CHAPTER 20. – AND I DON'T THINK I CAN LOOK AT THIS THE SAME
- MARY -
Oh no.
No no no, Bash couldn't see me like this. Perched over the toilet, puking my guts up. I'd have to tell him I was a week late for my period and he would know I was pregnant. At least I thought I was. I'd never been late for a period in my life. Ever since I first got it when I was thirteen, I'd had one like clockwork every single month, twelve months a year. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't be pregnant.
And then… another thought crossed my mind.
Bash wasn't the only guy I'd slept with since the last time I had my period. It scared me to death when I realized that there was a possibility… that Francis could be the father.
No.
"Mary, are you okay?" Bash asked from the other side of the door.
I was trying not to cry. I was only twenty-one. I couldn't be pregnant. It wasn't impossible… hell, Isobel was a year or so younger than me and she was pregnant (or had just had her baby, we didn't know yet), but this wasn't supposed to happen. The thought of having a baby right now didn't sit well with me, no matter whose baby it was. There was no way to know until it was born.
It was either one brother, or the other one.
How could I hide this? Bash and I couldn't leave each other, so I couldn't sneak off into the city to see a doctor without him knowing. And I couldn't get a pregnancy test to take. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I flushed the toilet once I was sure I was okay and stood up, grabbing some Kleenex to dry off my face. I'd have to keep this a secret. As long as I could. I didn't know for sure that I was really pregnant, but it was impossible for me to be a week late and not be. Bash couldn't know about this. No one could. Of course, I had no one to tell but Bash… and he wasn't going to find out.
Once I was sure I was presentable, I opened the door. Bash was standing there, looking concerned. "I'm alright," I answered. "I think I ate something bad last night."
He frowned. "Oh. I'm sorry." He kissed my forehead and pulled me close. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him. "I hope it's gone now."
"Yeah…" I said. "Me too." Even though… I knew it wasn't going to. Unless I took care of it. And I had no way of doing that.
.
- BASH -
I spent the rest of the day writing while Mary took it easy. I thought I heard her throwing up a couple more times, but I didn't say anything. Whatever she ate must have been really fucking bad to make her this sick.
I was pretty much caught up to current time with my writing. I was stalled until something else exciting happened. I thought about going back and writing some 'fantasy' versions of the scenes, but I had nothing to go on. And I was already about two hundred and fifty pages into this new manuscript. I was surprised I had this much material, but when I went back to proof read, I realized I had a ton of detail and a lot of exposition. So it didn't seem all that surprising.
Mary didn't eat anything for dinner and I was a little concerned. But she was still feeling a little nauseous from her food poisoning and I figured she was waiting for it to get out of her system before she ate something else. Her diet for the day consisted of ginger ale which would at least help with the sickness, even though she despised drinking it. I wanted her to get better and I'm glad she went and got a glass herself instead of me forcing her to drink some.
In the morning she seemed to be a little better. I went on a walk down to the water (which… really, it didn't even qualify as a walk since it was about two feet from the cabin) and just looked at the surroundings. We were so secluded out here. It was peaceful. We didn't have a care in the world. No one could find us and be a constant reminder of what was going on back home.
Part of me wanted to be back there. Isobel no doubt had her baby already. I wanted to go home and meet my niece. I was so sure it was a girl. When I got home, that was one of the first things I was going to do… go see Isobel and my new niece. I had that feeling I was an uncle already. Now I just had to wait on pins and needles to go home.
It really had me thinking about becoming a father. Mary and I would probably have a child once we'd been married for a couple of years. I didn't want to rush into it too quickly. After all, I was only going to be twenty-three this year. Granted, my mother was about this age when she had me, but still… I didn't want to rush. There was no need. And, actually, there was no need for Mary and I to rush into getting married. But that was forced out of…well, I'd say contractual obligation, but… really? Was there an actual document the Valois and Stuart families had signed? I'd never seen it. I bet Mary never had either.
"Mr. James!" I heard a voice call out. I turned to look and see it was the owner of the grounds.
"Mr. Carson," I greeted. "What can I do for you?"
"I was wondering if you could come with me," he said. "Just for a few moments, there's a few things I forgot to have you sign for the cabin."
I nodded. "Of course." He gestured with one arm to the direction he'd come from and I walked by his side the entire way there, which was about a mile and a half to the main cabin where he and his wife resided. As soon as I got there, I knew something was off. It was too quiet in the cabin. My mental red flags sprung up.
And I knew it as soon as someone grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth with a towel, cutting off my air supply.
.
- MARY -
When Bash didn't come home after awhile, I started to get worried. I'd seen him walk away with Mr. Carson but I figured he would have returned by lunch time. He didn't. I had no way to contact him. And I was scared to death to leave the cabin. So I made sure all of the doors and windows were locked, and the blinds were shut, before I sat on the couch in the living room and waited with my legs pulled up to my chest.
I kept a bucket by my side to throw up in since it seemed like this morning sickness was horrible. Added to my anxiety and I was basically a train wreck now. I didn't like it. Not at all. There were so many things I was stressed out about, I didn't need one more thing like being pregnant, or Bash not coming home.
Five o'clock rolled around and Bash still hadn't returned. Now I was terrified. I thought the worst. Surely Mr. Carson would have come and gotten me if anything happened to him, right? Right?
Then there was a knock on the cabin door.
I cautiously got up. I slowly walked over to the door and looked through the peephole. There was no one there. But I wasn't taking the chance that someone was out there, waiting for me around a corner. So I went and peeked through all of the blinds around the cabin and saw nothing. I went back to the door and opened it.
There was a note there with my name on it.
MARY STUART
Whoever left it knew who I was. I picked it up and quickly shut the door, locking it and put my back against it. I opened the letter quickly and as I read it, I began shaking.
If you ever want to see your precious Sebastian again, you'll be at the main cabin at eight o'clock. One minute later and he dies.
...
A/N: I had this ready last night. I had a good run of muse for some reason (though I'm not complaining) so that's why you get the chapter today! FOREWARNING: There's probably only about 3 chapters left, give or take. But thanks to Carol (who runs Torrance's fan site), I have a seed planted for a new story. It's another AU so I'll be starting that as soon as I finish this little gem. :) Chapter 21 coming soon!