Authors note: Well, amazingly enough, this is the second to last chapter, and I have already finished the rest of the story, though, i need reviews before I upload it =D, so please please please review! and thank you everyone who has read this far, and thank you to my reviewers for the last chapter BroccolliJuice, misress akasha, Sir Greatness, and BRE-Z-INUZUKA, your reviews were much appreciated!!

MY DEAR PAL

Chapter Twenty

(Tests)

HINATA:

"I told you a few days ago already, Satsu is fine, she is staying with Hana," Kurenai leaned back, sighing some what in frustration, "Now please try to eat a bit more Hinata,"

I didn't say anything; I only stared blankly at my barely touched ramen she had prepared for me. I didn't feel like any food; that would just open me up for thousands of other things to pour in.

"Hinata…?" her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me more attentively. The only movement I made in response was jabbing at the food with my chop sticks.

"If Kiba…" but before I had really begun my sentence I jumped as Kurenai harshly thumped the table. I swallowed my own saliva and looked upwards. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath, calming herself. Even baby Asuma had fallen silent from her giggling and churning in shock.

"We do not need to talk about that… we don't have to," she took another slurp at her noodles before continuing, "We are shinobi, and shinobi are strong."

I shifted my eyes from her, not able to properly focus on her staunch face. Yeah right, I heard her crying loudly each night, weeping for the loss of her student only in the next room. She just couldn't bear to admit it in open, because grief was merely a private thing, even for civilians.

After another unbearably long moment of silence, of Kurenai and Asuma eating and me prodding my food, I felt my stomach twisting. Abruptly I stood, tipping my bowl over, spilling liquid across the oak table. I stumbled outside, and just as I reached the edge of the decking, the little food I had in me spilled out. I watched as it slapped against the newly mowed lawn, until there was nothing left but the feeling of my abdomen trying to wrench something up that didn't exist.

Finally when I calmed, I felt her hand on my shoulder.

"I think we need a bit of an early night, don't you?"

HANA:

"Kiba!" the night was one of the driest I had ever seen, not a drop of humidity in the air… or maybe it was just my throat that was parched. I didn't have time to feel any form of guilt as I left the other three behind. Naruto had been the first one I saw, a few meters from his tent. There was blood smeared every where, and just from that I had wanted to spill my food from the day out. Just from that I wanted to turn back to the village and forget about any of this. But I couldn't do that, and I knew it, because my little brother was out here somewhere. I didn't even notice Shino as I darted past him; all I could detect was the pungent smell of slaughter, and loss. How many carcasses did I pass before I reached Hinata's limp stature lying by the river, an injured Satsu tucked under her arm? That's how I knew.

"Kiba!" this time I shrieked from the pit of my gut, not hesitating to dart up stream.

"G-go get help!" I ordered one of my dogs trailing behind me, and before I knew it she was no longer following me.

"N-no!" I collapsed to my knees, this time letting my food fall from me. There was my brother, his bloated body swaying back and forth at the edge of the river. And I screamed, because in that instant, any inch of a kinder memory of him was abolished.

I woke in a cold sweat, the moister trickling from my forehead. Satsu whimpered softly and lapped away some of the liquid. She had taken to sleeping in my bed lately. I must have screamed out loud, because my mother was in the doorway. I grasped for air, my heart feeling as though it was ricocheting against my rib cage.

"Oh… I thought you were…" but her voice snuffed out like a candle when she caught my glance.

"You thought I was who?" my tone was almost accusing.

She looked down, seeming almost unfazed and turned to leave.

"Ma," I snapped, "You thought I was who?" that was the first time she had even looked at me since I returned, and she wasn't really even looking at me.

"Who Ma?"

She only whispered the smallest response, my hearing just latching onto the sound, "Him,"

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that, 'cause apparently he doesn't have a name lately," I growled, getting to my feet.

"Jesus Christ Hana," she hissed, "What do you want from me?"

"Not much actually"

She shook her head slightly, stepping backwards and leaning against the door frame, "I've lost everything, my husband, my son, what more do you want from me god dammit!" she pushed off the wall, her voice rising, "You know, I was called on a mission today, said it might get my mind off it," she sucked on her bottom lip, "But nothing can get my mind off it, nothing"

"Ma," I took a step forward, but in sync with me she took one back, turning from me.

"All I want from you Ma, all I want is for you to look at me. How could you say you've lost everything? W-what about me?" I stammered, "Am I nothing?"

"No!" she hissed.

"Then what is it? Why can't you at least look at me? 'cause that's all I want,"

"Because…" her eyes melted into the ground.

"Because?" I prompted, but to no avail, all she did was turn her head, silent.

Before she could run, before she could back down, I slapped my hands on her shoulders, shaking her softly, "Because what? Because I couldn't bring him back? Is that it?"

"No!"

"Then what? Answer me already!"

"Because if…" that's when she shrunk into me, a whirlpool of hurt, and we both crumpled to the ground, "because if I loose you Hana, then I will have lost everything…" her voice was buried into the bottom of my neck, but I could still hear every word she spoke just the same.

"I know Ma… I know," I hushed, all the feeling in side me being hauled up also, until we poured into one another. Even Satsu joined in.

HINATA:

I woke in the morning feeling as ill, if not sicker than what I had the night before. Thank god Kurenai had put a small bucket by the bed side; otherwise her floor boards would have been soiled.

When I shakily got to my feet, I found it was much later in the morning than I had expected, and breakfast was already set on the table for me. Asuma and Kurenai must have eaten because their food wasn't set out beside mine. I assumed they had gone out somewhere, probably till the afternoon. I smiled slightly, this was my perfect opportunity. So I scribbled out a note, in my messiest possible hand writing, explaining I had gone for a walk, and hobbled out the door before anyone had time to stop me. Walking through the streets of the village felt just like before, it was as if I had been placed in an ancient memory, even though things had only changed a few weeks ago, it still felt like it happened years ago. Small village kids darted in and around my ankles, playing with a dirty old ball, and the smell of food loomed in the air from all the stalls about. One thing I thought back on was the note I had left Kurenai. Instead of addressing her as 'Kurenai Sensei' as I always had, I simply wrote 'Kurenai'. Was she still even my Sensei now? Were we even team eight anymore, without Kiba?

I had to claw my fingers into my stomach to keep from collapsing – or worse, as I entered the hospital. I must have been in the waiting room for years before my name was called out, because the time seemed to slug by like a dying gazelle being stalked by a vulture.

"Hinata Hyuuga," the receptionist stated, looking up briefly from her clip board. I nodded my head weakly and followed the nurse through into a small clinic, where she motioned for me to sit. She was the same nurse I had been seeing for my weekly check ups on my injuries. She was slightly older than most of them, but her friendly nature made me glad to have her making sure I was ok.

"How are you doing honey?" she said, sympathetically tucking one of my short, uneven strands of hair behind my ear. My only response was shrugging my shoulders slightly.

"Well should we just get started then?" the skin around her eyes creased in a friendly smile as she handed me a small glass of water, "Take a few sips of that dear,"

The liquid seemed so cold it would burn me as it trickled down my throat whilst she drifted a chakra glowing hand across my stomach. The most deafening moment of silence followed as she analyzed my bare abdomen, and I felt my heart beating faster with each second that passed.

"Well," she finally said, leaning back on her stool and folding her arms, "There is no sign of pregnancy… when do you think you conceived Hun?"

I made an unfamiliar sound as she spoke, but it was not a shriek of joy most girls my age would make at this news; no, it came from the pit of disappointment.

"The night before the attack," I choked.

She pursed her lips thoughtfully, pushing her glasses further up her crooked nose, then placed a soft hand on mine, "If it makes you feel better, even if you had fallen pregnant, the attacks would most definitely have made you miscarry. I think you need to eat more, and take care of yourself a bit better, that's probably what's making you so ill… you seem to be loosing weight rapidly, if you want I can weigh you?"

I shook my head, stumbling from the clinic. Outside I crashed against the wall of the hospital, breathing heavily. A large part of me had secretly hoped I was pregnant with Kiba's child, despite the amount of problems it would cause. We hadn't used any form of contraception that night in the river, stupidly I suppose, but neither of us were thinking then, we were just acting on how we felt. It was the last and the first time I could remember feeling truly happy, like nothing was ever going to go wrong, like everything was going to be perfect forever. How wrong was I? And even now, something could have gone right; I could have had a piece of him left.

"Hinata?"

My head shot up suddenly, and it took a moment for me to recognise Shino, my remaining team mate. He seemed different somehow, and not only due to the fact that he was wearing unfamiliar clothing. He was just somehow, strange.

He leaned against the wall beside me in a huff. Almost all of his injuries seemed to have healed, unlike mine.

"You're awake," he muttered through a tiny smile.

"Mm," I nodded.

"How are you? I was worried,"

"I… I guess I'm doing alright," there was a long pause before I added, "You?"

"Oh… you know…" he kicked the dusty ground nervously a few times, "You know it's his funeral tomorrow right?"

"Yeah."

"You going?"

I looked away, taking a large breath, "I don't know Shino,"

"Oh," he looked almost as disappointed as I was at the news the nurse had given me moments ago.

"Well… we are still team eight Hinata… aren't we?"

"Where did that come from?" I looked up suddenly.

"I just… I just have to know,"

Now I got it, Shino felt just as much pain as I did. He had lost a dear friend, just as I had. And like me, he had lost his squad, he was wondering, hoping what was left was still a team, some sort of unity. I placed a hand on his and squeezed slightly, "Forever, no matter what," I whispered.

A large grin spread across his face, unlike anything I had ever seen him do, "How bout I walk you home,"

NEJI:

I slammed the door to the Hyuugan mansion, somewhat agitated for no one reason in particular. I took a deep breath, trying to take in all the air I could. I needed a walk, a long walk. Maybe I would go into the forest, where everything was quiet, but the soft hum of chirping birds and the fresh smell of fallen leaves and moist soil. I jumped as a passed the gate of the house upon seeing a meek looking Naruto loitering by it.

I composed myself, "Naruto, what is it that you want?"

"Uh," he looked down, almost too shy to look me in the eye, which I knew was not like him at all, "Is… Is Hinata here?"

"No," I said promptly, "She is staying with Kurenai, she does not live here," Hinata had refused to come home, despite Hanabi and me pleading continually. She had said she did not want to disgrace her father with the grief, which, I hated to admit, she was probably right. I had tried to convince Hiashi to see her, but of course, he was far too proud.

"Oh," he muttered.

"Is there a message I can pass on for you?"

"No… It's ok, just tell her… I'm sorry,"

I could barely hear him; it was almost as if his words were melting into the ground beneath us as he turned to leave. For a moment I watched him walking, his feet skidding across the pavement as he moved, until finally I couldn't help but call him back, "Naruto, would you like to walk with me?"

He looked up suddenly, his eyes lightening, "Sure Neji," he trotted after my already moving body.

"Are you alright?" what was happening to me? Since when had I been such a do-gooder?

"I guess," He sighed deeply, trying to get rid of the heavy weight on his chest, "I just feel guilty I guess,"

"Why on earth would you feel guilty?"

He paused, his eyes sunken, "Because the last time I ever saw Kiba was when we were fighting," He laughed slightly, "I spose he died hating me,"

"Naruto!" I was shocked; I had never seen him like this. If there was anything he had ever taught me, and there was a lot, was to never put yourself down, and never give up. But looking at him now, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He hadn't seemed this upset even after Sasuke left. So, even though it wasn't like me, even though I didn't necessarily believe in any form of life after death, I placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "Naruto, just come to his funeral with me tomorrow. Hate is a strong word, I'm sure Kiba still considers you his friend."

FINISH

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