Title: This Can't Be Normal…

Summary: Flavio had just wanted to ask Lynus how scared he should be about Chloe making friends with the Pinkettes. He was not expecting to be crash-tackled and forced to hide in a bathroom with a skittish gunner and a survivalist he didn't even know...

AN: This turned out a bit longer than anticipated. Don't take this too seriously ^^ I just felt the need to write something light-hearted and fun, so I hope you enjoy reading~

Flavio ascended the stone stairs to the second floor of the inn. He knew that Lynus' room was located a few doors down from the stairs, and he wanted to ask the medic a few quick questions about…a certain group of pink-haired girls.

As a survivalist, he felt it was important to get a handle on what he should expect to deal with. It probably won't help with the humiliation factor, but he should at least have some kind of idea what to expect, right? And maybe he could get some tips on how to avoid them?

The sound of pounding feet, akin to someone running or in a desperate hurry, pulled Flavio from his musings and caused him to lift his head up to look in front of him. A blur of someone wearing a forest green coat skidded around the corner, somehow managing to stay upright despite their speed and sudden change of direction, and immediately returned to a sprint.

They made eye contact and Flavio vaguely recognised him as the Guardians' gunner, Macerio, before Macerio suddenly skidded to a stop next to him and…

Flavio felt the wind knocked out of him when Macerio literally crash-tackled him around the waist. His back hit something behind him, a partially open door probably, with a loud thud and he landed on the floor with an equally loud crash. He uttered a loud 'oof!' when something landed on top of him.

The weight atop of him abruptly vanished and Flavio drew in a sharp breath of air as the sound of a door slamming shut rung through his ears. He stared up at the ceiling for a moment as he lay sprawled on the floor with his arms outstretched on either side of him.

Ok, first; ow! Second; what the hell?!

Flavio sat up and clutched his stomach as he stared in utter bewilderment at the brown haired gunner who was frantically engaging the lock on the door. "W-what are you-?" he wheezed.

"Shhh!" Macerio hissed at him as he pressed his back against the door and tilted to the side as if to hear whatever could be on the other side. "She's coming."

Flavio was about to ask who would be so feared that Macerio would crash-tackle him through a partially open door and into god know who's room when he heard a soft tinkling of...bells? Wait, he had heard that sound somewhere before. What was it…?

"Macerio~"

Ah, that was right. Binah. She had chased Macerio through the inn when he had first encountered the gunner. Who of which dove into his room to find shelter. Did he have the habit of ducking through any partially open door he came across in his desperate attempt to avoid the pink-haired troubadour? Ok, sure, Flavio could kinda understand his fear, especially now that Chloe seemed to have made friends with Binah, but wasn't crashing into someone else's room rude? Not to mention dangerous?

…Maybe that was a risk he was willing to take?

Good god, what kind of trouble was Chloe going to be dragging their guild through now?

"Macerio~ Come out, come out, wherever you are~"

That sounded more haunting and scary than he thought possible, especially coming from a young girl.

Despite being incredulous of how dangerous the situation truly was, Flavio unexpectedly found himself holding his breath in fright as well when that scarily cheery voice and tinkling of bells suddenly stopped just outside the door.

"Hmmmmmmmm," came an ominously drawn out hum before followed by a loud, disgruntled huff. "He's not here. Ugh, so rude! Whatever, he's gotta come out of hiding eventually!"

Macerio winced and covered his head with his hands as he cowered, and Flavio couldn't help but grimace in sympathy for the gunner.

"Chloe? Your guildmate is around here somewhere, right?"

Flavio felt his eyes widen as he subconsciously tensed. Chloe? She was out there, too?

"Yup, Flavio should be close by."

Gah, she was out there, too! Wait, him? She was going after him?!

"He'll be our next victim, then~" came a girly giggle.

Victim?! She wasn't even attempting to hide her evil plans for him!

Flavio was torn between feeling utterly bewildered and utterly terrified as he sat numbly on the floor, listening to the sound of footsteps and tinkling bells as they faded from hearing range. Finally, he couldn't hear a thing. Only silence.

Macerio breathed out a huge sigh of relief and slump against the door. "That was too close…" he muttered under his breath.

Now that the, ah, threat was gone, Flavio's ribs and stomach started to ache, and he rubbed them subconsciously as he turned a pointed gaze at the gunner. "Look, I know she's scary, but was this really necessary?"

Macerio immediately sat up straight and bristled as he pointed a finger in his direction. "You should be thanking me! They were after you, too!"

Yeah, well, his back and ribs weren't feeling too thankful at the moment.

"Thanking you?!" Flavio shrilled and bristled at the same time. "You literally crash-tackled me into someone else's room and probably fractured a rib or two in the process!" He then paused when he realised that, yes, they were indeed in someone else's room.

Oh crap…

"W-whose room are we in anyway?" he asked as he subconsciously hunched his shoulders, almost afraid to look around in case he found someone standing just behind him looking utterly pissed.

"Ours," a familiar voice unexpectedly answered.

Macerio immediately perked up at the sound of the voice and his gaze turned to look over Flavio's shoulder. "Lynus?" he questioned before he sagged against the door in utter relief. "Axel, oh thank god."

Flavio quickly turned to look over his shoulder as well to find his gaze locking on with that of a familiar violet-eyed medic. He had to admit that he also felt a surge of relief upon seeing Lynus smile at him with friendly amusement.

He wasn't alone, though. Axel was there, too. Though there were two beds in the room, they were both occupying the one. Axel was sprawled out on his back atop of the bedsheets with a couple of pillows propped up behind his head. And Lynus sat on the edge of the bed, close to the bedhead and were Axel was lying. He was curled slightly towards him and it wouldn't be hard to imagine that Lynus had been previously running his fingers through Axel's hair.

Flavio couldn't help but notice just how…comfortable yet intimate they looked together.

Lynus suddenly tilted his head to the side, regarding Flavio with a sense of curiosity. "You all right there, Flavio?"

"A-ah, yeah," Flavio replied stiffly before he gave the medic an embarrassed smile and shifted to face him fully, but still sat on the floor nonetheless. "Wasn't expecting to be tackled like that, but other than that, I'm fine."

"That certainly was an interesting entrance," Axel commented as he peered at them through one eye, a half smirk of pure amusement on his lips.

Macerio managed to flush and bristle at the same time. "Yeah, w-well, desperate times call for desperate measures."

Both Lynus and Axel laughed softly, but good-heartedly nonetheless and Flavio couldn't help but marvel at how easy-going the two were. If a guildmate tackled someone into his room before slamming the door shut in a panic, he would be asking a million questions and demanding swift answers. Something like that didn't happen every day!

No, wait, maybe it did for the Guardians?

"You're welcome to hide out here," Lynus said with a knowing smile before he shook his head slightly. "But please keep your voices down. Axel has a headache."

Macerio quickly stood to his feet and pushed away from the door to walk into the centre of the room. "What happened?" he asked with genuine but subtle concern as he looked over at Axel on the bed.

Lynus smiled reassuringly as his hand sought out to play with the red strands of Axel's hair. "Zeryn and Simmons had a bet to see who could ride a raptor the furthest."

Flavio honestly found himself deadpanning at the explanation. Really?

Axel grunted in pure disgruntlement and a scowl appeared on his face. "I will murder those two one day, I swear it."

"Yes, yes," Lynus chuckled softly as he turned his full attention toward the red-haired landsknecht and began to soothingly run his fingers through his hair. "You can murder them after you've gotten some sleep and rid yourself of this headache."

Flavio felt as though he was intruding (which, technically, he was), but he was also somewhat fascinated by the gentle but strong bond that Lynus and Axel shared. There was no nervous jittering, no awkward or shy smiles or conversations. They were so comfortable, relaxed with one another, uncaring of who or what was in the room with them.

…Could he reach that level of comfort with Fafnir…?

Flavio shook his head violently to rid himself of that train of thought and cleared his throat in a desperate attempt to prevent those feelings of frustration and disappointment from rising in his chest.

"Quick question; how screwed am I really now that Chloe has made fast friends with the Pinkettes?" Flavio asked bluntly as he looked at the two on the bed.

Lynus blinked at him before he shared a glance with Axel and then the two of them simultaneously looked at him with nothing but pity in their gazes. "...You'll be in our prayers," Lynus said.

Flavio's shoulders drooped in defeat. "I was afraid of that."

A strange sound, like that of a grunt of exertion, suddenly rung through the room. They all fell silent as they glanced around, sharing confused glances. Axel suddenly sat up and abruptly pulled Lynus toward him, manoeuvring him over his lap to the other side of the bed, where he pressed him against the wall. He then slid off the bed, purposely positioning himself between Lynus and the open window.

Flavio felt a bubble of alarm in his chest, brought on by Axel's reaction. He was about to take to his feet as well when someone hastily, and rather swiftly, scrambled in through the window from outside and practically threw themselves into the room.

Wait, weren't they on the second floor?

"Ryker?" Axel questioned before he sighed and slumped back down onto the bed, immediately relaxing his defensive stance, and clutched at his forehead in an agitated manner. "The fuck, man?"

The man with blue hair and dressed in the garbs that were similar to that of a survivalist, scrambled across the table that was situated under the window and skittishly backed away. "Only window that was open," he said as he clutched at his left elbow as if it was painful in some way.

Lynus sighed as he noticeable relaxed and scooted away from the wall. Instead of sitting on the edge of the bed like he had done before, he positioned himself onto his knees and leaned against Axel's back, his arms slipping around Axel's neck comfortably and rested his cheek on his shoulder. A small smile found its way onto Axel's lips and he lazily tilted his head to the side to nuzzle his cheek against Lynus' hair.

…They were really comfortable around each other, weren't they?

"Are you hiding from Darrell again?" Lynus asked idly to the survivalist.

The survivalist (Ryker was it?) winced and tightened his grip on his elbow. "Yeah, well, you know what he's like with me. Too damn protective for his own good. For heaven's sake, it's a grazed elbow. Ok, so I entered the labyrinth alone, but it was to the first floor! Christ, can't I even do that?"

"Dude, no good hiding here," Macerio suddenly said, cutting the man off mid rant. "Binah's circling outside like a FOE."

"Oh course, perfect, just what I needed. Shouldn't have gotten out of bed today," Ryker mumbled. "Speaking of bed, if Darrell gets his hands on me, he's likely to tie me to the bed again."

"So didn't need to hear that…"

Flavio was stunned into silence once more. D-did this kind of thing happen often around here? Or…just around the Guardians themselves?

"Ryker!" a voice suddenly bellowed from outside the window. "I know you're in there somewhere!"

Ryker jumped a foot in the air before he lurched forward to hide away from the window and darted behind Flavio. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit!" he muttered aloud under his breath.

"Macerio! I will find you, I swear to god I will!"

Macerio also jumped a good foot in the air before he, too, started to panic. "Why won't she leave me alone?" he whimpered.

"The bathroom," Lynus unexpectedly said around a chuckle.

"Right!"

The next thing Flavio knew he was in the bathroom, crouched on the floor with his back against the door of the room with a survivalist he didn't know on the right of him and a gunner who was all but trembling in fear to the left of him.

Definitely not how he imagined his day would turn out when he got out of bed this morning.

Why was he even here?

The blue-haired survivalist next to him suddenly stuck out his hand to him, as if he wanted to introduce himself with a handshake or something. "Ryker," he said simply.

Choosing to simply go with the flow despite the absurdity of the entire situation, Flavio shook his hand and introduced himself in turn. "Flavio."

Ryker gave his hand a firm shake before releasing it to cradle his elbow again. "What you in for?"

Unexpectedly, Flavio felt a wry smile slip across his lips at the question. "Teammate teamed up with the Pinkettes and seems to be on a matchmaking frenzy."

"Dude." The way Ryker said that, it was filled with nothing but sympathy and empathy.

Despite just how ludicrous everything was, Flavio felt a chuckle of genuine amusement bubble up from his chest. "Yeah."

"I'd rather deal with Darrell than those girls."

"They've already got Hrothgar."

"No one is safe, huh?"

A sharp knock on the door of Lynus and Axel's room caused the three of them to plunge into a sudden silence. Flavio felt both Macerio and Ryker tense on either side of him, and he found himself briefly wondering just what he had done in life to result in him hiding in a bathroom of someone else's room. Who did he manage to piss off to get to this point?

"Hello, Darrell," Lynus was heard greeting after he opened the door.

"Where is he?" a gruff voice asked.

"Who?"

"You know who."

Ryker grabbed the brim of his hat and pulled it down over his face. "That's Darrell's voice," he muttered.

"I thought you said you're rather deal with Darrell?" Flavio couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Not when I don't have to," Ryker retorted sharply in response. "He's a decent guy normally, if know-it-all asshole, but he's dangerous when he's in doctor-healer mode."

He must be if Ryker was desperate enough to climb in through someone's second story bedroom window and hide in their bathroom.

"Tell that idiot that hiding is only delaying the inevitable," the voice that must belong to Darrell said sternly. "I will not hesitate to tie him to the bed again."

"I'll be sure to tell him that," Lynus said in a pacifying manner before there was the sound of the door to his room falling shut and the lock engaged.

Well, one down, right?

"How long are we expected to hide here?" Flavio asked as he looked over at the gunner to his side.

"For as long as it takes," Macerio replied bitterly, but with a strong sense of stubbornness all the same.

Oh, joy…He better find a way out (without it resulting in pure humiliation) before Fafnir came looking for him. That would lead to a different type of embarrassment.

There was another sudden knock at the bedroom door, softer this time, but they all fell into a tense silence nonetheless.

"Are they all hiding in here?" a somewhat familiar voice asked, causing Macerio to perk up and utter a sound of relief. "Binah's helping Hanna in the kitchen, Darrell has been called back to the hospital, and the one named Chloe has wandered back to the restaurant with her guild."

Macerio abruptly jumped to his feet and threw open the door of the bathroom. And Flavio and Ryker followed, Flavio sheepishly, while Ryker still appeared skittish. Macerio immediately flung his arms around Lirit's neck, the orange haired troubadour only partly surprised, but patted his back in a sympathetic manner as Macerio mumbled into his shoulder.

"Best make your escapes while you can," Axel said idly as he flopped himself back down onto his bed.

That sounded like a good idea.

Though, he…was reluctant to tell Fafnir and the others what had transpired here. He certainly wasn't going to tell Chloe.

Instead of approaching the door like the rest of them, Ryker chose the window. "Good luck, boys," he said as he gave them a quick salute before he clambered through window and disappeared from view.

…What's the deal with explorers and windows around here?

As Lirit guided a still skittish Macerio out of the room with an arm around his waist, Lynus turned his attention to Flavio and gave him a soft, but somewhat amused smile.

"Like for me to escort you back to your room?" he unexpectedly asked.

For a moment, Flavio felt indignant. It was bad enough that he had been crash-tackled into Lynus' room without warning and then forced to hide in his bathroom, but asking the kind medic to actually be his bodyguard to protect him from a small group of pink-haired girls was beyond humiliating. He was a trained survivalist, for heaven's sake. An explorer and a member of the Midgard Library. He could handle himself. No need to drag Lynus into it.

However...

"J-just for insurance, yeah?"