A/N All the Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

Hmm...not much to say...thank you to my beta, ShelbySue, as always, she rules. Anyways...here ya go, chapter 20...leave me lots of nice reviews and I'll post 21 in the morning...yes I am resorting to bribery..lol. thank you guys for reading, and sticking with the story even if Bella likes Embry more than she likes Jake. I heart you guys for that.

Bella

I stared out the window as Jacksonville fell away. The plane passed through a cloud, fluffy and white. I was going home. Happily, I sighed. I still needed to deal with the Embry situation. And Jake. Obviously I was attracted to Embry. The kiss said it all, but I didn't want to hurt Jake either.

Oh please, he's not going to be hurt, I thought.

That spark just wasn't there. He was a nice guy and I hoped we could be friends, but we sucked as a couple.

Yeah, but he's so good looking, the vain part of my subconscious interjected.

That was true. Seventeen year olds should not be that hot, it's just not fair. I sighed dreamily.

Focus, I ordered myself as visions of abs and happy trails flashed through my head.

What do I do? Go home and break up with him or give it another chance? Well, the New Years Eve party is tomorrow night. It'll be like a last ditch effort. If it, that spark or zap, whatever you wanna call it, still isn't there then I'll break up with him, I resolved.

Yeah, but what about Embry? My subconscious retorted.

Oh shut up you, I fired back. Embry, well…I don't know. It'll be fine somehow, it always was.

* * *

It was late afternoon when the plane landed in Port Angeles. Charlie, Sue, Seth and Leah were waiting when I got off the plane.

"Welcome home!" they said as I walked up.

"Hi!" I exclaimed. "Oh my god I'm so glad to be home."

As Charlie waited for my bags, Seth and Sue bombarded me with questions. "It wasn't a lot of fun," I told them as we walked to the car.

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that," Sue said sympathetically. "Did something happen?"

"Nothing in particular. I'm just not the same as I used to be. I guess Rosalie was expecting me to stay the same, but she changed a lot too." I shrugged. "It is what is though, you know?"

"People change," Leah said.

I smiled at her. "Yes. Yes they do."

I slept the entire trip home. I awoke with a start as Charlie parked the car in the driveway. "We're home," he said before getting out of the car.

I wiped the sleep from my eyes, drinking in the sight of the house, Christmas lights twinkling in the twilight. I breathed in the stillness of the air, the quietness. There were no sirens wailing off in the distance, no beeping horns or blaring hip hop music. I shivered. I even missed the cold.

"Let's go inside," Sue said slipping one arm over my shoulder, the other over Leah's. "Nice to have my family all back under one roof."

I smiled again. My cheeks were beginning to ache from all the smiling. Sue unlocked the door, Leah and I trailed into the house behind her. Warm vanilla and Christmas tree scent wrapped around me, enveloping me.

Charlie and Seth banged in through the front door, suitcases in tow.

"Did you bring me something cool?" Seth asked.

I nodded, reaching for my suitcase. "I brought you the ocean," I told him.

"The ocean?" he said skeptically.

I nodded, unzipping the front of the suitcase. I reached in and pulled out a wavy bottle. "See," I said holding it up for him to see. "The ocean."

"That's so cool," he said taking the bottle from my hand. Laughing, I rolled my eyes. It was just a bottle that had sand in the bottom and ocean water. Nothing special, just something I did real quick before leaving.

I reached into my bag and fumbled around for a minute before I found and pulled out two jewelry boxes. I handed one to Sue, the other to Leah.

"What's this?" Leah asked.

"Open it."

She lifted the lid cautiously. I think she expected to find a dead fish, or something equally as disgusting. Pulling the necklace out, she fingered the pendant carefully. "It's so pretty. What is it?"

"Beach glass," I said. "There's this woman who lives on the beach, and each morning she takes her Lab and walks down the beach collecting buckets full of it. Then she cleans it up, makes it pretty and sells it. I figured you guys would like it better than a cheesy puka shell necklace.

"Thanks Bella. I love the color," Leah said.

"I thought it would look good with your skin color. I'm glad you like it."

"I do. Thank you."

Sue opened hers, gasping when she saw it. Hers was prettier because I liked her better.

"Bella, this is gorgeous."

Hers was emerald green with eight freshwater pearls in various shades of green. An emerald green piece of glass was attached to the end of the necklace.

"Thank you," she said, hugging me.

"You're welcome."

I reached into my bag and pulled out a small paper bag. "I didn't know what to get you," I admitted, handing the bag to Charlie.

"It's okay, sweetheart, you didn't have to get me anything." He reached into the bag and pulled out the keychain, chuckling.

"What's it say Daddy?" Leah asked reaching for the rectangular piece of plastic.

"My daughter went to Jacksonville and all I got was this crummy key chain."

Leah giggled. "That's funny. Good one, Bella."

"There's one more in there," I told him.

He laughed heartily when he pulled it out and read it. "Proud to be a 100%, ticket writing, donut eating, heard every excuse police officer. I like that."

"I'm gonna go unpack." I grabbed my suitcases, dragging them up the stairs behind me as I went. The noises of the house were comforting, even my room in the attic was a welcome relief after being gone for a week.

In the center of my bed was a square item covered in Santa Claus paper. I walked toward the bed, grabbing the package. It looked like a book. It felt like a book, even smelled like a book, a very old book.

I tore the paper off, turning it over, glancing at the title. Great Expectations. I ran my fingers over the embossed cover wondering who it could be from.

Opening the dusty cover the musty smell of years gone by assaulted my senses. In handwriting that was all too familiar, scrawled along the inside of the front cover was this: "That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But, it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day."

Cheapskate, stealing a passage from the very book he gave me. Gently, I closed the book, setting it back on the bed. I went to turn back to my luggage when I noticed a sliver of super white paper peeking out from where it was nestled in between the yellowed pages. I gently flipped through the worn paragraphs, the book spilling open revealing a sheet of notebook paper. I pulled it out, opening it. I sank down to the edge of the bed, all notions of unpacking quickly forgotten.

It might not have meant the same thing to you, Bella, but that kiss will forever change my life. I have loved you since the first time I saw you, flat on your back scowling at Jake. I will probably always love you – even if you never love me back. I'll always be your friend, no matter what. I'll always wait for you; no matter what.

Love,

Embry

I folded the sheet of paper, tucking it back into the pages of Great Expectations. I sighed. Why did this have to be so difficult? I wondered. I stood in the center of my room, looking around. My luggage still sat by the closet door. I tossed the discarded wrapping paper in the trash can next to my desk, then picked up Great Expectations and gently set it on the bedside table. I crossed the room and began unpacking.

* * *

New Year's Eve dawned crisp and clear. A fresh layer of snow fell the night before, covering the world with a blanket of white. I woke up to the sounds of Sue singing, quite loudly, Carly Simon.

I rolled over, pulling the pillow over my head. She got louder.

Throwing the covers off, I got out of bed, grumbling. I passed Leah on my way down the stairs. "Carly Simon," she muttered, "At eight thirty in the morning. So not cool."

"It could be worse," I said.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Really? What could be worse than Carly Simon at the ass crack of dawn?"

"Neil Diamond at the ass crack of dawn."

"Oh my god, yes, that would be worse."

"You're telling me. My mom woke me up one morning howling, and I mean howling, Sweet Caroline at the top of her lungs."

"Wow. Sweet Caroline, your mom has interesting taste in music."

"Tell me about it."

Leah smiled, heading down the stairs before me. I stood back, watching her go. I kind of liked this new found acceptance we had. It was a lot easier than hating her.

When I entered the kitchen, Sue was dancing, singing into a spatula. "You're so vain; I bet you think this song is about you. Good morning girls. Breakfast?"

I sat down across from Leah at the island and nodded. A plate of steaming eggs appeared in front of me, Sue circled around back to the stove, harmonizing into the spatula. I heaved a forkful of eggs, chewing thoughtfully. Sue turned to face us when the song ended.

"Agenda for the day ladies, party prep. We're in charge of making cider, fruit salad and lasagna. Dad and Seth are in charge of cider, I'm doing to the lasagna, and so that leaves you two in charge of fruit salad. Enough to feed the whole street."

I looked from Sue to Leah. Leah was nonchalantly chewing a piece of toast. "Um, I don't know how to make fruit salad."

"It's easy Bella," Leah said after she swallowed her toast. "Cut up some fruit, toss it in a bowl. That's it."

"Oh. Well okay then. Let's get started."

"That's the spirit!" Sue turned Carly Simon back up and continued to serenade us.

Leah finished her breakfast and put her dish in the dishwasher. "C'mon, the fruits down in the cellar."

"The cellar?" I gulped. I still had trouble going down there. It creeped me out, and it smelled badly.

"Oh don't be a scaredy cat. Come on."

I swallowed hard and tentatively followed Leah down to stairs. She shoved a bag of apples at me before my feet even hit the concrete floor.

"Oof, thanks."

I made three trips up and down the stairs, carrying different fruits. When all the produce had been brought up, we washed it and divided it.

We worked diligently all morning. At noon the doorbell started ringing. Neighbors would waltz into the kitchen, casserole dishes and crock pots in tow. I watched as the dining room table disappeared under a mountain of food.

"Wow this really is a big deal, huh?"

Leah nodded. "Yeah. In a few hours the house'll get crowded. People will be everywhere and by eight they'll all be tipsy. It's really kind of funny."

True to Leah's word by three the house was packed. Someone was in the living room singing a really bad rendition of an Aerosmith song.

By nine most were tipsy.

At ten thirty, Jake and Embry walked in. Embry gazed woefully at me and kept walking. I watched him go into the kitchen.

Jake's arms wrapped around me, pulling me against his chest. "Hey you," he said.

I jumped, clutching my chest. I'd been so engrossed in watching Embry as he leaned against the counter, flirting with Amanda Hall who lived at the end of the street. His eyes never left mine as he touched her arm or tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," I said, tearing my gaze from Embry.

"How was Jacksonville?"

"It sucked," I said, kissing him. Hmm, maybe there was a flicker of something.

"Really?"

I nodded and kissed him again. No, nothing. "I'm glad to be home. How was your Christmas?"

Jake shrugged. "It sucked. I was sick."

I pushed him away. "Keep your germs far away from me," I laughed.

"Come back here, I'm not sick anymore. How was the school performance?"

I groaned. "It was a disaster. I had to kiss Embry." I felt my cheeks burn as I said that.

"I bet that sucked."

I shrugged. "It could've been worse."

"Yeah, probably. Let's get something to drink."

We hung around the kitchen with some kids from school, eating cheetos and drinking soda. At eleven thirty, Charlie ushered into the yard.

"Come on miscreants. Let's go set off some fireworks."

We all got up, following him onto the porch. Charlie hurried off to the end of the yard. Sue yelled for him to be careful and make sure he didn't burn off his eyebrows again this year.

"What's she talking about?" I asked.

Leah snickered. "Last year, Ivan Klein and dad got into an argument over what fireworks to set off first, and Ivan was waving a sparkler or something like that, around, and dad's hair caught on fire, and he lost an eyebrow. It was funny, him walking around with only one eyebrow for like six months."

I watched as Charlie set off the fireworks. All the little kids oohed and ahhed at the bright colors. I coughed on the sulfur that floated across the backyard.

I looked around at all the people gathered in the backyard. The latest song by Mylie Cyrus played in the living room. I looked over my shoulder. Seth and Becca were dancing on the coffee table. I snorted. If Charlie or Sue saw them they'd be in some serious trouble.

I heard a shriek of girlish delight across the yard, and turned to look. Charlie was chasing Sue around the yard. I laughed. Okay, maybe Seth and Becca would be safe this time.

I couldn't believe that I had been so anxious to leave all this, especially before I even gave it a chance. Maybe my parents dying had been a blessing in disguise. No, I doubted that. I think that even if they hadn't died, somehow I would have gone down this path. It just happened sooner rather than later.

Someone came around, handing us all sparklers. I took one, holding it out for Jake to light.

"Come on," he said, his features illuminated by the sparkler. "It's almost midnight."

He took my hand, and together we ran across the yard, collapsing on to the swing at the edge of the property. A slow countdown started, gradually growing louder as we neared midnight.

"Five, four, three, two, one. Happy New Year!"

All around us, people started kissing. I leaned toward Jake. My sparkler sizzled out as my lips touched his. Talk about ironic. I pulled away from him, laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"This," I held up the sparkler. "Us. Seriously, we suck at this."

"Yeah, you know, you're kinda right," he chuckled.

"I mean, I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but like, seriously? We're like friends who kiss occasionally."

"Yeah I know what you mean. It has always been weird. I like you, and I think you're hot as hell, but really, that's about it."

"Oh my god," I said smacking his chest, "I know what you mean. I hope we can still be friends, because I like you like that, but as a couple we sucked."

"Of course we can still be friends. You're a chick who likes zombie movies, and football. I'd be nuts not to want to hang with you. But uh, you might want to talk to Embry. Dude's been carrying a torch for you since you moved here."

I smiled sadly, looking across the yard to where Embry stood alone. "I figured that, especially after the note he left wedged in the pages of Great Expectations."

"Yeah, and the like, eight songs he wrote for you while you were gone."

"Wait, he wrote songs for me? Like a song you'd hear on the radio?"

Jake nodded. "He won't say they're for you, but they're all sad and mopey, so they have to be about you."

"You know, it's kinda messed up of you to still date me knowing that your best friend had the hots for me."

Jake shrugged. "He had his chance. He didn't take it, so…"

"So you did?"

"I'm a guy. What do you expect?"

"Yeah you're right. I can't date him though."

"Why not?"

"He's my best friend. I don't have many here and I don't really want to lose the one good friend I do have."

Jake rubbed my back. "I doubt you'd lose him. Besides, who needs Embry, when you have me?"

I smacked his chest. "You're so conceited."

Jake shrugged. "Eh, what can I say?"

"I don't know." I looked up. Leah was walking towards us. "You should give her another chance," I told him, nodding in her direction.

"You think?"

I nodded. "She's really not that bad, once you get past all the repressed teenage rage. Go on."

I pushed him towards Leah, who looked surprised as he sauntered up to her. Surprise turned to giddy happiness as she threw her arms around his neck. My first good deed of the year and one problem solved.

I glanced over at Embry who was staring at me. Now if I could just figure out what to do about him, I thought fighting the urge to run across the yard and tackle him. My legs twitched in anticipation. I swallowed hard, getting up.

Now or never, I thought.

He met me halfway across the yard. "Hi," I said coming to a stop.

"Hey," he replied.

"Thanks, for the book. It was nice of you to replace it."

"It was no big deal. I know it was your favorite and Leah destroyed it. I'm glad you like it."

"Look, Embry. I um, I really don't know what to say about any of what's happened. You're my best friend, I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I just…I'm afraid to take that step."

"That's fine. Like I said, I'd wait forever if you asked me to. All you have to do is ask. But until then, I'll be there for you always."

"I know. I just…can't. Not right now."

And with that I walked away.

Reviews are better than doing a good thing for your not so evil step-sister...so leave me lots and I'll give you chapter 21!

"Nobody Does it Better" by Carly Simon