Warning: Some violence and rough sex.
I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many times I've kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is broken
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I cannot be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry
"Please don't leave me" – Pink
Tempest – Chapter 20
Emma slowly slides up Regina's sweaty and quivering body, gliding between parted thighs, over twitching abdominal muscles and across a chest flushed deep crimson. The darker woman tangles her fingers in long blonde tresses and pulls Emma down to meet her lips. Regina feels a fresh wave of arousal as she tastes herself on Emma's tongue and lips, swollen from pressing against Regina's core. The mayor's most recent orgasm is still making her body tremble as she unconsciously grinds herself against Emma's pelvis pressed between her legs.
"You're gonna be the death of me, you know," Emma says, striving to breathe, pausing her kisses momentarily to revel in the delicious sting of the mayor's fingernails raking across her shoulders and down her back. The warmth of the brunette's arms encircles her.
"Oh come now, Miss Swan, you're stronger than that," Regina says, half moaning. Her senses are still flooding with pleasure, the blonde's body on top of her making her – almost – ready for more. The brunette runs her tongue tantalizingly along her own top lip.
"You are insatiable," Emma growls as she kisses down Regina's jaw line and moves to straddle Regina's thigh. The sheriff bears down on the tanned skin beneath her, letting the brunette feel how wet she is, and is quickly rewarded with Regina's eyes rolling back in her skull. Before Regina can move against her to feel more, Emma repositions herself so that her own center is now pressing directly against Regina's wet heat. The brunette's breathing becomes labored, her pulse racing. Emma moans into Regina's ear, losing herself in the connection they've made between their bodies. The blonde feels the other woman's throbbing flesh against her own center and rolls her hips to create more friction for them both. Emma brings her lips against Regina's mouth; her tongue descending passed perfect lips. A groan vibrates in Emma's throat, and Regina inhales it hungrily.
"Look who's talking, dear," Regina smirks, pulling away. Her curved eyebrow dares Emma to turn her down, but they both know the sheriff isn't going anywhere. Regina taunts the blonde by arching her back and emitting a deep keening, only slightly exaggerated, into the thick air between them. Emma leans back away from Regina, resting on her left knee, allowing her an unobstructed, front row view of the mayor's body. She doesn't break the contact between their legs, only watches as Regina runs her hands over her own firm chest, taking hard peaks into her hands and squeezing. The brunette isn't exaggerating anymore as she sighs again, biting her bottom lip. The air is heavy with humidity, as the animalistic pants and groans continue permeating the room. Emma looks on helplessly, a light layer of sweat covering her superheated skin. Her arousal, combined with the heat, is making her dizzy. The blonde knows she has a serious love-hate relationship with the mayor's ability to drive her insane.
Regina's left hand continues kneading her left breast while the other travels down her taut stomach and in between the two of them. "Fuck," is all that Emma can whimper as she feels Regina's fingers press against her clit, desperately trying to minimize the building pressure tugging forcefully at her center. Regina draws quick circles with her fingertips over Emma's hard bundle of nerves. Her own excitement growing exponentially.
The mayor moans in approval before closing her eyes and hooking her ankle over Emma's shoulder. She begins grabbing eagerly with both hands against the blonde's backside, forcing out any space remaining between them. Emma instinctively grinds harder, emanating something halfway between a scream and a moan as she does so, a truly indecipherable whimper, her climax fast approaching.
"You're such an evil bitch," Emma growls, greatly annoyed with how quickly Regina can do this to her. Green eyes burst open upon realizing the words she has just spoken. She had intended it to sound more playful, but instead her words sound bitter and sharp. There had been an inadvertent emphasis on the word evil that she hadn't expected. Regina opens her eyes a moment later, but doesn't stop the motion they've created. A strange and indiscernible expression flashes briefly across Regina's dark features, making Emma uncomfortable and uncertain, her mind and body flooding with adrenaline.
"Regina, I–" Emma stammers, her movements slowing, her body stiffening, willing the other woman to look at her.
"Don't!" the mayor cuts in tersely, causing Emma to inhale sharply, eyes widening in alarm. Regina catches Emma's surprise and heads off her response, grabbing Emma's neck roughly, bringing the other woman as close against her own body as the elasticity of her leg allows. Regina refuses to falter, continuing to move at a steady rhythm against Emma, staring directly into her eyes. A new intensity is born between them that was, until this moment, previously unknown to either woman. Slowly, the blonde begins to move, tentatively at first, intuitively meeting her partner's center at every rise and fall. Her baser instincts are taking over, her body greedily seeks the pleasure Regina is offering. After several minutes, Emma finds herself relaxing. She closes her eyes, unconsciously murmuring against her lover's cheek, pleasure building within her. Regina sighs contentedly in response, sliding her hand gently down Emma's cheek, across her silky white neck, before unexpectedly and mercilessly jabbing her thumb hard into the black and blue bruise she'd left on Emma's neck earlier. Emma's eyes open wide in shock and disbelief. She is unable to prevent the scream that erupts from her chest, agony flooding every nerve in her body. Immense pain shoots from her neck to the tip of her toes and radiates everywhere in between. The sheriff feels her stomach clench and her throat tighten, black spots appearing in her vision. She is stunned, the room is silent apart for the ragged breaths of both women.
Emma feels herself moving again before she can stop herself. She briefly wonders if the adrenaline pumping through her veins has driven her to temporary insanity, or if this is simply the result of the resentment she's held in for so long. But that's where her thoughts end because whatever the root of her feelings, Emma thrusts her hand fast and hard to Regina's throat and begins to squeeze. Emma has never in her life felt the urge to do this before. She's never wanted to mix pleasure and pain. Never understood the appeal. But now she wants to really hurt Regina and is surprised to find the sensation is not only terrifying, but somewhat thrilling.
Regina's brings her eyes to Emma's, surprise and fear shimmering within them. A moan of sheer desire springs from the mayor. But, the hand pressed firmly against her windpipe strangles the moan, and the sound results in nothing more than a gurgle emptying into the air between them. An inexplicable rage boils in the blonde's stomach as she thrusts more forcefully against the other woman. Regina tries to moan again, her hips moving faster against the blonde, and an incredible rush of pleasure floods her senses. The mayor recognizes the toxic storm growing behind the sheriff's narrowed green eyes and attempts a sick smile, readying herself for the punishment she knows she deserves. Regina discerns this woman's wrath is her due, more poignant than Emma could ever know, and convinces herself she deserves every penance this woman can bring down upon her. The fingers around the mayor's throat tighten. Feeling the last of her oxygen leaving her lungs, Regina wonders fleetingly if she might even stop feeling like the moral underdog to Emma's perfect white light. This makes the brunette laugh inwardly, thinking fondly of the other woman's persistently annoying can't-do-wrong attitude. She recognizes that even in the face of Regina's unrelenting cruelty, Emma Swan has always taken the higher ground. Has always kept her cool, never fought dirty. Until now. Something has changed, and they both feel it.
Emma watches the scene unfold beneath her as if from outside herself. She feels both horrified and wretchedly disconnected from the events, observing her own bared teeth and white knuckles. Her grip tightens and she is sure that Regina can't breathe. Pure unadulterated fury frenzies inside the blonde. Thunder and lightning clashing in her eyes and ears from the effort she's expending on the body beneath her. The sight of Regina coming undone underneath her only intensives the anger. The fire coursing through her body threatens to spill over the pair and ignite the room. Emma squeezes down on the delicate neck beneath her even harder, now grinding her lower half so brutally against Regina that she begins to feel her own flesh burn under the friction.
If Emma could pause and think about this, she might be able to make sense of it and move away. She would will her body to stop. But something dark is consuming her, invading Emma's heart, leaving her with no willpower to fight the ire washing over her. The blackness grows inside of her unchecked, forcing more abject hatred through her veins until it is virtually rushing out her pores. The anger invades her senses, her brain rendered useless. The unseen evil moves her hands and her body like an invisible puppeteer, and while still staring directly into Regina's eyes, the sheriff feels the sting of tears in her own.
The mayor watches the blonde's tear-filled eyes above her, unable to believe the strength of her own body's betrayal, unable to contain her impending climax. She discovers that she hopes Emma will go even further, even though she has no breath left in her chest. As if sensing Regina's need for added retribution, Emma somehow manages to grip more tightly still and slams her body against the other woman until finally the brunette tumbles over the precipice, awash with pleasure, body jerking in twisted delight, a pitiful whimper trapped behind her lips. Regina can hardly keep her eyes open as she feels her body spasm and stiffen under Emma. The last thing the mayor sees before her world fades to black is Emma's top lip curled in a snarl, the sheriff's bicep bulging from exertion.
As soon as Regina stops moving, Emma feels the darkness release her. She lets go of the mayor's neck immediately, mortified by what she's just done. The blonde jumps back, scalded by her own horrific behavior, quickly scurrying off the other woman's naked body. Emma can't believe what has just happened. She looks down at her hand as if she expected to find evidence that it had a life of its own. Proof that she hadn't just been choking the shit out of Regina. The blonde is stunned. She opens her mouth in the hopes that some sort of explanation will spring forward, but nothing comes. Crushing silence fills the room.
Slowly Regina regains consciousness, her first thought registering that Emma's comforting weight and warmth are no longer encompassing her. Immediately she starts to panic. She has gone too far. She can see it all over Emma's face. Shame and embarrassment wash over Regina unmitigated, sickly sweet poison infiltrating her every breath. The brunette sits up and covers herself quickly, the sheet bunched up around her. The minimal dressing does little to ease the feeling that she has just lain herself bare and been rejected. Regina feels the scorching heat of Emma's eyes on her, the invasive glare of judgment. She is wounded, not unlike the bruise forming around her neck, and can't recover. She feels her lungs burning, trying to steady her breathing, trying to somehow make this entire awful experience disappear.
Emma sits frozen on the opposite end of the bed, awkwardly resting on her knees. She is struggling, mouth agape, desperately trying to piece it together, begging the situation to make sense. Find reason for the damage she has done. All she can do is gawk at the brunette whose expression is akin to terror. Regina is flushed and gasping for air. Emma has hurt the other woman badly. In a desperate attempt to feel comfort of any kind, to apologize for this most serious offense, she extends her hand toward the brunette. She just wants to soothe the angry red marks on the brunette's throat. Regina filches and jerks back, her head hitting the headboard with a loud bang. Emma retracts her hand quickly. Of course she is afraid of you, you almost killed her! What's wrong with you? Emma berates herself, fearing she can never ever hope to make this right. The sheriff's stomach churns and clenches hard for the second time tonight, bile rising against the back of her throat. Eyes lowered in self-disgust, she slides off the bed.
Regina misunderstands her partner's movements, thinking she she's being pitied, and she doesn't want it. Her submission to the other woman's rage was supposed to balance the scales. Take some gleam off the knight's shining armor. Not turn around and make her feel worse. Dirty. A snarl forms on the mayor's trembling lips.
"Get out." Regina's low rumbling voice surprises them both, the crushing force on her neck having left her extraordinarily hoarse. Dark eyes bore through Emma with a hatred the younger woman has never seen before. The disdain is almost palpable, and Emma braces herself to keep from flinching against its weight. She wants to apologize for grabbing Regina, for calling her a bitch. She doesn't understand how this spiraled out of control. Green eyes dart around the room nervously, searching for answers but finding none. Emma stands at the foot of the bed, too uncertain to move, still horrified with herself.
"Get. The fuck. Out of my house!" Regina repeats more forcefully, making the damage to her voice even more obvious. Emma can feel tears waiting just behind her eyes, threatening to tumble out and become the crowning jewel to this horrible evening-gone-wrong. The blonde is sure she is going to vomit. Her body has turned to stone and she can't move. Can't make herself run away. A skill she used to be so good at.
"Regina, I am so sorry. I don't know why. . . ." Emma begins meekly, almost childlike as she tries to explain, but there is nothing she can really say. Her voice breaks, trailing off, "I …" before giving up. Her green eyes are trained on the floor, and she can't look up. She can't face her clearly defined handprint now turning the skin around Regina's neck a deep purple.
"I don't need your pity, Ms. Swan." Regina spits out, furious at the blonde's attempt to humiliate her for wanting what she needed. For seeking reparation.
"Pity!?" Emma asks, thoroughly confused, certain she's misheard. "I don't pity you, Regina. I am sorry that I hurt you." Emma dares lift her gaze toward Regina's face, only to find that her challenger has looked away. "I'm sorry that I called you that, and I'm sorry that I grabbed you. I should never have–" Emma is trying to keep her voice steady, but falters at the end.
"Yes, I am sure you are sorry, Ms. Swan. You are always sorry. Sorry and pitiful." Regina laughs at her comment dryly, dragging out the last word so that it burns the woman across from her. The woman she cannot bear to look at now. The mayor coughs softly, her throat stinging.
It is a long while before either one of them speaks again. Emma's mind is racing. She ponders, not for the first time, whether Regina is bipolar or has multiple personality disorder. She can't fathom how this has happened. How this evening, or her life, has managed to take this turn. She feels her heart crumbling in her chest as the devastating realization slowly comes. She looks at Regina once more, as if in confirmation, taking in the empty, dark eyes before her. Emma's heart simply cannot accept that this is the same woman who has continually held her and kissed her with no limit of passion or tenderness. The same woman who repeatedly makes Emma feel loved with just a penetrating gaze, even though the words have never actually been spoken between them. In stark contrast, Emma finds the woman before her is radiating coldness and projecting something similar to abject hatred. She shakes her head.
"I will not keep doing this with you, Regina." Emma can no longer hold back the tears, frustration and disappointment now heavy within her.
"Doing what, dear?" Regina asks contemptuously, letting the white sheet fall around her waist, daring Emma to take in her exposed chest. Emma looks away again, feeling more disheartened now than angry at the mayor's predictability.
"You know very well what, Regina. This. This song and dance. The same fucking shit over and over. We get close, I think we might have a chance, and then we go back to this." Emma's voice is shaky and raw.
"Despite the fact that you are shockingly articulate, Ms. Swan, I have no idea what you are referring to." Regina leans back against the headboard. Her exterior appears disturbingly calm, and it makes the blood rush hot through Emma's body.
"You don't even call me by my fucking name! And it's always the same fucking push and pull. It's never going to stop is it? All these little games you play to keep yourself walled off. I just keep waiting like a fucking asshole for you to drop it and just be real with me, but I'm obviously delusional!" Emma is screaming at the top of her lungs by the time she's finished voicing her thoughts. She has never used so many expletives at one time. "You are never going to go on a regular date with me, or ask me to spend the night. You are never going to suggest staying over at my apartment, or going out with my friends someplace. Where is this even going? I mean, at some point the excitement of fucking is going to wear off, and what then? Hmm? You going to just throw me away?" Emma speaks the last words as if she is having an epiphany, more for her own benefit than Regina's.
"Is that what this is all about, Ms. Swan? You want to play house? Wake up in each other's arms and spend the day at the Storybrooke Farmer's Market with your loser friends?" Emma is stunned by the brunette's derisive tone. And suddenly it's as if someone is pouring a bucket of ice water over her head, making her acutely aware of how very wrong she's been about this whole relationship. She obviously doesn't know this woman at all. Emma sighs, feeling like a complete and total fool. A lovesick idiot, unwilling to see the reality in front of her.
"You know what I think, Regina?" Emma says with a strange lilting laugh.
"I'm sure you will enlighten me, dear," Regina says with indifference, her boredom evident even in the dim light. Emma feels sweat trickling down her temple, and before she's realized it, she's made a decision that she knows may cost her both the woman she loves and their son. Emma takes a deep breath, there was no stopping now. She would say every little thing she thought and then never speak to this monster again.
"I was completely wrong about you. I thought that all of this was an act . . . that you weren't truly a cruel or vicious person. That you had obviously had your heart so mangled that you were protecting it, but that underneath all of the shit, there would be a woman capable of feelings. A woman who felt something for me. Something bigger than just sex. I have seen the way you love your son . . ." Emma waivers briefly before forcing herself onward. "Our son. . . And that made me believe that there was more to you. That you would realize that you could trust me and let me in. That you would see that this isn't easy for me either." Emma swallows the knot in her throat and forces herself to continue. She doesn't want to relive this moment later only to regret not having said her piece, regardless of whether Regina deserves this much honesty.
"In the rare moments when you let your guard down, when you are truly yourself. When you look at me and I can feel that this is so much more than just lust . . ." Emma's voice softens and she feels her heart sink with the finality of it all. "There have been so many times I thought that you were so close to admitting your feelings, and then I could admit it too. Then we would finally stop this, and just be normal." A new surge of tears teeters perilously at the precipice of devastated green eyes. "I knew that it wouldn't be an overnight thing, but I thought that we would make progress. At first when I'd come over and we'd all be together . . . as a family," Emma whispered the word. "I was sure that it was a step in the right direction, but nothing has changed. Nothing. And now I know that nothing ever will because this," She gestures at the woman in front of her, "is no act. This is who you are and I was wrong. Profoundly and horribly wrong." Emma doesn't realize the weight of that statement until she hears it flow from her, feels it reverberate around the room and return to hit her square in the chest. She doubles over, the wind knocked out of her lungs. A torrent of tears springs forth and anguish surges directly from her soul, her cheeks streaked raw by intense sorrow.
"I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Ms. Swan." Regina's words drip with sarcasm. "If you remember, I did tell you that I couldn't give you want you wanted. I told you what this was and you decided to believe otherwise. I warned you and now you're upset because you didn't want to see the truth." Dark eyes stared through the blonde falling apart in front of her. Regina remained emotionless, indifferent. There was no regret. No sadness. No love.
Emma let herself cry for another moment, resolute in her decision to leave this all here in the mayor's bedroom before moving on. Regina, with something resembling amusement twinkling in her eyes, trademark smirk clearly on her lips, studies the sheriff but allows her this time. Finally, the blonde bows her head, staring down at her own feet. She makes a fist and brings it up to her mouth where she bites down hard to stop a new flow of tears. It takes several moments for the sobs to ebb - before she feels she can speak again. Emma looks back at Regina's stoic face, her cheeks red, and eyes despondent.
"Madam Mayor, please consider this my two weeks' notice. I will be resigning as Sheriff and leaving Storybrooke. I would like to tell Henry myself and spend some time with him before I leave. There is no reason that he should suffer because of what has happened between us. I don't want him to think that I am leaving him." Emma's voice is shaking, but she fights hard to keep from shedding more tears in front of Regina.
"I accept your resignation, Sheriff Swan." Regina said calmly, without hesitation. "I will allow you to see my son, but if I so much as suspect that you are thinking of taking him with you, so help me–"
"Are you fucking kidding me, Regina?! You think I'm going to steal him?! You are fucking nuts, lady. Good-bye Mayor Mills, have a nice life. I hope you enjoy your miserable existence." Emma waves a hand absently in Regina's direction, effectively dismissing the mayor and the misery she's brought to her life. Emma collects her clothes and boots in one fell swoop and walks out of the mayor's room stark naked. She dresses quickly and quietly in the hallway before descending the stairs and out into the cold morning. The sun is just beginning to peek out over the sleepy town. Emma zips up her leather jacket to the collar, the zipper rubbing under her chin, and jams her hands into the pockets before beginning her trek back to Mary Margaret's house.
Emma stops as she reaches the sidewalk. She pivots on her heel, taking one last look at the house. It seems like lifetimes ago when she had driven up to the driveway in her yellow VW with Henry talking excitedly about fairytale princesses and evil queens. She had honestly been in shock when the kid had shown up, and it hadn't really meant much until Regina Mills opened the door. From the instant she saw her, Emma had felt like she was struck with an arrow through the chest. How corny, she thinks to herself now. But despite how trite it sounded, Emma knows she has loved Regina since first laying eyes on her. Emma didn't understand how it's possible, but she knows it's true. She had promised herself no more tears, but she feels them on her cheeks again, emotion forcing a choked cry from somewhere deep inside her. She remembered that when Regina had kissed her the first time, she thought the stars had finally aligned, that her life was on the mend. That she could be loved. That she was capable of loving someone back. How wrong I was, Emma thinks sadly. In reality, this has been nothing short of a nightmarish extension to her already lonely existence, and now as Emma squeezes the tears between her eyelashes, she wishes desperately that someone would shake her awake. To put her out of her misery. The blonde exhales dejectedly as she turns back to the sidewalk, every intention of walking away for good. She simply refuses to be played any longer. She would no longer wait for something that was never going to happen. Ruby had been right; she did deserve better.
It's just bright enough for Regina to see Emma from her bedroom window. She watches while the blonde stops at the street and turns back toward the house, memories and emotion clearly playing over sad green eyes. It isn't until Emma turns back towards the street that Regina realizes she's been holding her breath. She notes with some finality that Emma doesn't turn back again - the sheriff clearly determined to walk out of her life for good.
A/N: Thank you so much for all for all the reads, follows and reviews – I really hope you guys like this chapter, I was a little nervous about it. Please review and let me know what you think (it keeps me motivated and makes me extremely happy!)
Thank you again to my wonderful beta RileyGirl1. She has convinced me that there is a little more story to tell, and there will be a few more chapters before Tempest is through. ;)