Author's note:
Sorry for the long delay. Spent a lot of time debating just what to do with all the stuff I had written. What to keep, what to trim, what to change, concerns about pacing, etc. Took a break to clear my head before I finally I said screw it and ceased worrying so much about it. Cut out a couple thousand words of a section that didn't quite fit, added a couple others, but it's pretty true to the original stuff I wrote months ago. Hope you enjoy. Especially the tortures I sadistically enjoy putting Shepard and Tali through.
The deep exhalation of breath and the relaxed slump of Rael'Zorah's shoulders did not go unnoticed by his team, but they'd learned enough to keep out of the admiral's affairs. Still, Rael drew a few curious gazes while the tension drained from him after a day that had consisted of him snapping orders and throwing out criticisms without provocation. So as he sat at his desk in the lab reading studiously from his omni-tool, the technicians and scientists traded looks of relief at having their old boss back. He was not a charming or pleasant man, but he was fair and knew when they needed breaks from their work, even if he seemed to never leave the lab. When the tension suddenly returned to him only half a minute later, muffled sighs and mutterings were kept from the admiral's ears by silenced vocal emitters.
The Illusive Man tapped ash from his cigarette and watched the feed from the Normandy's mess hall where half the ground team was gathered. It was a strange sight. Miranda and Jacob were speaking with Vakarian between sips of their drinks. Goto was telling a story with animated gestures where she sat atop the table, and Chakwas, Moreau, and the quarian marine were laughing and listening with rapt attention. Chambers, Donnelly, and Daniels were having their own conversation by the medbay window with Solus, who was rapidly tapping away at a console working on studies of the quarian immune system. And when he switched to the hangar feed, he watched a krogan being bounced off a bulkhead by biotic force while lifting a meaty arm to block a punch from a scarred mercenary. Despite the ferocity of the attacks, Grunt was laughing and Jack had a wicked little grin on her lips.
He was a man who didn't mourn the absence of a circle of comrades or friends to share his time with, but he could appreciate the crew's interactions. Even Miranda had agreed that Shepard's more relaxed command style was well-suited to a crew on a strange mission that led them around the galaxy, often lacking clearly defined goals. Delegation was something that didn't appear to bother the commander, unlike the founder of Cerberus. Of course, after so many failed projects, he'd begun to keep a closer eye on all of his organization's affairs.
He muted the sound and returned his attentions to the datapad in his hand concerning Project Overlord. He was confident that the favor he had done for Rael'Zorah would be returned. He hadn't really left the admiral much choice, after all. The information he could provide on the geth just might be enough for the breakthrough the project needed.
"Okay, fine, I admit it. Now will you stop-"
Shepard and Tali came to a sudden stop when they rounded the corner on deck three to see almost a dozen people gazing their way.
"Admit what, Shepard?" Joker inquired as he took a bite out of another chocolate bar.
"It's a quarian thing. You wouldn't understand. Right, Reegar?"
"Right, sir." The marine answered without missing a beat despite having no idea what they'd been talking about.
Tali blushed, once more grateful for the visor as she made her way toward the kitchen area where Gardner was chopping potatoes with a large knife at a speed that made the immunodeficient woman stare in amazement. His fingers were only a few millimeters from the blade at times, but he seemed oblivious. A quiet sigh of envy escaped her lips while she ignored Joker's nosy questions and opened a cabinet to pull out a tube of nutrient paste from the cache Kal had stocked it with.
"Commander, were you being teased by a woman you outweigh by a good thirty-five kilos?" Tali turned to see Shepard smirking at his mother hen of a doctor where he stood, arms folded, leaning against a bulkhead.
"I can't help it. It's just too much fun." Tali blinked her eyes sweetly over at her commander, who rolled his.
"Indeed. Enjoyed it myself," Mordin chimed in over the comm from the medbay, looking up from his console to give Shepard that little grin that turned his expression from a perpetual frown into something that always made people nervous.
"Bosh'tet," Shepard muttered a split second before the galley erupted with laughter.
"And he's already started wearing a suit! I mean, sure, it's not an environment suit, but hey!" Kasumi dodged a swat the commander aimed at her arm as he walked by on his way to the fridge. "I had a feeling you saved that outfit."
Tali was about to attach the tube of nutrient paste to her helmet when a hairy hand snatched it from her grasp. She stared at the balding cook, stunned, but the man was grinning and pointing at the oven, where he had a turian dish baking in a blue glass dish.
" I was going to ask... keelah, is that dextro food? Can you sterilize it? Um, I was going to ask where that outfit came from... wow, that smells good."
Most of them had a hard time keeping up with Tali's distracted mind and mouth, but when they'd figured it out, Kasumi pointed at Gardner who answered first. "Damn right, miss. There's no way I'm letting the commander's, uh, friend get sick from my cooking or letting her eat that nutrient paste crap if she doesn't have to. Same for you, Mister Reegar!"
Tali was still staring longingly at the oven while Kal laughed. "Shepard, can we take him back to the fleet with us?"
"Not a chance," Tali replied, sniffing the air with a sigh of anticipation before she turned away. "Okay, so, the suit?" She walked over and hopped up to a seat on the edge of the table with a smile at Kasumi. She had a good feeling about the people who weren't wearing Cerberus logos, especially the petite woman in the hood. Besides, with Shepard and Garrus in the room, punches would come swiftly to anyone who offended her.
Over at the refrigerator, Shepard chuckled and pulled out two of the nutrient drinks reserved for the biotics and tore off the top of one while Kasumi began her story. He leaned against the fridge and pulled up his omni-tool to examine their schedule and other ship's business. He usually reserved paperwork for when his spirits were up, lest he put holes in the bulkhead... or for when Miranda stormed up to his cabin and demanded he start signing things. While most in the galley laughed at Kasumi's retelling of Shepard finding a credit chit in a couch and accidentally setting off an alarm, the commander was chuckling at a memory.
"You've got to be kidding me. More? I never would have agreed to this post or gone to PCO school if I knew being in command meant this much paperwork."
Anderson laughed at his suffering XO and tossed two more datapads on his desk. "You didn't agree. I bribed Admiral Hackett with a couple of bottles of bourbon and he cut your orders. Besides, isn't this a nice change of pace from going a week without a shower, chafing in your armor-"
"No." Shepard smirked and leaned back in his chair while they shared a laugh and turned to gaze out the window of their office at the Arcturus shipyards. Looking at the patchwork of hull plating that half-covered the skeletal frame of the Alliance's newest frigate, he couldn't help but feel a bit of pride... even if he was going to be spending most of his time standing watches instead of shooting things. Well... probably. He imagined the Alliance brass didn't put two N7 rated combat officers in command of a frigate just to drink coffee and do paperwork. He didn't mind the hat with 'Plankowner' stitched on it, though.
"From what I know of biotics, shouldn't you be unconscious and snoring right now?"
Garrus' dry voice broke his attention from the latest hull inspection report and he shrugged, flipping to the requisition requests. "I napped for a few minutes while Tali was patching me up. And I have this." He waggled the nutrient drink in his hand and drained it in a long pull before tossing it in the garbage. "So. What can I do for you, Garrus?" Here it comes...
"You can move your ass away from the refrigerator, for starters."
"All right, but that's your one favor for the day." Shutting down his omni-tool, he pushed off the fridge and returned Garrus' smirk with one of his own before he glanced over at the table where Tali and others were laughing at the retelling of the mass accelerator cannon shot he'd fired to punch a hole in one of Hock's walls. Tali shot him a glance that seemed to say 'you're hopeless', and he just shrugged.
"She seems happy. You drugged her or something, right?"
"That's my theory," Kal'Reegar said as he walked up to stand beside them. "Haven't seen her this happy in a while."
"She's just excited to be aboard another Turian-designed warship." Garrus ignored Shepard's glare and took a sip of water.
"Turian and human. And in case you've forgotten, Garrus, Anderson and I were the ones who first took the SR1 out of spacedock."
"How does that work, anyways?" Kal'Reegar inquired. "You're a soldier but you're also in command of a ship? That doesn't make much sense to me."
Shepard chuckled and opened his second drink, taking a sip before he answered. "If you score high enough, demonstrate enough potential, and can handle the workload, you can be approved for a second designator. Spectre status moved that along, but I was already qualified for command... barely. It all comes in handy when you get shot at for a living; you never know when you'll end up like Garrus here, too banged up to perform properly on the field."
"I forget, who of us here hasn't been killed before?"
Kal laughed quietly but stared at Shepard for a moment. "So you really... Tali wasn't pulling my leg? You were actually dead?" He didn't miss the faint shudder of the commander's frame while he stared down at the orange liquid inside the pouch in his hand.
"Yeah. It wasn't pleasant." Draining his drink, he tossed it in the garbage and walked over to the table without another word, coming up beside Tali while Kasumi told the story of their fight with Hock's gunship, her hands waving about animatedly.
"Touchy subject," Garrus clarified for the quarian marine, shrugging. "His ship gone, crew disbanded, his mother's children both dead. I think he feels guilty that it's only been a couple of weeks for him when it's been two years for everyone who cared about him."
"Good point. Guess it's a good thing I didn't bring up how it affected Tali." He didn't miss the way her hand brushed against Shepard's, but their little moment was interrupted by the arrival of a stomping krogan.
"The gunship again? Really, thief? That last fight on Horizon is a better story." Grunt snorted and strode over to the galley, grabbing some plastic-wrapped cured sausage from a cabinet and taking a monstrous bite without even unwrapping it. Tali peered over at Shepard with interest, but he shook his head.
"A giant floating cockroach that shoots laser beams? That wasn't much of a fight. You all just kept shooting it while I distracted it."
"How about the colossus?" Kal inquired with a grin as Tali's eyes shot over to his.
"Yes, I want to hear about that. And if someone doesn't tell me why Garrus was mad at Shepard, I'm taking Reegar and the others and heading back to the Flotilla."
"Not likely," Shepard murmured, taking a grip on one of the straps on the back of her suit, grinning at the way her shoulders tensed in the telltale sign of a blush.
Garrus and Reegar snickered as they walked over to the gathering at the table. The turian pulled out a chair and leaned back comfortably while everyone turned to listen to the story. Tali tried subtly to reach back and dislodge Shepard's grip, but he just smiled innocently and draped his arm on her shoulder instead.
"Are you two finished? Can I get on with the story now?" Tali was suddenly aware of everyone's eyes on them and she muttered something unintelligible while the commander shrugged.
"Make it quick. I'm starving."
"No shit you're starving," Jack snorted as she and Zaeed walked into the mess hall, making a beeline for the galley. "You probably burned up twelve thousand calories charging around like that."
Tali twisted to give him a curious gaze, but Garrus cleared his throat loudly. "Will you all please shut up? I have a story to tell and calibrations to finish."
" 'Finish', yeah, that's a good one," Joker commented as he limped in and found a seat.
Tali's patience finally ran out and she pointed her activated omni-tool at Garrus. "Start talking, turian, or I'll hack your visor to display hanar pornography."
The mess hall erupted in laughter again while the turian's mandibles twitched and he deactivated the eyepiece. "I'm not going to ask why you have hanar pornography." Tali's eyes narrowed behind her visor and her hand twitched threateningly. "Ah, yeah. So, we get intel from the Illusive Man that you're on Haestrom and the geth were searching for you..."
"Why the hell are you talking when we record all of our missions?" Zaeed snickered and walked over to open up his feed from the start of the shuttle drop. Few of them missed the discomfort on Shepard's face, and the grizzled merc was all too happy to exploit his embarrassment. Everyone but their commander watched, most with amusement, but Tali's jaw had dropped open when Shepard relinquished command to Garrus.
He put Garrus in charge because he... keelah. She wasn't sure whether to be deeply touched or profoundly disturbed that she had that effect on him. She was only further confused and stunned when the recording showed Shepard disappearing in a flash of blue light. What the...? She hadn't forgotten he was a biotic, but he wasn't a very powerful one. Right? But some of the crew was laughing as if it was no surprise to them. She glanced up at him, but his attention seemed focused on paperwork he had pulled up on his omni-tool.
"I still can't believe Shepard left our poor krogan behind," Kasumi laughed, giving the commander's shoulder a light shove. Tali watched his cheeks darken slightly before said krogan interrupted with a roar.
" 'Poor' !? It was was glorious! We didn't even fire our weapons half the time! Let me show you... hmm... stupid machine!" Grunt bellowed at his activated omni-tool before Kasumi sighed and leaned over, tapping a few keys. Zaeed deactivated his recording while Grunt took his place, starting up playback of his own from their entrance into the first courtyard. Tali was transfixed by the sight of Grunt and Shepard tearing through geth platforms, but she was one of the few who didn't laugh or cheer. She didn't say a word until the recording ended, when she slowly turned to gaze up at Shepard, but he was tapping quietly away at his omni-tool with a tight jaw, ignoring the others' amusement... and her.
Frustrated, she stood and punched his shoulder. "You... stupid... bosh'tet! You're lucky you didn't have more than two holes in you and-"
"Hey! Watch it, quarian!" Grunt bellowed, stomping toward her with narrowed eyes, to the surprise of almost everyone but Shepard, who held up a palm toward the krogan.
"She's not trying to kill me, Grunt. She's just-"
" 'Fiercely protective'?" Joker practically sang the words with a wide grin on his face, drawing a dozen laughs and glares from silver and blue eyes.
"I'm not sure if I should be glad or mortified that we decided to upgrade you to an L5n implant, Commander." Miranda's voice threatened to break as she spoke, but she couldn't restrain herself any longer and laughter suddenly spilled from her lips while Jacob grinned beside her.
Shepard slipped away from Tali and Grunt's 'fierce protection' and hopped to a seat atop the kitchen counter with a smirk, folding his arms. "Be glad. It was a damned good show. Right, Grunt?"
"Battlemaster, every krogan on Tuchanka will be put to shame!" Grunt appropriated Donnelly's beer and drained it with two fearsome gulps.
"When he finds out he missed this one, Wrex is going to be so pissed." Garrus' recorded voice drew everyone's attention and they turned to the image over the turian's wrist where he was doubled over laughing. Tali finally cracked a smile despite the unanswered questions that were bouncing around in her head.
When everyone's amusement finally faded and Gardner had fresh drinks passed around, Tali found herself sitting on the counter beside Shepard, eying him curiously. "There's something I don't understand. How did you manage to do... all that? Your biotics were so... well, weak before."
"Thanks, Tali," he said, taking a sip of dark beer while giving her a smirk.
"You know what I mean."
"I can explain that." Miranda gave Tali a small smile. "Come on, I'll show you engineering and explain on the way." Silver eyes glanced over a shoulder as Tali followed Miranda out of the mess hall, accompanied by Kasumi and Kelly.
When they were out of sight, Shepard turned to the table, seeing the remaining crew grinning at him. "...What?" he inquired warily, folding his arms.
Jack was the first to speak up from her spot by the medbay door, back to the wall. "How the hell is the krogan hungrier than you?"
"His love is all he needs," Joker chimed in, earning a swat to the back of his head from a chuckling Chakwas while the rest had another laugh at their commander's expense. It faded quickly, though, when they spotted the stare he had fixed on the pilot.
"Seriously, Joker? After what we just watched, pissing him off is goddamn stupid." Zaeed chortled and downed a shot of whisky.
"He would never. No one pilots our baby like I do." Joker's declaration was proud, but he found himself standing when Shepard took a step toward him. "Oh, shit. I'm gonna, uh, go-"
"Get us to Illium? Why, yes, you are, Joker. And if I so much as feel the deckplates quiver beneath my feet, I'll order EDI to leave no more than ten seconds total of dead air in the cockpit for the duration of the trip."
"Oh, shit," Joker muttered again as he hobbled off. When he was out of sight, laughter erupted again while Shepard cracked a grin at Jack.
"Come on, psychotic biotic. You worked hard today, too. Let's whip up something to eat."
Jack seemed to press a little tighter back into the wall when a few pairs of eyes turned her way, but Shepard's seemed to be challenging her, a smirk on his lips. Scowling, she pushed off the wall and strode toward him to meet his challenge. "Fine, but only if you teach me how to do that damn charge."
Gardner had recommended a large batch of Texas chili that was an old family recipe, and Jack's mood improved when she had a large knife in her hand, even if she was chopping peppers beside her commander. Kenneth had been assigned the baking of potatoes at Gabby's insistence despite his objection that he was Scottish and not Irish. She, of course, would have none of it, forcing him to play nice with the crazy woman that squatted in their subdeck. Kal occasionally wandered by to peer into the oven with longing, and Gardner had brightened his spirits by starting up another dish of casserole to save for the unconscious quarians in the medbay. Shepard corralled Garrus and Kal into assisting, to their chagrin.
The peace was broken when Tali came storming in following her introduction to EDI. Fortunately, she and Kal were placated by a warm smile and the granting of full access to her shackling protocols, and Tali wandered back off while she gaped at the sophistication of the code she was examining on her omni-tool. Of course, her muttering about 'appropriate retribution' for concealing EDI's presence left Shepard a bit concerned, but Jack distracted him by waving the knife in front of his face.
Miranda was the next to interrupt, informing him of a call from the Illusive Man. Shepard fought the urge to scowl and instead shot his XO a smile and gestured for her to accompany him, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of Scotch from a helpful Kenneth. They pulled up chairs and took a seat when the quantum entanglement communicator came online, Shepard filling Miranda's glass while the Illusive Man raised a curious brow.
"Sharing a drink with me, Shepard? Rather friendly, even for you."
The spectre shrugged and tapped Miranda's glass after he filled his own, then held his up to his 'boss'. "Well, that's three significant favors you've done for me, even if one wasn't intentional. My life, Garrus' life, and now Tali's. We may not always agree, but you should know me well enough by now to realize that I pay my debts."
There was a brief pause while blue and mechanical eyes locked on each other's, but the Illusive Man relented and picked up his glass to raise it as well. "Eliminate the Collector threat and any debts will be settled." They all took a sip and Shepard sighed quietly at the warm, familiar burn.
"I'm afraid our tastes in liquor differ, though." He allowed a wry smile to play across his lips. "I heard you prefer bourbon, but Scotch is more to my taste."
The chuckle that came across the communicator accompanied a smile from the Cerberus leader and his top operative as the former took a drag from his cigarette and blew it out slowly. "Well, I can't fault you for that. How's your progress?"
Shepard deferred to Miranda with a gesture, taking another pleasant sip of the smoky malt and leaning back in his chair. "Good," Miranda answered, "The new cannons are completely operational – and very effective – and we're on our way to Illium for the next two dossiers. While we're there, we'll look around for some more upgrades and try to find a dock that can help us install the armor Jacob recommended."
"Good. I'm still not convinced Doctor T'Soni will rejoin you, Commander, but she and the justicar would both make powerful additions to your team... though I hear you've put even Jack to shame." There almost seemed to be a twinkle in the glow of the Illusive Man's artificial eyes and Shepard could only force a chuckle while Miranda grinned at him.
"I had a feeling Miranda would enjoy typing up that part of the report. Yeah, you two were definitely correct about that theory regarding the eezo exposure, and the new implant. Can't say I'm disappointed."
The Illusive Man leaned forward slightly in his chair, his cigarette forgotten in its ashtray. "I heard you and Grunt left piles of torn Geth heads and extremities all over the place down there."
Shepard his his sneer behind a slightly embarrassed grin and a shrug of his shoulders while he rubbed the back of his neck. Whether the Illusive Man was truly intrigued or playing the buddy act, he didn't know, but he didn't like either possibility. "Yeah, I think Grunt's a bit... impressionable. But it was a lot of fun. I'll have EDI forward you his omni-tool recording of the mission."
"I look forward to it." The Illusive Man leaned back in his chair, tapping ash from his cigarette. "I'll admit, when I first read you deferred command to Mister Vakarian, I was surprised. Miranda was rather effusive in her praise for the decision, though, both because of his capabilities and your realization of your own limitations."
Shrugging, Shepard glanced sidelong at his XO. "Well, I can't say it was one of my finer moments. I know Miranda would have done just as good a job, though. But Garrus has more experience with Geth."
Miranda shook her head and smiled. "I understand, Commander, and I agree with you. If we encounter any more geth, though, perhaps you should bring a sword." Her lips twitched and curled into an amused grin, and the three shared a chuckle.
After they all had another sip, the Illusive Man scanned his datapad for a moment. "I see there are three other quarians aboard. How are they doing?"
There was a false note of sincerity in the man's voice, one that almost resulted in a scowl. He knew the man really meant 'When are you getting rid of them?'. Diplomatic, remember? So he simply nodded and tapped his fingers thoughtfully on the armrest of his chair. "Yes, one is nearly recovered from a minor wound and two are under sedation, but our doctors are confident they'll recover. Their ship is undamaged and ready to take them home when they're well enough to travel. I'll have Tali look for some possible upgrades when we're on Illium."
The subtle arch of a holographic brow made Shepard smile and lean more comfortably back in his chair, chiding Cerberus' leader gently. "Don't tell me you forgot about the 'playing nice' suggestion. Commander Shepard rescues them, gets them medical attention, upgrades their ship, and sends them back home, all from a Cerberus vessel? Good PR is good PR. Especially when it comes out of my pocket."
The Illusive Man regarded him for a moment through a plume of smoke before nodding with a quiet laugh. "A fair point. I'd heard a rumor about you picking guns up off the battlefield for salvage..."
Miranda grinned at a wincing Shepard who was again rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, well... it adds up. Especially with all the combat we saw. Just don't ask how much. I'd hate to see my Cerberus funding suddenly drop off."
Miranda and her boss' laugh gave him a moment of dark amusement at their expense... well, the latter's, at least. "Don't worry about that, Shepard. I'll let you handle the quarians' upgrades, but the Normandy is our responsibility." Miranda replied first and smiled behind the rim of her glass while she took a sip before she turned back to her boss. "We have dinner for the crew cooking..."
The Illusive Man smiled and stubbed out his cigarette, waving a hand. "Of course, I'm sure they'll appreciate it. Enjoy your evening and your reunion with Doctor T'Soni, Shepard." The commander rose beside Miranda and started to turn. "And... thank you for the drink."
He had to fight that sneer again, but Shepard turned back to the Illusive Man. "I'll give bourbon a shot next time," he promised, draining the rest of his glass while the other man chuckled and ended the call. When the table returned to its usual position and they pushed in their chairs, Miranda gave him a sidelong smile.
"Nice job. I know you two still don't really trust each other outside of the mission, but he does appreciate civility."
"Civility? Me?" He laughed quietly and gestured for her to precede him out the door. "I just shoot things."
"And tear their heads off," Miranda said with an amused smirk shot at him over her shoulder as they walked through the door to the empty armory. "One downside to these automatic doors is that you can't hold them open for a lady."
His lips twitched at that remark. The Cerberus ice queen certainly seemed to have been warming up to him lately, but the extent of it was a curious – and perhaps worrisome – question. A response mentioning Tali came to mind, but they hadn't really discussed... well, anything yet. Including whether or not they'd try to keep their feelings concealed. But a subtle hint might do the trick. "Well, you can ask Tali and Liara about my 'rescued damsels' tally. Chivalry isn't completely dead."
Miranda's face darkened slightly when she stepped into the elevator before him, but she had her smile back on her lips when she turned around and the doors closed behind him. "I'll try to avoid becoming an entry on that list. I think Tali might glare at me."
Laughing, Shepard pressed the button. "It doesn't take much. She likes glaring. Especially at Garrus and me."
"Is that one of her glares?" Miranda asked quietly when they rounded the corner to the mess hall with glasses in hand and a bottle in Shepard's. Tali was standing at the counter beside Garrus, arms folded across her chest with silver eyes staring intently at the pair.
"Yeah, but it's one of the ones that says 'I'm going to zap you with my drone' instead of 'I'm going to shoot you with my shotgun'." He smiled at Tali as they approached and set the bottle down. "What did we miss while we were talking to the Illusive Man?"
Tali's eyes flicked over to Miranda who was refilling her glass with wine while moving over toward Jacob, who smiled at the woman. "Oh, not much," she answered after a moment with a deceptively sweet note in her voice.
"Liar," Garrus responded dryly. "We were telling everyone about the assault on Virmire and how you hardly left anything for us to kill."
"Oh, come on," Shepard protested. "I left you at least six."
"Five." Tali and Garrus answered in unison, sharing a glance before they laughed.
Shepard shrugged and refilled his glass. "You must have missed one."
As dinner approached readiness, Tali and Garrus shared the old SR1 tradition of a weekly movie night with the others. The recommendations all seemed to follow the same theme, to Shepard's mixed amusement and annoyance: rampages by a driven hero. Kasumi had been insistent upon a classic samurai film. Jacob's involved machine guns and headbands. Everyone groaned at Garrus' suggestion and shot down that idea quickly. A random number draw ended up deciding, and Gabby smirked victoriously at her partener when she picked a film about an ancient kilted hero who wielded a large sword, to Kenneth's chagrin. The bulk of the crew took their seats in the mess to watch the projections against the walls while Shepard, a disappointed Garrus, and Gardner put the finishing touches on the chili and dextro casserole. Half of the latter was carefully loaded into tubes via a sterilization unit under the scrutinizing gaze of Mordin, who'd come out to devour a heaping portion of dark salad. And possibly insects. The salarian wandered contentedly over to his seat after requesting a private meeting with Shepard following the movie, leaving the commander wondering why his stomach had suddenly tightened up on him.
The food was served before the evil trio of Jack, Zaeed, and Grunt could start cursing and destroying things. Tali and Reegar gave the steam-obscured tubes cautious glances, but Mordin reassured them all sterilization procedures had been followed and they took their first bites with wide eyes and happy noises that made Gardner grin and slap Garrus' hand. Gabby grew daring enough to kick Zaeed beneath the table when the merc complained about the relative mildness of the chili and Gardner tossed him a bottle of fiery sauce while the non-humans stared intently at the film and the primitive humans. Mordin was especially intrigued, Tali and Reegar were horrified by the dirty, bare skin, and Grunt was less than impressed by the battle prowess of everyone but the heroes... though he did admit to wanting the large poleaxe that the red-bearded bruiser friend of the hero carried. Shepard and Jack wolfed down their first helpings of chili at a rate that made Miranda and Jacob chuckle and Gardner grin. He was quick to give them refills, and the commander ate quietly in the back while he continued catching up on his paperwork. Tali, however, discreetly moved back beside him and snuggled contentedly against his side while Grunt and Zaeed hooted at the various decapitations and other brutal displays.
Gabby found herself elbowing Kenneth when the Scot mumbled about poorly imitated accents, but it didn't escape Shepard's amused notice that they were leaning against each other's sides practically the entire film. They'd figure it out sooner or later. Grunt had started to move his seat back toward Shepard when he noticed the commander wasn't with the rest of the group but he was waved off and Tali's confusion was likewise waved away while the krogan resumed his attack on the chili pot. That offensive grew only more intense when Zaeed shared the bottle of fiery hot sauce. Gardner had to insist upon taking care of the serving himself despite Kasumi's attempts to help, keeping the crew's drinks refilled while the desserts baked. Chakwas likewise had to kep Reegar in his seat, assuring him she'd be looking after his teammates and watching the movie on her office monitor with the sound nearly muted in deference to the sleeping quarians on their beds.
When the credits rolled, Grunt was the first to give his review. "Fine warrior... for a human. But Shepard would have torn off the restraints and left a trail of blood all the way to the dying king's bed!"
The laughter from that comment reached all the way up to the CIC while the commander dropped his face into his palm and silently wondered how he had the misfortune to become an infant krogan's personal hero. Tali and Garrus, naturally, found it hilarious.
Kal'Reegar sighed when he stepped off the elevator and into the hangar. Tali had noticed his silence while they wiped down the tables and satisfied their quarian need for cleanliness, but she hadn't pushed. He was thankful for that. He'd tried to stay positive for her, and he'd enjoyed the last few hours, but when the ache in his hip returned, so did his thoughts on the events that took place on Haestrom. He snorted quietly as he made his way toward their shuttle, imagining what Tali would say if she found him brooding when he'd been the one to tell her not to do so earlier. But she hadn't been in command of the marines. They were his squad. And most of them were dead. When the hatch to the shuttle hissed open and he caught sight of the draped bodies lined up in the main hold, he dropped to a seat and buried his visor in his hands.
"Kal?"
He jerked and lifted his head with a sniff to clear his nose, swallowing and catching sight of Shepard standing in front of him, his formal jacket gone and a familiar black strap strung diagonally across his chest. Clearing his throat, the marine straightened his back, wincing at the hoarseness of his own voice. "Yeah, Shepard? What can I do for you?"
"It should be the other way around, I think." The human commander's expression of concern shifted to one of understanding as he walked up to the hatch and gazed inside at the bodies of the quarian fallen, exhaling a slow breath. Kal turned and stared as well, blinking back the tears in his eyes. He'd lost marines on missions before, but never more than one or two. And he'd only been in command of a squad for two years, and a marine for only five. Shepard, he knew, had been at it over twice as long as that, and in far more and far bloodier battles. Part of him was grateful for it, that the human's timely arrival had prevented the total annihilation of his squad, but another part resented it. Resented that they'd had to be rescued by another squad that tore through the geth like they were nothing more than a training exercise. A squad that didn't have the quarian's extensive knowledge on fighting geth. A group of people he would have labeled undisciplined or insane if he'd met them off of a battlefield; nothing like the professionals he would have pitted against any other squad. Until today, at least. Sighing, Kal leaned against the side of the open hatch and shook his head.
"I think I recognize that expression, helmet or not." Looking up, he saw Shepard still gazing at the covered bodies. "If I had to guess, I'd say you're wondering what you could have done differently. You're beating yourself up for not being more prepared. For not being a better leader." The eyes that turned to meet his gaze through a blue visor didn't look like those of a galactic hero or some larger than life spectre. They looked tired, really. And he couldn't argue with them at that moment.
"Yeah. That's some of it." Kal turned away from his gaze and sat back down on the edge of the shuttle deck, leaning forward and setting his forearms on his knees while he stared down at the deck. "Must be the same for humans as it is for quarians. Been through it all before, though. You're going to tell me there's nothing I could have done differently. That I prepared my team as best I could. All that usual stuff. Right?"
"No." Shepard took a seat beside him and leaned against the side of the hatch, folding his arms while he gazed out at the Kodiak shuttle. "You know all of that already. So I'll ask you instead: what do you think you did wrong?"
Kal bristled instinctively and opened his mouth, but it snapped shut a second later and he sighed. "I don't know. Been thinking about it. Insertion went just like it was supposed to, but that wasn't my responsibility anyway. Deployed my team like I should have." He shrugged and sighed again, his head drooping. "Shouldn't have moved so far away from the observatory door. The geth moved right in and started hacking."
"You know better than that. You would've been flanked and cut to ribbons if you'd stayed by the door. Try again."
Well, that was a good point. And he knew that when he'd taken up a position across the courtyard and sealed the door and shutters. If it hadn't been for that initial fire from the dropship that took out half of the other squad and left them separated... but he couldn't do anything about that, either. Kal shot to his feet with a growl and slammed a fist against the hatch. "I don't know, damn it! I can't think of anything! If you're so damn wise, why don't you tell me what I did wrong?!"
He glared down at the human, but Shepard just shrugged his shoulders. "Because you didn't. Tali told me about the mission when we were on our way back to the Normandy. What odds did you come up with that you'd be detected on your way to Haestrom?"
The man's calm was irritating, but Kal sighed and thought back. "Twenty-five percent."
Shepard nodded. "Betting odds, but not a sure thing. You rolled the dice and came up unlucky." He stood and shook his head. "For four hours, half your squad held off an entire company of geth, using old, salvaged weapons while your shields were being beat to shit by radiation as soon as you moved out of cover. I don't know about you, Reegar, but that impresses the hell out of me. And so do you." He shrugged and gazed at the hangar door, so similar to the one he stood in front of while he watched Kaidan vaporize through a viewscreen. "You got a bad hand, but you did everything right. Me? I jeopardized the mission on Virmire by playing a numbers game with lives instead of prioritizing the mission and the bomb I should have protected. I risked my life and Grunt's life by charging off instead of staying with the rest of the squad earlier." Shepard snorted and shook his head. "Sometimes I've survived just through stupid luck, if you believe in it. No one's immune. And it's a real bitch sometimes." His face darkened at that.
Kal grunted quietly and nodded slowly, remembering what he'd read about Akuze. Bad luck, will of the ancestors, will of the spirits... whatever people called it. That was something to think about, at least. The opening of the elevator door drew their attention, though, and Tali stepped out with Garrus, Chakwas, and Joker. They stayed behind when Tali spotted them and started heading their way. "She's not gonna give me a pep talk, too, is she?"
"I don't give pep talks, Reegar. I give kicks in the ass." Shepard gave him a sidelong grin, finally drawing a quiet laugh from the marine as Tali drew close and glanced between them with concern evident behind her visor. Her fingers danced at her waist, a familiar gesture that made both men smile.
"Is everything okay? You two vanished when we were all supposed to be having a drink."
Kal traded a quick glance with Shepard and both men shrugged and spoke in unison. 'Everything's okay' and 'No problems here, ma'am' made Tali shake her head.
"You're both lying bosh'tets, but I forgive you. Go on, Shepard. I want to talk to Kal for a little while." She brushed her hand against his on her way to the shuttle, taking a seat and pointing at the deck beside her while Shepard smiled wryly at the quarian marine.
"You know better than to disobey her, I bet. I'll talk to you later, Reegar."
Kal took a seat as instructed and nodded up at the commander. "Thanks, Shepard."
Four pairs of eyes watched Tali set a hand lightly on Kal's slumped shoulder before the elevator doors slid shut, but it was Joker who broke the silence. "I guess that never gets any easier," he said quietly. Garrus and Shepard shook their heads after exchanging a gaze.
"Easier? No. But it helps to have people around who are there for you. Even if their amino acids are all backward." Garrus draped an arm on Joker's shoulder, earning a smirk from the pilot. "You stopped blaming yourself for the Normandy, Pressly, and the rest, right?"
Joker's wry grin faded when he looked at Shepard. "Yeah. Took a while, but Anderson helped a lot."
"He does that." Anderson's former XO smiled. "I told Tali my own story about that that time you all barged into the hangar."
"Is that where you went?" Karin laughed, looking at the violin case slung over Shepard's shoulder. "Interrupted again, I see." The commander shot her a playful glare before Joker piped up.
"Wait, are you telling me Tali knows all sorts of juicy psychological stuff about you that I don't? That's not fair, Commander! I've known you longer!" Joker protested as they stepped out onto deck one.
"You don't have her soothing voice, Joker," Shepard replied smoothly as they entered his cabin.
"Or her non-abrasive personality," Karin added.
"Or her hips." Garrus couldn't resist, earning an elbow from the good doctor. "Hey!"
"Good job, Doc." Shepard chuckled and led them down to the couches, sitting by the desk and pulling out two clear glasses and one blue, passing them around appropriately while Karin winked and reached under the table for a bottle. She passed it to the commander while Garrus reached toward the one with the message on it. "Touch it and die, Vakarian."
Garrus sighed and plucked out the one he'd left half-finished instead, gazing over at the spectre who hadn't even looked up from the bottle he was uncorking. "One day you're going to tell me how you do that."
"Magic. Here you go, Karin." He gave her glass a splash of wine and she sniffed it with a smile.
"Liara's preferences seem to have grown on you, Commander."
Shepard winced at the mention of her name. It had been a week since she'd messaged him and he'd never responded. Well, tomorrow he'd make it up to her. "Yeah, well, that's what happens when you let a curious asari archaeologist play around with your brain." He pulled the violin case from his back and slid it onto the desk beside the couch.
"Just your br- hey!" Karin's elbow was quick to find Garrus' ribs again, earning her a grin from Shepard and a laugh from Joker. "Damn it, woman, I'm not a punching bag."
The doctor sipped her wine and stared hard at the turian when she lowered her glass. "You do recall sneaking out of my medbay and coming up here to poison your liver hours after major surgery, do you not?"
Garrus' mandibles twitched while Shepard and Joker exchanged grins. "Shepard was the one who ordered EDI to lock you out of his cabin and the comm, remember?"
"True. But he bought me a bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy while you were on the Citadel." Her impish smile made the turian sigh and shake his head in defeat.
"So, speaking of Liara, what happens if she joins us? Like, is there going to be a catfight, with claws and mud and ripped clothing and- ow!" Joker rubbed his ribs and glared at Karin, who was smirking at him like a mother scolding her child.
"Vrolik Syndrome won't protect you from righteous justice, Joker." Shepard took a sip of his drink and reclined against the cushions before the door chimed, cutting off Joker's reply. He rolled his eyes and smiled. "Come in, Tali. You didn't need to... Mordin?"
The salarian scientist had walked in and started descending the stairs at his usual rapid pace before he noticed the other three on the couches, a datapad in hand. "Oh. Apologies. Asked EDI where you and Tali'Zorah were, she gave different locations. Assumed you were alone. Will return later." He turned, but Shepard smiled and held up a hand, leaning forward while Garrus and Joker traded smirks at the mention of Tali.
"Wait, wait, Mordin. Have a seat. I don't know if you drink wine, but you're welcome to some. What can I do for you?"
Large salarian eyes blinked, apparently intrigued by the contents of Karin's glass, and she held it up for him to sniff when he approached. Mordin's eyes opened wider. "Thessian, excellent. Very well, will stay. Medical matters, however. Should discuss later in private." He took a seat and set the datapad down while Shepard pulled out another glass and filled it with a chuckle.
"Mordin, half the crew thinks it's hilarious to poke fun at their commander, you and Doctor Chakwas are intimately familiar with every inch of my internal organs, and these two are old friends. Just go ahead." He leaned back after sliding the glass across to Mordin who picked it up and took a sip, sighing after he swallowed.
"Ahh. Very good vintage. Reminds me of asari maiden that offered to 'embrace eternity' with me once. Intriguing offer... not sure why. What was I saying? Right, right. Medical matters. Very well, if you insist." Mordin raised his datapad and gazed at it while Garrus and Joker traded grins that said 'This should be good'.
"Wasn't teasing about everything before. Mutual affection between you and Tali'Zorah obvious, mission on Haestrom and body language reveal its depth. Likely interested in intimate contact."
Shepard's serene eyes flew wide open as Garrus and Joker stifled their snickering, being kind – or intelligent – enough to gaze over at the fish tank. Oh, hell, why didn't I listen to him?
Mordin seemed unaware of the others as he scrolled through his datapad at a blistering rate while Karin hid a smile behind the rim of her wine glass. "Quarian immune system weak, opposite amino acid chirality problematic. Still, have devised enhanced antibiotics and immunosupressants. Not without risk, but substantially reduced." Mordin paused just long enough to sniff proudly while Joker emitted a choking sound. The salarian continued as Shepard's voice was cut off. "Rather fine work, if I do say so myself. Still, recommend avoiding oral contact with tissue or ingestion until her immune system is fully adapted."
He slid the datapad across the table to Shepard who had his mortified face buried in a palm while Garrus and Joker pressed their hands harder to their mouths. "Recommend cabin and self-sterilization. Have included diagrams, positions comfortable for both species, erogenous zone overviews, list of lubricants safe for both species." The pilot and the turian's efforts finally failed miserably as the cabin rang with half-strangled laughter. Mordin looked up and turned toward them sternly, waving a finger at them. "Not humorous! Serious medical matters! Reaction unacceptable!" He took a sip of wine and sighed contentedly, though. "Fine vintage, however."
Shepard didn't bother looking up while Karin gave Joker's thigh a slap and flicked Garrus' mandible with a fingernail, making them both jump and glare at her while their laughter faded into snickers.
"I swear, if you two aren't out of this room in five seconds, I'm going to have EDI broadcast every damn second of your lives aboard this ship, and by every second, I mean just that." Shepard's voice was a growl as his hand fell away from his face and his eyes promised death. He never saw Joker and Garrus rise so fast, the turian practically scrambling over the cripple to be the first one out the door as Shepard bellowed after them. "And if either of you breathes a word of this to anyone, same goddamned fate!"
Tali looked confused as she dodged past a rushing Joker and Garrus. The duo broke into unrestrained laughter a moment before the cabin door slid shut. Setting her hands on her hips, Tali glanced between the trio. "Okay... what did I miss?"
Shepard's face returned to his palm while Mordin turned and his eyes brightened. "Ah, Tali'Zorah! Was offering medical advice to the commander about any prospective intimacy. Happy to relate to you as well. Garrus and Joker had inappropriate reaction, quite unprofessional."
Shepard knew Tali was staring with slowly dawning horror without even raising his head. Karin took the poor girl's hand and guided the stunned quarian to sit beside her on the couch. "Don't worry, dear. The commander already threatened them with the wrath of God, or the next best thing."
"I... um... what?" Tali seemed to be in a daze as she sat, staring at Shepard, but for once he was no help. So she turned to Mordin, finally managing to summon a reasonably coherent sentence. "You... talked to Shepard about... um... while those two were in the room!?"
The human male winced while the salarian appeared taken aback, taking a sip of wine before he replied calmly. "He insisted. Said he was not embarrassed to discuss medical matters in front of his physican or friends."
"I didn't know you were going to talk about that, Mordin!" Shepard snapped, finally removing his face from his palm and leaning back in the couch to stare up at the skylight with a sigh.
"Um... and by 'that', you mean... oh, keelah, I knew it." Tali whined, burying her visor in her hands while Karin rubbed her back warmly.
Mordin sniffed. "Should have anticipated possibility. I did warn him. But still, embarrassment unproductive. And Shepard put, er, 'fear of god' into them. Saw it myself. Won't talk. Doctor Chakwas and I are professional physicians, want only safety and happiness for patients."
"He's right, Tali. Besides, he put a lot of work into this." Karin smiled and sipped her wine, though Shepard was certain he saw a vicious little twitch of her lips when she glanced at him. Evil woman.
Tali's hands didn't move from her visor, her voice a soft, far away thing. "I... we haven't even... oh, keelah. Go ahead."
"Excellent!" Mordin began relaying the information over again while Tali glared at Shepard out of the side of her visor, but he was still staring up at the skylight in a pointless attempt to escape his doom.
Author's note:
Crew of a US naval vessel that gets the ship ready for commissioning or are crew when it is are known as 'plankowners' due to an old tradition that they could petition to get a piece of the wooden deck when the ship was decommissioned. Always thought it would be a nice bit for Shepard and Anderson to have been there to put the finishing touches on the old girl and be the ones to take her out of dock for the first time.
Also, don't think I ever saw anyone really answer the question of why on earth an infantry officer would be put in command of a warship.
In case you haven't noticed, Mordin's my favorite source of comic relief. And poor Rael made a deal with the devil, who always comes to collect.