Road to Love
Chapter 19 – Not now, not ever
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls. It's that simple.
AN: Hey there! So here's another chapter. I'm trying my hardest to post as much as possible before school starts back, and my life once again becomes hectic, with school work, friends, tests, projects, and all that good stuff. But I promise I'm going to try my very hardest to update at least one a week once school starts back, much like now, so really, it won't be too much of a change will it? At the end of this chapter there will be personal responses to your reviews. Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter, and now enough talk, on with the show… uh, story! Byez!
Previously, on Road to Love…
Walking straight up to the front desk, he took a deep breath, approaching the first nurse that was available.
"Hi… Uh, what room is Lorelai Gilmore in?" Luke asked timidly.
"Are you family or a friend?" The man asked him roughly, looking him over, obviously not pleased with his choice of attire.
"Um… both," he answered, unsure.
"Just one answer will suffice sir." The man snapped back.
"Family, I'm her fiancé." Luke replied, the confidence in his voice evident.
Nodding the man led him to her room.
Luke braced himself, breathing deeply before he entered. Not sure exactly what to expect as he reached his hand out to open the door.
This time on Road to Love…
His hand dropped from the knob at the last second, it was as though upon coming in contact with the cold knob he'd received a shock. He couldn't do it. Whatever was on the other side of that door, for now was going to remain on the other side of the door. He just couldn't bear to walk in there and see her, not now at least.
He blinked repeatedly, trying his hardest to keep the tears forming in the back of his eyes at bay.
That monstrous feeling of fear in his stomach was still present, rearing an even bigger head than before at the thought that Lorelai could possibly die without him ever apologizing.
He turned away from the door suddenly, taking off his hat and running a shaking hand through his hair, scratching his head as if he'd been asked a very confusing question that he was now pondering on.
He paced outside the door for a few minutes, his hand still running through his hair, but now it seemed as if he was contemplating pulling it out. He watched people walk past him, casting him curious and critical glances as he wore out the floor, but he simply ignored them, more concerned of what he was going to do right now.
Luke stayed in this pattern for a good ten minutes before he was approached by a nurse asking him what he was doing in the hallway.
"Oh uh… um…" He stuttered, scrounging around for a somewhat buyable excuse. But he was saved the trouble when the door in front of him was opened him was opened, revealing an obviously recently awoken Logan, who quickly took in the scene playing out in front of him.
It took Logan a few minutes forhis brain to come-to completely, but when it finally did the appearance of the man standing in front of him clicked with the description Rory had given him of her the father-figure in her life.
Immediately he realized that the man in front of him was none other than Luke. The man whose coffee they worshipped day after day, the man who stole her mothers' heart, and the man who took the place of her missing father as she was growing up.
"Luke… What're you doing here?" Logan asked, clasping hands with Luke for a second, acting as though he'd known Luke all his life. When really this was the first time they'd ever met.
Luke on the other hand just vaguely remembered seeing the blonde in front of him and Emily and Richards vow renewal, or as he referred to it now, the night from hell.
"Uh… I came to see…" He stuttered out, pointing to the now closed door behind Logan.
"Right well, I should've guessed. I was just going to get some coffee if you're interested." Logan offered seeing the nurses' obvious disapproval of Luke's inability to answer her question himself.
"Sure… Actually I was just leaving." He said, putting his hat back on, ready to leave, ignoring the looks the nurse was shooting him.
"Whatever." The nurse said, walking away, annoyed.
Grinning and shaking his head at the nurses retreating form Logan looked back at Luke, introducing himself properly for the first time.
"I'm Logan Huntzberger. And your Luke, right?" He said, clasping hands with Luke in a manly manor once again.
"Yeah… Uh how do you know that?" Luke asked, perplexed.
"Rory," he replied simply, gesturing back into the hospital room.
"Oh, she's here. Well obviously. How's she doing? Is she okay?" Luke asked, kicking into father mode.
"She's doing… Actually I don't know. She says she's fine, but I know she's not you know. I mean how could she be? Her mom's in a coma, and she's fine… I just don't believe. And she won't let me in. She has this front up all of a sudden. I don't understand… But, other than that and Lorelai being in a coma everything is just spiffy." He revealed, his tone turning sarcastic at the end.
"Well that's Rory for you… Don't worry kid, she'll come around. So you and Rory… are you…?"
Logan gulped slightly; the size of the man in front of him was being clearer and clearer. But as he thought about her, a sudden courage came over him. "Uh… yeah…" He waited, wincing slightly, waiting for the punches to come, but they never did.
"You better treat her good; otherwise you'll have more than a broken heart to worry about." Luke warned the tone in his voice final and intimidating.
Logan simply nodded his head in agreement, not really knowing what to say to that sentence and because his jaw seemed to have wired itself shut for the time being. Being scared right now was what you would call an understatement, what one might call what he was feeling right now would, petrified.
"Anyways, I'm just going to go now, I shouldn't have come, but Emily – Lorelai's mother, came to see me and told me to come, but it wasn't my place to come. Tell Rory I said hi, and tell her not to lose hope." Luke relayed to him, ready to leave before the hospital before anyone else saw him and he was forced to see Lorelai.
Logan just nodded, gulping rather awkwardly and loudly, hoping that wires would release their hold on his jaw, which they suddenly seemed to at his request. "Yeah I will. But you should probably tell her yourself. It'd sound a lot better coming from you than me. And as for it not being your place to see Lorelai, I highly doubt that. You should go in and see her, but it's all up to you. Anyways I'll see you around." Logan told him, giving him a slight wave goodbye as he set off down the corridor to the cafeteria to get himself a cup of coffee before he bought a few more for Rory, so that way they'd still be warm.
He stood still for a minute; his legs felt as though they'd been turned to stone, either that or his feet had simply been crazy glued to the floor.
He watched Logan's retreating back, the wooden door in front of him and then the exit sign. It was a pattern now, his eyes darted back and forth, his mind and thoughts racing behind them, his decision not anywhere near being made.
It was a good ten minutes later when a group of doctors and nurses came rushing past him, flustered, all of them all but flat-out running into a room a little further down on the right, where a nurse seemed to have called for them to come. Only then did Luke come out of his reverie, leaping out of the way, practically clinging onto the wall for fear of being mauled by a herd of health-care professionals.
It was then it finally clicked. He knew what he had to do.
He approached Lorelai's hospital door for the second time that day, reaching his hand out for the knob which he turned as slowly as he could, bracing himself for whatever was behind this door.
When those doctors had come running past him, he couldn't help but think, that that could've been Lorelai. It could've been her, and he would've never had a chance to apologize, or at least try to make things right. He could've lost her forever, and he knew that he'd never be able to forgive himself if that happened.
He opened the door, pushing it back so he could enter the room, trying to make as little noise as possible as he noticed a sleeping Rory curled up on the worn couch, a disgruntled expression upon her face.
Then his eyes fell upon Lorelai. Her face bruised and banged her arm and leg in a cast. He could fell his heart beating faster, louder, and thumping away so hard in his chest that it hurt. He felt sick. He couldn't see clearly anymore, his vision was so blurred by the tears stinging his eyes as he unrewardingly tried to blink them away, willing himself not to cry, not here at least to no avail as the tears came anyway.
He reached a shaky hand out, tracing her bruises in the air, not quite able to touch her face, feeling that if he did, it would be too much to real for him to take.
"I'm sorry." He choked out finally, his fingertips inches from her face, as he ran them along the rather blue bruise on her face then over the bump on her head. "I'm so sorry. It was my fault. None of this would've happened if I hadn't been so stupid. I'm sorry." He cried the feeling of being broken overwhelming him as he sobbed over her, stilling air-tracing her face, too afraid to touch her.
Being here, seeing her, it was just too much for him to take, the feelings seeing her lying in a hospital bed brought, absolutely helpless, was so much worse than he'd ever felt. Never before had he ever imagined he'd feel this horrible, this stupid, this broken and alone in the world, like there was a black emptiness in him, that needed nothing more than to feel her touch for the rest of his life, to smell her, to be with her. And it was then and there that he promised himself that if, and when she woke up he was going to try to make things better, and propose, he couldn't lose her, he wouldn't, not now, not ever.
AN: Alright, another chapter! I'm so sorry for the wait between my last update and this one, it's just that school just started back last Tuesday (the 6th) and it's been pretty crazy! So far the week has been satisfactory. I was pretty upset when I found out some disturbing information. Like honestly, what's wrong with me? Gosh! But enough about my wretchedly sad life, I hope you liked this update, and please forgive me if the next chapter isn't up in the next week or so. Please review, I appreciate it so very much, so please, review. The reply's to your reviews are below, please let me know what you thought of this chapter, and let me know if there's any way I can improve in my writing, or anything at all.
Review Responses:
Tristian'jess'loganluver – Your review was most definitely confusing to read, but it made sense surprisingly. And thanks for thanking me for thanking you for thanking me (if that makes sense to you, amazing, just amazing). I'm glad you liked Emily going to Luke to tell him about Lorelai and stuff, I really wanted to add something like that in, originally I was going to let Logan tell Luke about Lorelai, but this seemed to fit better. Hopefully I wrote this chapter like a writer! Hope you liked it! Thanks so much! Byez!
Eternalgorithm – I agree with you on hating Emily's character on the show, I really wanted to show a different side to her in the last few chapters, hopefully I've done that, properly. I think you'll be happy that Luke is actually going to propose if Lorelai wakes up, and just so you, and anyone else reading knows, I'm currently toying with the idea of her not waking up. But again, that is not definite as of yet, so don't cry your eyes out yet. Thanks for the review, it's appreciated beyond belief! Byez!
Gilmorefan31 – I'm glad you thought this was a great chapter, here's your update, and please continuing reviewing, thanks so much! Byez!
Princetongirl – Here's your update, I'm so glad you not only liked it, but loved it! I appreciate it so much, that's for reviewing, seriously! Byez!
Gilmoregirl7878 – Happy belated birthday! I'm glad I could give you some kind of gift, and I guess it was in the form of an update! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Keep reviewing, I appreciate the support, thanks so much, byez!
Smartiepantz – I'm happy Emily 'rocks your socks!' Lol, I laughed when I read that line! I was sad when you didn't review for the previous chapter, but then when you reviewed I was like, 'YEAH!' I'm so happy that you liked everything so far, especially the Emily I'm portraying in the last few chapters, and I just wanted to show a different side to her. It's totally okay that your review is 'late,' but really, to me, it's not, because the fact is that you reviewed! Thanks so very much! Byez!
And now for my famous rambling and opinion on movies I've seen lately…
So basically I'm back at school, and a lot of stuff is messed up already and oh yes, did I mention I was only at school for four days… well three whole days. It's not extremely messed up, but there's already people I absolutely hate, and all the stuff that makes school dramatic, other than the frequent outburst provided by both teachers and students. Other than that everything is pretty good at school. My teachers are alright; my friends are great – so happy to have them around everyday again!
And now onto my movie opinions: I saw Red Eye, and I really have to say it was amazing. I went into the theatre not really having any expectations of the movie, but I came out incredibly surprised. It really was worth the money, at least my friend and I thought so. Finally I saw Sin City, finally, and it was amazing! I loved it! I would totally recommend it, along with Red Eye. Oh yeah, Gilmore Girls, season six premiere's this Tuesday I cannot wait! Okay, I talked enough! (Please note that the opinion's written here are my own, it's just what I thought that's all.) Review, please, thanks if you do and if you don't thanks for reading at least! Byez!