So Jason and Holly got quite a reaction from you guys last chapter. Some people loved, some people didn't mind it and others weren't so keen. Thank you all for giving me feedback on that. Their relationship will not be plain sailing at all and whilst I personally would like to see Jason and Holly become a couple on the show in the future (not now anyway), these two together will not necessarily be a good thing.
I think this chapter is one of the biggest, because it's a complete game-changer (in my mind anyway, I'll let you all decide on that) and I'm really excited for you all to read it.
"So Jason's been doing this since he broke his hand right?" Lindsey asked Joe, trying to create a clear picture in her head.
"That's what we reckon. The oldest insulin in his drawer dated back to that anyway. Why do you ask?"
"Sometimes, mental illnesses," she shot Joe an apologetic look as the words left her mouth, but it was the only she could explain what she was thinking. "Are triggered by something. They're always there, but one little things sparks them off. Maybe, breaking his hand was Jason's initial trigger."
"But breaking his hand? Seems a bit excessive?"
"Well it was certainly a stressful time for Jason. He'd just completed his first year of a-levels and then was uprooted from his home, had to leave all his friends behind and basically had to start again, at the most difficult time of his life. We all know how nervous he was when he was starting school. Breaking his hand, could of, made it all hit home?"
Joe nodded, mulling over her words. "And he couldn't let it all out through boxing, that really helped him when he was stressed."
Lindsey shot up, making links in her head and connecting the dots. "He couldn't exercise of course, couldn't burn the... and he has lost... So he couldn't – Joe was Jason ever... chubby?"
"He had some puppy fat when he was around eleven, but it all went when he started growing and did a bit more exercise, like with most kids. Why?"
"I think I might know what's been up with him."
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Holly and Jason pulled apart, looking every bit like a love-struck couple. "Wow." Holly laughed breathlessly at Jason's analysis of the what had just happened.
"Yeah, wow." They didn't talk for a moment, just basking in each other and what had happened between them.
The moment ended when Jason came crashing down to reality, unable to believe what he had just done. He went to pull away, cheeks flushing furiously "I'm so sorry," he began apologising. "I didn't mean-"
"Wait what?" Holly asked, too stunned to form proper sentences. This wasn't the reaction she had been expecting, especially from the guy who had made no secret that he was interested in her for the last few months. Was she too late? Had she spent too long being cold and distant and had therefore ultimately lost her chance, the moment she realised what a good thing she could have.
"I know you're not interested, I shouldn't of pushed and-"
"Woah, stop right there," Holly said sternly, pulling Jason back close, so there was no way he would or could misunderstand. "I initiated that kiss okay. Not you, but me. I kissed you because I wanted and actually I would very much like to do so again. If that is okay with you?"
Jason dumbly nodded, unable to believe his luck. After the day from hell, he'd been fully expecting Holly to slap him hard and tell him never to come near her again, but this? Well he'd never thought in a million years that this could happen.
"What does this mean? For us that is," he finally said, feeling nervous as he waited for Holly to answer.
"Well normally when two people are interested in each other the way we are, they normally start this little thing called dating," Holly answered, her eyes sparkling playfully.
"Yeah?"
"Uhuh," she laughed, leaning into kiss Jason once more.
Before she could, Jason stopped her, his face mere centimetres away from hers. "So will you do the honour of being my girlfriend?"
Instead of answering the playful question, Holly closed the gap between them, the pair passionately kissing before she pulled back. "Does that answer your question?"
"You mind repeating it, I might have misheard," Jason teased, smiling as Holly giggled and lightly hit him on the arm. They stay huddled in the freezing alleyway for a few more moments, simply enjoying one another's presence, before Holly went to reluctantly leave, the cold becoming too much for her.
Jason sighed, knowing what he was going to say was going to effectively ruin the mood. "Can I stay at yours tonight? No funny business or nothing, it's just I can't go back home. Not tonight." He went onto say when he felt the blonde stiffen.
"They seem really worried though. Are you sure?"
"Just leave it yeah," Jason snapped, unable to control his temper. The guilt was instant, flooding through him as Holly visibly recoiled. "I'm sorry Hol. I haven't had the best of nights." She smiled, looking up at him through her eyelashes. Not saying a word, she took hold of his hand and led him out of the alleyway, towards the flat.
"Cindy's not in so don't worry," she told him as she shrugged her shoes off. "Want to watch a movie, you've always loved horror right?"
"Yeah okay," Jason smiled, touched that she had remembered their conversation from so long ago.
"Well, I'll get the popcorn and I'll even let you choose," she said, directing him to the surprisingly large DVD collection, before she went to the kitchen. Jason picked a film out fairly quickly and placed the disc into the DVD player, half watching the adverts as he waited for Holly to return.
"We only had sugar," she told him as she came back, bowl in hand. "Is that okay with your diabetes?"
"It's fine. Is The Grudge ok?" Jason said, shrugging off the popcorn question with ease. Even now, when he was moments away from spending the night with someone he had adored since he had moved up to Hollyoaks Village, there was always part of his mind purely focused on losing weight.
It made him feel sick even thinking about it, but it was simply second nature now. Any extra sugar in his system, without any insulin to combat it sped up the weight-loss process, even if it was incredibly dangerous.
"Ah, a personal favourite," Holly said, pressing play as she next to Jason, resting her head on his shoulders. They had only been watching it for ten minutes, though Jason had spent more of his time watching the girl next to him, fondly smiling as she jumped at every turn.
"I thought this was a favourite?" he asked when she almost threw the popcorn in the air for the third time.
"That doesn't mean it's still not scary," she pouted, letting Jason take the bowl from her to place it on the coffee table, though she refused to let his other hand out of her grasp. When he sat back, the couple simply stared at each other, the movie completely forgotten. Once more they leaned into a kiss and it was just as fantastic (if not more) than it had been in the alleyway.
"I'm not going to break," she growled at Jason as he remained careful, not daring to do even half of what he wanted, moving so she was sat on him, both of her legs on either side.
It was enough of an incentive for him (he was still a teenage boy, he had needs!) and they began fighting for dominance, neither willing to let the other win. They only broke free to catch their breath, panting loudly, though as they were doing so, Holly began unbuttoning her blouse, revealing her lacy bra.
Before she shook her top off, she moved to do the same to Jason, though he instantly froze, the mood ruined for him as he realised what would come next. She'd see him. She'd see the bountiful collection of cuts on both of his forearms (he'd had to move to the right just the other day when he realised his left was out of room).
She'd see all the fat, suffocating his bones and taking over him. He couldn't let that happen. She'd only just let him in (and how he'd managed that he had no clue), he was not going to ruin it by revealing what a fat fucker he really was and scaring her rightfully off.
"Not tonight," he soothed when he saw the hurt look on her face.
"You're quite the gentleman," she said instead, masking the pain with an air of amusement, pulling her top around her.
"Don't you know it," he quipped, gaining a real laugh from her as the pair turned back to the film.
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"I think I know what's up with Jason," Lindsey started. She had gathered all the others into the living room, knowing she'd only have the strength to be able to say this once. "Or, I think I do."
"What is it?" Robbie asked, eager to hear any theories that might explain what was up with his twin, no matter what they were.
"When I was training to be a doctor, I did a little bit into mental health, not a lot, but enough to notice the signs."
"Are you saying that Jase is mental?"
"Robbie," Sandy snapped, squeezing her son's hand when a pained look crossed over his face. She knew he was worried (they all were), and to hear something like that wasn't pleasant for anyone, though Sandy knew it would be best for Lindsey to finish before saying anything. "Just, let Lindsey talk okay."
Lindsey shot a weak smile at her future mother in law, before continuing with her theory "One of my placements took place in an eating disorder ward."
"But Jason can't have an eating disorder," Freddie said sharply, ignoring Sandy's prior warning. "We see him eating all the time, that can't be it."
"There are many types of ED's though. What you're thinking of, is anorexia, but for many of them, the person actually still eats, it's just their relationship with food is warped elsewhere."
"So he's making himself sick then?" Joe blanched, asking questions more on autopilot than anything else.
"I don't think so." Lindsey admitted, trying to think of what to say as well as she could. "When I was on my placement there was a girl who was admitted and she was a diabetic like Jason. To lose weight, she still ate, but she restricted her insulin, sometimes going days without a dosage."
"But that's suicidal," Sandy gasped, shocked that someone would go those lengths and scared that her baby may be doing the same thing.
"It would make sense though. He must have lost at least two or three stone recently and with all that insulin you guys found, it certainly seems like he's been seriously restricting. From what I've gathered, he used to have that usual layer of puppy fat you get when he was a kid, though I bet it appeared when he started taking his insulin for the first time.
"He gained the weight because he had more insulin in his system than his body was used to and he wasn't burning this extra energy via enough exercise. When he started boxing however, he was doing enough to burn off the energy and became a healthy weight once more. I think when he broke his hand, it was all triggered and the memories of what happened last time came flooding back. Maybe, Jason stopped taking his insulin, so he wouldn't gain weight again."
"Nah," Ziggy said adamantly, shaking his head, unable to believe what he was hearing. "Jason wouldn't do that, he ain't stupid. And he certainly wouldn't do it after he fell into a coma inside Browning's car. Anyone remember that?"
"Yeah, if he stopped taking his insulin when he broke his hand, he'd have fallen into a coma ages ago," Freddie argued. Sure he wanted to know what was wrong with his brother, but sometimes the truth was really too hard to handle.
"Not if he was just restricting," Sandy realised, speaking up for the first time, seeing that there was logic in what Lindsey was saying, wishing desperately that it wouldn't be true. "By reducing to half the amount of insulin he needs lets say, there's not enough in his system to keep the weight on and he's still putting himself at risk of going blind or having a stroke, but he is preventing himself from landing in hospital."
"Well, until a few days ago anyway." Freddie reminded them grimly.
"So he does have an eating disorder then?" Robbie asked Lindsey, remembering that he had suspected the very thing only that morning, but had shaken the thought off.
"He'd have to have a proper psycho analysis, but I'd say so, it makes sense anyway. I'd even go so far as diagnosing it right now. It's unofficially called diabulimia, but as of yet it's not a properly acknowledged eating disorder in medicine, so doctors would say he has an EDNOS. An eating disorder not otherwise specified."
The room was silent as every member of the family tried to wrap their head around the fact, that one of their own was putting himself at serious risk to lose weight, and had been so consumed by it, it was now taking over his life.
"What do we do now?" Robbie asked, his voice gruff as he tried to keep a lid on his emotions.
"We help him." Sandy said sternly, looking to everyone. "He is suffering at the moment, and we have to do everything we can to help him get better."
"That's all well and good, but we can't do anything until we find Jase," Freddie said dryly, though he looked like he didn't want to do anything more than get up and start searching the streets.
"He's fine," Robbie said, looking down at his phone, before showing the others the text he had just recieved.
J's with me, don't worry he's fine, doesn't want to go home though.
I'll get him over tomorrow.
Holly x
Despite the dire situation, Ziggy couldn't help but let out a low wolf-whistle, muttering "Go Jase," under his breath, yelping as a flurry of cushions were flung at him.
… Like I said, a game-changer. So the others now know, or this is their latest suspicion (although as we know, it's the right one). I hope I didn't make Lindsey working it out too abrupt or sudden, but I've always had it in my mind that she would be the one to fully connect the dots and I think that if I left it a bit later on, the story would start dragging and become repetitive.
There's still a lot more to come obviously and I hope you guys all enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review and tell me what you thought.