Here's the next to last chapter, please enjoy- and please read my note following the chapter.
September 2013: Edited/tweaked. See AN in Chapter One for details.
"Lily." Remus called, chasing after his friend down the hall. The redhead froze for a moment before she continued walking; now walking noticeably faster.
"Lily, please." Lily stopped, her shoulders rose and fell- signaling a deep sigh, and she turned around to face Remus.
"Hello, Remus." Lily said rather sullenly, not happy about the berating she was expecting. Remus reached her, and gave her a smile.
"I was hoping I could talk to you…about, well you know."
"About things between James and I."
"Well, er, yes."
"Do we have to talk here, standing in the middle of the corridor?"
"Oh, no…no, of course not!"
Remus looked around, and his sights landed on the door to his right. He walked over, and finding it to be open, turned around and waved Lily in. She stepped in, and he stepped in behind her. It was an abandoned classroom, and Lily walked over to a table, sitting her bag down on it and then taking a seat on top of it. Remus followed suit, and sat down on the table next to the one on which she was perched.
"So…" Lily started,
"Right…I just…Merlin, I don't know…I think this plan was better in theory."
"You want to know why I'm so upset with James."
"Yes."
"But you think it's weird that you're asking me why."
"Yes, exactly!"
"Well, it is weird that you're asking- but I guess I understand."
"I care about James, Lily. And I care about you…and you both seem to be hurting. I just…I want to understand why you're doing this to yourself, and to him."
"It's…complicated."
"Lily, please. I'm not asking you to speak to him, just to me. You can talk to me, can't you?"
Lily was silent for a moment.
"It's just…I was so conflicted. For months, I was so confused, so frustrated. I was falling for him as James, and I was falling for Raven. And I couldn't choose. Because James was right there, but I could tell Raven anything- and even though James and I had become friends- there were still those walls. I didn't know what to do…so I just avoided the situation all together.
"But when I found out James was Raven…I couldn't avoid it anymore. And I should have been relieved, you know? The two boys who I had been conflicted over were one and the same, it should have been wonderful. But it didn't. It felt like it was all crashing down, and I couldn't process any of it. And then he told me that he'd known, that he knew I was Emerald and I just... I had no idea what to do or say. So I ran, and now…now I'm afraid to confront him about it all.
"I was a bitch for what I said, a coward to run away, and heartless to avoid him ever since. I know I was wrong. I know it's all my fault. But I can't…I can't bring myself to speak to him. I just…I need space, and time…Time to think things out, and gather my courage…I won't avoid him forever."
"No, but probably only because you know you can't."
Lily was silent.
"Remus…"
"It's fine, Lily…I understand…Just…don't wait too long to talk to him, okay? He and Sirius are fighting, and that on top of your situation is really taking its toll on him…So, please…Don't make him suffer much longer, hm?"
"He and Sirius are fighting? Why?"
Remus paused.
"I don't think you want to know."
"If I didn't want to know, I wouldn't have asked, now would I?"
"Lily…"
"Remus, just tell me." Remus sighed.
"Fine…they're fighting because Sirius told James to get over you- and refused to accept James's response that he didn't want to. Sirius got a little mean, and James got a little violent. Which Sirius responded to, of course, and er…well, things escalated a bit more, and now…"
"Now they're not speaking…because of me." Lily said, astounded. Remus scratched his head as he replied.
"Yeah."
"Merlin, I can't believe they're fighting because of me…"
"It is something, but it makes a little more sense if you were there."
"I can't believe I hadn't even noticed they were fighting."
"Well, you have been avoiding James at all costs…"
"Yes, but still…"
"I don't know what to tell you, Lily. I just…I hope you manage to get out of this without breaking James's heart, or your own." And with those last words, Remus stood and left Lily to sit.
-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-
What I Learned Through the Correspondence Project
By Lily Evans
At first, I avoided writing this essay. My experiences with this project were… something else. You see, Professor McGonagall, as I wrote to my partner- I began to fall for him, and I fell hard. It's tough to have feelings for someone you don't know, someone you've never knowingly seen, but it's tougher to have feelings for someone else at the same time. You'd think it'd be a relief to discover those two people you had feelings for were the same person all along, but for some reason it's anything but.
I learned through this project, that you may not know as much about people as you think you do. I learned that my pen pal had a younger sister who died when they were younger, and that he's spent years blaming himself for her death. I never knew that my Housemate had a sister, let alone that he held himself responsible for her unfortunate passing. I learned his parents are distant, and he often feels alone. I'd always him imagining having doting parents. I found out I didn't know him as well as I thought I did, and it made me question how well I know many people I've always assumed I knew.
I learned that people change. Just because someone is an immature bully (or an arrogrant toe-rag, as I may or may not have called a certain someone) at the age of eleven, doesn't mean they're that same immature prat at the age of sixteen. Sometimes you have to let people prove that they've changed, instead of refusing to even give them a chance to prove themselves as something else.
I learned that character is all you need to fall for a person, and it really is the most important thing. Past actions don't matter much if you don't let them, and appearances don't matter much either (not that I've ever placed them over character in importance anyway). It's not fair to hold them against a person- especially when they seem to have changed...
And, it's funny, but I think I've learned something simply from writing this essay…I've learned that I shouldn't let my pride hold me back from giving worthy people a real chance…
I'm sorry, Professor McGonagall- but I don't think I can write any more. Instead of telling you what I've learned, I think I need to go put what I've learned into use…I have an apology to give...but you understand, don't you? I rather imagine you were hoping for something like this when you made the pairings...
Professor McGonagall smiled.
-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-
"James! James! James! " Lily cried, as she chased the messy-haired boy down the hall.
The boy in question finally turned around, which was a good thing as Lily found herself unable to run any longer and stopped, hunching over and clutching her stomach. A puzzled look crossed his face, and he took a step towards her.
"You call me, Evans?"
"Yes!" Lily cried through heavy breaths, squelching a sarcastic reply.
"What do you want?" He asked as he approached her. Lily took one last deep breath before standing back straight up, and look him square in the eye.
"To apologize- for everything." He gaped.
"I- I- I beg your pardon?" She gave a little laugh.
"I want to apologize…I've been absolutely terrible, and I don't know why you didn't give up on me ages ago…I've refused to see what a great person you are- and I've refused to let go of old grudges even though they were between two people quite different from who we are now. I've been a brat, and you really should have stopped trying, stopped caring, ages ago…but I'm glad you didn't."
He continued gaping, she laughed.
"The reason…the reason I reacted like I did to finding out you were Raven was…was because I had found myself falling in love with Raven...and with you. I was incredibly conflicted, especially because of all the things I've held against you for so long…and finding out you were Raven should have made it so much simpler…but for some reason- it only made me feel even more conflicted. I've been trying to hide from the situation, trying to postpone what I've subconsciously known was inevitable…but I finally had to recognize that I needed to simply own up to all.
"I'm sorry, James- for everything. Well, almost everything…because you see- there's one thing I'm not sorry for…and that's the fact that I love you."
James's jaw dropped.
"You- you what?" She smiled, and closed the gap between them. She stood on her tiptoes, and nose to nose- eye to eye, whispered…
"I love you." And then…then, she kissed him. When they finally broke apart, he shook his head- as if trying to clear away a haze…
"You…you really love me?"
"I really love you…" she whispered.
"Good- because I love you too…so much…"
He leaned in to kiss her again, but she returned to her normal height- and pushed her arm out against him to keep him from leaning in. He frowned,
"What?"
"I love you, James- and I want to be with you. But first…as weird as this is going to sound…I need you to make up with Sirius…I can't stand knowing I've broken you two apart…and until you work things out…"
James shook his head, laughing.
"You're something- you know that?" She smiled.
"I know…but that's why you love me." He smiled, and took both her hands in his.
"That's why I love you." He repeated. He paused, "One kiss before I make up with Sirius?"
She shook her head.
"You have to have some kind of incentive- don't you?"
"I think having my best mate back, and finally winning you over is enough- don't you?" She just smiled, and gave him a playful shove away.
"Go find Sirius."
"Yes, ma'am." Suddenly a smirk appeared on her face, and before it could even occur to Lily to question the fact, he swooped down and his lips were on hers. And just as soon as it occurred to her to protest, his lips- and a moment later he himself- were gone.
Lily smiled. It had been an awfully good day.
-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-
James practically skipped back to the dormitory. Actually, he had caught himself skipping for a moment- but had quickly reigned himself in. He had a manly image to maintain, after all.
He had considered pinching himself to make sure it wasn't a dream, but due to the slight fear he had that it was a dream- and his desire to keep dreaming if it was a dream- he had refrained. It truly was surreal, though…Lily Evans- Lily Evans- the girl he had been chasing for years had just confessed that she was in love with him. And then- then she'd kissed him, and it had been some kiss too…Ten times better than he'd ever dreamed….
He reached the portrait, and gave the password. The Fat Lady gave him an odd look because of his chipper mood- she'd grown accustomed to seeing him rather glum recently- but said nothing (astonishingly). James rushed through the common room, never pausing, missing the odd looks he received from the room's occupants. Taking the stairs by twos, he managed to reach the door in record time. He twisted the knob, and swung it open forcefully. Sirius jumped on his bed, startled by the sudden intrusion.
"Bloody hell, Potter, do you have to take the room by storm?"
"SIRIUS!" James cried gleefully, as he raced over to Sirius's bed. "You're never going to guess what happened!" A confused look covered Sirius's face.
"Does this mean you're speaking to me again?"
James made a discarding motion with his hand.
"'Course. The whole thing was rather stupid on both our parts, don't you agree?"
Sirius nodded.
"Yeah, it was."
"And we'll always be best mates, nothing's going to change that."
"'Course not, Marauders stick together through thick and thin."
"Exactly! And this is thick…or thin…I don't really know which is which, actually- but, anyway…you'll never believe what's happened!"
"What?"
"Lily admitted she loved me!"
"WHAT?"
"AND SHE KISSED ME!"
"BLOODY HELL!"
"I KNOW!"
"But if you two got together, what in the sodding hell are you doing here with me?"
James grinned.
"She told me that she couldn't be with me unless you and I made up, said she couldn't stand being the one to break us apart."
"I knew I liked her." Sirius declared, rather ignoring his recent remarks to the contrary. James laughed.
"Merlin…it feels…I feel so…I've got to be dreaming…I've just…I've never been so happy…It's like…Merlin, I don't even know the words."
"You know…I kind of envy you…I don't think I'll ever have the feeling, or a girl as special as Lily."
"Of course you will, Padfoot. You will one day. 'Course she won't be as great as Lily- there's no one as great as her…but you'll find the closest there is."
"Mate, you're whipped." James shoved Sirius playfully,
"Am not." Sirius shoved him back.
"Are too."
They continued to argue with simple two word phrases, shoving each other, and then it turned into a full blown wrestling match. They toppled off the bed, onto the floor- each fighting to throw in a decent blow without getting the wind knocked out of them by the other. As luck would have it, it was when James delivered a decent blow with a cry of "hah!" that Remus walked in.
"What the bloody hell are you two doing?" Remus cried, stopping and staring.
"Moony!" The two boys cried delightfully.
James jumped up first, and offered a hand to Sirius who took it and jumped up with a graceful air. Remus eyed them curiously, trying to understand why the two were sporting grins when they hadn't been speaking as of late and had just been wrestling on the floor…
"We made up." Sirius explained. Ah, well that made sense.
"And Lily told me she loves me." And Lily told James she loved him…wait…
"What?"
"That's right, Remus, she finally confessed," Sirius said, "I guess I owe you those two galleons after all."
"You two bet on my love life?" James cried out indignantly.
"Mate, to be fair…in order for us to have bet on your love life, you'd have had to have one." Sirius pointed out.
"I do so have a love life."
"Now that Lily agreed to date you." Sirius agreed.
"So you two are together then?" Remus asked, "Official and all that."
"Not yet, she said she wouldn't date me unless I made up with Sirius. Said she couldn't stand knowing she's the reason we were broken up."
Remus smiled. "Good for her."
James just continued to grin.
"Say, where's the map? I want to go find her…tell her we made up…see if she'll agree to date me officially…"
Remus pulled the parchment out of his pocket.
"Here. Take it. But as I was leaving the library, she was entering it. She's probably still there."
"Thanks, mate. Later, Sirius, Remus."
With that, James quickly left- off in search of Lily.
"I can't believe she finally admitted she had feeling for him." Sirius said, "Hell, I can barely believe that she has feelings for him."
"I can believe she has feelings for him, but I am surprised she confessed so soon. I was beginning to believe she'd leave Hogwarts for the summer without saying a word."
"She almost did, we leave tomorrow." Sirius pointed out.
"True…"
"You know, James isn't going to shut up about her all summer." Sirius said with realization.
"He never has before either."
"He does some; now that they're finally together…we'll never hear the end of it."
"I wouldn't worry too much, Sirius. I can't help but think that the hardest part between the two of them was getting Lily to own up to her feelings, and getting them together. I'm not saying it'll be simple from here on out, but I think it'll be better…"
"Merlin, I hope so. I'm sick of whiny Prongs."
"Hear, here."
-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-
As the last of the students boarded the Hogwarts Express the next day, Lily and Maddy found themselves in a compartment with the Marauders. Lily sat snuggled into James's side, his arm hanging loosely around her – a grin plastered on his face. Peter sat on James's other side, and facing him sat Sirius- who looked as though he was plotting some type of trouble. Remus sat next to Sirius, wary as he knew Padfoot would cause some sort of mayhem before they reached King's Cross, and on his other side sat Maddy.
Remus was rather glad that Bridget and Celia were not also in the compartment, as things had been a bit awkward ever since he and Bridget failed to really connect on their date. They were still friends, but things hadn't returned to normal yet after their failure to hit it off. Remus thought this might be a rather good thing anyways as he really couldn't see himself maintaining a relationship while keeping his lycanthropy a secret, but he also didn't think any girl would want to date him if they knew he was a werewolf.
Sirius found himself happier for Lily and James than he had expected to be. He truly was rather jealous of the pair, but managed to keep those feelings to a limit. He wanted his best friend to be happy, and Lily clearly made him happy. He knew deep down that he would always be James's best mate, as well as his brother, and he had to admit Lily was a wonderful girl. While Sirius could only hope to find a girl so special some day, he would be happy standing on the sidelines watching as his friends were so happy.
Peter felt slightly left out, despite the fact that he wasn't the only single one in the room. He felt as though the addition of Lily (and Maddy as a consequence) to their circle was slowly edging him out- and he felt fearful for his position. The Marauders had given him so much, and he wasn't ready to lose it. Unfortunately for Peter, and the rest, those feelings would only increase- and it would be what leads to his eventual betrayal.
Lily and James were both very happy to finally be together. Their relationship would always have a bit of tumultuousness about it- but they would always have a strong love for one another. As Remus predicted- they would last quite a while, and they would be quite happy. Their lives would be short, as would be their time together, but their love was full and strong- and they would be happy until the end.
I really don't like this chapter- but it was the best I've found myself able to do. One day, I'll probably come back and mess with it- but for now this is what there is. I didn't really edit like I should have because I really don't like it, but want to finish it and give you something. And to give you an idea of just how much I don't like this chapter, on my computer the document is labeled "Yuck." No- I'm not kidding.
The "epilogue" should be up soon. I wrote it out before I wrote this chapter, and I like it a bit better. I'll tweak it some, and then post it for your enjoyment.
I'm sorry for not giving you something I felt more confident it, but if I didn't finish it soon I wouldn't have time until the summer. I'm getting increasingly busier as the end of the school year draws closer.
Please review, and please stick around for the final chapter.
You all are absolutely wonderful for reading, but you're even more wonderful when you review!