Chapter 20!
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Sitting in his Lancaster hotel suite, Elliot's mind was a mess. Brock had been right - after three long years he'd come back to find that the world, as he knew it had been completely turned upside down! During his time away he'd thought about her often, imagining how she was living her life without him. Had she forgiven him for the way he left? If she'd found someone special… was she happy? He'd run so many scenarios through his head of the person she'd be when… if he ever saw her again, it was the hope he held onto when he was so deep inside his cover that he felt he'd lose himself in the world he'd been sent to infiltrate but just thinking about seeing her again, making things right – it was his tether to Elliot Stabler. Still, with all the ways he'd imagined reuniting with her, never in a million years would he have thought he'd be coming home to find her the way he had. What exactly had happened to her?
Walking into that room, seeing her there in that hospital bed, beaten and emotionally broken - he wanted to kill the bastard who'd hurt her, would have with his bare hands if he could have but in that moment none of it mattered; the only thing that mattered was that she was there, in the flesh and the look in her eyes and the way she'd allowed him to hold her and cried in his arms let him know that in spite of what she said, she needed him there just as much as he needed to be there.
He'd learned from what little his director had filled him in on and from the news report that she'd been kidnapped and held captive for three months and that she'd only been found yesterday but, as his director had also explained, the case was very new and they didn't have much intel as of yet but they did know that she'd been raped and tortured consistently throughout her capture and that the man in question was himself a fugitive from the law for over 20 years and turned out to be the father of a man who had also gone after Olivia just last year and spent four days torturing her before she was found by the NYPD.
"How the fuck could they have let this happen to her twice?!" He wondered, anger seeping from every pore in his body as he'd skimmed over the files from the William Lewis case. Reading the man's history, the timeline of the four days he'd been alone with Olivia, her statement and the medical reports... She'd gone through this hell while he'd been off cluelessly galavanting on the other side of the world and she had no one! No one to protect her, no one to help her, no one who'd even noticed that anything was wrong until the psycho had her in his clutches for two days but his issue wasn't with them, it was with himself.
Partners for better or worse...
He'd promised her but when worse decided to pay him a visit he wasn't able to handle it and walked away without so much as a warning to one of the most important people in his life; his partner, his right hand, the one person who truly knew and understood him and loved him anyway in spite of his many flaws and how did he repay her? He left. He knew that he was all she had, that in spite of her resistance to ever have to depend on anyone, she depended on him, trusted him to be the one person who would never disappoint her but after all was said and done he'd been the one who'd disappointed her most; not only was he not there for her when she needed him most, letting her fall prey to this Lewis prick twice, but he failed her again while the bastard's father did unspeakable things to her for three months.
The things he'd discovered about her ordeal with the son was more than enough to make him physically ill. He had no idea what he'd be in for when he'd find out just what went on inside the house where Olivia had been held since April but he knew one thing - no matter how much she pushed him away, he would never leave her again, he'd be here, by her side - where he should have been all along. He would never let her down again.
Partners for better or worse...
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After Elliot had gone she'd insisted that everyone leave her alone when they'd tried to offer her comfort after how upset she'd been with seeing Elliot today. She understood that they were only trying to help and be supportive but she couldn't help feeling suffocated.
Who the hell did he think he was walking in here after three years like nothing happened? He left me, walked away from everything we were like nothing mattered and has the audacity to show up... how dare he look at me that way, hold me that way... Let me remember how much I've missed him with everything inside me...
"Don't!" She scolded herself, taking a deep breath as more tears fell down her face, tears that she quickly wiped away. She couldn't afford this right now, these feelings - she was so confused, so unsure about everything right now. She had to room to allow Elliot to occupy her thoughts even if thoughts of him had constantly bombarded her mind these last three months, even if she hadn't wanted them to because after wishing and praying that he'd somehow come for her during her time with Billy - wishes and prayers that went unfulfilled, she'd given up on him; given up on ever seeing him again, ever hearing his voice again and then suddenly here he was... Right here in this room he was here and he was real and she was in his arms and in that moment everything else disappeared; the hurt, the terror, the anguish... Nothing else mattered - until it it did; until she was quickly reminded that she was allowing herself to feel safe with him and just where that mistake had gotten her after twelve long years - alone and feeling like she'd lost the very air she breathed and she couldn't let herself do it again.
She'd known that it was wrong of her - maybe but for a long time (maybe even still) she blamed him for what Lewis had done to her because that part of her that idolized Elliot as more than just a man, that part knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that had he stayed he would have protected her from it. He would have followed her, slept on her couch - whatever it took to make sure that she wouldn't be vulnerable as long as that maniac was free.
Partners for better or worse...
And she believed him, with her whole heart she believed him but he lied. And because he lied, she's been broken and she wants so badly to hate him for it but it's hard to keep hating him when after all was said and done and she was now actually going through the worst hell of her life, he remembered that promise he made so long ago and came back to her. She remembered Sister peg saying to her once that God doesn't come when we want him but he's always right on time. Maybe when she prayed so hard for him those four days, maybe God knew that a time was coming that she'd need him more than she did then. Maybe this was all part of that mysterious divine plan she's always heard people talking about; the one she never, and still doesn't believe in. Maybe...
"It alright if I come in?" Fin asked, peeking his head inside the door. Suddenly jarred from her reverie, she scrambled to wipe her tears and smooth her hair, clearing her throat before answering.
"Yeah, it...it's fine." He could tell looking at her that she'd been crying again; she hasn't really stopped in the last 24 hours.
"You okay?" He wondered as he took a seat beside the bed
"Could you... Not ask me that?"
"I'm sorry" he softly apologized
"No, it's..." She looked away as she felt the sting of fresh tears in her eyes. "I thought I told you all to leave" she said with a forced smiled, trying to lighten the mood and stifle her tears even though she wanted nothing more than to fall apart again... Again... As if she'd ever stopped falling apart.
"Liv, it's okay..."
"It's not" she said in a whisper, shaking her head side to side as she pulled the covers up around her middle and began picking at invisible lint, refusing to meet Fin's eyes. "...and I don't know if it ever will be again"
"I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you will get through this" he promised
"You sound way more confident than I feel"
"That's because I know the woman I'm dealing with" he smiled as he moved from the chair to sit beside her on the bed and putting his arm around her. She let out a deep nervous breath as she leaned into him, putting her head down on his shoulder.
"I've seen you knocked down more times than anybody I've ever known and every time you got back up even stronger."
"I don't think that woman exists anymore"
"Of course she does"
"No, I... Things happened... Things I'm asham-"
"Don't!" He said with all authority "what happened to you...it is not your shame to carry!"
"You wouldn't say that if you knew" she whispered, tears falling as she squeezed her eyes shut to block out a memory.
"Liv..."
"Fin, I'm..." She began, her hands placed on her stomach...her secret that she was about to reveal, but the words died on her lips when the nurse entered her room.
"Ms. Benson, I need to check your stats." She smiled. Fin looked at Olivia, unsure if he should leave her. Olivia sensed his apprehension and turned to assure him.
"It's okay, Fin, I could actually use the time alone when she's done." Still unsure, he decided to respect her wishes and stood up
"Before I forget..." He said, reaching into his pocket and retrieving Elliot's number.
"El left his number"
"I don't want it"
"Then I won't insist but when you're ready... No pressure, baby girl." He said, returning the card to his pocket and turning to leave. "I'll send Sam in when he gets here"
"Thanks Fin"
... ... ...
Out in the hall Fin had taken a seat in the waiting area and was checking his messages when Amanda wandered in.
"Hey" she said quietly
"Just the person I needed to see" he said upon looking up.
"I am? I thought you'd be mad at me for not bein here and..."
"Hey, this is hard for all of us... We deal how we can" Amanda nodded, her eyes full of tears.
"Thanks for understandin. So, where's Nick and Brian?"
"Airport. Cragen's flight gets in in a couple hours."
"It'll be good to see him. What do you need?" She asked, taking a seat beside him.
"Shopping" he said, reaching for his wallet
"You...wanna go shoppin? Now?"
"Not me, you... For Liv. She's gonna be here a few more days and she has nothing here; clothes, shoes... Personal things... Look, whatever you think she needs, just buy"
"I'll take care of it" she said as she took the credit card from his hand.
"Thanks. In spite of everything, you holding up?"
"I'll be fine. But what about you?" She asked
"I'm good, don't worry."
"Impossible. Anybody ever tell you how amazin you are?" She asked with a kiss to him cheek before walking away. "Chief Arlow, hey" she greeted the man as he approached the waiting area.
"Detective" he nodded with a smile as Amanda continued on her way.
"What brings you here?" Fin asked as he stood to greet his fellow officer.
"I was hoping that Sergeant Benson was calm enough to talk. I don't want to push after the ordeal she's been through but I want to clear her, make sure we get her statement before that sick fuck has a chance to open his eyes.
... ... ...
In Olivia's room the nurse had just finished up and was leaving the room when Fin Entered with Arlow.
"Liv, I know you said you wanted some time alone but Chief Arlow needs to take your statement"
"It's okay."
"Are you sure?" Arlow asked
"No, but let's just get it over with"
"If at any time it gets to be too much for you, you say the word and we'll continue another time" he said as he took a seat in the chair beside her bed.
"I'll be outside if you need me" Fin assured her.
"Fin um... Could you... I don't think I can do this alone"
"You sure you want me to hear this?"
"It's not my shame, right? Please stay with me" she pled, reaching for his hand. He gladly took it in his own and sat with her as Chief Arlow put his voice recorder on the bedside table, turning it on and beginning the task at hand.
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He began to go stir crazy just sitting around the hotel, waiting to hear from central. He couldn't just sit here while Olivia was lying in a hospital after being put through hell. Even if she didn't realize it, she needed him and he was going to be there for her...even if she wouldn't actually talk to him, he would sit there at the hospital with everyone else. It was better than driving himself insane with guilt - although he didn't think he'd ever get to a place where he didn't.
"This is all your fault. If you hadn't left her, Lewis wouldn't have gotten to her, his old man wouldn't have felt the need to come after her. You gotta... Do what? There's no way to fix the damage!" He bitterly admitted to himself.
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"What in the world is taking so long?" Bronwyn whined to her attorney about her bail. She had gone before the judge and miraculously had been given bail and now sat in the Lancaster County jail waiting to be sprung.
"It's being taken care of... Five hundred thousand dollars is nothing to sneeze at, you know" Marilyn Binks, Bronwyn's very high-priced attorney reminded the young woman.
"It is when you're worth hundreds of millions now get me out of here!"
"How did you get caught up in such a mess?"
"I fell in love, that's not a crime"
"My God, Carlton and Hugette must be spinning in their mausoleums! The press is already having a field day with this!"
"Let them! I love My husband and no amount of slandering from the press-"
"You were a victim in this just like the woman he kidnapped!" Marilyn yelled
"I was not a victim"
"That's the story we're spinning to the press; you were a lonely, depressed girl who was taken advantage of by your much older and controlling husband."
"You want me to lie? To deny my love for my husband? I won't do it"
"You listen to me you spoiled moron. Your parents worked their asses off to preserve a legacy for you; a legacy that's 5 generations strong and I will not have you sully it with your childish fantasies and half-cocked antics! Now I suggest you get your head out of your over privileged ass and get on board or you lose everything!"
"Well... At least in the end I did it for love!" Bronwyn scoffed, having taken no heed to what was said to her.
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After the surgeries to reattach Harlan's excised penis and repair the damage to his lung, he lay in intensive care at University hospital in Pennsylvia in extremely critical condition. The FBI agents assigned to him keeping careful watch, ready to arrest and transport him to a federal facility as soon as the doctors deemed him stable enough but it was looking like an uphill battle, Harlan having coded overnight.
"Doc, how long before he's good to go?" Agent Carter asked as the doctor exited Harlan's room, a grim look about him.
"This man won't be going anywhere."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, I suggest you get whatever family he's got to say goodbye. He's has severe sepsis of the blood; his organs are failing at an alarming rate and his body has already gone into septic shock. I'll be amazed if he makes it through the night. If you'll excuse me" the doctor apologized before taking leave.
"Call Lancaster. Get the wife." Agent Carter ordered his partner with a roll of his eyes. As far as he was concerned, this was divine retribution for what the sick bastard had done to that woman and Carter hoped that where Harlan was going in hell would be especially hot.
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Doc had done everything he could to delay their arrival to the hospital in Lancaster but after two hours he could put it off no more and had to bite the bullet and go.
"You know sob, I've been thinking; maybe you should see the nice lady on your own today." He said with shifty eyes as he drive toward the hospital.
"You think so?"
"Yeah, I mean she's probably very emotional about whatever happened to her and seeing you will already be a reminder of what she escaped - I still cannot believe that Lucius Holmes could do anything so sick! I just don't think she'd be up for meeting new people right now."
Sam was quiet for a moment as he thought about what his father said.
"You're right, man, I hadn't even thought of it that way. Thanks dad"
"That's what your old man is here for- to always steer you in the right direction." Doc said, feeling ridiculously smug now that he'd dodged that bullet. But he still needed to figure out a way to shut her up. He had no idea if those recordings had been found or if Lucius had been smart and stored them out of the house. But if she talked... he prayed that they stayed buried - right along with a few other secrets... Seven to be exact. If only Lucius had been smarter, she'd have been number eight after pushing out that baby and no one would have been any the wiser!
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Fin sat for the last hour, listening as Olivia gave her statement as best she could to chief Arlow and with every word his heart broke more and more until there was nothing left and his soul began to crumble. He couldn't believe that this had happened, that they had let this happen to her and though he wanted to scream, throw up and destroy something, he kept his emotions in check (save the tears that trailed his face) for Olivia. He would not fall apart while she was fighting so hard to be strong and get through this so he sat, held her hand, gave her tissues when she needed them and whispered reassurances that she could do this all while vowing in his head that he would kill every last motherfucker who'd touched her.
She'd tried to be careful to not make mention of the room downstairs, no idea that Arlow was already aware of what happened there but she couldn't talk about it in front of Fin, couldn't have him know that aside from Harlan, there had been another twenty five men who took sport in violating her and paying for the privilege. After her mind had had a chance to clear she was able to vividly recall both events - twelve of them the first time, fourteen the second (Doc had been in both groups) but when Arlow questioned her about how she'd gotten hold of the scalpel to begin with, she had to tell him about doc and that opened the door to the rest, including how she'd tried to kill herself then before she knew it she was sobbing uncontrollably in Fins arms, unable to go on and Arlow had no choice but to wrap things up and make his exit with all apologies, promising that every man involved would be brought to justice.
"Baby girl..." Fin whispered
"How am I supposed to live with this?" She sobbed "I wish I would have died in that room!"
"Liv, don't ever say that!" Fin couldn't ever bear the thought of that reality.
"They hurt me so bad... He hurt me so bad..."
"It's over now" he soothed
"No... It's not"
"You're safe now, none of them can hurt you"
"You don't under...stand... H-Harlan..."
"You heard Arlow, he won't make it. By tomorrow he'll be as dead as his psycho kid!"
"His kid is a-alive!" she cried, as she looked up at him, nearly choking on the sobs that wretched from her. Fin was completely confused and worried for her mental state.
"Liv... You saw for yourself..."
"Harlan... He said I... He said I had to give him back, it was the reason he took me"
"Give him back?" He asked, still not understanding.
"His son... He said I had to replace him"
"Repla... No!" Fin cried, shaking his head in utter disbelief as it all suddenly became clear. "Baby girl tell me he didn't..."
"I'm...pregnant... And it's his!"
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See y'all next chapter.