A/N: There's more heavy material here but I promise it's all for a purpose. Enjoy!
CELICA'S POV
As we exited the town, I noticed that the captain had not retracted his hand yet though we left the yells and noise of the town square behind us a while ago. I wasn't going to complain though. My body screamed at me to move but I knew that moving would only provoke only louder screams in my bones. Especially since it was the captain's warm touch and blissful scent that numbed my mind at the moment. I was too content in the moment to care about much else. Sleep drifted in from the corners of my eyes, threatening to conquer me once again. I shut my eyes for what seemed like only a moment before hearing someone calling out my name.
"Celica?" The voice beckoned. I opened my eyes slowly, my gaze blurry.
"Celica?" I heard it again. I shifted my head in the direction of the voice and blinked a few time to see Hanji standing beside the horse, Petra next to her. "Can you walk?" She asked holding a hand out for me.
"I think so." I murmured softly, taking her outstretched hand as sleep still fogged my mind. My ribs protested greatly with every move and breath I made as I gingerly lifted my leg over the horse. The captain's hand steadied my shoulders for a moment before I slid off, crashing into Hanji as a loud groan of pain emanated from me. Petra and her pulled an arm over each of their shoulders and helped me to my feet.
"We've got it from here, Levi." She spoke, Captain Levi nodding in response.
"I'll be back to check on her. I've got some thing that need taken care of first though." He stated before taking back off on his horse.
My gaze followed him as he rode off before I was slowly ushered into headquarters and into one of the smaller infirmaries. It only held a couple of single beds and the necessary medical supplies. Why didn't they take me to the regular medical bay like I thought they would have? I wondered absentmindedly. They laid me gently on one of the beds, the pain wrenching me from my dream like haze.
"I need to check your injuries, Celica." Hanji stated with a soft voice, her face laced with concern. I could only nod as she slowly undid the straps of my gear, shimming it off my shoulders and around my waist before undoing the buttons of my shirt. Blood pooled beneath my skin in dark colored bruising as ran her fingers over each individual rib. I clenched my teeth in pain as she pushed against my side.
"Here. Bite on this." Petra offered, holding a thick leather strap in front of me. She placed it in my mouth and I bit down on it hard as Hanji continued her examination. I wanted to holler out in pain and I felt the leather give slightly as my teeth bore down on it with a crushing bite but that didn't stop the groans and whimpers from escaping. Just the screams.
After what seemed like forever, Hanji finally stopped and sighed next to me.
"Three fractured ribs on your left while two on your left are even more bruised than before. You surely did a number on yourself. You won't be able to train for a good while until these heal." She informed. Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes and I forced my head back into the pillow behind my head, groaning in frustration. I let the leather fall from my mouth, seeing the deep teeth marks engraved in it.
"It's my own damn fault." I stated, turning my head away from the two. "I was damned no matter which decision I made." My words were threatened to be choked back by the sobs that collected in my chest. The physical pain hurt like hell but the emotional pain is what I figured finally broken me.
"Do you regret it?" Petra spoke up, giving me a serious face as I turned back to look at her. "Levi Heichou has a saying. 'The only thing we're allowed to do is to believe that we won't regret the choice we made'. "
I paused, looking up at her tentative eyes. Did I regret it? The question truly puzzled me. I felt my regret as soon as we met back up with the squad but when all was said and done, what was there left to regret?
"I saved Natasha from facing the same end as Mikael, at least I managed that much. How could I regret saving her life?" I questioned her back, hoping that my words were enough of an answer.
"Who knows? I've seen some messed up shit before. Everyone is different but all can be equally cruel. So I'll ask you again." Her tone turned darker, knelling beside the bed next to Hanji. "Do you regret saving Natasha's life?"
I had not yet seen this side of Petra until now and it slightly unnerved me. It reminded me that she was not just a bright and smiling face and cheerful laugh. She was a veteran of the worse kind. The type that had faced and witnessed the utter chaos that the titans repeatedly left in their wake. I clenched a fist into the white sheets beneath me before answering.
"No. I don't." I stated. Petra face turned into a small smile before standing, laying a hand on mine.
"Good. If you're still up for it, you can join us tonight for some drinks." She offered and a sad smile crept onto my face.
"Yeah. I think I could use a few good drinks." I turned my gaze back to Hanji as she casually looked over the rest of my body. "So how long will I be out for again?"
"Quite a few weeks. You might miss the next expedition depending on how your body heals itself. Erwin has already said though that he's pushing back the next one a few months. Give us time to recon more men before we set back out."
"That bad, huh?" Hanji nodded. "I didn't think it was that bad." I stated, attempting to sit up. Petra pushed me up by my shoulder and helped me remain upright, fresh pain coursing through my body.
"Luckily, your ribs are still in their natural spots so we just have to make you're bandaged properly so that it stays that way." Hanji explained, going to retrieve a few roll of bandages while Petra helped me open my shirt the rest of the way. Coming back, Hanji carefully wrapped the gauze around my ribs, holding them tight in place and making it slightly more difficult to breath than it already was.
"I can't always rely on people to carry me around. Any idea how I can still get around on my own?"
"Once you rest a little, you should be able to walk around if you take it slowly. Besides the obvious bruising, you aren't coughing up any blood and there don't seem to be any large pockets forming so there shouldn't be any real internal bleeding. And I mean it, Celica." She warned. "Take it easy and take it slow." I nodded slowly as she finished up the bandages.
Petra helped me onto my back again, buttoning up my shirt carefully and pulling the covers over me.
"I'll come get you in a few hours." She said before saying goodbye for now and leaving the infirmary. Hanji glanced over at the door and waited a moment before speaking again.
"I figured you didn't want to talk about in front of Petra so I'll ask it now. What exactly happened? Levi won't tell me the details." She spoke, grabbing a chair and placing it by the bed before crossing her arms as she sat back. A soft breath escaped me as I reviewed my memories again.
"The abnormal that got Mikael... Heichou told me not to go after it but when I heard Natasha scream, I went after it anyways. I told myself it wasn't for revenge, that it was for her sake. I didn't need another dead comrade on my consciousness. I made it up as I went, my first and only priority was getting her out of there and to safety. When she left on my horse though, it seemed like the world shifted. I wanted to kill that monstrosity and I tried. 'Tried' being the key word here. Levi Heichou stopped me mid flight and we hit the ground hard. That's when I felt my ribs break." I explained.
"Of course he was furious with me but he took down all those other titans and the abnormal without much as another thought. Even after lost it on him and screamed at him." I laid a hand over my face in shame. "After we started riding back, most of it's a haze. I fell unconscious at some point and woke up inside the walls before blacking out again. You should already know the rest."
Hanji was deep in thought for a moment before asking another question.
"And what's with you curled up into his chest?" I could feel the blush rise to my face but didn't have the strength to fully hide it.
"When I woke in the walls, the first thing I saw and heard were the townsfolk. The last five days felt like a dream until then and reality finally sank in. I don't know why he pulled me close like that and didn't let go for the longest while but... it kept me together until we got here at least."
Her face was both thoughtful and curious as I spoke. I could almost see the flicker of a mental connection occur behind her thick glasses as her face quirked into a puzzling look. She muttered something to herself but I couldn't understand what she was saying.
"Did it look that bad?" I asked cautiously. Hanji heaved another sigh and straightened up in her chair.
"It was odd, I'll say that at least. Levi isn't the type to offer physical contact on most occasions from what I remember so it's just... puzzling. Maybe that bastard is finally going soft." She stated, a small gleam entering her eyes.
"Perhaps not quite but... I don't know." I remarked, unsure on how to dwell on the prolonged contact between us.
I stared up at the ceiling for a moment before Hanji stood up from her chair.
"Get some rest. You need it." She said, her usual tone of voice returning suddenly. I nodded and watched her carefully as she left the room. Sleep came back over me surprisingly easy as I worked the covers a little higher over me and I slipped into a blissful dream.
HANJI'S POV
Though I had left the infirmary, I stood guard outside the door. Part of me deep in thought and the other half waiting for Levi to return. I had quite a few questions for him as well.
I sat next to door for quite a while, losing track of time and eventually briefly falling asleep until the sound of footsteps stirred me. Levi was headed for the infirmary freshly showered and in his casual sweater and pants.
"You sure took your time getting here." I stated while standing back up, noting a stray drop or two that fell from his damp hair. "You never are in such a rush that you leave your room with wet hair."
"Why didn't you take her to medical bay instead like all the other soldiers?"He ignored my own question by throwing one of his own while giving me a blank look, his hands tucked away in his pockets.
"Privacy, for one." I informed. "Also I doubt she could rest easy with moans of dying soldiers surrounding her."
"So you've been here the entire time, making me waste time look for you?" He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking back up at me. "Don't you have your own duties to attend to like normal after an expedition?"
"It can wait. I've got some questions for you before hand." Levi made an annoyed sound before narrowing his eyes at me.
"Always in other people's business, Shitty Glasses." He remarked, his eyes suddenly softening a little before continuing. "How is Valkihar?"
"Resting last I checked. Three ribs are at least fractured and two are badly bruised on the other side." I informed. "I'm surprised you guys only managed to break three considering how fast you had to be flying." I was a flash of emotion move through his eyes and in an instant it was gone again.
"Keep your equally shitty remarks to yourself, Freak." He warned, narrowing his eyes once more before attempting past me and into the infirmary. I shoved myself in front of him, stopping him in his tracks.
"Not so fast, I'm not done with you yet. I still wanna know why all of sudden you're holding her all close and familiarly." Levi eyed me carefully. I knew I was overstepping my bounds on this but it I was dying to know why it was Celica of all people that this was happening to.
"You know the well being of my soldiers come first. When she lost consciousness, I had to move her up front in the saddle to keep under on the horse. When she woke up in the wall, I had to keep her from falling apart in front of everyone. Something in her snapped and if she suddenly lost it then it would have only aggravated her injuries further. Enough said." He explained plainly, masking a darkness over his eyes as he spoke.
I let his words sink in for a moment, my train of thought derailing into something much more shocking.
"Levi, did something happen between you two without me around?" I asked suggestively.
"I have no idea what in the world you're talking about." He insisted.
"Then let me blunt." I stated, taking a step towards him to stare him down with unwavering certain eyes. "You hate human contact. You cringe at the slightest filthy thing that comes near you. Yet you held her so closely after five days in the field while she was covered in dirty, sweat, and titan blood with a straight face, cradling her like a broken doll."
"Because she is broken." He spat lowly in a defensive tone. "She's wrecked inside and out. A complete and filthy mess. Erwin entrusted her training and well being to me and I can not just watch her crumble in front of me."
My eyebrows quirked up for a moment before my face straightened out.
"That hasn't stopped you before. There's another reason that you aren't telling me." I accused him. He swung a leg towards my head and I quickly blocked, catching the kick with my arm as my other hand grabbed his ankle, struggling against his strength.
"Dammit Levi, just spit it out already." I spat at him. His eyes glazed over before he let out a frustrated groan, pulling his leg back reluctantly and setting both feet firmly on the ground.
"She's pitiful to see. It hurts just to watch her at times." He stated, down casting his face. "I remember what it felt like to be that broken. Don't you?" He questioned, moving me aside to enter the infirmary and leaving me alone in the hall in shock.
He actually admitted it. I saw and heard it but I didn't want to believe it. That right there, was as close as a confession of attraction that I would probably ever get out of him.