To the Future
A HariPo fanfic
by mew-tsubaki
Note: Nothing much to say except for the usual "these characters belong to JK Rowling."
P.S. REVIEW! & don't kill me for the pairing. :)
P.P.S. We're about a third of the way through the story and- *CAR SCREECH AND CRASH* I'm already THIS FAR?! Well, when you consider that I mean I'm three-fifths of the way or so through the story, it's not that much, is it? Any who, tellings came first, love blossomed, and now things are wilting. But fear not! After all, wilting flowers can be rejuvenated with a little bit of water and care…
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The Third Wilt (& the Twentieth Telling)
Ginny collapsed in a heap on her bed that night. Why did Fate toil with her so? Mira and Charlie had discovered her and Sirius, one of her good friends had just suffered a terrible miscarriage, Sirius had been seriously hurt (in her mindset, at least), she had discovered that one of them might possibly die, she had that ridiculous argument with him, Dumbledore discovered them, now her parents knew… And that was just the past two weeks!
Sullenly, she stood and folded her arms on the windowsill, resting her chin on top of them. The ebony backdrop that was the night was beautiful at this hour, shining like a puddle of ink flecked by pieces of snow white parchment, the stars. It was a sight so lovely, it almost took Ginny's mind off things. Almost.
While the other Gryffindor girls came in and readied for bed, the redhead did the same. What had turned into one of the longest days of her life would probably end with a short, sleepless night.
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Remus hanged his head in shame for Sirius the next day. "Please tell me you haven't…touched her, mate."
Sirius whistled. "In any other situation, I might be expected to say, 'Oh, I wish I could tell you that.' Not only is that not true, but I wouldn't dare spout that nonsense." He displayed a wry smile. "Damn, that girl-"
Remus turned sickly green. "Oh, Merlin! Don't go giving me details!"
"Yes, well, I'm sure you can make an estimated guess since you know of the birds and the bees," he stated, changing his tone to a sing-song one. "Remus knows of the birds and the bees, and the Whomping Willow tree…"
"Stop that terrible singing!!"
"All right, all right…" Sirius finished retrieving the books Remus was lending him for the fourth years' class. He paused for a moment. "You really hadn't caught on, had you?"
Remus flushed. "In all honesty…no." He grimaced. "I guess I haven't been much of a friend to not have noticed a change in you. I just-" The werewolf ran a hand through his hair. "Must've been preoccupied with my own life."
"As well you should be," Sirius commented. "When someone is involved in all lives but their own, they're just running away from their problems."
Remus glared at him. "What's with all of the common sense you've been driveling these days? You're not much of an academic."
"I ascribe it to too much free time on my hands," Sirius answered flatly. Another moment passed in silence. "Erm… You don't think that you could possibly set up a little meeting with Gin for me?"
"I'm not much of a rule-breaker, Sirius."
"Please…?"
Remus sighed. "…Fine. But I'll be present. The Charm's effects are more like…side-effects, really. I don't think you'd want to experience them."
Sirius felt triumphant. "Yes! Wait. What side-effects? You mean it might do more than just keep us away from one another? Remus! Tell me!!"
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As it turned out, the rest of the week passed without any such meeting between Ginny and Sirius. Ginny had a similar idea in mind, but she was hoping for Sirius to make the first move. Merlin! All men were alike!!
Although, that Sunday proved to work out when Remus approached her. He tapped her shoulder to get her attention.
"See you in my classroom?"
His words were few, but Ginny knew he was trying to not verbalize too much. She nodded and he moved on in the hallway. Relieved, the redhead sped to the other side of the castle and up the stairs to the girls' dormitories in Gryffindor territory. With a quick fix of hair and make-up, she felt half-way decent and presentable –more so than she had in a while.
Just as quickly, she flew down the innumerable stairs and stopped. She probably shouldn't be running through the halls looking like a giddy, giggly girl about to break the rules, eh? She gave her hair a quick pat to make sure it was still in place, and continued down the corridor inside the courtyard. Cheers and applause came from the grass. Ginny saw that Nigel, Mavrick, and Raven were performing a bit for the first years. The redhead smiled. Hey, if they could practice at the same time…
I've gotta get to Remus's classroom, she scolded herself. She rounded the corner and walked straight into someone. Pain traveled through her nose to the rest of her face, and she winced. "Ow, bloody…" Ginny trailed off when the person she had crashed into didn't move. She gulped and slowly looked up. She had a bad feeling.
And that feeling was bad for a reason. Sturgis Reaves stared her down from his six-foot-plus height. Even though, he said nothing, the eye contact was enough to make Ginny's skin crawl. But he closed his eyes and went around her without waiting for her apology.
She watched him leave with a scowl on her face. How could such a stuck-up guy work with her so brilliantly on the Quidditch field?!
Finally, she hurried and entered Remus's classroom. Ginny still felt slightly agitated, but Sirius was there at his old desk, and her hostilities vanished. She would give anything to be able to rush into his arms right now.
Remus appeared at the bookcase to one side of the room and cleared his throat. He looked like he was an instrument in something forbidden, the way his cheeks pinked. "Erm, I'll, uh, be right over here and I'll Charm myself so I won't listen in, but just remember to stay on opposite sides of the room, okay?" He faced the bookshelf and Charmed both the room and himself. Ginny saw Sirius relax a little.
Sirius gave her a smile from across the room. "Not how I imagined things would turn out," he commented.
"Yeah." Her mind raced with things to say, but her throat trapped all her words. She suddenly felt self-conscious and uncomfortable. Not even because Remus was there. Ginny knew the room was sealed off to everyone and that Remus wasn't listening in, but suddenly…
"Gin…?"
She looked up and saw the concerned, puppy-dog expression on Sirius's face. That was it. Suddenly, she couldn't say anything to Sirius. It was as if she could blab everything to the school right then and not care, but talking to Sirius seemed as though she was talking to a stranger. She shook that scary thought out of her mind. No, that couldn't be it.
"Ginny?" Sirius called again.
Her mouth went dry. But that was all she could conclude. Maybe I'm too used to having him around all the time that it threw things out of whack to suddenly be separated, she thought. Ginny straightened up. "Um, I…" am so happy to finally see you, Sirius, was what she wanted to say. What came out was: "…think I forgot to do a Potions assignment. You know how Snape can be, so I better go get it done. I'll see you, Sirius." Her fingers wound themselves around the door handle, unable to recall the times they entwined themselves in Sirius's hair, and she exited the classroom. Her throat still felt constricted. But what surprised her most was that she didn't feel anything about forgetting to tell him she loved him.
What was wrong with her today?!
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The rest of the week was pretty busy as May dwindled in days and the next week was going to be June's first. Still, Ginny wasn't sure how her body could've rejected Sirius in such a way. Why couldn't she have said anything?!
"I think you're worrying too much," Mira told her during Care for Magical Creatures. "Riu is definitely the one for you, Ginny. Of course a sudden separation would impact things. It's not you."
Ginny mumbled in feeble agreement. She numbly reached down to catch the blue-capped ellylon, but it scampered underneath an oleander brush. She sighed. Nothing seemed to be going right.
"There's no reaching for an ellylon," Charlie chastised. He shot his hand forward and plucked the fairy from the ground by its wings. "I told you to dive for it, Ginny."
Again, her agreement was muttered, and Charlie frowned. She dove for another ellylon, but tripped and fell face-first into the dirt instead. She went at it again, but Charlie caught her as she fell once more.
Charlie sighed. "Gin, this is all for your own good. Someone like you deserves better than someone like him. Continue with this assignment and don't think about him, okay?" Her brother walked away then, as if he had solved everything.
But he hadn't, and Mira glared at his back. "I can't believe he said that to you!! I don't care that he's our teacher or your brother! I oughta pop him good for that one!!"
"Mira, don't," Ginny pleaded. "It's nothing. He's just protecting his baby sister."
"Don't give me that excuse! He just doesn't know that Riu is your one-and-only! Your other half! Your soulmate!"
"Mira, stop!" Ginny yelled at her. She huffed a bit and looked away from Miraphina's stunned face. "I don't –I don't want to hear that kind of poppycock right now, so just stop."
Mira superficially recovered. "Yes, okay. Right, then. I think I see some ellylons over there. Shall we?" Mira forced a smile, but Ginny didn't feel the need to even try to smooth things over. Things were screwed up enough as they already were.
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Remus approached her three more times the following week, but each time Ginny came up with some sort of excuse. Whether she actually had Quidditch practice or a History of Magic essay to Write, it didn't matter. The werewolf was smart enough to realize that she was avoiding Sirius, and Remus didn't bother trying to make excuses for her. It was as plain as day to Sirius.
At supper, Sirius had lost his appetite. "Life is unfair," he commented.
Remus stopped chewing his mouthful of roast. Watching hi best mate, he was reminded of his own…situation with Luna. But that was different, since Remus knew he hadn't really fallen for –oh, who was he kidding? He had fallen for that lovely oddball, but he didn't know her feelings for him. Sirius, he thought, was lucky, because Ginny loved him. Although, that idea wasn't definite these days.
"Let me try her tomorrow. I'll tell her she has to come, no matter what. Hopefully, she'll show up," Remus offered.
"After that, my last shot will be the upcoming end-of-the-school-year Hogsmead trip. Otherwise, I'll back off until after this school year, when the stupid Charm wears off. Then, it'll be her decision. Maybe I've done something…"
Across the Great Hall, at the Gryffindor table, the same thought floated into Ginny's mind. Maybe I've done something, she pondered, pausing to munch on a biscuit. Maybe I've done something without realizing it and the rest of me knows what's going on, but my head and heart are still in the dark. Hmm… But what did I do? Did I do anything? I don't think so… She sensed a headache coming on, and wished her friends were eating with her. Mira had an assignment to catch-up on, Nigel and Benton were Merlin-knows-where, Mav and Rave were probably off somewhere doing Merlin-knows-what, and –Ginny choked on her biscuit. Speak-of-the-devil, Reaves was sauntering in now. Please make him sit as far away as possible from me. Please, please, please, please, pl-
He plopped down on the other side of the table, diagonally across from her, even though no one was sitting near them. Reaves ignored her and started eating.
That irked her. This guy-! Any other time, he stared at her like a stalker or a villain. Now he was ignoring her like they were strangers-
She blinked. Strangers. Maybe he could offer some advice on her problem objectively if he answered like a stranger.
That might be crazy enough to work! Ginny finished her biscuit and casually moved her plate to the left so that she sat in front of Reaves. "Hey," she said.
Reaves passed eating, fork mid-air, and looked at her. "Hey," he said.
Ginny had to keep herself from jumping when she finally heard his voice. "Um, I wanted to ask you something…" She waited for a response, but Reaves was back to staring at her. Ginny's cheeks grew hot. "Do you mind if I ask your opinion?" Again, just a stare, so she continued. "Have you ever been so passionate about something and then lost interest when it was taken away from you? Like it becomes alien to you? … No…?" She furrowed her brow in exasperation, and ended up glaring at him. "Look, I know you speak."
He ate a mouthful of mashers.
She gritted her teeth. "Fine, then. What I wanted to ask you is what you would do when something like that happens. But it doesn't look like I'm going to get an answer out of you, does it?"
This time was a bite of roast.
The redhead continued her one-sided conversation. "But I think if you really loved it, then it doesn't matter. I mean, you loved it, right? Doesn't that mean that only your opinion matters? Even if it feels alien, it hasn't changed…" Ginny blinked, realizing she had found her answer. Her smile returned to her face, and she jumped up from her seat. "Thank you, Sturgis!" And she dashed off.
Reaves watched her go, his face completely blank. And then he continued eating.
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That weekend when Remus met her in the hallway, she was already waiting and headed for his classroom five minutes after his head start. Again, she stayed near the classroom doors, but she felt better about finally seeing Sirius this time. Remus worked the spells, and Ginny and Sirius were basically alone.
She was about to open her mouth when Sirius said something. "How are you doing?" He asked tentatively, and she saw the worry lines creasing his face. For some reason, she didn't say anything. Sirius sighed. "Look, I know this must be hard for you. If I've done something, then maybe-"
Her blood abruptly boiled. "Why do you put yourself down?" It came out somewhat like a bark, and he was stunned.
"What do you mean-?"
"Why do you have to blame yourself?!" she yelled. "Why can't you be angry at me or be disappointed with me? Stop feeling sorry for me and blaming yourself!!" She huffed and panted.
Sirius's gaze drifted downward. "Ginny, I'm sorry I've-"
Her eyes went big and she snapped. She threw the doors open and dashed down the corridor, not caring if anyone saw her. Merlin, nothing bloody mattered anymore!
Why did Sirius have to be like that?! Why did everyone treat her that way?! No one got angry at her anymore, or was happy for her! All she ever received was an excuse about people being themselves, and that she needn't worry her pretty little head about anything other than problems pertaining to herself!!
She was running out of breath, but she ignored her lungs' screaming protests to stop. The air stung her eyes and made the tears stream down her cheeks. Her vision blurred, but when her feet slowed down she could make out the Quidditch field. As the Quidditch season was over for the school year, the rafters were bare and no house banners floated in the breeze, so all she saw was brown, mildewed wood.
An urge took hold of her, and she stuck out her right hand. "Accio broom!" Her broom came zooming from behind her and she hopped on, using the same spell to call for the chest containing the Quidditch balls. When it arrived, she grasped one of the Beaters' clubs and moved to unlatch the Bludgers. The two black balls spiraled upward and she lost sight of them, but she chased after them and charged into the sky.
Ginny swung around wildly like a mad woman, but the Bludgers were gone. "Dammit! What the fuck's wrong with people?!" she screamed into the vivid blue expanse. Just then, a Bludger hit her in her right side. She knew those ribs shattered, and she began a speedy, but lofty, hundred-story decent.
Her hair flew around her, and her jeans and T-shirt billowed out like the nimbus clouds that filled her vision. The pull of gravity muddled her thoughts, and she began to oddly smile. What had she been so worried about? The sky was so beautiful and the clouds were so…pretty, she thought. She waited for the contact between body and ground.
It never came. When she had been close enough to hear footsteps on the grass, someone's strong arm caught her and they were now squeezing her tightly to someone's chest. They smelled strongly of parchment and maple…
After what seemed like an eternity, the arms loosened a little and Ginny faced her hero. She was almost speechless to see Sturgis Reaves holding her. "Ah-! Bu-! Whuh-!?"
He ignored her and touched her side. She whimpered at the slightest pressure from his fingers. Reaves glanced at her, and she saw in his eyes what she had seen once before: concern.
But that only reminded her of being babied. Her emotions from earlier returned. "Don't you dare ask me if I'm all right!" she spat, but she felt tears pricking the backs of her eyes again. "Oh, damn it… Why should I always get away with everything?! Why can't I feel like a normal witch? Not a hero of the Second Great War, or anyone's baby sister, or a family's last hope for their only daughter. Why can't I just be Ginny?!"
"Ginevere."
The sound was sweet and husky at the same time. She observed that it was a variation of 'Ginevra', but her mind caught up with the present and she realized that the sweet and husky name had spilled from Reaves' mouth. A humbling calm came over her, even her heart, which had surpassed pounding at six hundred kilometers an hour when he boldly caressed her face.
His thumb brushed the tear tracks from her left cheek and his fingers rested along her jaw. Reaves bent down a bit and brushed his lips on her forehead.
Ginny thought it sweet of him, for he was showing how grateful he was she hadn't died. But then he was kissing away the tears from her eyes and cheeks, and she didn't mind at all. Soon enough, she was kissing him on the mouth, and something inside her opened up. It was as if this were a natural thing to do, something not full of raunchy passion but of endearing love. She felt safe and at ease, and couldn't recall when last she had felt this way.
Sturgis pulled away from her and actually gave her a small smile. "Salty," he chuckled.
If he had been anyone else, she knew she would've broken down again. Yet Sturgis made her feel secure, like nothing in either muggle or wizarding world could harm her. He hadn't hated her all this time. He had been watching over her like a guardian angel, and she wondered how long he had cared this deeply for her.
But she wouldn't ask anything of him right now. She finally had the love she had yearned for, one that made her feel, whole, secure, and truly loved. She was at peace.
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Kinda a 180, don't ya think? AHHH!!! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!! Come on, peoples! It is a Ginrius fanfic, but couples go through all sorts of hardships…and I plan on sending more their way in the next chappies. Hee! … EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!
REVIEW, even if you want my head impaled on a stick Vlad-Tepes-style! (real-life Dracula, for those of you living under a rock and not watching the History Channel).
-mew-tsubaki