Thanks for reading/reviewing, i appreciate it so much, continue to do so if you can :)

Im apologising about the angsty-ness (also about my bad grammer) i promise things get better, im sort of a storm before the calm type of girl, as opposed to calm before the storm. I dont think that if i were to write the story and everything was all happy, and just fell into place, that it would be at all realistic, but please just bear with me :)

Chapter 19.

Bella POV.

"Bella…lets talk." Alice stated, in a tone that was a little more blunt than usual.

"ALICE!…you scared me, but I'm glad you're here, why weren't you in school today? I missed you, and yeah we should talk, lets talk." I said smiling at her, something which was just habitual now.

"About last night-"

I hopped on to the bed excitedly and wrapped my arms around her, cutting her off, but I had been waiting all day to do it. She removed my arms from around her, and pushed herself off of the bed, settling into the chair in the corner.

I looked up at her, confused.

"Alice?"

" Please Bella just listen, let me explain some things."

"Okay." I replied, giving her a small nod.

She cleared her throat, and her eyes were focused on mine.

"Last night, it was about timing. I came back to forks, when I thought you had died…and we'd had very little time to even begin to thoroughly process all of our feelings about everything, then we ended up rushing off to Italy to save Edward, and that whole experience well it wasn't pleasant to say the least, we were faced with death, and then we got out, alive-"

I saw her swallow deeply, her face was unreadable.

"-and we got back, and we hadn't spoken about the events that transpired prior to us going. We didn't have a chance to, and emotion's were running unbelievably high, like they hadn't been already they were especially elevated by this stage…and I think that all of the unspoken emotion's and feelings, got the best of us…and I think that's why, what happened last night, happened."

I looked up at her, extremely confused, not understanding why she said or even thought that.

"Alice…what are you saying?"

"Bella, we just after everything that had happened in such a short space of time, we were both glad to see each other, and we manifested that in…a physical act of love."

I couldn't quite form any words, I was trying to get them out, but it wasn't working very well. I took a deep breath.

"Alice, no that's not what…that's not why-"

"Bella, I was glad to see you alive, and I hadn't had a chance, to adequately express that, and then after our brush with the Volturi, I think that feeling was elevated even more, because I love you, but not…like that."

For the first time, her eyes dropped to the ground, and she sighed deeply.

does she really mean all of this, a couple of hours ago, everything was fine and now…this?

I noticed the cold streaks of tears running over my skin, I hadn't even realised I was crying, and my chest was heaving, I could feel all of the oxygen leaving my lungs.

"Alice no…it wasn't like that, not at all….and this morning, you said- and last night…and before Italy…and you-"

I could feel myself begin to hyperventilate, and stutter and everything I wanted to say wouldn't come out, it was all too much, I gave in and just began to sob.

"Bella, please don't cry… we just analysed our emotions too much…or not enough. Everything was just confusing, and it was down to all of the conflicting emotions. That's what it was…just think about it…and you'll see-"

"NO! It wasn't like that, it was not like that, not for me…and I know Alice, I know that it wasn't like that for you, don't even begin to try and say it was like that." I practically screamed at her.

She paused, looking up at her, I could see the pained expression on her face. She was lying or making excuses…I don't know what, she didn't mean it she couldn't of meant it.

"You didn't mean it Alice, tell me you didn't mean it-"

"Bella."

"Don't do that, don't do that, do not try and patronise me right now, I can hear it in your voice - please Alice…just tell me, please, say it, I need to her you say it." I began begging her between cries, and shallow breaths.

She got up, her eyes fixed firmly in front of her.

"Edward's coming, he's back early." she said.

"I don't want to keep hurting you Bella…just..im going to-"

"Alice-" I cut her off, my voice broken and raspy, from the burn of the cries.

"I need you to tell me…that you were just…I don't know what…just please." I continued, pulling my arms around my torso, my eyes straining to stay open, my throat so tight that I could barely inhale.

"-Edwards coming….and-"

"I don't care if Edward Is coming, I mean it just tell me, okay, you have to…please, please…please." my voice broken, even I could hear the defeat in my tone.

Alice turned to face the window, she had begun breathing deeply, not that she needed to breath.

"He's almost here Bella, I have to go, not just right now but-" she turned toward me, and walked over, she took my hand in hers, gripping it softly, using the back of her fingers, she pushed the tears away from my eyes, and looked into them. Her eyelids closed softly, her lips parted slightly and she placed a kiss on my lips, before I had the chance to kiss back, she moved her face and pushed it into my neck. Then she was gone.

The window was left open, the wind that had been so warm and pleasant earlier on, now felt bitter and icy. I felt my heart sink into my stomach, and I fell onto my side against the matress, and I couldn't do anything but cry into my comforter.

I was sure I heard something, after she was gone, she said something but I didn't hear it. I don't know what, I'll ask her…because we will talk about this properly and she will listen to me, not now right now, her word's were still swirling endlessly in my mind, and I will cry all the pain they left, out.