself." Cloud pouted.

"I'm sorry Cloud." Lucrecia instantly switched back to him with a smile, "Was there something you would like to say?"

"Yeah." He acknowledged as he snatched the piece of paper back from the desk, waving it around as if it held all the answers, "The bullies are mean, but Zack plays with me. It makes me happy. The bullies aren't here, but Zack is, so I'm happy."

And with those words he smacked the paper back down, looking very satisfied at his explanation while flashing Lucrecia a smile. A lot was going on through the latter's mind. Cloud's current behaviour was very likely due to his pills, but what exactly was going on was as of yet unclear to her. But the way he was acting and talking wasn't natural. It seemed like he had regressed back into a childlike state in some way.

That last thought brought an idea, "Cloud, may I ask how old you are?"

"Huh? That's a silly question. I'm ten of course."

The shock caused Zack's eyes to grow even wider, and even Lucrecia took a sharp breath. Fear crept up inside of her. Cloud's current pills were specifically aimed to target his memory to an even higher extend than the previous ones were. Could it be that they had actually wiped most of his current memory, causing him to be stuck in his ten-year-old self? But if what Zack had told her was true, then Cloud's father died when he was ten. That would mean that he was stuck in the period before that event.

She paled at the thought. This was exactly why humans shouldn't try to meddle with people's memories. It was just too risky and the consequences were too great to make it worth it. And she had stupidly thought that Hojo would be able to do it safely? How could she have been so foolish? Why had she allowed that man to do as he pleased?

But her own destructive thoughts were interrupted by Zack's question, "What is going on here?"

The demanding tone instantly snapped the psychologist out of her guilt-ridden conscience. Whether Cloud's memory had truly been damaged irreparably or simply temporarily had not been shown yet. It also didn't matter right now. She just had to deal with the situation as well as she could.

She swallowed thickly and coughed once to clear her throat, "I am not certain yet." She said slowly, her mind working rapidly in an attempt to find a solution, "There are a number of situations which result in this kind of behaviour."

"And they are?" Zack demanded to know.

"That is not important for you to know right now. The most important thing is to find out what we're dealing with here as soon as possible." She dared to lift her eyes and stare the young man down, "But for that I need you to leave the room."

"What?! Why?!" Zack was becoming frantic by that point. He wanted to know what was wrong with his best friend.

"Because you're acting too emotional right now Zack." She said calmly, feeling confident that she could pull this off now, "In order for me to make an accurate analysis of the situation I need to be able to speak with Cloud without any interference from you. I'm sorry, but I feel that you are too worked up right now to be able to stay in this room. I kindly request you leave this room and wait for us to finish in the waiting room."

Zack stared the woman down, who resisted the urge to bite her lip in uncertainty and instead tried to appear confident. When she didn't back down, he looked back to Cloud, who was looking at him with slight fear in his eyes. It wasn't the kind of fear he was used to seeing in Cloud. Right now he seemed more like a child who was watching his parents fight. That look made him feel guilty. He was making Cloud uncomfortable, and he didn't want that. It was because of that that he backed down and started walking away. It wasn't because of Lucrecia's arguments, but purely because he couldn't bear to see Cloud looking at him like that.

Lucrecia let out a great sigh of relief once Zack had closed the door behind him. Her reprieve was short-lived though, since Cloud was still here, looking at her with a slightly fearful and expectant expression on his face.

"Did I say something wrong?" He asked in a small voice, looking at her through his bangs very much like the child he was acting to be.

"No Cloud." Lucrecia tried to reassure him, "Zack is just worried for you."

"I know. He always is."

She hummed, thinking about how she could steer this conversation into an answer for his current behaviour, "Can you tell me about it?" Cloud glanced to the piece of paper, still refusing to look Lucrecia in the eye. The psychologists caught the look though, and reached for it, "Did you write about it in here?" Cloud nodded, leaving Lucrecia to look at the sheet, "Do you want to read it out loud, or just let me read it for myself?"

Cloud held out his hand, indicating that he wanted to read it out loud. He didn't want there to be an awkward silence while his therapist read what he'd written down, and instead preferred to do it this way. Lucrecia smiled encouragingly as she handed the sheet back to him, waiting patiently for him to start reading.

After a brief moment of silence Cloud finally spoke. He started telling her about how he was generally left out as a kid by the other kids. But before he could really start he started frowning. The frown only deepened as he started to stumble over his words. They were generally difficult words, or long sentences; things that a ten-year-old wasn't used to writing or reading. It told Lucrecia two important things. One was that Cloud had written this before he'd gotten into this state, the other was that not just his speech patterns and behaviour had become childlike, but his reading abilities as well. Both were very important to notice, and were vital in making a proper analysis of Cloud's current state.

It reminded her of another patient that she'd used to have. He had witnessed a murder, which had traumatised him to such an extent that it had stunted his emotional development. Basically, he'd never really left a childlike state, instead using it as a coping mechanism. It was only after she had helped him overcome the experience that he was able to move on and become the adult that he was supposed to be.

Cloud's case was different though. There was a chance that Cloud used the same idea as a coping mechanism as well. He had obviously written about his early childhood before his father's death, which was the exact same time period he was stuck in emotionally, and even cognitively as well. But the question was whether Cloud had temporarily gotten into this due to the assignment, or whether Hojo's tampered medicine had actually eradicated his memory. Was this all sheer coincidence, or did the two perhaps strengthen each other? That still remained to be seen.

Eventually Cloud just growled in frustration and shoved the paper into Lucrecia's face, "It's too difficult. You read it."

She took the paper from Cloud's hands, but wasn't interested in its contents right now, "Did you write this yourself Cloud?"

"Yeah."

"When did you write it?"

"Oh, that was…" Despite how eager Cloud wanted to answer the question, he found the answer eluding him. He frowned again, thinking very hard, "I know I wrote it not long ago, but I can't remember."

Lucrecia took a sharp breath at the answer. If he couldn't even remember when he'd written this, which would have been either yesterday or the day before that, then how much did he remember?

"Just calm down Cloud." She told him, though it was for her own benefit as well, "Just tell me what you do remember."

Luckily, Cloud started talking at the suggestion. All of his memories were of his early childhood. If Lucrecia would read what Cloud had written down, she would probably find out the same things. Cloud told her about the other kids in Nibelheim. They would hardly play with him, and that always made him sad. But luckily Zack was there. He would play with him. They would have fun together. Whenever his raven-haired best friend was there, he was happy. It was always Zack. Just Zack, Zack and even more Zack. Cloud just wouldn't shut up about him, giving Lucrecia somewhat of a clearer understanding as to why Cloud was so attached to him, but also leaving her suspicious of what Zack truly meant to Cloud. But that was another matter entirely. For now she had to deal with the child part of the blonde.

"And what about coming here to Midgar Cloud? Do you remember any of that?" She asked carefully once he was pretty much done.

"That was because of uh…uh…"

Cloud got stuck again. It was weird to him. It was like he knew the answer, but the moment he tried to give it he just couldn't. He knew he used to live in Nibelheim, and that he was in Midgar right now. He knew that, but why couldn't he talk about it? It was the same with when his therapist had asked him about when he'd written the note. He knew he had done it, and that he did it recently, probably not more than a few days ago, but he couldn't for the life of him point out exactly when.

Lucrecia noticed the blonde's frustration. She could tell that he was perfectly willing to provide her with the answers to her questions, but that something was blocking him. This brought a little bit of relief. It meant that his memories probably weren't completely gone. It also made her conclude that it was most likely the Mako that caused this. If Cloud's mind had simply used this as a coping mechanism than he would have remembered. Instead the time period that he could remember, and the fact that he at least seemed to realise that there was some sort of gap made her convinced that the memories were still there somewhere. She did decide to take another test though.

"You came here just over two weeks ago together with Tifa and Zack."

"Yes!" Cloud replied, nodding with certainty, "That's right!"

"Tifa opened up a bar called Seventh Heaven, and you and Zack help her out."

"Yes!"

"You come here for therapy every three days."

"Huh? No! It's every two days."

"Right. Every two days. My bad."

Lucrecia felt a huge weight lift off her shoulders. Cloud hadn't completely forgotten everything. He might not be able to actively access the memories, but they were still there passively. He knew what was correct and what wasn't, and could even rectify small details. It was an immense relief to her that Cloud's memory hadn't been completely eradicated, simply blocked. That also meant that it would probably return back to normal once the effects of his current dose faded.

Now that she had concluded that there were still several things to consider. What was she going to do for the remainder of this session? Could something still be achieved from this? And how was she going to cover up the situation towards Zack?

Thinking about Zack also turned her mind to different matters. The main reason she had decided to wean Cloud from Zack's attention was because of Vincent's suspicions about the extent of their relationship. With the way Cloud had been talking about him just a moment ago only confirmed those suspicions, even if they were spoken from the perspective of a child. She realised now that separating them more and more over the next two weeks was going to be as much of a challenge as allowing Cloud to continue taking his tempered medicine. Perhaps this was the right time to find out more about the two of them, so she could find the best way to deal with it. At least that would solve her most pressing issue right now.

"Tell me Cloud." Lucrecia prodded gently, "You've already told me a lot about Zack, but could you tell me some more?"

"Uhm…sure..." Cloud responded , finding the sudden change of topic to be quite strange, but didn't comment on it, "What would you like to know?"

"Do you remember how you two met?"

"I guess…" He trailed off while thinking about it, "I don't remember it well. I think that I wanted to play with the other kids in the village. They wouldn't let me. Zack was there and told them off. He got them to let me play with them." Cloud smiled briefly, the memory becoming clearer as he was talking about it, "Zack always stood up for me after that day. I even stopped trying to play with the other kids one day. I just wanted to play with Zack."

"Have you and Zack ever fought with one another?"

"No." Cloud said with certainty in his voice, "We never fight. Zack is always very nice to me. He lets me pick out what we would play. He teaches me so many things, like how to climb up the water tower."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Happy." Cloud shot her another smile, "Zack always makes sure I am happy."

"Are you never annoyed by having to choose what to do all the time?"

"Not really."

"So you never once got angry and told Zack he should choose?"

"No." Cloud pressed, not really understanding why Lucrecia was pushing the matter, "Well, sometimes I can't decide what to do and let him choose, but I never get angry at him."

"I see."

'How much more selfless could anyone get?' Lucrecia thought with wonder. The conclusions she'd drawn about Zack only intensified with Cloud's explanation. No fights. Whether they were just friends or really lovers, they should have had more fights. Their relationship might be even more messed up than she had initially thought. The combination of Cloud's insecurities and Zack's selflessness easily drew other together like the two opposite poles of a magnet. It certainly made for a convenient relationship, but it was far from healthy. If given the chance, Zack would simply continue to sacrifice himself for the blonde until he would finally drown under the pressure, while Cloud would just sit there and absorb every scrap of attention Zack had to offer.

Vincent was absolutely right in guessing that at this point neither were even remotely ready to be separated, and it wasn't just Cloud's separation anxiety that was really the problem here. It just made him more of a parasite to Zack. The latter would also need some psychological help.

"Well, that's all I wanted to know. Could you please call Zack back inside Cloud?"

"Sure!" He said happily and dashed to the door to call his best friend back inside.

Zack was anxious as he walked back in. Lucrecia could tell that he was doing his very best to keep his emotions under control as he walked up to her desk and took his seat with Cloud plopping down in his own next to him.

"Can you tell me what's wrong now?" Zack asked slowly, keeping his voice forcibly calm.

"Yes." Lucrecia nodded, having decided to use the correlation she'd noticed earlier to her advantage, "Cloud is experiencing temporary memory regression brought on by the exercise I'd given him."

Zack blinked in confusion, "And that means?"

"Compare it to a long flashback, but instead of simply having the memories flash through his mind, he's actually reliving them."

"So…" Zack started while glancing towards Cloud, who was patiently listening to them, "He truly thinks he's a child again?"

Lucrecia nodded, "You must understand that Cloud's mental health is very unstable. At this point in his treatment I've asked him to do something that he'd been avoiding all this time: Facing his past. He decided to write about how he was bullied as a child, and that has caused him to be stuck in that time period for a while."

"So…will he snap out of it eventually?"

"Yes, and he might have even processed the bad memories by then and be able to move on."

"Why are you two talking about me like I'm not even here?" Cloud intervened with a pout on his face, "I don't even understand what you're talking about."

"Cloud." Zack said while turning his head to face the blonde, "I will explain later, okay? I need to have some answers first."

"Okay." Cloud conceded softly, though judging by the pout remaining on his face, it was clear that he felt like it wasn't fair.

"Lucrecia." Zack paused, looking the psychologist straight into her eyes, "Is this going to happen every time Cloud needs to process a memory?"

Lucrecia paused before her answer as well. Her explanation was a bit of a stretch to begin with, and it was very unsure how the Mako in Cloud's medicine would further affect him. Hojo was attempting to eradicate the memory of Cloud's father's death, which was a traumatic experience for him. With the two combined like that there was no telling what was going to happen. She had to come up with a likeable answer to placate the worried raven-haired young man in front of her.

"I'm not sure yet. People all process their personal traumas in their own way. This might just be a single occurrence, or it might just be how he can cope."

"But wouldn't he have used it to cope with the traumas before?" Zack raised an eyebrow sceptically, "Because has hasn't that I know of."

"Not necessarily." Lucrecia disagreed, hoping that she could convince Zack, "From what I understand Cloud has actually avoided in dealing with anything for the past few years. He was able to continue on with his life as long as he wasn't triggered by something. Me challenging him to face his past was apparently the trigger." Lucrecia paused for a moment as a spark of inspiration hit her, "Actually, his whole separation anxiety shows that he has failed to grow up emotionally. This type of anxiety is typically only seen in young children, and most of them grow out of it without any problems. In the end, we'll just have to wait and see how Cloud develops, and focus on dealing with the situations presented to us."

The explanation sounded plausible to Zack. Very plausible in fact. He was instantly reminded of those times Cloud had woken up from yet another nightmare in the middle of the night. He always looked like a scared child then. And he was also quite selfish at times, just like a child actually. A petulant child who wouldn't stop nagging until he'd gotten a cookie from the cookie jar, so to speak. Except in Cloud's case, he wanted something less innocent than a cookie.

The thought caused Zack to sigh deeply and ran a hand through his hair. He was starting to feel defeated, "But that's exactly the thing." Zack ground out in frustration as he gripped a lock of his hair, "How do I deal with situations like these?"

Despite Zack's frustrated outbreak, Lucrecia was actually glad that he had asked the question. He was now implicitly admitting that the scope of the entire situation was too big for him to carry alone. Even though he'd faithfully followed her directions for Cloud's treatment, he was always just a bit hesitant and resisting. It was becoming more obvious that Zack, even though he had been the one most eager to get Cloud some therapy, was actually not satisfied how it was going.

It wasn't his fault. There were few people who knew what to expect. The recovery of an illness, whether it was mental or physical, was never a simple linear line upwards. Instead it was curved, and very bumpy, and Zack started to realise that now. The uncertainties had been gnawing at him since the beginning of the actual treatment, leaving him scared and doubtful. Yet this was the first time that he actually voiced it. He was always questioning, wanting to know the details, but now he'd essentially admitted defeat.

And that was the opening Lucrecia had been searching for, "For now, just go along with it. If something like this happens again, just gently prod him with questions so you can figure out what he remembers and what he doesn't. In any case, I would like to schedule another appointment for tomorrow."

"You want to check up on Cloud to see whether he indeed will snap out of it?" Zack asked with a hopeful expression.

"Not exactly Zack." Lucrecia disagreed, "And it's not really for Cloud. I want to schedule an appointment for you."

"What? For me?" Zack asked in confusion.

Lucrecia nodded, "Yes Zack. This might have started because of Cloud's mental state, but there are at least two people involved here. It has become more clear to me over the past week or so that you could also do well in talking to someone."

Zack thought about the suggestion. He shot a look at Cloud, who had been silent like Zack had requested of him, though the pout was still very much present on his face. Looking at his best friend made Zack realise how true Lucrecia's words were. Though Cloud was obviously the one who needed help here, it was true that Zack has some issues to sort out for himself as well. He was still ashamed to admit to some of the stuff he did for Cloud, and he was growing increasingly scared about having to leave him to join SOLDIER.

Thinking about his dream tore Zack apart. It had always been his dream. He'd given it up for Cloud, but it had never really left him. When Sephiroth had offered him the deal, he couldn't have been happier. But now that the dreaded date was getting closer by the day, the dream was becoming more of a burden. Nowadays he was more concerned about keeping some aspects of his and Cloud's relationship a secret than with thinking of becoming a hero. Something had changed upon arriving in Midgar. So much had happened in such little time, and he had struggled greatly to keep up with it. Perhaps it was a good idea to have someone help him do so.

He looked back to Lucrecia and nodded, "All right. I'll see you tomorrow then."

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A/N: So yeah…I guess you can see why I had so much fun with this chapter. Writing a child-like version of Cloud was a blast, though I do feel sorry for what I'm putting him through. Darn Hojo with his mad scientist ways *shakes fist*. He'll probably be thrilled upon finding out. But now Zack is finally offered the help he needs as well. The next chapter will be mostly about him. I'd say it's about time :P.

Until next time! Leave a review on your way out please!