Now, back to Edward and Bella and the aftermath of Seattle.

Disclaimer: Twilight and all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.

If I'm incorrect in crediting the songs it is by mistake. It's what's in my iPod, folks.

Loneliness is such a sad affair

And I can hardly wait to be with you again

What to say to make you come again

Come back to me again

And play your sad guitar

"Superstar" by The Carpenters, preformed by Sonic Youth

EPOV

Five weeks.

It had been five weeks since Seattle, and Bella still refused to see me.

I had gone to my parents' house the Monday night following the ball, knowing they had returned. Having returned to Forks the night of the ball, I was prepared to show Bella how much she meant to me. What I wasn't planning on was my family's reactions to what happened in Seattle between me and Bella.

When I tried using my key to Carlisle's and Esme's house, I discovered the lock had been changed. So like some outsider, I was forced to ring the doorbell. Esme answered the door, but instead of greeting me with a smile, she took the magazine that was in her hand and proceeded to hit me with it, yelling, "What did I tell you? What did I say? Edward Anthony Cullen, didn't I tell you to treat her right? I trusted you to take care of her!"

I frantically looked past her, searching for any sign of Bella. Worried, frantic thoughts of Royce following us back to her room and busting down the door after I left, flooded my mind. I needed to see her to make sure she was safe with my family.

Instead of Bella, I saw Alice walking up behind Esme.

"YOU," my sister shrieked while ripping the magazine away from our mother, only to wail on me. Through the hits she landed, she growled words that didn't even make sentences. "Selfish… stupid… don't know… heartbroken… idiot… not my brother."

It was a misunderstanding.

Bella misunderstood.

Of course, it's not like I stopped to explain why I left. Like an asshole, I believed she would hear me out, and we could live happily ever after, like in the chick flicks Esme and the girls watch. Those plans were crushed when it became painfully obvious my own family wouldn't let me in to clear things up.

That same night Carlisle showed up on my doorstep. Without saying a word, he headed to my study and helped himself to my Scotch. He poured a couple of fingers in a glass before he held the bottle up and raised his left eye brow in question. I shook my head at his offer.

"Does your phone not work?"

"Huh?"

"Your phone, Edward. We all tried to call you Saturday night… and last night too," he grumbled. "Now I have a house full of sad and pissed off women. I'm at a loss, Edward. For once I don't know what to do. You really screwed up."

"Is Bella alright?"

He barked out a humorless laugh and shook his head. "No, Edward, she's not. We had to schedule her an appointment with Dr. Felsley today."

I swam in guilt, knowing I was responsible for Bella needing to see her doctor.

"You can't go back to the house," Carlisle said, swirling his drink.

I looked at him in shock. I knew I messed up, but I never imagined there would be a day I wasn't welcomed home. I knew if I got Bella to see me, I could convince her that I loved her. I could make her see that we fit.

Seeing the look on my face, Carlisle huffed and said, "What did you expect? You hurt her, Edward! Just stay away from the house. Emmett won't hesitate to knock you out. You know how he is when someone upsets any of the Cullen women. Son, you upset all of them. We'll get together this week to talk, and for God's sake leave your phone on."

After turning my phone back on, I spent an hour on the internet looking up the meaning of flowers, and another hour trying to decide if sending her purple hyacinths, since it meant, "I'm sorry," was too cheesy.

I sent them.

A week later it was Rose that showed up on my doorstep. She didn't greet me. Hell, she didn't even take off her jacket.

She stood in my living room and said, "Did you force her to do something she wasn't ready for?"

Her question floored me, so after blinking a few times, I said, "What? Are you asking if I—"

"Yes, Edward. I'm asking if you pushed her too far. I'm asking because no one else will. They refuse to believe it can happen, but I see women everyday who are victimized by someone they know."

"I didn't do that. I wouldn't do that," I gritted out.

She pursed her lips. Then after a minute of sizing me up, her posture relaxed and she slid off her jacket. Walking to the couch, she draped it over the arm and said softly, "Why did you leave like that?"

I ran my hands over my face and thought back to that night in Seattle. Bella's body felt perfect against mine. I had pulled her closer as our tongues stroked each other. She tasted sweet, and my body responded when she started sucking on my tongue. With Bella naked, wet and on her knees, my mind flew through so many fantasies that I had trouble separating them from reality.

I wanted to consume her. Take her on the floor and make her crazy with need and want. I wanted her to feel what I felt, and I needed to get lost in her. I craved her body beneath my own as I made her forget any man who had ever touched her.

When she said my name breathlessly, my eyes flew open, and I saw her flushed face and heavily lidded eyes. I was painfully aware of the hard tips of her nipples as our breathing caused them to rub against me. I wanted to close my eyes and continue kissing her senseless, but my mind went back to the other men.

Men who took her against her will in hotel rooms similar to the one we were in. I broke away from Bella and her sweet kisses. I didn't want to be like the others. I didn't want to give her a reason to compare me to them.

So I left.

I left her alone because she deserved better than being taken on the floor. She deserved to be worshiped, not claimed. To let it go any further would have been a mistake.

One we couldn't undo.

Rose listened to my reasons with a sad look on her face. When I was finished, she walked to the window overlooking the back of the property. "You know, there's a misconception that women who have been raped feel guilt and shame. That's not true for all of them. The truth is, reactions are as different as the women themselves. The way they cope can range from fear to anger. They could lash out physically or act composed and reserved even when talking about the trauma. Bella was never really ashamed of her sexuality like some of the other women because she knew she wasn't to blame. Something happened between you two and whatever it was has caused Bella to become more guarded. Alice has been banned from her closet, and she's not as outgoing as she used to be. She keeps her distance. I had to ask because she's withdrawn, and I miss her, Edward," she whispered.

I sent her flowers every week.

They were always purple hyacinths with another flower that meant beauty or love.

My days were filled working out in my gym or working on my music. I purchased a Steinway and spent hours playing pathetic, melancholy pieces. I sent some to Garrett and he called me, saying, "Muse is gone, huh?"

Sometimes I had dinner with a family member. It took two weeks for Alice to come around. We had an unspoken agreement. I didn't ask about Bella, and she didn't hit me. Dinner was tense and felt unnatural. Jasper was torn between not pissing off my sister and standing by my side as a supporting friend.

Usually I had lunch with Carlisle, Esme (when she finally forgave me), or Emmett and Jasper.

"How are you doing, man?" Emmett asked one day.

I missed my family, missed my home, and missed my Bella. I went through my daily routine, yet everyday I felt like my soul was dying. "Fine."

"So, you got a new Steinway," he said eyeing the piano.

I nodded my head. We were waiting for Jasper to join us, so we could go to a restaurant that wasn't Bella's diner. When did I start having small talk with my brother? We never did that.

I cleared my throat before saying, "I heard about Royce."

Emmett's proud smile told me he was indeed responsible for the legal troubles King was having. I didn't feel sorry for him; fucker had it coming.

"Yep, tax evasion is a bitch. He'll probably serve time, and when he gets there, I might mention his fondness for forced sex to a guy who did a tour with me. He works in the system."

I thought about the nasty surprise waiting for Royce and tried not to smile. He deserved so much worse. I was a little surprised at how differently this made Emmett look in my eyes. He was always an honorable man, and this new side of him almost scared me. Then I realized, with Royce in prison, Bella would be safe. My brother was my fucking hero.

"She's angry."

I sighed and looked at him. It felt like all the guys blamed me for anytime their women got pissed. After weeks of being their whipping boy, I was getting tired of it.

"Bella," he said. Her spoken name demanded my full attention. I had tried unsuccessfully to get information on my angel, but my family was completely loyal to Bella and therefore tight-lipped around me.

"She's been spending a lot of time at the center."

I raised my eyebrow, willing him to continue, but I didn't want to say anything because I was afraid he might remember whom he was talking to. I was treating him like a wild animal, not wanting to spook him.

Emmett ran both hands down his face and he took a deep breath before saying, "She's just so damn angry, Edward. She goes at the punching bag like it was the one that wronged her. I tried pulling her aside to tell her to take it easy but she won't listen. I think everything is finally hitting her. All the shit that she's been through."

Rose's words about victims lashing out came back to me. There was a pain in my chest when I thought about my beautiful goddess in turmoil. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be okay. "Is she taking her anger out on the family?"

His head snapped in my direction and he said, "What? No. She's just scary good at the fighting techniques I've shown her. I can't spar with her because she doesn't hold back anymore. Little hellcat can do some serious damage. As for the family, she's still keeping her distance. I think she feels bad about making us choose between the two of you."

I nodded my head because that sounded like Bella.

"She's going for her GED next month," he said with a big grin. "She's seeing the tutors Esme has at the center. I think she'll do well."

Hearing that caused a swirl of emotions to stir in me. On one hand, she was moving on with her life—bettering it like she should. She was more productive than I was, and it left me feeling more pathetic than I was already feeling. Still, I was so fucking proud of her.

I smiled and said, "And her cooking?"

"Oh yeah. Laurent came to town two weeks ago. If she's not at the center, she's at his home, baking away. We've all been helping out in the kitchen for dinner. That way she's not sick of cooking. It's not going well, man. Some nights I damn near envy you," he said with a grimace.

I tried to hold back a laugh, but that fucker came out anyway. He gave me as shove as he laughed and said, "It's not funny, bro. Last night Rose burned the roast, and when I couldn't eat it, she told me I was sleeping on the couch. Not only did I not get to eat, but I was in the dog house."

I was still clutching my side when I noticed Jasper pulling into the drive. "Come on. Let's eat; you must be starved."

"Before we leave, I need to tell you something," he said placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Yes, you can have my mint, Em," I said, jokingly.

"This is serious, Edward." My smile dropped at the shift his mood had taken. "Yesterday Mom saw something that spooked her. There was a man taking pictures outside the house."

He waved his hands toward me to calm my panic and said, "Let me finish. I took a look around and couldn't find any sign of him, but I wanted to make sure you had a heads up. Don't approach him if you see him, Edward. I know you, and I know you would do something rash and stupid like that. All I'm asking is that you give me a call. Let me take care of it. Do you understand?"

He wasn't speaking to me like a brother. He was a Marine giving an order, and no matter how badly I wanted to do things my way, I knew he was right.

I gave him a nod and we went out with Jasper. I couldn't enjoy lunch. My thoughts were on the threat to my family. Emmett's phone rang, dragging me away from my thoughts on the mysterious photographer.

"Hey White, what's up?" he said before wiping his mouth with his napkin. He looked at me with alarm and said, "Excuse me, guys. I need to take this call."

After Emmett's bizarre exit, Jasper turned to me and said, "How are things goin', Edward?"

I shrugged my shoulders. He knew how miserable I was. There was no point in bitching about things.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry how things turned out," he said, offering me a sad smile.

"It's not your fault. I'm the one who screwed up," I said with another shrug.

"Edward, it's not your fault. You did the right thing. You respected Bella enough to wait. She'll see that in time. She's just getting her life in order and working things out right now. Once she works through everything, she'll come find you."

I snorted and tried not to let hope build that Bella would take me back. "You forgot that the family still hates what I did, and I'm not exactly welcomed home."

He sat there, picking his words carefully before saying, "Edward, you know the family doesn't hate you, right?"

"What about the locks on the door?"

"Esme had them changed. She was worried that Bella would take off. She wanted to leave Washington completely. She felt we were picking sides and that she was tearing the family apart. The locks were Esme's way of letting her know she could feel safe at the house. Unfortunately, safety meant giving her space from you to work through what happened."

"I understand why Esme did what she did, but I'm pretty sure Alice hates me," I said, shaking my head.

He sighed and said, "Alice doesn't hate you. She hates that things have changed between her and Bella. You just happen to be easy to blame. We miss you, Edward. Things will work out. Just keep doing that thing with the flowers. It's nice to see Bella smile."

Maybe Jasper was right.

Maybe thing would get better; I just had to wait.

One thing I had no doubt about was Bella was definitely worth the wait.

I had just ended a call with the florist when the doorbell rang. I trudged toward the door, tired and ready to tell whoever was on the other side to fuck off because my bed was calling to me.

When I opened the door, I had to blink my eyes a couple of times.

Bella.

She stood there, nibbling on her lip, waiting for me to invite her in. Of course, me being the ass that I was, I stood there gawking at her. She gave a dainty cough, and I wondered if it was too cold outside for her.

She shouldn't be outside, dumbass.

I opened the door and moved to the side so she could come in. As she walked by, her scent hit me, and I blinked away the tears I felt pooling in my eyes. She looked and smelled better than I remembered, and I wondered if she came back for good because I didn't know if I could survive it if she told me she never wanted to see me again.

She stopped in the foyer and spun around. Wanting to give her space, I backed up a little and leaned against the front door.

"Why? I need to hear from you why you left. Was it me? Was it something I did or said?" she asked while pointing to herself.

The fact that she felt any responsiblity for the way things went down had me approaching her slowly. She had to have felt the reaction my body had to her that night.

I carefully cupped her cheek and willed her to open her beautiful, brown eyes. There were shadows under them, and I knew I wasn't the only one not getting a full night's sleep. When I was finally gifted with the deep chocolate I dreamed of every night, I said, "No, Bella. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry if my actions caused you pain because that's what I wanted to avoid. I left because, I couldn't control myself. We were in that hotel room and I didn't want our time to be tainted with memories caused by those lowlifes."

I saw her flinch when I mentioned the vile fuckers who haunted her dreams. I ran my thumb across her skin before saying, "Hey, none of that. You deserve better than that, and everything was moving too fast. Bella, it was a mistake to let things get carried away. God, Bella, I love you." Her eyes widened at my declaration, but I went on, afraid that I might never get another chance to tell her my feelings. "You are the bravest, most beautiful woman that I have ever had the fortune of meeting. How could I not feel the way I do for you? I want you in ways that might scare you, but, Bella, I could never hurt you the way those men did. You deserve to be cherished and loved. If things went on that night, it would have been frenzied and rushed, and I could never forgive myself if I hurt you."

She stepped away from me, and my heart crumbled.

I pushed too hard. Said too much.

"Do you really mean that? You love me?" she asked in a tiny, hopeful voice.

I looked at the silly, beautiful woman before me and tried to fight my smile. Her adorable trademark blush made her wide eyes sparkle. I bared my heart, confessing how I wanted to ravage her, and all she heard was my declaration of love and still had doubts. I wanted to take her into my arms and show her how much I loved her, but I held still.

"Yes," I whispered. "I love you."

She nibbled on her lip and whatever she was thinking made her blush even harder. Finally after an unbearable silence, she said, "Edward, would you like to come over to dinner tomorrow night?"

A/N: I'm going to be honest. This chapter was depressing to write. Thanks for hanging on. It will get better.

Are you mad at how the Cullens handled things like my pre-reader was? Are you interested in the call Emmett took and the photographer? Hmmm…