Disclaimer - Who cares at this point?
So, results of the poll so far. SannaxTyge and ZeferinoxAgnessa each have one vote. DanixHadi still don't have any. I will be adding another couple to the list soon, but I'm not planning on having too many couples since this is an inter-racial contest.
Here we have another visit to the Grand Hotel in Stockholm (Warning, Pavils is going to continue to be...well...Pavils. Just thought I'd let out a warnign), and then we'll get on with main event.
Please continue to review. I really enjoy reading them. Even the bad ones.
Milas Poli!
Euro-Drama Roadtrip – Episode 11 – Totally Ps'cyp'ed
"Okay, wow!" Ruben exclaimed, looking at the episode title. "These titles are getting worse by the episode! And I thought, "Ukraine, so pull me up", was bad."
"No matter, last time on Euro-Drama Roadtrip, the 20 remaining contestants went to Greece to compete in four different different teams.
The first challenge was a swim through Greek yoghurt, which Berto received the gold medal in. Not bad for a short a** with three nipples from an even smaller country.
Next we had the hair-dryer table tennis, where Hadi was deemed triumphant. Speaking of which, Hadi nearly got voted off at the start of the episode when the Israeli broadcasters found out that he lied about his religion.
Amanda used this to her advantage by telling Pavils to convince as many people as possible to vote off Hadi.
Hadi was still saved nonetheless. It turned out this was all part of Amanda's plan to make Pavils look bad after he…did something that got our viewer's certificate raised to PG-13 or whatever film censors they have in the rest of Europe.
See, we don't have any censors in Sweden at the moment because we're AWESOME!
(I sure had a lot of fun forcing my nephew to watch Saw)
The next challenge was the mace toss. Pavils was rubbish at it, but Mirzo, the Bosnian contestant, won the gold medal in that event!
The Animal Painting was my personal favourite. We got to watch four of the contestants try and tattoo animal faces onto live wild animals. It was fun seeing Adrijana suffer. Her curse is good for ratings (but not in the Netherlands)!
The final challenge was the Mascot 10k. In a shocking twist, Luko passed out and had to be taken to hospital to get his blood sugar tested. We shall find out what happened to him later in this episode...
In the end, the losers were Team Bear, and after some tight voting…
Who am I kidding? Pavils got nearly double the vote Adrijana got! So, Pavils was the 9th person to leave Euro-Drama Roadtrip in 20th place.
But who will go next?
Where are we going next?
Will the interns come up with any creative questions?
Find out right now on Euro…Drama…Roadtrip!"
[The Grand Hotel, Stockholm, Sweden]
Emilia sat on her bed in her room. The curtains were all closed and the TV was playing Bambi.
She had a gallon-sized tub of cookie-dough ice cream on her lap.
"Why, Zeferino?" Emilia sighed, as she continued to cry it out. "Why!?"
Just then, there was a knock on the door.
"Room service!" a voice exclaimed.
"They must be here with my ice-cream," Emilia said to herself, and then she went to the door, and opened it.
"Pavils," she said. "You're not room service!"
"I know," Pavils replied, smiling. "But I wanted to talk to you."
"Oh, okay. Come in," Emilia said, and Pavils sat on her bed.
[Hotel Toilet:
Pavils (Latvia): Yes, a rebound chick! This was gonna be a pinch!]
"So, I heard Zeferino broke your heart," Pavils said sadly. "I think it was very unreasonable."
"Yeah, I guess," Emilia replied, sighing. "But he's with Agnessa now, and they seem perfect together."
"Well, if I were Zeferino I wouldn't agree," Pavils said. "You're smart and funny and…"
"Are you flirting with me?" Emilia asked.
"Yeah, it turns out Amanda was a player too," Pavils said. "She was only using me to be in her alliance."
"Zeferino wasn't playing me!" Emilia protested.
"Whatever," replied Pavils. "So, what do you say we grab a condom?"
"Excuse me?" Emilia asked, raising her eyebrow.
"Well, you seem a bit down in the dumps. I thought you could use some sex to cheer you up," Pavils replied, a grin on his face. "And in Sweden the legal age is 15, so we won't be in trouble."
"You know this, how?" Emilia asked suspiciously.
"I did a bit of research in my spare time," Pavils said proudly. "So, what do you say, Emilia? Let's grab a condom!"
"Is that all you look for in a relationship?" Emilia asked angrily.
"Well, no," Pavils said thoughtfully. "But it's the best bit."
"Get out!" Emilia yelled angrily, pointing at the door.
"Oh, playing hard-to-get are you?" Pavils asked, and he produced a €50 note from his pocket. "Well, maybe this will tempt you."
Alma and Rikard walked through the corridors. The latter was covered in bandages
Rikard had volunteered to be Alma's test subject and had immediately regretted it, but at least it was something to do besides sit in the foyer.
"So, I think I'm on track for my medical degree…" Alma said proudly, but she stopped.
The door besides them had swung open and Pavils fell out and crashed into Rikard.
"AND STAY OUT!" Emilia roared from inside.
Pavils was lying on the ground in pain. He had several scratches and bruises all over his body, and two black eyes.
"She doesn't look it, but Emilia sure can throw a punch," Pavils sighed
[Hotel Toilet:
Emilia (Netherlands): I know. What was I thinking, even letting Pavils into my room? I was depressed, okay? I was desperate for a boyfriend. But then he started making all that [she shivers]…sex talk, and then I went back to reality.
That little pervert better watch his step from now on!]
The eighteen contestants were sitting on the bus, waiting for Luko to return, and luckily Marios had the best way to pass the time.
"Hello, guys, and welcome to the Newlywed's Game – European Edition!" he announced.
"Our first couple –
She's a thief from Hungary
He's Israeli with a soft spot for video games…
Dani and Hadi!"
The rest of the bus clapped. Dani and Hadi were both holding their phones, which were on painting apps.
"Our second couple," Marios continued.
"He's a romantic songwriter from Portugal
She's from the streets of Belarus…
Zeferino and Agnessa!"
There was some more applause. Zeferino and Agnessa were also holding phones. Since Agnessa didn't own one, she'd borrowed Katerina's phone.
"And our third couple," Marios announced.
"He's a Type B Farmer from Norway
She's a Paraplegic Daredevil from Denmark.
Our newest couple on Euro-Drama Roadtrip –
Sanna and Tyge!"
"So, here's the deal," said Marios. "You guys will be answered a series of questions about each other. Whoever answers the most correctly before Luko arrives wins immunity in the next challenge."
"How can you make sure of that?" Dani asked.
"Oh come on, we can all trust each other," Marios replied. "Most of us anyway…"
Amanda rolled her eyes.
"So, here's a practise question just to get you in the game," Marios announced. "Would you consider your girlfriend to be a fan of Gwuncan or Duncney?"
Five of the contestants of this gameshow within a gameshow quickly scribbled something down on their phones.
Tyge looked confused for a second.
"What's the matter, Tyge?" Marios asked, smiling.
"I don't get the question," Tyge replied.
"Who do you think would make a better couple?" Marios asked. "Gwen and Duncan, or Duncan and Courtney."
"Oh, that's simple," Tyge replied, and he scribbled something down.
"Okay, times up!" Marios exclaimed. "Let's look at your answers. Hadi, what did you say?"
"Duncney," Hadi replied, holding up his phone.
"Dani, what did you say?" Marios asked.
"I said Duncney as well," Dani replied. "I don't really care who Duncan hooks up with, but I'm a huge fan of Gwent."
"Oh, me too!" Hadi replied, and they both fisted.
[Bus Toilet:
Amanda (Sweden): Dani and Hadi are so cute, that it's nauseating. Two tech-geeks in love. They could make for some potential allies. If I can get Hadi's trust, then I've got Dani's. And if I get Dani's trust then I've got Agnessa's trust, and if I get her trust I get Zeferino's trust! And with all that trust I can get Marios voted off! This is gonna be the best plan yet!]
"Zeferino and Agnessa, please reveal your answers," Marios said.
Zeferino and Agnessa both held up the phones. They both read 'Duncney'.
"Congrats, you are both correct!" Marios exclaimed. "Tyge and Sanna, let us see your votes."
Sanna held up 'Gwucan', while Tyge held up 'Duncney'.
"Oh, not a great start for you guys," Marios said sadly.
"Huh?" Tyge asked. "Why would Gwen and Duncan get together?"
"Um…you mean like they did in Total Drama World Tour?" Sanna asked, raising an eyebrow.
"They hooked up in World Tour?" Tyge asked, slightly alarmed. "Sorry, I never saw that season. I'd only seen Total Drama Island and about half of Total Drama Action, and then Norway had that digital switch off thing in 2009, so I never got a chance to see it."
"Wait a minute, you haven't watched TV since 2009?" Sanna asked, slightly bemused.
"Nope," Tyge replied sadly. "Though I do go to my friend's house once a year to watch the Eurovision. I never watched much TV anyway. I've too much work to do on the farm."
[Bus Toilet:
Sanna (Denmark): You know what I like about Tyge? He may be a B-Type, but that doesn't mean he's lazy.
I mean, there are B-Types in my school, but they're party-obsessed guys who never do their homework and assist in giving people wedgies. I like to call them 'Geoffs'
I wonder if Bridgette has broken up with Geoff yet. I mean, she can do so much better!]
"Okay, then," Marios said. "Now that we've had our practice go, it's time to do the real thing. Question 1, if your boyfriend could be any vegetable, what would it be?"
The three guys quickly wrote answers down, and the girls followed.
"Sanna and Tyge, shall we have your answers first?" Marios asked.
"I said carrot," Tyge said.
"Oh, I said tomato," Sanna sighed. "I just thought…"
"A tomato's not a vegetable, Sanna," Tyge told her.
"Oh yeah," Sanna said, and then she put her head in her hands.
"It's okay," Tyge replied. "Everyone makes mistakes."
"Agnessa and Zeferino," Marios said. "What did you two say?"
"I said lettuce," Zeferino replied.
"Aw, I said carrot," Agnessa sighed.
"Okay, hard luck, guys," Marios said. "Finally, Dani and Hadi, what did you guys say?"
Hadi held up his answer – 'Goldy Zucchini Squash'
"Huh? What's that?" Zeferino asked.
"It's a vegetable they developed in Israel," Hadi replied proudly. "It's a cross between a courgette and a squash."
"Believe it or not, I got the answer right!" Dani exclaimed.
"Wow, amazing!" Marios exclaimed. "Dani and Hadi get a point, putting them in the lead."
"Yes!" Dani and Hadi cheered, and they high-fived.
[Bus Toilet:
Amanda (Sweden): Sanna and Tyge are a decent couple, and I can understand Zeferino and Agnessa's connection but Dani and Hadi make me wanna barf!]
"Question 2," Marios announced. "What colour would describe your first kiss? Agnessa and Zeferino, you guys haven't gone first yet, so you will this time."
"Okay, I said purple," said Zeferino. "You know, it's a joyful colour."
"I said brown," said Agnessa. "That was what I could see during it."
A couple of the other contestants gasped.
[Bus Toilet:
Marios (Greece): Was that racist? I'd say not, but it still sounded a bit wrong.
Zeferino (Portugal): I'm not offended. I like my skin tone. And I know she meant it in a good way
Agnessa (Belarus): Yeah, that sounded a bit stupid now that I think about it]
"Sanna and Tyge," said Marios. "What did you say?"
"I said red," said Sanna.
"I would have said blue but I knew Sanna would say red," said Tyge.
"Well, it worked. You earned yourself one point," replied Marios. "Finally, Dani and Hadi, what did you guys say?"
"White," Hadi replied.
"Black," Dani replied.
Dani put her head in her hands and Hadi slapped himself three times.
"Well…that was an interesting round," Marios said awkwardly. "Question three. This one is worth two points. What French word would you use to describe your relationship? Hadi and Dani, what did you say?"
"I said 'l'ordinateur," Dani replied.
"I said 'amour'," Hadi answered.
"Okay, no double points for you," Marios answered. "Sanna and Tyge, what did you say?"
"I said 'nouveau," said Tyge.
"I said 'nouvelle," said Sanna. "Come on. It has to count."
"Okay. You can take one point," Marios sighed. "Agnessa and Zeferino, what did you say?"
"I said 'moi," replied Agnessa. "What, it's the only French word I know. Special thanks to Ruben."
"Yeah, I assumed that would happen," said Zeferino, and he also held up 'moi'.
"And you get the two points!" Marios exclaimed. "Now, team 1, Hadi and Dani, you have one point.
Team 2, Agnessa and Zeferino, you have two points
And team 3, Sanna and Tyge, you have one point.
Question 4, what is your girlfriend's ideal way of getting revenge on someone. This question is also worth two points."
The six lovebirds quickly wrote down their answers.
"Hadi and Dani," Marios announced. "What were your answers?"
"I said stealing their stuff," said Hadi.
"Steal their stuff and sell them on eBay," Dani answered. "I've done it a couple of times to enemies. It's a lot of fun."
"I've sold a lot of stuff on eBay in my time," Hans said from the front of the bus.
"Oh, what have you sold?" Dani asked.
"A load of junk, but I did manage to sell some beanie babies to "Weird Al" Yankovic," Hans replied. "If you've ever heard the 'eBay song', I'm that guy he'd never met in Norway."
"Oh," said an interested Dani. "I happen to have that on my iPod. Along with my favourite song of all time, the Gummy Bear Song!"
The others stared at her.
"What, it was made in Hungary," Dani replied defensively.
[Bus Toilet:
Hadi (Israel): Dani likes…the gummy bear song? Oh well, at least she has headphones with her iPod.
Zeferino (Portugal): That song was the worst three minutes of my life.]
"So, Dani and Hadi sort-of got the same answer, so we'll give them one point for that. Zeferino and Agnessa, what did you say?" Marios asked.
"I said she'd beat them up," Zeferino replied, holding up his answer.
"I said I'd shave her hair off," Agnessa answered.
"Who is 'her'?" Marios asked.
"Who do you think?" Agnessa asked with an evil grin.
"Eloise?" Zeferino guessed.
"No," Marios replied sarcastically.
"Yes, of course it's Eloise!" Agnessa exclaimed. "I do feel a bit bad about what I did, but I just hate when people get into my face like that."
"Is it okay if they kiss you?" Zeferino asked.
"Of course," Agnessa replied, smiling, and she and Zeferino started making out.
"Ugh," Marios gagged a little. "Moving on, to Sanna and Tyge."
[Bus Toilet:
Dani (Hungary): What is Marios' problem with love and affection? I mean, he's not ten anymore! Love shouldn't be gross to him
Marios (Greece): I'm sorry about how I'm acting, but love just makes me think of Nomena. I sure hope Dima Bilan was okay. His 2008 song may have sucked but his 2006 song wasn't too bad]
"I said she'd run them over," Tyge said, holding up his answer.
"Gross – no!" Sanna exclaimed. "I said send them down a hill with them covered in super glue until they land in a dumpster full of feathers."
"Okay, no points for you," Marios said sadly. "So far the scores are –
Hadi and Dani have two points
Zeferino and Agnessa have two points
And Tyge and Sanna have one point
Next…"
"Luko is back!" Hans announced, and the bus door opened. The Serbian contestant looked very glum-faced. There were a few tears coming out of his eyes.
He didn't say anything. He just sat down in his seat and sighed.
"Well," Marios announced. "Since there's a tie, we should probably have one more tiebreaking question."
"It's alright, Marios," said Sanna. "I was kind of getting sick of the game. It wasn't helping our relationships."
[Bus Toilet:
Amanda (Sweden): I can't believe people actually played that game in the first place. I've heard rumours that Marios is the audience favourite. What is wrong with you people!?]
There was some silence for a moment as everyone just stared at Luko.
"What's wrong with him?" Sanna asked Tyge.
"I dunno," Tyge replied as he fixed his beanie. "I'll go and check."
Tyge got up from his seat and sat down next to Luko.
"Hey, man," Tyge said.
"Oh, hi," Luko sighed.
"Are you okay?" Tyge asked.
"No," Luko groaned. More tears came out.
"Why? What did the doctors say?" Tyge asked.
"It's bad news," Luko sighed. "They said…th-th-they said…"
"It's okay, Luko. I won't laugh," said Tyge in a concerned tone.
"Well…you see…they said," Luko took a deep breath. "I have diabetes!"
Tyge gasped in shock
[Bus Toilet:
Tyge (Norway): I knew Luko looked upset, but I didn't think it would be that bad!]
"No way!" Tyge exclaimed. "You poor thing! I'm sure you'll be okay…"
"You don't understand!" exclaimed Luko. "I lived on caffeine! I couldn't have a meal without it! What am I supposed to do now?"
"Well, you could drink coffee," Tyge suggested. "Or Diet Coke."
"Yuck, I hate coffee!" Luko exclaimed. "And I don't think anybody likes Diet Coke."
"Well, I hope you sort yourself out," Tyge sighed. "Need a hug?"
"That'd be nice," Luko replied, and he put his arms around Tyge.
[Bus Toilet:
Sanna (Denmark): Tyge suggested we should all make confessionals for Luko. So, I heard the bad news. I honestly don't know how Luko is going to cope with diabetes, but I hope he'll get by
Katerina (Macedonia): Poor Luko. It pains me to see a fellow Balkan get a condition like that. I hope you overcome it, Luko.
Adrijana (Slovenia): I honestly haven't really cared much about anyone on this bus since Emilia left, but I do feel bad about what happened to Luko. I may have a suck-ish life but at least I can enjoy chocolate
Mirzo (Bosnia-Herzegovina): Sorry about your diabetes, Luko. I know you loved caffeine, and I hope you can overcome it
Lou (Cyprus): So, Pavils is finally gone. Yes! I know Luko was sort of his second-in-command, but I do feel bad about what happened to him. I don't know how he's gonna cope
Tia (Bulgaria): Luko getting diabetes would be like Eloise being allergic to makeup. Oh, that poor kid. I did think he was a bit of a jerk at the start of the season, but I do feel bad about what just happened.
Hadi (Israel): I live for candy. I don't know how Luko is going to survive, but I really hope you make it through. Diabetes…that's gotta hurt.
Agnessa (Belarus): I've never actually had chocolate before, but I heard it's delicious. Sorry about your diabetes, Luko. Get well soon, if there's a cure
Marios (Greece): Hey, Luko. I just wanted to tell you that you can buy sugar-free lollipops from Chupa Chups, and there's also websites that specialize in sugar-free confectionery. Just thought you should know. I hope you make it through
Berto (San Marino): I always like a bit of sugar every now and then. Sorry, Luko, I hope you'll survive.
Dani (Hungary): Sorry about your diabetes, Luko. I hope you might overcome it someday.
Zeferino (Portugal): I'm so sorry, Luko. That was unexpected. I still hope you're okay.
Tyge (Norway): I've known people who have committed suicide, but I've never been so sad over something.
Johannes (Iceland): Yeah, sorry bro. Hate to see that happen to someone.]
"That'll be 50 euros sir," the clerk said to Hans, and Hans handed her the note (or 'bill', as they say in America).
"What was that about?" Sanna asked him.
"I had to give her money for the ferry to Cyprus," Hans replied.
"A ferry?" Katerina exclaimed. "Aw no. Kelija gets seasick."
Her cat gagged for a moment and she threw up all over Tia.
"Of course," Tia sighed, and she stomped to the confessional
[Bus Toilet:
Tia (Bulgaria): Kelija seems to really hate me. I don't get it. Does she think I'm a threat to her friendship with Katerina?]
Everyone was now sitting by a railing at one end of the ferry. That was, nearly everyone. Luko was lying on the bench and looking at the sky.
"You know," he sighed. "I really should have seen this coming. My parents have been telling me to cut down on sugar for ages, but I guess it just went in one ear and out the other."
"You'll be fine, Luko," Tyge said, and he patted Luko's head.
"Of course you'd think that," Luko said angrily. "Have you ever tried to go your whole life without chocolate?"
"I only eat chocolate on special occasions," Tyge replied. "The corner shop in my village marks up the prices really high on purpose because they know there's nowhere else to buy sweets for miles, and my dad's really big on eating healthily. He rarely lets us have sugar and he tries to avoid processed foods."
"That sounds like a hard life," Luko sighed.
"I can manage," Tyge replied. "My brother and sister don't cope so well, though. I don't think they've ever enjoyed farming."
"You have a brother and sister?" Luko asked, now sitting up.
"Yeah," Tyge replied. "Their names are Allis and Marc, and they're fourteen and eleven respectively. They both hear about all these things like celebrities and models and video-games and they wonder why we don't have any of those."
"You don't have video games?" Luko asked in surprise. "That must be horrible."
"Well, one of my friends has an NES. We sometimes play Mario and Donkey Kong. I had a friend who completed Super Mario Bros 3 in two hours."
"Wow, that's incredible," Luko said. "What's his name?"
"David," Tyge replied, a slightly sad look on his face.
"You okay?" Luko asked.
"Yeah, it's just, David committed suicide last year," Tyge replied.
"Oh no, I'm so sorry!" Luko exclaimed.
"It's pretty normal in my town," Tyge explained. "There's usually one or two teenagers each year who kill themselves."
"But why?" Luko asked in shock.
"They can't cope with such a difficult lifestyle," Tyge said. "Getting up at six in the morning to feed the cows and the chickens; cutting down trees to light the fire because most of us have no central heating; the list goes on. Sure there are child labour laws saying that we can only work up to 50 hours a week if we're under 18, but that's 50 hours of physical labour. And since there's no minimum wage in Norway, they don't have to pay us a penny."
"Say, I only realized this now. Did Pavils get eliminated?" Luko asked.
"Yeah, I'm sorry," Tyge replied.
"It's fine. I never really liked him," Luko replied. "I mean, I did at first but then he started going on about you and Sanna. Well, actually, I could put up with that, but then he started acting all perverted and I realized I didn't like him."
"I never hated him, but I did think what he did to Amanda was wrong," Tyge replied. "I'm going to find Sanna."
"Oh, I think I saw her talking to Tia," Luko replied.
[Bus Toilet:
Luko (Serbia): Suddenly, I'm not that bothered about my diabetes anymore. I had no idea Tyge had such a difficult life. He seems to cope well with it, but his friends don't seem to. I mean, one of them committed suicide!
Pavils, if you're watching, Katerina and Johannes told me what you said when I passed out. Go burn in hell!]
"Hey, I think Tyge is calling me," Sanna said.
"Okay, I'll see you around," Tia replied, and then she looked at Katerina and Kelija.
The latter was staring at Tia with an angry expression on her face.
"What are you looking at?" Tia asked angrily.
"I wasn't looking at anything," Katerina replied in a confused tone.
"I was talking to Kelija," Tia replied. "I don't think she likes me."
"You must be crazy," replied Katerina. "Kelija's a great friend."
"Of course you'd think so," Tia said, rolling her eyes.
Just then, Kelija hissed at Tia and then she spat all over her.
"What did I do to you!?" Tia cried, and then she stomped off.
[Bus Toilet:
Tia (Bulgaria): Katerina probably thinks I'm going insane, but I'm telling you that her cat has problems
Katerina (Macedonia): I hope Tia is okay. She seems to have a problem with Kelija.
[Kelija has a picture of Tia, which she rips up with her claws.]]
"Okay, we're here!" Hans announced, and the bus door opened. The 19 remaining contestants stepped out.
"By the way, did the doctors say you'd have to withdraw or anything?" Tyge asked.
"No, they said that the exercise on the show would be good for preventing any illnesses," Luko replied. "And besides, you're not allowed to quit the show anyway."
"Oh," Tyge replied.
"Hello contestants!" Ruben announced. "I'd congratulate you for making it to the final 19, but that's not something a good host would do."
[Bus Toilet:
Hans (Norway, Host): He should have said – "That's not something Chris McLean would do and I desperately thrive to copy him.]
"So, let's get on with this!" Ruben announced. "This challenge is going to be called the hot war, and you'll see why in a minute.
Here are today's teams –
Amanda of Sweden
Lou of Cyprus
Johannes of Iceland
Berto of San Marino
Tyge of Norway
Zeferino of Portugal
Sanna of Denmark
Hadi of Israel
And Marios of Greece –
You guys are team 1.
The rest of you –
Aleksander of Albania
Mirzo of Bosnia-Herzegovina
Tia of Bulgaria
Katerina of FYROM…"
"Don't you 'FYROM' me!" Katerina yelled angrily. "I'm from Macedonia!"
"No you aren't, Macedonia is a Greek province," Adrijana sighed, as she filed her nails. "Ouch! I cut myself again!"
"Can we get on with the episode!?" Ruben complained.
"Now, where was I?
Adrijana of Slovenia
Luko of Serbia
Dani of Hungary
Anka of Montenegro
Agnessa of Belarus
And Stela of Romania
You ten are on team 2."
"Yes, we're together!" Sanna and Tyge cheered, while the other two couples sighed as their partners were on the other team.
"Team 1, you guys are hereby known as the Western Wallabies
Team 2, you are the Eastern Emus…"
"Wait, why am I on the Western Wallabies?" Marios protested. "I live in Greece. Have you never seen a map?"
"This is more supposed to be a political thing," Ruben answered. "You guys have all heard of the Cold War, right? Well, since we're in Cyprus, this is going to be…
the Hot War!"
"But Sweden and Yugoslavia were neutral…" Marios pointed out.
"SHUT UP!" Ruben roared. "So, let me explain today's challenge. First, you will be parachuting off a limestone cliff, and then you will be searching for buried treasure. Whoever gets the treasure first will gain victory for their team.
Let me explain a couple of rules before we get started –
1. All of the contestants must dig one hole that's five feet deep, and five feet in diameter before you can claim the victory. Until then the other team can steal the treasure chest. Your spades will be your measuring sticks.
"That sounds like a line from…" said Marios.
"No it doesn't!" Ruben said quickly. "Now, let's get this started. By the way, the first person to parachute off the cliff gets a bonus for their team. They get to dig one of their holes with a hydraulic drill. So who's first?"
"ME!" yelled Anka, and she leapt off the cliff.
"Anka, you forgot your parachute!" Ruben yelled. "If you get hurt then we might get sued!"
"That's all you care about?" Dani asked, rolling her eyes.
"What, it's kind of funny to see her fall," Ruben replied, and then he peeked over the edge of the cliff. "Oh, what do you know? She didn't get a scratch."
He turned around to see Dani trying to get at him. She was being held back by Agnessa and Hadi.
"Dani, I know I'm irresistible, but you'll have to control yourself," Ruben replied.
[Bus Toilet:
Dani (Hungary): I was trying to push you off the cliff, Ruben! God, ego much?
Ruben (Sweden, Host): You can deny all you want, Dani, but at the end of the day you've just gotta love me!]
"Okay, now that Anka's safe, who wants to go off the cliff next?" Ruben asked.
"Oh, I do!" Sanna exclaimed. "Let it rip, Tyge."
Tyge pushed Sanna along the cliff to gather speed, and then he pushed her off.
Luckily she was wearing a parachute, which went up after a few seconds.
"C'mon, Tyge!" she exclaimed. "This is awesome!"
"Okay then!" Tyge replied, and he leapt off the cliff. "YEAAAAHHHH!"
The others on both teams were soon to join him.
"ARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!" yelled Hadi.
"NOOOOOOO!" yelled Marios.
"EEEEEEIIIIIIII!" squealed Katerina (and Kelija who had also been dragged along with her)
"YEEEEAAAAHHHH!" cheered Agnessa and Dani.
"WOOOOOOOOOO!" cheered Luko.
"HELLLPPPPP!" screamed Amanda and Stela, who were both clinging onto each other. Amanda realized this and she shoved Stela off in mid-air.
Once most of the contestants had jumped off, they all slowly parachuted to the ground.
"Wow, that was awesome!" Sanna cheered, and then she kissed Tyge.
"You're the only one talking," Hadi gasped, before throwing up on the sand.
"Well, I guess we're all done," Lou said, and he took off his parachute.
"Not exactly," Luko pointed out. "Look!"
Lou looked at the sea.
"The other way," Luko replied, and Lou turned around.
Johannes and Aleksander were the only two left at the top of the cliff.
"C'mon guys!" Ruben exclaimed. "You don't get a choice for this challenge. You have to jump off the cliff or else that results in automatic disqualification for your team."
"Can I get an exemption?" Johannes asked.
"Sorry, Johannes, but no," Ruben replied. "See, I got these special amplifiers in my ears which make your voice sound squeaky, so I'm no longer affected by your talking."
"Okay, here goes," sighed Johannes, and he leapt off the cliff.
"EEEEKKKKKK!" he screamed, before he pulled a cord that let out his parachute.
"Aleksander," Ruben said to the Albanian contestant. "You need to jump or your team automatically loses, and you will most likely be voted off."
"That's fine," Aleksander replied. "They can't do without my cooking."
"You heard that guys!?" Ruben yelled at the contestants at the bottom of the cliff. "Eastern Emus, you have just lost to challenge thanks to Aleksander!"
"Oh no, you're not getting off that easily!" Anka yelled, and she threw a huge rock at the cliff.
The cliff shook for a bit, and then Aleksander lost his balance and fell off.
"AARRRRRGGGHHHH, I DON'T HAVE A PARACHUUUUTE!" he screamed.
"Somebody catch him, or else I get sued!" Ruben cried.
Aleksander continued to plummet towards the beach.
Tia sighed, and she held out her arms and caught him.
"I knew you cared," he said dreamily before Tia gave him a black eye.
"You should be grateful you're still alive," Tia replied angrily, and Aleksander squeaked and ran off.
"Okay, first the Eastern Emus get their advantage," Ruben announced. "Look out below!"
He threw the hydraulic drill down the cliff, and then it landed and smashed to bits.
"Okay, no advantage then!" Ruben sighed. "Oh well."
The nineteen contestants started to dig through the sand. It wasn't difficult because it was dry sand, but it kept slipping back into the hole.
"Wow, this is hard," Sanna sighed, before accidentally rolling herself into the hole.
"Here, I got you," Tyge said quickly, and he helped her back onto her chair.
"Yawn, I'm tired already," Luko groaned.
"You're fine," Tyge replied. "You're still getting used to having no caffeine."
"I don't know if I'm managing well," Luko sighed as the sand continued to slip back into his hole.
"Just don't think about it," replied Tyge. "I have to keep doing my hole now."
When Tyge got back and continued to dig, Marios wiped some sweat off his own forehead and asked – "Why were you helping the enemy?"
"Leave him alone," Tyge said, glaring at him. "He's going through a tough time."
"I guess," replied Marios, as he continued to dig. He was doing it surprisingly quickly.
[Bus Toilet:
Marios (Greece): I'm sorry but I just really have to win this challenge. If we lose, Amanda will probably try to get me voted off
Amanda (Sweden): You know it, Marios!]
Okay, so that's this episode so far.
Here is a cheat sheet of the teams, though they are simply split on whether their countries were democracies or dictatorships during the Cold War.
The Western Wallabies
Amanda, Berto, Hadi, Johannes, Lou, Marios, Sanna, Tyge and Zeferino
The Eastern Emus
Adrijana, Agnessa, Aleksander, Anka, Dani, Katerina, Luko, Mirzo, Stela and Tia,
Hope you enjoyed this episode, and please feel free to praise or criticize it in the reviews.