This chapter took me the whole day and I'm really happy with it although my back's killing me! please be so kind to leave reviews, I answer them usually ;) I may be a bit absent from now on because I've got some exams soon, but it'll be temporary. I'm hella inspired. Thanks for the support!
Chapter 20: It all comes back to me.
"So everything is true." Beca was speaking on the phone, pacing around her living room, with someone from the Pentagon "Well yeah I know but this still means a lot. Yeah, well yes… yes, thank you sir. Thanks, you too." She hung up.
"Well?" she heard Chloe's voice behind her.
"Their story fits." Beca replied "And it fits with my memory too. The Pentagon couldn't check most of the story, mostly because it's not in their database, but there was a fire in the headquarters like Lindsay said, and they could check that Allen was definitely born when Lindsay said and his father was Reggie just like they said. A bunch of stuff, they could confirm." Beca turned around to see Chloe and her jaw dropped. Chloe was standing there with a long red dress, red lipstick, and her beauty was so well highlighted it was breathtaking. Chloe smiled and spun around.
"Well?" Chloe repeated. Beca giggled.
"Chlo, you look fantastic babe." Beca smiled approaching her and put her hands on her hips before kissing her firmly on the lips.
"Yeah?" Chloe smiled pulling apart and putting her arms around Beca's neck. Beca bit her lip and nodded, pressing their foreheads together with her eyes focused on the ginger's lips, before kissing her again. After a quick make out session, Chloe pulled apart again "Come on, they're waiting for us."
"Let's go." Beca took her jacket and purse, and followed Chloe out of their house. They were going to a dinner with Jesse, Aubrey, some work mates of Aubrey, Jesse and Chloe, and some old friends of them too, to celebrate the incoming wedding, that was less than a month apart, set for October 19th.
"Finally!" Aubrey hugged them when they arrived to the restaurant "What took you so long?"
"Sorry Aubrey, I took longer than expected in getting ready." Chloe apologized "You look amazing!"
"You too!" the two friends smiled at each other holding hands and Aubrey introduced them to everyone, since they were the last ones to arrive "Look all these engagement presents! I didn't even know people gift things at engagements…"
"Oh shit, we had a present too!" Chloe looked at Beca sadly.
"Shit, I left it in the bedroom…" Beca face palmed herself "You know what? No worries, I'll go get it in a moment…"
"Don't be ridiculous Beca, you guys didn't have to give us anything, you're our best friends and you've been doing so much to help with the wedding, it's ridiculous." Jesse shook his head handling the girls some cups of wine he had just filled "Come on, forget about it." He grinned happily.
"But it's a lovely gift, and it took us an eternity to find it…" Beca started.
"Don't be silly. Hey, if it means so much to you, it's okay we live in front of each other!" Aubrey shrugged "We'll come get it tonight when we go home."
"That's also right…" Chloe raised her eyebrows and shrugged drinking from her wine.
"I'm gonna go get it." Beca said "It's nothing, what is it, ten minutes? I'll be right back" Beca got up quickly "look, tonight we're gonna be tired and probably drunk, and I know how these things end, we forget and postpone and before we realize you guys are in the honeymoon and the presents are still in our bedroom. I'll be here in a minute, it's no effort."
"You really don't have to Beca…" Aubrey said taking her hand affectionately.
"Yeah, it doesn't matter." Jesse added.
"Bah, for one time I manage to get a good present!" Beca laughed and Chloe smiled kissing her in the cheek.
"Okay, but don't take too long." Chloe accepted. Beca nodded.
"I'll be here in a moment, promise…"
That's all Beca remembered. Next thing she knew, she was waking up lying on a bed, a huge headache bothering her and an incessant beep like an alarm.
"Shut up…" Beca grumbled. She went to raise an arm to hit the alarm and then she realized her arm was hooked in an IV. Her eyes shot open instantly, sitting up, only to get a wave of dizziness and lay back again. She was in a freaking hospital bed, and Jesse, Aubrey, Lindsay and Chloe were around her bed, looking worried.
"Beca…" Chloe went to her quickly.
"What happened? Why does my head hurt so much? What the fuck am I doing here?" Beca bombarded panicking.
"Calm down Becs…" Aubrey said kindly "You fell off the stairs, we got worried you took so long and weren't picking up your phone and Jesse went to look for you."
"Found you down the stairs of your house." Jesse explained "Amazing gift by the way." Chloe smiled a little and squeezed Beca's hand.
"Doctor said you are discharged once you're up. You hit your head, but they said it was just a small concussion, nothing big, and you've already spent the night here so…" Chloe shrugged.
"Your head probably hurts so much because you've had brain surgery and it's a delicate place to hit, but the docs assure you're fine." Aubrey assured "And I saw your scans, it looks good." Beca nodded slowly, sitting up.
Beca then realized Allen wasn't there and looked at Lindsay.
"Where's our boy?" she asked. Lindsay smiled hearing her call Allen hers. It had been a few weeks, but after many meals together and afternoons of Beca playing with Allen, it looked a lot like the old times.
"He's with some friends of mine, I didn't think they'd let him into the hospital." Lindsay answered "Are you feeling alright?"
"Yeah, just this big incredible headache…" Beca grunted and looked down to herself. Thankfully she had an actual pajama and not some hospital robe, but she still needed to change "Do I have any clothes here?" Beca asked Chloe, who nodded.
"Here, I'll help you out."
They went straight to the Beale-Mitchell homestead and Chloe made coffee for everyone and tea for Beca, who preferred it. Conversation started flowing with surprising ease, sitting on the living room, but Beca wasn't paying attention to any of it. For the first time in the whole year, she felt more herself than she had felt so far. It was like if a light had ignited in her brain.
"You okay?" whispered Chloe by her ear, affectionately stroking her forearm.
"Actually…" Beca nodded slowly. Now the effects of the painkillers had kicked in and she felt marvelous "I've never felt better." Chloe raised her eyebrows in surprise and Beca looked at Lindsay, who was laughing about something Jesse had said, that goof "Lindsay!" Beca called her attention and the girl looked at her. Beca smirked with certain familiarity and breathed deeply "Allen was born at the headquarters, right? Because none of us could afford the hospital in that moment, no one had insurance. So there was Riley, and Brooklyn, Natasha, Emile, and me, and we helped you deliver, right?" Lindsay's jaw practically fell to the ground. Chloe's eyes widened in realization.
"You remember that?" Chloe asked surprised.
"And that's not all I remember. That's why I have such a big headache, because the more I think, the more I remember." Beca said. Aubrey's mouth made an 'o'.
"But… how? That's impossible." Aubrey said.
"Well I don't know. Maybe it was falling off the stairs, or maybe I fell because I started remembering and got dizzy, who knows? But my fucking God I feel so me I can't even…" Beca's voice broke and she bit her lip, her eyes watery. Chloe put an arm around her and kissed her cheek.
"That's amazing babe! That's amazing!" Chloe said grinning happily.
"I…" Beca breathed deeply "There are things that are still fuzzy and blank parts but I think that's more because they're very old memories than from nothing else. I remember the Army, the training, the war, the explosion… and I remember the fuckers who got me. But I also remember my home, my mom… Allen growing up…" she gulped a sob. She felt so happy because it was like if she had taken her whole life back, but also overwhelmed and sad, and bittersweet and excited, and it was far too much, so she took a few deep breaths. Jesse smiled excited about it. Beca's face hardened "Then I remember the fucker of my father and I want to break that pretty face of his but… gosh… there was so much good too…"
"Remember that time we jumped off a bridge in the summer?" Lindsay said very excitedly after waiting a few seconds of silence. Beca giggled.
"Yeah, like it only happened once!" Beca added, and Lindsay giggled. Chloe contemplated them wondering if now that Beca remembered Lindsay, she'd leave her for Lindsay. But she said nothing as the brunette shared memories for a while, and then soon, they were alone again, going to the bed.
"You must be in heaven." Chloe commented lying on the bed next to Beca, with an arm around her hip. Beca was just grinning looking at the ceiling.
"God Chloe, I feel so… alive. So myself. I'm not some lost puppy anymore, you know? I remember passwords, and where I kept one thing or another, and Lindsay and Allen, and our friends, our band, the army, my friends… I should start writing my friends and meet again or something." Beca commented so excited she doubted she would be capable of falling asleep.
"That's awesome Becs…" Chloe smiled sincerely, reaching to kiss her cheek and contemplate her with adoration in her eyes. She loved that tiny badass brunette so much it was hard for her to believe she could love her so much. But she did. And she was honestly happy for her, so happy she felt her own chest full with happiness. But it also stung a little. Beca looked down to her and must have seen something in her eyes, cause she frowned a little.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Beca asked stroking Chloe's cheek softly.
Chloe thought about lying to her, but she saw no point in doing so. She had to be honest, open up a little and pray Beca would understand, because at the end Beca had always understood her perfectly well.
"I'm incredibly happy for you, baby, really. But a part of me can't help but wonder if, now that you remember your life, you're gonna go and be back to it, and take Lindsay back and your family…" Beca smiled a little and pulled from Chloe so they were at the same height in bed. Beca turned to lie on her side and stroke Chloe's arm softly.
"I've thought about all of it." Beca recognized "Look, Chloe, I'm not gonna lie to you. What I remember means I'm not the same person you've been with, and not in the sense of nobody it's the same person from one day to another, but in the sense of drastic different, big different. But thing is, before we met I was one person. For all these months, I've been a whole other person, a different one, and as that person I came in terms with myself and accepted the new being I was. And now it's like I know these two persons and I'm trying to become this new one that's a mix of them, like I remember before my favorite TV show was one and now it's another, before I didn't like muffins, but you do these muffins that I know I love, before I didn't particularly enjoy certain songs that now I love, and preferred others that I don't like anymore. I've got to pull and push, give and take, concede and change. And at the end, I'm not the one you knew, nor the one Lindsay knew. I'm different." Beca explained. She took Chloe's hand "I remember my family. My parents and how they were, how my house was, my granny, and the people I met on the street. That headquarter with the people there was all I knew of a family for a long time too, and now I remember loving them, losing them and mourning them. I remember happiness and loss. I remember Allen, and I can't wait to see him again because I remember the things he loves the most and I love him so fucking much and can't wait to treat him as my son again. I've missed my son. And I remember Lindsay and now she feels like an old best friend. But… what happened with you and me? living in India, meeting Jesse and Aubrey, having sex with you, and falling asleep with you, and in short, our story? I haven't forgotten any of it. I love all of it and I hold it as something very special Chloe. Priceless. And I remember that I haven't felt for Lindsay the love I used to feel for a very long time, and it cold down, the flame died, we're different persons and although I love her, I love her as my best friend. Now I know you, and I can tell what I feel for you I've never felt it for anyone else." Chloe grinned and Beca smiled giving her a quick peck "You're the cutest, most adorable, amazing human being I know. Together with Allen maybe. And you're the love of my life, Chlo. How could I ever choose somebody else over you, silly?"
Chloe giggled and pulled Beca close, kissing her deeply.
"Mm… you kiss different." Chloe commented in a whisper after a make out session.
"Different as…?" Beca asked.
"As good different." Chloe kissed her again. "Damn Mitchell, you keep getting better and better…"
"What do you say if I show you my just remembered bed skills?" Beca asked raising her eyebrows, and Chloe laughed removing her own shirt and throwing it away.
In the morning, Chloe woke up to an empty bed and went downstairs, finding Beca busy with breakfast, although she immediately looked up to Chloe when she felt her come in.
"Good morning gorgeous." Beca smiled to her "Turns out I know how to make an improved version of pancakes." She added pointing to the pan with her eyebrows.
"Nice." Chloe opined walking towards Beca and giving her a kiss on the cheek "Morning." Beca smiled turning her face to kiss her in the lips.
"So I was thinking, and since I pretty much ruined the dinner the other night, I'm gonna invite you all to dinner tonight, if they can." Beca said "You know, all luxurious place like Aubrey likes, I pay."
"That sounds very nice, but I'm sure they don't feel like it's necessary. They loved your present." Chloe said.
"I know, but still. I want to do something nice for them." Beca replied putting the pancakes on a plate.
"Alright then." Chloe nodded "Listen, I gotta go to work so call them yourself?"
"Sure! Shit I've got class!" Beca remembered university all of the sudden. The first few weeks had happened already and so far it was okay.
"No you don't, you shouldn't go to class for a few days so your head rests a little." Chloe assured kissing her "Don't worry I called your professor, explained what happened, the dean will send you the stuff." Beca breathed deeply in relief.
"You're a life saver." Chloe giggled devouring her pancake.
"Hey, there's something else I'd like to comment with you?" Beca said sitting with Chloe for breakfast. Chloe looked at her inquisitively with her mouth full of pancakes and Beca smiled cleaning some chocolate from Chloe's lip with her thumb, licking her thumb afterwards, to what Chloe's eyes widened "Sex later, now focus." Beca laughed "I was thinking of going to see my dad in the weekend." Chloe gulped.
"Firstly, since when do you call him your dad? And secondly, why? That man already proved you the kind of person he is, and now you actually remember what he was like."
"I don't know… I want to go alone and catch him alone. I need something… I don't know what yet but I feel there's more to our conversation, you know?" Chloe shook her head.
"No but if your instinct is guiding you there then…" she shrugged "go on. But Beca, be careful okay?"
"Yeah." Beca nodded "I spoke with Lindsay on the phone while you slept and I'm gonna go pick Allen to school today, take him with you for lunch, if that's alright?" Chloe stared at her curiously.
"Look, I don't wanna do like my father and just make him think he was a mistake and like he's not a part of my life anymore. He's been away for far too long and I love him, he's my son. And as my son I want him to recover his relationship with me, and know he can always come here when he needs to, or wants to, that I'll always be there. I want him to get to know you, because I love you, and I want him to love you too." Beca smiled grabbing Chloe's hand.
"Becs…" Chloe sighed and Beca frowned in concern.
"You don't wanna know him better?"
"It's not that. It's just that if I get to know him better, he'll become a part of my life too Beca, and I'll become a part of his, and since I love kids and I'm the kind of person kids love, we'll become attached to each other and you and I haven't been together for that long, imagine what would happen if we broke up." Chloe explained "Listen, I love you, you know that, and I know you love me and I know we're much more of a strong relationship than any seven months old relationship, because we've gone through so much and we lived together before being together but… maybe we're going too fast with Allen."
"Yeah… right…" Beca nodded "Well, just a lunch. Okay? That's all."
"Okay." Chloe nodded "You know I've got nothing against you him or Lindsay right? It's just… before you, I was with Karen, with whom I was for a year and a half or so. And before, it was Linda, nine months. And before it was Owen, a year. And now is you. And I want us to last, but I've had experience enough not to get my hopes too up." Beca nodded.
"Is okay, I get it." Beca smiled to give her confidence.
After Chloe left to work, Beca took her guitar, and this time her fingers seemed to recognize the cords, which made her smile. Before she realized, she had been playing animatedly for three hours, and she felt more alive than ever.
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