SILENT HEIST

20 DECEMBER WEDNESDAY

During the day, James and Sirius took turns cracking the crack-a-tooth. Starting in the morning, and continuing during the day when they could get away with it. It was very monotonous, and very habit forming.

They didn't know why they did it, they hadn't been asked to and as far as they knew there was absolutely no point to it.

"It just never ends, does it?" said James in the afternoon, sitting on his bed, crunching away. "Is the game that it doesn't end?"

"That's the way of Russian nuts I am told," said Sirius. "Somewhere in there is a very tiny grandmother, with an even tinier nut."

"And somewhere in this nutcracker doll," James was down to a matchstick sized one, "is a nutcracker doll so small we'll need a microscope to find it." Crunch. There was no telling how long they'd be doing this for.

Sirius picked up one of his cats and began to groom him.

"When Mrs Rusnikova got her first grandchild, she could unscrew herself at the waist, and inside, was a smaller Mrs Rusnikova."

"Who is Mrs Rusnikova?"

"Err..."

"The supply drama teacher from Moscow?"

"Yes."

"I saw that. That was cool."

It was past four and already dark, nearly pitch black outside the window.

"I think I'll get started on some of that homework actually," said James, putting away nutcracker and nut. "Even if we don't need to hand anything in until next year."

"Can I have a go at cracking the nut?" Peter asked.

"No you can't it's too dangerous," said Sirius.

"It's not dangerous," said James. "I for one don't undestand what's so dangerous about it."

"You have to get perfect halves."
"The first ones don't have to be perfect halves. I for one have cracked lots of not perfect halves."
"Then you are a menace and a danger."

"As have you, as have Moony. Nothing's happened. Only the final shell has to be cracked in perfect halves."

And so Peter got to have a go at cracking the nut. When Sirius was done grooming the cats that were currently indoors, he, too, got started on some of that homework. He knocked his ballet shoes off his bed to make room.

"Are they your ballet shoes?" James asked.

"Yup."

"Is it some glam thing?"

"David Bowie wore ballet shoes on Top of the Pops, that's why."

Tonight was a fullmoon night. The average person couldn't tell a fullmoon from an extremely waxed gibbous. Then there were times when the fullmoon appeared to hang in the sky all day, that could be confusing.

But thankfully, the chaps needed not concern themselves with the astronomical fullmoon, only the magic fullmoon. And the magic fullmoon only lasted for one hour after midnight on every fullmoon night. That was all there was to that.

James and Sirius weren't terribly inspired to get up to any mischief. So they merely passed the hours listening to the radio and playing 20 questions until it was time to leave. James got off the floor.

"Shall we?"

"Sure."

"How cold is it? Will I need my coat?"

"I'm doing layers. It's the way to isolate."

"Well you got natural muffs but your backside is all skin and ass pom poms."

"My backside is not all skin and ass pom poms I don't know who's backside you've been looking at."

"You should probably wear ass warmers."

"You should probably wear a bag."

They were dressed and ready to go when they found that Peter was nowhere to be seen. James looked in the bathroom, he wasn't there either.

"Where did he go then?"

"Probably chickened out. I don't think he ever wanted this."

"Oh well."

They'd manage anyway. They could grab a stick, they could grab Shishi the Kappa, they could even grab Sirius the toy poodle.

Which James secretely hoped because he was seriously so cute it hurt.