Finally, chapter 18 is up and ready to read! You guys do not want to know how many times I had to change what I was going to do with this chapter! Sorry about the ending, it's kinda sad, my eyes actually starting watering up when I wrote it, but I hope you guys like it anyways! 19 is next, WOOHOO!
Enjoy~
Chapter 18: Change a Heart, Change the World
"Why did he do all of those things to those innocent little Digimon? What has become of my CeCe-kun?" A Digimon about the size of a teenager my age lay on her back in course, rich brown dirt, one oddly fingered hand over the left side of her chest, right above where her heart would be. Her other metallic-fingered, chrome and black hand reached up to touch her face, her bruised, cut face. But the cuts were no ordinary scraps…her mouth was like that of the Slit-Mouth Woman, the corners torn on each side to reveal the black shadows within her mouth and her shiny pearl teeth. Not only that, but her pale skin was tainted by a lightning bolt-similar mark, running from her depression-struck face, emblazed upon her cheek for the sheer pain of remembering her long-gone love. "Why did he do this to me? CeCe didn't have to harm anyone…Didn't he know that I…that I…loved him…?" Pain banged like a trapped buffalo through her blood, the distraction causing her fingers to slip and cut her own nose, though her power just allowed it to heal in a matter of seconds. She could only wish the ability would comply with a figurative heart.
"I don't think he could remember, broken spirit, for the knowledge of his great power was too much for him to control, and it drained the strength of his feelings for you, like it does to many hearts. It is sad, and hurts; I doubt that there will ever be a being that goes without feeling love's wonderfully agonizing sting," A gentle, compassion-stricken voice hurdled through the air like a gymnast: Graceful and tranquil. She moved as stated also, each step of her furry hound-feet landing exactly where meant to, not a millimeter out of place. As if one falsely positioned movement was enough to destroy the universe, and any world within it.
Black, white, gold, and chrome armor covered the newcomer's legs, hips, torso, and head, the symbol of the Moon Dweller Village upon her white-armored chest, the metal shimmering with a silvery appearance in the dimming light. A lengthy, black-magic, furry tail stuck out from underneath the thick protection on her back, the tip of it dipped in pure white to resemble the sparkling radiance of the light shining down from the moon, the two elements spinning and weaving together like two torn hearts mending themselves through the other's warmth.
Her face was blank and palely lit by the dull glow of the hidden sun, but concern, serenity, and a kind heart were bright like a persona in love within her ruby eyes. "I can understand how excruciating it is to lose someone, though the both of you remain alive. Safety will separate many, but a mission that cannot fail has gotten in the way of sentiment in my case…
"But the past will remain as is for as long as whomever it belongs to it to wish it, it is suicide to let it interfere any farther in the present than to teach you lessons, and suicide brings no future, as is evident in death. Realize this, dear child, you do not have to give in to the doubt within you, not yet, not without trying once more," The extraordinary Digimon's oddly feathered wings flapping absent-mindedly behind her as she extended her gloved hand, the box-like symbol also there, engraved into her palm in white-rimmed gold. "Take my hand; I can show you how to bring him back into the light of the true world in a way you wouldn't necessarily expect."
Looking deep within the blood-red gems studding the eyes of the being above her, the metallic young Digimon's ghostly blue eyes looked up with what one could call hope, but immediately it fell from her gaze like a human, tired of life, sick of the misunderstanding people, making a leap from the edge of a cliff, faith in the words of another life.
A happier ending.
Seeing the evident hesitation, the red-marked Digimon tried to smile reassuringly, kneeling down beside the unsure being, and placing her hand back by her side for the moment. "You know, beauty isn't really the appearance, though it is a part of it. True beauty is something no one can ever obtain, but…" She looked around warily, like she was expecting another to come up from the shadows to hear her words. Leaning close to the ear of the pained and confused feminine Digimon resting on the ground before her, she continued in a hushed whisper, that same serene smile on her lips, "I've seen it before. But only twice. You may not realize it, but you hold that trait. It is one thing that no one can take from you.
"The gentleman who holds my heart without knowledge of it, to this day, he is the only one I recall the face of when the word 'beautiful' is put into the air like an unexpected flurry. Eyes like his are quite difficult to come by, and when you find them, moreso find yourself locked in his gaze…the feeling…" She physically trembled, her cheeks heating like embers even thinking about the sensations she must've once felt. "It's nearly impossible to describe, but I think you may've felt this sensation within your veins before. The burn of the flame of the heart melting within your very ribcage…the hurt it brings you is intoxicating, one might call it…addicting…" The check-mark-red-haired Digimon stood again as the shell of a soul before her nodded, agreeing with a slight grin at the familiar sensation that most felt when they were with the one they'd searched their dreams for since the beginning of eternity.
"Have you…" The short-haired blonde chose her words carefully, thinking each syllable over as if speaking any one of them in a way other than what was meant would mean chaos. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly through her nose, courage filled the blue eyes, and her normal voice—powerful and laced with the bravery of her heart—broke through her doubt and the frozen silence of the steadily escaping day, "Have you still that offer?" A small grin crossed her face, even though it was difficult to see another expression due to the wound; she rose onto her feet, back straight and shoulders squared in the presence of a Digimon of the Starry One. If only she had realized this was the being she'd been speaking with, no other persona was similar to the heart of the Ancient of Moon.
The star jumper returned the gesture of expressions, and extended her hand to the now standing combatant. "It never left the air before your grasp, my scarred sister. But this offer comes with a promise, an oath, if you will. Before you become aware of my condition, you must be sure. No doubt must ever enter your heart or your mind, for it is not you alone who it will affect—
"WooWooooo! Chug-chug, chuggity chug!"
I groaned at the disturbance, curling in on myself and hoping to return to the dream of the two strange Digimon. I knew one, but the other's name still hadn't been revealed; it felt like I should know who that was, that she was of some kind of importance to me. But I couldn't recognize her face, or her voice. A scar like that across one's face would be practically impossible to forget, or even miss.
After a few seconds of chanting the last few lines spoken in the conversation of the dream over and over again in my head, I opened my eyes with a glum realization: That dream was not coming back tonight, or any other night. And that meant I wasn't going to be able to learn the name of the heart broken Digimon AncientRaiafemon had been so deep in conversation with. Or what that promise could've been.
The condition had to have been something about her doubting heart, but how could one heart affect another? You had to truly be two in one to be able to access that kind of ability. And it wasn't like just anyone could go around having a slight case of MPD; hearts or spirits had to bond, or flesh had to meet its match. But it wasn't like either event came without a consequence if not thought through properly. With a persona, you had to be cautious about who exactly your other self was, what was really inside their/your mind. A half-step in the wrong direction could send your control off the side of the road into the ditch, and the wheel controlling the movements of your body will be in the hands of someone who knows exactly what they're doing.
Flesh was different, very, very different. Whatever and whoever it was, it didn't matter; it always took time. It took bravery; it took a being willing to make the risks of shattering to be with the one they'd dreamed into life. There were a few special words for that kind of a predicamid, and they just seemed to get more and more cliché: Destiny, and love.
"For a human that doesn't believe in her own future, you blame many things on destiny's accord," My D-Tector sounded on the Trailmon bench beside me, the voice—for once—wasn't Ophanimon's, but Wereraiomon. Picking up the black and white device, Wereraiomon's furry face appeared on the screen, an expression apparently asking, 'Notice anything different about yourself today, Toshiku?' there on her face like I should've realized something by now. "Feel anything, human?"
…Dono yo na—Oh, holy kuso! I hurriedly gazed down at my legs; I couldn't believe it, I didn't believe it. There were blood stains on my pants and shirt, but that wasn't too hard to imagine; the difficult thing was that my hip wasn't shattered anymore, and my legs weren't torn up with acidic venom and serrated teeth marks. "It had to have been a dream, it had to have been a dream," I mumbled, mostly to convince myself that all of this was just plain ludicrous. There was no way in heaven, hell, or anywhere in between that anything or anyone could heal this fast. "JP must've snuck some kind of drug in the last thing I ate, whatever the hell it was…It's just—"
"Impossible?" Wereraiomon spoke the word with a laugh, she knew I used it often to describe something I couldn't comprehend. I embarrassment of being so predictable caused my face to redden slightly as I sat up a bit more, glancing down at my legs as she continued, "You should practice believing the impossible in this world, young one. I think you'd find living much easier if you didn't ponder on the impossible, and yet thought of it as possible. When you think of it like that, you'll realize that there is nothing that cannot happen. Nothing you cannot do.
"As for your wounds…they were no dream. Not even you, with a mind like you have, could imagine such a thing. You'd have to be big on those movies you call horror in your world to be able to think of something like that. Your actual dream, on the other hand…" Wereraiomon slid slowly into a silent state, her ears twitching lightly; I knew how powerful her senses were, but at the moment, I just wished she would clue me in or something. It would be the slightest bit helpful. Especially since no one was coming towards the empty train car we were residing in.
Her forest eyes narrowed slightly as she stared me down, almost checking to see if my whole body was what a normal human's should look like. As if there was something she could hear…inside of me. A creature of hatred and malice, moving around within my veins, taking over every red and white blood cell, every fiber of my heart, rewriting the desires of my very soul.
The voice. My muscles quivered at the thought of the chills her tone brought, and my body trembled at the remembrance of her anger when I refused to listen to her commands to take her to the Warriors, or face a consequence that would enrage more than anyone's fair share of hearts—even now I wondered what she meant. But was it possible that Wereraiomon could sense something was there, that something—or even someone—had passed through the barricade the elements of my friends had unknowingly made to keep Cherubimon out? The shields they held as they guarded my soul like I stood watch over theirs...was anything capable of surpassing them, the Legendary Warriors…the friends I'd had the longest since the fatality of my family?
"…Child…" The Digi-Wolf I held a special bond with through our spilt blood spoke carefully, like her words of concern were just another time bomb in my hand as soon as they were calculated and understood by my mess of a mind, and one too many would set them all off at once, destroying everything as the two of us knew it. She was treating me like I was a deranged lunatic lurking in the shadows of the night sky, bent on self-affliction, and just waiting for the perfect victim to grow one step too close. One inch too near their eternal torture. "…Don't misunderstand me. Your control…it isn't in your hands as much as you may wish it…But it…" She let out a small sigh, obviously not wanting to just come out and say what she thought it could be for fear of setting me off. She…She's…afraid…What does she see that I can't…? "It's not what you think, Toshiku. I'll watch her as long as I can, but…please, for AncientRaiafemon's sake…don't go near a—"
Suddenly the screen on my D-Tector went completely black, like total darkness but so much worse. Wereraiomon had seemed so spooked, and a Digimon like her had to be nearly impossible to shake; there was something I was supposed to be aware of…but what? "Wereraiomon? Wereraiomon?" I called out her name a few times as I hit any button on my D-Tector, be it one that I actually knew the purpose of or not. No reply; not even one little flash of static coming near my D-Tector. It was almost as if…something had taken the power from it…and whatever it was...I could still feel its presence.
I tightened my grip on my lifeless D-Tector, my knuckles turning white along with the rest of my skin as a chill pressed up against me, the electric sensation of skin against skin following it. Trembling and whimpering lightly in my fear, I wanted to run, I wanted to just get up and find someone to help me. My eyes widened like a deer in headlights when I realized something that spelled out 'kuso': Whatever was before me, giving me these feelings on the inside and outside…was holding me down with an unearthly strength.
For a moment, a flicker of a silhouette flashed across my vision, the apparent face of the being very close to my own…I could even feel its soft hair against my face if I concentrated hard enough. My heartbeat picked up rapidly again when I thought that maybe, just maybe, this thing hovering above me could be the owner of the voice. But I second guessed myself at the unexpected other feeling entering my system, almost as if someone were trying to explain another's behavior, by describing their own. Of everything I could've caught that made any sense to the English language, I got three words, all of them in different parts of its 'sense-speech', so it was basically useless to me without the rest, but something was blocking everything but those three words: Wind….Liar…Wrong…
…Dono yo na seiko is that supposed to kusoimaimashii mean? The presence above me left in a hurry, as if having been chased away by another existence. I assumed that the other being had just been Wereraiomon, watching over my mind like she had mutually promised to do. That must've been why her message on the D-Tector had cut itself short; she'd sensed the presence above me and had gone to investigate, and finding that it must not have been a friend to us, had sent it on its way. Why can't they just have name tags that you can actually see?
The Digivice screen was still blank when the door of the train car opened slightly, enough for a with-egg Digimon and his Santa-pants-stealing buddy to come into the car. Closing the door behind them, Bokomon came up to me with a sudden smile on his face, kinda like the kind you got when something happened that you were hoping for but didn't really expect to work out. He chimed a 'good morning' before his voice returned to a slightly more strenuous and frightened tone, "…Dear girl, how are you feeling?"
I stared at Bokomon; he'd have to be blind not to be able to see that I was as good as good could be. Maybe he was just as taken aback by it as I was. "…Why am I completely alright?" I answered his question with another of my own, not like that was really any different when talking to a Digimon with, to quote Seraphimon, 'A book that held all the answers'. "It's impossible—" A small growl from my D-Tector, nearly making me smile smugly. I may not have been able to see her, but Wereraiomon could still hear me while listening for anything abnormal. Yeah, I used that word. "—to heal that fast. It…it just is…"
Bokomon looked at me as if I were the dumbest person since Neemon's Uncle Ferdinand, like there was something so painfully obvious about me, something I should've known, but clearly didn't. I was glad he was fully prepared to show me just how much of an idiot I was. "Toshiku, there is a very, very old legend that goes back to the very beginning of the Digital World; in fact, it has been passed down through story-telling through Neemon's family. Even I had never heard of it before I met Neemon, though it took quite a while to actually write it all down because his Grandmamon's false teeth kept falling out while she was telling it—"
"That's my Grandmamon for you! Never thought to use duct tape till I came around—OW!" I held back a grin when Bokomon snapped the rabbit's pants with his normal annoyance of the yellow friend he'd had for so long. This was, in a certain point of view, the way that those two got along; by Bokomon expressing his irritation by the snap of a waistband.
With a following glare at his companion, Bokomon cleared his throat and continued thusly, "…Well, hm, anyway…Now, where was I…Oh! The legend says that there was once a very intricately designed Digimon called Shitsurenmon; there was none like her among all the others. Never had there been a temper like hers, it often got her into tough situations that she had no choice but to dig herself out of, making her attitude quite bold, confident, and powerful.
"But Shitsurenmon was a Digimon of solitude, thinking that there was no one in the world that could handle her when she hit her boiling point. Many Digimon attempted to court her, but she refused their affection after time and kept traveling the Digital World, in search of a purpose that would suit her. However, she found nothing, and no one.
"After many years of being alone and feeling nothing for anyone that surrounded her, the war of the Beast and Human Digimon began, and she was forced to choose a side. But she had befriended Digimon of both kinds, and didn't want to betray her only friends, so she chose to remain neutral. Though, as time went on, and more and more innocent Digimon lost their lives, she felt that she could no longer wait for someone to be a hero. She knew she had to find that someone herself.
"Scouring the whole world, Shitsurenmon tried everything she could think of to find someone brave enough to speak up against the fighting. But no one she talked to had the courage to break through the haze of rage and malice, and ran from her request for aid instead. With each Digimon she questioned, her confidence in finding the one faded more and more.
"One day, she finally lost all of her hope and fell to her knees, her eyes filling with tears at the thought of never being able to stop the war. Then suddenly a bright light filled the atmosphere in front of her, and when she looked up, an angel Digimon was standing before her, offering his hand to help her onto her feet again. Shitsurenmon didn't know what to think of this newcomer, but she knew one thing: He was completely different from her, but still the same, in ways not many could imagine.
"But this Digimon was unlike any other she had ever seen, he was Lucemon. Shitsurenmon was cautious of him, but stayed near him every night and day, testing him in multiple ways to learn everything about him that was possible. She never left his side, growing fonder of him the longer she knew him, and soon began to think that this was no ordinary feeling. Haven't you ever wondered where the saying 'love at first sight' came from? Humans have gotten more from us Digimon than you may realize, Toshiku.
"One day, Shitsurenmon decided to bring up the sensation to Lucemon, see how he would react to it. The further she got into her…well, confession, you could call it, the redder her face became, and the warmer the air became around the two—it is said that the grass even smoldered and was permanently singed around them. Changes could be noticed in Lucemon's features also: He had troubles looking away from her, his own face becoming quite heated and red, being able to assume what she was talking to him about. They both knew that the feelings that they sensed within each other had to be something that was meaningful, though neither ever thought that—"
"They fell in love!" Neemon exclaimed cheerfully, his hands folded near his chin with a goofy smile on his face as he restrained an, 'Aww!'. I couldn't help but smile at the way he put it so simply; Bokomon obviously had a very detailed way of describing it, and had probably been hoping to make it a bit more meaningful and sentimental than that. But heck, it was the truth. Even though it did earn Neemon a whack over the head for interrupting.
"Eh-hem, well, that didn't go as planned…But yes, Neemon has put it correctly: The sensation they felt was the burning light of love. After realizing such, Shitsurenmon assumed that this was the sign that she had been looking for in the Digital World's savior. There was none like Lucemon, and never would be another even similar. She knew he was the one. Telling him thusly, Lucemon agreed to stop the fight and help peace to reign the world again.
"The rest, sadly, follows the past of the Digital World's destruction: Lucemon was able to convince the Digimon to end the war, but not long after he went insane with his power, torturing the Digimon under his rule. Even harming the one he loved the most without even a bat of an eyelash at Shitsurenmon's words, begging him to open his eyes and realize what he was doing. I hate to describe the gruesomeness of her injuries, but I feel I must. Lucemon—"
"He cut her mouth at the edges, turning her beautiful face into a copy of a mythical murderer: The Slit-Mouth Woman. And he branded her with the mark of a thunder bolt, running down her face as if being shot from the clouds…" I trailed off with my own interruption, having felt the need to let him know I had some clue of what he was talking about. His look of, 'Quiet, or the story stops' made me take a mental note, though: If Bokomon's telling a story, listen as intently for pauses as you can. Then you can put up a decent argument for having 'cut him off'. Before he continued, I decided to quickly add in how I knew; it might be a good thing for him to know that I was getting dreams about my Ancient Spirit's past. And another Digimon's life. "I had…a dream. And she was in it. It had to have been just after the attack…"
Bokomon nodded his slight approval of me having informed him of the dream, and continued about where I'd left off, "Yes, that's exactly what he did, Toshiku. Pardon my French, but I find it hard to believe that someone as compassionate as Lucemon—or so he was described by Neemon's Grandmamon—could turn into such a rokudenashi.
"Nonetheless, Shitsurenmon's heart was shattered; she knew she alone wasn't enough to bring back the Lucemon she'd loved, but didn't know how or who could help. But your Ancient Spirit, AncientRaiafemon, felt her pain, and came from across the Digital World, leaving the Legendary Warriors for a moment, to console her broken soul. She told her that there was a way to bring the one she cared for back into the light, but it wasn't going to be a very simple process. But Shitsurenmon didn't care what it took; the only thing she cared about was in agony deep inside, and she intended to save him…or die trying…
"After having defeated Lucemon and sealing him away from the light of the sun, AncientRaiafemon felt despair at the loss of Shitsurenmon—who had sacrificed herself in order to give the Legendary Spirits a fighting chance against Lucemon—and falling to her knees, swore on her grave that Shitsurenmon would be allowed to come back one day, the broken heart within her fallen body becoming capable of bonding with another shattered heart. But no one has seen Shitsurenmon on the face of the Digital World since that day…There is no heart cracked enough to bond with a creation like Shitsurenmon…and if you truly ponder it, I can't say I'm surprised that a Digimon of such sentiment could locate another heart that was even close to similar…"
Bokomon let out a deep, but respectful sigh to catch his breath after talking for so long. I could tell by the way he was regaining his usual breathing habit that he was expecting at least one question from me about the healing, or the legend itself, or even why it was passed down through Neemon's family line, but no, I had a different inquiry. "So…" I grinned slightly, mentally noting to any Spirit that was listening that if this was considered offensive, they had my apologies. "Shitsurenmon…was like…heh, the Second-In Command of the Digital World, or something?" I let out a small laugh, but stopped immediately when I saw the expression on Bokomon and Neemon's faces—I was getting the same vibe even from the Celestial egg.
"Toshiku Yumari," I glanced over at Bokomon with a cautious glint in my eyes; Bokomon hardly ever spoke my full name like that, or in such an insulted tone. Now look what you freakin' did, Toshiku. You pissed off the Digimon. And an egg. "Do not ask such questions so casually; her name is powerful, her presence alone could send the ground around us into combustion. She could easily crush you, and even the Legendary Warriors with one strike, a wave of her hand enough to cause you to fall to your knees before her."
I averted my gaze from them, remorse for my inconsiderate words filling my eyes as I stared at the floor, feeling absolutely worthless and stupid for making such a comment. Shitsurenmon had gone through so much; it was obvious that it had to have hurt her, being maimed by the one she was willing to die to save. If it had been me, I probably would've been screaming 'Someone shoot me!'. But this being was exactly what Bokomon had said: One of a kind. Never another like her. The best ruler for a place as unpredictable as the Digital World.
Ha, don't make me laugh. You call that subeta incredible? You're more delusional than I'd originally though, Yumari. Have you never seen the way Lord Lucemon pulverized Digimon that were simply a waste of space? Heh, you would've been kneeling at his feet with a silver band in a matter of moments. I know how your heart works, you cannot deny it!
I snarled at the voice within me again, the chills crawling up my skin, but I refused to tremble; the knowledge that there was an unshakeable Digimon ruler out there somewhere in the atmosphere that was on my side renewing my fighting spirit. I was ready to stand up and give this thing a piece of my mind. You know what, kisama, and urusai. I'd kick your oshiri for saying such a thing about her, if only I knew who and where the hell you are. If you were her—no, if you were even me, you'd be begging someone to blast your skull open. And if I ever find you, I wouldn't bring this conversation up, 'cause you'll be laying flat on your face in a matter of seconds.
The voice was silent for a moment; I grinned triumphantly, for once I'd been the one to get an effective few words in. But my confidence and sudden burst of newfound power ran away like chipmunks from a drunk with a broken bottle aimed at them when the voice suddenly deepened, and a growl that sounded all too familiar echoed in my ears as if the creature were crouched right beside me, prepared to leap and snap my neck. It was so real, I had to turn and look; but the sensible part of me had been correct, and there was nothing there but an empty train car. …Or is it…?
I was never happier to be dragged back to the irritating presence of the Warriors by Bokomon and Neemon. Seeing my sudden change of mood and trying their best to forget about my comment about Shitsurenmon, they each took one of my hands and helped me to my feet. I was healed, yes, but my tattered muscles still could've used a bit of time to fully relax from the soreness. But there was no way I was going to offend Bokomon and/or Neemon again. Or stay in this freaky spirits-just-seem-to-keep-popping-up-out-of-scenic-nowhere train car.
The second my face was visible, every single eye was glued to me, astonishment, fear, and awe in each iris—a small hint of anger was held within Zoe's teal gaze, but I paid no mind to her. My face reddened at the stares of the confused Warriors; all of them had seen my wounds, they were aware of the extent of all of them. They had to have been thinking exactly what I had: It was impossible for me to have healed.
That, and I felt kinda strange allowing our Digimon guides to hold my hands—technically, each one was just holding on to a thumb—and lead me into the room like I was some kind of retarded idiot with no sense of direction or common sense. It just wasn't the picture of a strong fighter that I wanted to show Zoe, any of them actually. I wanted to prove that ijiwaru blonde wrong, and not make Koji out to be a liar. Even thinking about his complementing words about me after I'd stupid enough to be so seriously injured by Mukademon were enough to begin to make my face a bit warm.
I glanced down and nodded to the two of them, gesturing for them to release me, that I was capable of walking on my own. They gazed up at me wearily, clearly none too sure about it themselves, but hesitantly obliged and allowed me to move clumsily down the isle, flinching every time my left leg touched the floor. Zoe watched me disdainfully as I moved past her, mistakenly locking eyes with her and setting the prissy, lavender time bomb off.
Faster than snapping your fingers, she was yelling at me like we'd never even ended the last argument. "Toshiku Yumari!" She screamed my name with disdain and vulgar in her saliva and on her lips, as if those two words could bring destruction and devastation upon any who spoke them with a hint of misunderstanding at how powerful I could be. Me? Tough? What the hell's this subeta been smoking? "You think you can just maim somebody and get away with it? Now that you've added Koji to your list, who's next for the beati—"
"You know what, Zoe Orimoto?" I shot back with a sudden burst of strength and fake bravery I knew was just anger flowing through my veins like a volcano about to blow the last gasket containing the monster within, a tornado ready to hurl a boulder at a populated area, filled up to the brim with families playing games to calm their children, everyone unaware of the danger lurking nearby, looming only seconds from them. Boom. I was at her throat in seconds, catching not only her, but everyone in the car off their guard. The voice in my head was laughing with my darkening emotions and soul; it felt good to know someone out there understood. "You don't know me, and you never will truly understand the presence before you that is me! I would crush you without hesitation; it's so tempting. She's right; I shouldn't have to think about the consequences of your pain! It's not my problem!—"
The next thing I knew my head hurt like someone had just cracked a coconut using me, and I was being dragged away from a coughing Zoe by a very distressed ravenette with a grip like iron against my arm. "Okay, okay. That's enough. You need a time-out, Toshiku," Koji glanced back at Zoe, still gasping for breath even though I'd only choked her for a matter of seconds before something/someone whacked me and the Warrior of Light grabbed my arm. "You guys make sure Zoe's alright, we'll be right back."
Aw, crap. I did it this time. Koji's gonna make me sit in a corner and think about what I did. I looked down at my feet as I followed Koji into the next car with reluctance, enraged with myself that I couldn't even take a conversation Koji obviously intended to be serious so lightly. A simple 'I didn't mean to choke her' wasn't going to cut it, and wasn't what I would say anyways. I had meant what I did, she'd deserved it for everything she'd said, and she knew it. I could feel that she did, but she just didn't care.
Koji let go of my arm, opening the door to the next car and gesturing for me to go in ahead of him. I absent-mindedly rubbed my arm as I hesitantly moved into the room, trying to calm myself and rid my nerves of their jitters; the Warrior of Light could control his inner thoughts, the deep evil that survived within each person, but shown through only in a few. They were all tragic accidents of nature; I was one of them, but Koji wasn't. The brightness inside him that as so hard to see was too brilliant for normal eyes to notice with a single glance, but look past the storm in his Caribbean blue eyes, and you could see it there. He could make you tremble in more ways than one.
Standing in the middle of the walkway with Koji practically right behind me, positioned right in front of the door, sent chills of shadowy rage down my spine from my skull; part of me thought Koji had no right to try to get inside my head, to attempt to learn of the purpose behind all of my actions. But the other side knew that whatever he had planned was for the best of everyone, no matter what it was, I had to believe that Koji knew what he was doing. It was hard.
The silence made me noticeably begin to tremble; what was Koji even thinking about that he was so quiet? Whenever he was hushed like this, he was always chin-deep in thought. I wanted to sneak a peek inside his thoughts, only a small glance so he wouldn't notice what I was doing, but this time was different than any other…and I was afraid to know what he was pondering.
If you are too pathetic to jump beyond your fears, I will send you something worthy of your fright! I tried not to let out a scared whimper at the voice's words, closing my eyes and biting my lip from the sight of the early morning shadows strewn across the floor grew immensely. Wherever there was nothing but darkness, no warmth of the living was there, only the frozenness of the dead-life evil gave to its hosts. My eyes shot open; I could hear something crawling on the floor, creeping up from the shadows…I could feel its eyes focused on me, and me alone.
I felt something inside of me start jumping and thrashing around with what felt like excitement within my skin as a tall, long creature that seemed like it could barely even fit in train car seemed to just melt out of the shadows, two blank, sunrise-red eyes that sparkled with detest for every good-natured thing that breathed, the twin jewels windows into the spiteful mind within. From what I could tell, the thick black fur was matted with the dried blood of past victims, new, fresh liquid-life drenched its coat, falling to the floor beneath the creature with a drip…drip…drip kind of noise.
The murderous being stepped forward, its long, untrimmed claws, stained with tears and dotted with bits of flesh that had now stuck fast to the smooth weapons curling into the metal in the floor and breaking right through it with a creak and a groan. I'd never seen anything like it before, not even a Digimon could look that terrible, seem so evil. Never had I felt a presence as frozen as this, the voice was one thing, but this…it was actually here…
The creature took another step towards me; I could feel its essence reaching towards me, preparing to trap me beneath its heavy paws and make me just another meal. The sense was so chilled, if my jaw wasn't clenched as tightly as it was, my teeth probably would've been chattering uncontrollably. It was the same as all the other evil Digimon, but this…it was still different somehow. Colder, and so close it had to have been inside of me. The thought made my heart stop.
A calm heat warmed my shoulder, nearly making me jump at the sudden change of temperature. Wanting to feel anything but the presence just feet away from me, I turned and wrapped my arms around the opposite charisma, burying my face in the warmth, but being sure to watch the hellish hound despite how much I just wanted to close my eyes and wish it away.
The beast faltered on its next step, a surprised air drifting from its existence, almost as if it had had no idea there was a third presence in the room. It seemed to be considering its options for a moment or two, but then almost as if it had made the wrong choice, it forced itself to leap towards me, paws reaching for me, ready for the kill. I could smell the rotting flesh between its teeth as it let out a blood-curdling bellow.
I could feel myself still trembling as I tightened my grip on the only thing that made me feel alive in the room, burying my face in the tender glow of heat as the roar suddenly stopped, and the cold air warmed to a more comfortable temperature again as the sun edged up over the horizon, followed by a series of brilliant golds, oranges, and lavenders. As the shadows slowly retreated, I heard a slightly surprised tone ask, "…So, did I miss something?"
Shifting so I could stay close to him, I glanced up at the faintly crimson face of Koji, evidently taken aback by my on-going quivers. Minamoto-boy was gazing down at me with concern in his eyes; he knew that if I'd felt something that was able to be fought, I would've said something to warn him, and actually spirit evolved. But I just couldn't bring myself to tell him, he already looked worried about me. He wanted to know what was wrong, how he could help me through the pain I'd never told him about. I couldn't let him.
Deep inside me, something said I knew Koji wouldn't be able to handle what I would have to tell him. The creatures I saw were no ordinary things, they were so focused on pain and harming others that you burned with their contagious rage, spreading it on and on until the whole world was consumed by it. My nightmares were getting worse and worse every night; no matter what AncientRaiafemon tried to send me as a positive note, she couldn't erase the images of my friends in pain, me unable to help them, my Spirits fighting against me, the whole Digital World in flames—
"I can feel you trembling," Koji's voice was quiet, and gently reminding me that he was here, and he would be unless a day came that I wanted nothing more than for him to get away from me. But as long as I had something to say about it, that day would never come. All I needed to be completely invincible was Koji by my side, standing next to me with those big blue eyes that even Godzilla couldn't stand up to. In my case, however, they were what made me get up again. So, if happiness kept Koji from worrying about me, then happy was what I would be for him. "Is something—"
Silencing a now brightly blushing Koji with a soft peck on the lips, I could've sworn I heard a hushed 'Awww!', 'Why can't that be me and Zoe?' and a growl come from the direction of the door leading back to the other DigiDestined. A puzzled look crossed my face as I glanced over Koji's shoulder; Koji must've noticed the odd sounds also, and joined me in investigating. I hoped I was just seeing things, but I knew that was far too good to be true. JP, Neemon, and Tommy were watching the two of us—still embracing one another—through the circular door-window. I assumed the Zoe thing came from JP, the chorus of 'aw's from Neemon, and the I'm-jealous-Toshiku-gets-to-kiss-Koji growl had come from the lovesick Tommy.
I couldn't blame the poor little guy for being infatuated with someone like Koji: Cold but sensitive, bold and brave, protective when it came to the people he loved, sarcastic but charming, and as an added bonus, he was just plain beautiful. Almost anyone (the 'almost' is straight men) had to admit that there wasn't that much not to like about KojKoj.
I decided that a cheery me would say the most obvious thing since French toast. "…I think we're being spied on…but it's just a theory." Koji shot me a glance that said, 'No, really?', but I just nodded and tried to seem impressed that he hadn't thought of it despite his sarcasm. I snickered as he rolled his eyes, a small grin playing at the corners of his soft lips. The same mouth that had wrapped me around Koji's finger for the rest of eternity when I made the 'mistake' of kissing him back at that creepy fortune tellers' place.
I didn't regret it for one second.
We pulled away from each other, ending the odd little show the two perverts had clearly wanted to observe. I opened the door and attempted to walk by them without even batting an eyelash, but that was hard to do when my hip was still trying to reset itself. Letting out an awkward 'ow', I reached out to open the door to the next car, but Neemon was completely against that option, and whacked my hand away from the door. "Not yet," He said with suspicious eyes that reminded me of musical notes that fell on their side and couldn't get up, and didn't have Life Alert to get some assistance. "We have a few questions for you…"
I couldn't help but gulp as I glanced over at Koji, whose face was now redder than the hottest lava. The Warrior of Light returned the gaze and I could read in his eyes that we both had the same basic idea of what we were going to be interrogated about: The fact that we'd been kissing in there…and pretty much every other occasion that we got alone-time together. It was easy to see Koji didn't want to have this conversation, at least not with them.
"First question," JP stated, raising a single finger to begin counting off the questions. I considered asking just how many questions they planned to ask, but I figured that would only make them keep asking until we got to the next station. "Since Koji didn't seemed bothered in the least bit when you kissed him, I would assume that you two have done this kind of thing before. So, how many times have you guys snuck off for some smooching?"
If I'd had a pole with me, I would've whacked JP with it so many times he would've needed a plastic surgeon to pop the dent back out of his side. I was pretty sure that Koji was on the same page, judging by the hot blush burning his cheeks as he scowled at JP for the wording of the inquiry. Though, I couldn't help but think JP actually had come close to hitting the nail on the head.
I considered counting the times out on my fingers, but I decided that Koji wouldn't appreciate that—even though I was pretty sure that it was six or so, with many more to be added over time—so, I just said the very first thing that came to my head, "…Ummm…would 'a lot' be considered an appropriate answer?"
Koji sent a small glare in my direction for cooperating with their version of an interrogation, but I shrugged; I couldn't help it. JP made a very convincing detective. And I'd been in one of these kinds of situations before, it was a lot less painful and scarring if you just played along. And besides, this was probably one of the most enjoyable things to be cross-examined about anyways.
"…I guess that's good enough," Tommy mumbled, still seeming quite annoyed at the fact that Koji'd been kissed by me and not him. But he was infatuated with the Warrior of Light after all, so, I suppose I should've expected that kind of a reaction from the Ice Warrior. "Next question…" His voice suddenly broke and turned into a little whimper as he looked at Koji with big, beady little eyes. "Koji, so…you're not gay?"
I nearly snorted at the tiny voice he used to ask about Koji's preference, but I held it in and attempted to repress a grin. Koji just stared at the 8-year-old with a look of 'Dono yo na seiko?' hot glued onto his face as he answered hastily, clearly wanting to get the hell out of the cluster of people who thought he was gay, "No!—Wait, it took seeing me with a girl for you guys to realize that?" He snarled at the three of them, who all looked away with oblivious expressions on their faces, trying to avoid answering that question. Mainly because the answer they probably had was most likely going to get them thrown head-first off of the train.
For once, Koji was the one who needed to be gently reminded not to hurt anybody, 'cause the glint in his eye was telling me he could use a bit of a hint to that. I reached down and wrapped my hand around one of his clenched fists and caressed his hand with my thumb. "KojKoj, there's no need to get all worked up, you know. You're a pretty but masculine guy, Koji. I'm willing to bet that JP was hoping you were gay because of what a threat you might be against his plans of getting Zoe." I smiled at him before pecking him on the cheek despite the audience, who were now staring in absolute bewilderment at Koji's blushing face.
"It's just like the movies!" Neemon exclaimed with such relish I could've sworn he was going to turn green. Huh, a green Neemon…Speaking of that, what color would he turn if he was sick anyways? Attempting to forget about the color wheel, I focused on Neemon's words, feeling sick to my stomach as soon as they escaped his rabbit-mouth. "Except without the big break-up before the climax!"
See, Toshiku? I am not the only one who sees through the façade of her lies, and yours. You cannot choose both of them to be your allies; you must pick one, is it not obvious? You must protect the one you want, defend his mind from the heartless Wind while you still have the option to. If you choose him, you must make her your enemy, Yumari. If you decide to try and resolve old problems, you will fall, and lose everything. What's it going to be?
I shuddered uncontrollably at the voice, but just faked another smile at Koji before escaping their presence and heading into the train car with the rest of the group (actually, only Takuya, Zoe, and Bokomon (including Seraphimon's egg—sheesh, that takes forever to say). No, I'll solve this on my own. Whoever you are, I don't need you. Got it? Now, get the seiko out of my head! I mentally snarled at the black image of the voice, trying to keep my face blank as I saw Bokomon hopping back and worth in the middle of the isle.
Noticing me staring, Bokomon continued to bounce up and down as he explained, "He likes it when we bounce; I'm hoping he'll kick again if I keep it up." I smiled sadly at the white book Digimon's words, who was blissfully unaware of the hurt he was causing me. I could remember the day Weregarumon…well, fell out of the sky (I guess the stork got tired and decided to just drop him wherever the next clearing showed up). At first, both Koji and I hadn't really wanted to be forced into…uh, 'parenthood', but after a while, we both just seemed to get trapped in those sad green eyes.
I crouched down in front of Bokomon, and asked hesitantly, not quite sure whether or not this was actually a good idea or not, "Hey, Bokomon…do you mind if…if I held Seraphimon's egg—" I let out an irritated sigh through my nose as Zoe interrupted me for what felt like the millionth time today, but what had to actually only be like, the second or third time. If she keeps this up…we aren't even going to be able to get to the Rose Morning Star…At least not in one piece.
Zoe's voice was shrill and freaked out beyond belief as she exclaimed briskly, "Bokomon, that doesn't sound like a very good idea to me, I mean, Toshiku's not exactly the gentle type, if you haven't noticed. I really don't think you should trust her with Seraphimon's egg—which is, need I remind you, the Digital World's future—"
"I think you underestimate her, Zoe," Everyone looked up at Takuya's sudden intermission; he was leaning up against the armrest of a bench, a smile on his lips and his bright, cheery eyes focusing on a very angry Zoe. I tried to hold back a joyful grin; Takuya always seemed to be on my side when it came to arguing with Zoe, and I couldn't be more glad. "You saw how good of a mommy she was to Weregarumon; she took on all kinds of Digimon to keep him safe. Besides, she seems a lot calmer than what you were making her a couple minutes ago. I don't feel like there's anything we need to worry about right now."
Daggers were prepared to shoot out of Zoe's eyes and strike him dead, but she didn't say anything more about not wanting Seraphimon's egg near me. Bokomon was reluctant, but trusting my…uh, 'maternal skills', he carefully wrapped his pink waistband around the egg to keep it warm, and cautiously handed the oval that held the Digital World on its…shell. It was hard to believe that Seraphimon, a great Celestial Digimon, could be reduced to such a vital stage. I couldn't stop myself from feeling guilty for that transformation. If I had been more vigilant about what I was saying and doing, Seraphimon wouldn't have needed to act like he had to help me.
I held the egg reassuringly as I moved over to sit next to Koji, who'd come back in only a few moments ago, soon enough to hear Takuya call me Weregarumon's mommy. A shadow of distress crossed his face at the mentioning of his…son. The ravenette's eyes clouded with past memories of the furry black pup, obviously taken back far into the past just by the name. I could understand the sting that came along with it, I felt it almost every day I opened my eyes and he wasn't there.
Shifting the pink-covered egg on my lap, I forced a comforting smile onto my lips and inconspicuously patted Koji's hand, embracing it tenderly. He glanced over at me, and his eyes sparkled with an appreciating grin as we laced our fingers. When I finally looked away from Koji, Zoe was giving me this wicked evil stare like she wanted to come over and murder me for probably having Takuya on my side against her. She did like him a bit after all—or so I'd gathered from how pissed she'd acted when he kissed me on the cheek back at the KaratsukiNumemon's Mountain.
I could sense that she was just itching to start fighting with me again, but must've figured it wouldn't be such a good idea when I had Seraphimon's egg. Okay, that's it. I'm tired of saying that over and over again. "Hey, guys," I sent out the inquiry like it was just your average ordinary question. Even though it wasn't ever day that you got to name the egg of a Celestial Digimon. I secretly hoped that my voice didn't sound like I felt: afraid. "We should name the egg. I know I'm getting kinda annoyed with just calling it 'Seraphimon's egg'," I turned to Bokomon; since he was kinda the little thing's parental figure, he may as well get to be the one to actually decide. "Bokomon, what do you think?"
The round, currently bare Digimon blinked in consideration of my suggestion, but slowly began to smile as he warmed up to it. He chuckled lightly before replying with a bright beam of cheeriness, "Oh, why not? I'm in a creative mood; does anyone have any ideas?" The waistband-less walking library glanced around him expectantly, hoping that he was the only one, for once, with nothing on his mind that would actually be considered a decent name for the Celestial shell.
"Hmm…" Takuya was the first one to start thinking (Let's hope his head doesn't pop.) of names, his fingers drumming repeatedly on his chin as he thought. He seemed like the type of guy to sit on the middle cushion of a couch and read one of those name books for hours on end. But then again, he also seemed like the kind to hate being near any book except the little kiddy ones, like the one with the caterpillar that pretty much pigged out for the whole freakin' thing. Suddenly he snapped his fingers and exclaimed with a smile that came from practically thin air, "How about 'Chandler'?" All he received as answers were confused side-glances. That clearly struck him as odd. "You know, like Chandler Bing from that one sitcom Friends? You can't tell me that doesn't ring a bell!"
While Takuya had a heart attack about the fact that hardly any of us had any clue whatsoever about what the hell he was going on about, Tommy must've found something, because he copied Takuya's hand-to-chin thing and quipped, "I know it's not as good as 'Chandler'—" Suck up. "—and it's kinda cliché, but what about 'Eggie'? It could be short for 'Eggbert' if you think about it…" I was pretty sure that almost everyone came close to laughing at his suggestion, but JP was the only one to let out a small snicker.
Everyone but me turned to glare at him, and a very insulted-seeming Tommy scowled, blushing with a slight embarrassment as he retorted, sounding just like the 8 year old that he was, "Oh yeah? Well, you haven't given your suggestion yet, JP! I'll bet you anything that mine was more creative!" I had to admit, my fellow Koji-Addict had spunk.
I averted my gaze from the irritated Koji-Lover to the Warrior of Thunder, who was currently looking very astounded to hear something that pissed come out of Tommy. But Thunder-Boy let it go like a chipmunk in a trap, and answered with a shrug of his shoulders, barely even taking time to consider his options, "Well, since it's technically Seraphimon, why don't we call the little thing 'Phil'? I think it would make the most sense."
"Ooo!" Bokomon made a sound of approval for JP's idea of a good name for a powerful Digimon's weakest form. He glanced around at everyone else, as if asking for a second opinion as he stated, second-guessing his naming instincts like anyone could've expected, "Hm, it certainly sounds like a strong-will-bearing name, but I'm still a bit partial to the thought of a more…hmm, rare name…"
"Well, then what do you think of 'Omelette', Bokomon?" I glanced up slowly, a slight expression of horror crossing my features at the thought of Zoe cracking the defenseless—aside from a manly mother—little thing open and spilling the yoke into a sizzling pan over a campfire. I shuddered at how Zoe could even think of such a thing. "I think it would match him pretty well."
I wasn't the only one thinking that, but I was the only one to comment about it. "How the hell can you say that that's a good name for him? That's just asking for one of the dark Legendary Warriors to come up and fry him!" I glowered at her, just begging for her to make a peppy little remark that would make the rest of the Warriors feel sorry for her and immediately stand on her side of whatever argument this would turn into.
However, she surprisingly didn't try to turn my astounded inquiry into a big deal, and instead—as far as I knew at least—gave her honest reason for the name, "I'm hungry, okay, Toshiku? And knowing your Beast Spirit, Jacob, you can't say that you aren't." I scowled at her for the Twilight-related name, but didn't say any more to her on the subject. It wasn't like it was that big of an offense if she was hungry. Unless she actually tried to make that name a reality.
Aiming to bury that topic as fast as humanly possible, I side-glanced over at Koji, inquiring for his suggestion with a few blinks of my eyes. The bandana-headed boy sighed with a slight exasperation at the fact that I wasn't letting him out of this, and shrugged his shoulders indifferently as he proposed, "I don't know…Richard?" That got a few laughs, mainly out of Takuya, who received a glare from the raven, but nothing more.
"NEEMON, JR.!" The yellow rabbit shouted louder than a Trailmon could whistle, nearly making me drop Seraphimon's egg he surprised me so much. Bokomon would've killed me if I did that. I'd never forgive myself, either. Every head in the area turned and stared with surprise at Neemon, who I'd figured had fallen asleep when we'd gotten back with the pack. I wasn't expecting him to look over in my and Koji's direction though. Or notice something the others apparently hadn't. "And are Koji and Toshiku holding hands?"
Koji all but had a heart attack at Neemon's accusation, and to prevent said thing from happening I unlaced our fingers and swiftly inched away from him, attempting to be as inconspicuous as possible. Our new position was hard to believe because of our reddening faces, but everyone seemed to buy it. They must've figured we were only blushing because of Neemon charging us with liking one another. Except for Zoe, that is.
Her evil stare burned my skin as she stomped over to the both of us. I snarled at her with a 'Dono yo na seiko are you doing' expression as she gestured for me to move over. I stared at her questioningly, but reluctantly did what she said; I didn't want to start a fight so early in the day. But I wished that I had as soon as she sat down between Koji and me, getting as close to the puzzled Light Warrior as she could.
I probably would've mauled her for being so physically close to him if the Trailmon we were on hadn't pulled to a quick stop and thrown me to the ground. My face smacked into the floor first, but I had the egg. That was something. But that joy didn't keep me from being pissed at Zoe for intentionally slamming into Koji; however, the aggravated expression on his face was a good sign. Despite the fact that his cheeks were cherry red.
The image was so hard to swallow; I kept thinking that my eyes had to be playing tricks on me, that this just couldn't be what I was really seeing. But no matter how many times I blinked, the picture wouldn't fade. A feeling close to terror shot through my blood, freezing every muscle in my body, getting colder and colder with each second that I couldn't look away. I was afraid that Koji might actually be caught between wanting Zoe and being with me. No, I'm crazy. I'm nuts, my common sense's taking a breather. There's no way in hell that that's even close to what's actually going on…
But then a fiery rage boiled the ice around my soul, setting my whole being aflame: This was Zoe's fault. She kept tempting Koji, and we both knew that a boy's self-restraint could only be stretched so far, no matter how strong they were. It wasn't Koji, and it wasn't me; all I needed to do to stop the doubt was take her out, and with my Beast Spirit back in my possession, there was no way that I could fail. There was no possible way she could defeat me.
I stood up steadily, each movement shifting with designated steps. I felt like a machine, ready to strike out and kill anything that got in the way of what I wanted. I trembled as darkness shot through me like bullets, shredding every fiber of my being until I was who I wanted to be, who I needed to be to go through with all of my heart's dark desires. Blue shot across my vision, and before I knew what was happening, I had to look almost straight down just to be able to see any of my companions. I'd digivolved without so much as a thought of my own; how did I do…this?
It is not a matter of how, but the correct question would be 'Why?'. Why can you do this? Because it is your destiny to be this way: Filled with eternal rage, handing out agony and damnation for everything that stands in your path. You cannot let go of the darkness; it is who you are. All this adoration of Light has started to grow old in my eyes. You will feel it no longer; I will not allow you to feel such things for anything. No longer will you suffer because of sentiment; your mind will be plagued by your weakness no more. Trust in me, and me alone, and I will make you strong, just like you've always wanted. Now assail them, and earn back your honor.
One leg moved forward without any trouble, and before I knew it I was hovering over two horrified Legendary Warriors, Light and Wind, my friends, the two that I couldn't take my blood-hued eyes off of. My wings spread out intimidatingly, the feathers ruffling as I let out a low hiss, the sound full of resentment and abhorrence, something that I'd never heard myself do before. It was almost like it wasn't me at all, but someone entirely different. The devil himself standing here as my Spirit.
But there were more problems that just not recognizing my own voice anymore. I couldn't stop advancing on them, I didn't even have the power to look away; my eyes were fixed on Koji's face. Every now and then I'd cast a fleeting glance over at Zoe, but she would cower away, trying to hide behind Koji as he reached for his D-Tector. A bird-like screech erupted from my lips as I slashed at the both of them, catching the Warriors off-guard.
I stopped abruptly when a deafening creak, followed by a groan and a crack as the metal making up the roof of the Trailmon car behind me crashed down with a flash of brown, black, and purple. Turning with a snarl, my teeth flashing in the bright sunlight, I saw a Digimon that I knew from my dreams, the one that had harmed my Ancient Spirit after she'd had to suffer against Lucemon and the loss of her friend. Rowloamon was finally here to fight me.
"Rowloamon," A cold voice hissed, cutting through the thick silence like a thousand bolts of lightning; it was a tone I knew I should've been able to recognize, but I just didn't seem to be able to think about it as clearly as I could have. "You compassion-filled fool! Do you not realize how simple you make it for me to fulfill destiny this very day? By coming here, you've only sealed the fate of what is to come! I know, for Lord Cherubimon has envisioned it since your creation!—"
"If you can hear me, you must listen," The owl-similar, humanoid Digimon spoke as if there was a chance the sound could've been blocked out. My first thought was Cherubimon, but Rowloamon was on his side, he'd have no reason to block out whatever she'd have to tell me. She was probably going to say something about taking the ones I loved away from me again anyways. "I should've found the opportunity before today, but I have no choice now. Cherubimon has told me to inform you of your destiny. His reasons for doing so…you will learn in time. But for now," She lunged forward and grasped part of my wing, digging her talons in like a handle before dragging me, swiping at her and shrieking like a monster, back up through the entrance she'd made. "You must know what you're getting yourself into."
Rowloamon dragged me high up into the sky before releasing me, forcing me to fly to keep from falling. She batted her wings wildly, trying hard to keep herself just barely below me, ready to dive back down and snatch me back up into the air if I tried to make a dash for the Warriors, who I could barely even see from this altitude, though I could feel that they had just felt that this was normal and continued like nothing had even happened. It made my rage bubble up even more; I could feel my strength increasing with each breath, the oxygen fueling the flames within this machine.
"Do you not realize what is occurring inside your human body?" Rowloamon asked it as if this were a game show and she was the host, her voice was so quizzical and Hollywood-ish; her tone was one that you'd expect the police to be using on a victim though, and that I couldn't comprehend. Not that I intended to think about it either; honestly, all I wanted to do was fight, I wanted to kill her so badly. She'd been part of my Ancient Spirit's death, so it was rightly what she deserved.
I rushed at her and slashed at her with my talons, letting out another raven-screech before grabbing her and trying to tear through her wings. Her face stayed what seemed to be calm as she shoved me away; I let out a yell before shouting at her, "I don't care what's going on with that form! I don't care about any of the other humans! They've caused me too much pain already—"
Either I'd said something I shouldn't have or I was about to and she knew it, because the next thing I knew Rowloamon was above me, her face still serene though her hands were tightly grasping my shoulders as the two of us hurtled towards the ground. I let out a loud cry as I hit the ground hard, the armor on my shoulders and chest cracking under the pressure Rowloamon was putting on it.
I struggled to fight against her grip, but she simply shoved me back down; she was so strong, if I wanted to fight this Warrior of Cherubimon, I'd have to use my Beast Spirit. As if she were reading my thoughts, the black-eyed warrior above me chillingly spoke, her words falling from her mouth hastily, almost like she had an estimated amount of time to actually talk to me before something happened. "I did not come here to fight you, young warrior. I came to warn you, though in your present state, I doubt you will be calmed enough to listen as intently as is necessary."
She let her jaw drop open, her teeth glittering in the bright midday light as a scratchy voice called out, "Sulpher Plume!" I watched defenselessly as a cloud of bluish gray steam leaked from the corner of her mouth, curling around me like two serpents; soon my whole body was enveloped in the hot air. Before I could even think of trying to escape the cloud, the armor covering me began to sizzle and bubble, melting like the chocolate bar JP had accidentally left out in the sun on some tin foil ('Accidentally' meaning under my supervision).
After a few more seconds, my face started to burn, the only exposed skin of my being smoldering in the acidic cloud surrounding me, the metal of my helmet dripping down and blazing my forehead and cheeks. If you've ever burned yourself with melted candle wax, then you know a fraction of what this is like. Think of a forgery; picture being covered in that boiling, molten metal. That's what it was like.
I cried out in agony as the skin caught fire, smoking and flaming as I myself began to melt. I tried to reach up and get Rowloamon away from me, but her grip on my shoulders prevented hardly any movement; I was stuck, and unable to even de-digivolve. Something inside me was beginning to convince me that it would be weak and pathetic to give in to what Rowloamon was trying to do. I couldn't stop myself from listening, and obeying.
The brown-haired owl holding me down growled in aggravation through the smoke that was still seeping out of her. She seemed astounded and even a bit concerned that I hadn't returned to my frail humanoid form yet. She barred her teeth and dug her talons into my shoulders, the holes giving entry to the acidic air around me. "Release her, you witch! Or I swear by Lord Cherubimon I'll tear you to pieces! You and I both know that it isn't time yet for destiny to take its hold on anyone!..." She trailed off and became silent again, closing her mouth to harness in the air as I finally de-digivolved back to me.
I lay there, panting heavily as the smoke around me finally dissipated. Rowloamon's vice-grip on my shoulders hesitantly decreased until she was standing over me, allowing me to sit up, if I could. Which I couldn't. Rowloamon stared at me, as if asking if she'd maimed me more than she'd intended to, but I replied by flipping her off. She evidently didn't appreciate that, but didn't leave.
Instead, she started to explain what I assumed must've been the whole reason for her coming here to find me, or, at least something, "As you can clearly tell, Toshiku, your anger and doubt gets the best of you many times. You allow it to control you, you make it part of you, even use it to make yourself stronger. Tell me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what your little group of Legendary Warriors are for? Or have you realized that they seem to be abandoning you?
"I saw your rage grow; you felt it when they sensed nothing about your disappearance. They considered that it was normal for you to have yet another enemy, for you to fall into darkness and lose control of anything that you're doing. But this…this is no ordinary problem, you must know that. You've noticed that there is a difference in how you fought, in how you acted, and even sounded, though you don't understand how or why. Gomen nasai, but I am not allowed to speak any more of it; it is not a good idea to know too much of one's destiny.
"If you want to prevent them from falling away from you, you must stop and think through every single thing you do, everything you say. Anything can be used against you, and to Her aid. She will take any good in and around you and make it as black as Her heart, and anything evil, She will attempt to harness it and add to her own source of power. If you can ever understand, if it is your fate to destroy Her, your darkness will fade, but before it can, you shall also. Life is like a highway; which way are you going?
"You recall your dreams of yesterday, do you not? I'm speaking of one in specifics: The song. I can sense the knowledge of it within your mind; She did not act fast enough to be rid of it, though I don't know yet if it will even be of any assistance to you or not. Nevertheless, I sent you that dream as a warning, though you didn't think as much of it as I would've hoped. But the next time you are alone, ponder it. Consider it a gift of knowledge that I may demand to have returned whenever pleases me, for it is more than simple memorized words. It tells of your up-coming future, and your pain…" She took a deep breath, and let it out slow; either she was running out of stuff to say, or there was so much she wanted nothing more than to say, 'Okay, never mind. See ya, kid' and get the hell outta here.
Rowloamon gazed down at me with sad eyes, though colorless, emotions were bright like a lantern in them. She appeared to be almost ready to cry, as if something she couldn't say was eating away at her from the inside, but she was strong enough to keep herself from doing what she wanted. Probably because the one she followed had forbidden her to do so. Even though I could feel that we were supposed to be enemies, meant to fight one another until the death, I felt something that felt like pity for the creature before me. "Rowloamon…please, tell me what's killing you…We could try to help each other; you don't have to follow Cherubimon—"
"Silence! You lie! There is no hope, but in Lord Cherubimon and his plans of dark destruction!" She screamed at me, staggering back as if she'd been struck by a force of translucent energy. The bird-eyed being reluctantly looked back at me, a question of what she should do crossing her features, like she was trying to decide if she should say anything more. She chose quickly. "I can't tell you much more, but listen carefully and you may be able to change your future. This is your destiny: Something I cannot forget, I will lose. Something I cannot see now, I will fight. Something I cannot stand, I will suffer for. Now, Toshiku, you don't have much time left to change. Make something good of yourself before they turn you into a warrior of malice.
"But first…" Before Rowloamon turned away from me to leave, she spun back around, and with a slight look of apology, extended her wings, both of them turning a deeper shade of brown as the feathers ruffled and quivered. "Shadow Razors!" Her wings began to glow and emit a purple-ish steam like the sulpher attack; she flapped them rapidly, the new color mixed with metallic-like feathers moved towards me swiftly, catching my clothes and skin, the power of the attack strong enough to send me flying at the speed of light.
My body already felt numb by the time I finally touched the ground again; I'd landed far away from where Rowloamon had warned me about my future, on a shelf of rock near the bottom of a deep trench, a river only a couple of meters down from where I was. I knew I had to get up and go looking for the others, see if they were ready to head back out, because this place obviously wasn't the Rose Morning Star. But no matter what I tried, I couldn't even move. Pain racked my body every time I came close; soon I couldn't even keep my eyes open.
"Power is everything, and the only thing. Good evening, my newest warrior. I see that you have taken quite well to your new dark heart. Not all beings would be able to blend with the darkness like you are able to, and that is something you can take to the bank."
"Master…Why have you created me? What is my purpose in this world, my reason for this life? You have pondered over a…human…but I barely can acknowledge what such a creature is. Why is my fate tied to one?"
"It is because of destiny, my dear. Fate. Hers is to die by the hand of a friend she will have for years, but will turn on her when the time is right. She will be taken down by her feeble emotions, and strangled by her only chance at a new life. Yours, Angel of Darkness, is to be that friend, become that chance at life. If she relies on you, then it will take but one powerful strike to take her out. And she will join us."
"…But why ask a human to join in an army of Digimon? How can you trust that this being you speak of will be of any use to our cause at all? Master, it just doesn't make sense to me—"
"Your mind isn't open enough to be able to understand what she is capable of, what she can bring back that will give us the victory over the warriors this world will call to help them. With who she can call back to life…she will be nearly invincible, given the right reason and allies. And we must be sure that that is us, because if she chooses the light over this tainted beauty…it will be near impossible for me to cover this world in darkness."
"…I see…So what must I do?"
"It is actually quite simple, you will see. Change her heart to change this world—"
I awoke with a start, but not because of the dream; something was shaking me, even though it was very strong, it was jerky and enough to slightly piss me off. I reached out to try and whack it away, but all I got was a smack on the hand by someone who was just asking to get the kuso kicked out of them as soon as I could move my leg.
Opening my eyes, I saw the one person I didn't want to be around right now: Zoe Orimoto. She seemed pissed to see that I was awake. "I thought you were dead. It would've be a nice change of pace after what you tried to do to me and Koji on the Trailmon earlier today!" Zoe exclaimed with such vigor I found it hard to believe that she was just messing with my head. She wasn't joking around; I could sense it from deep within. She truly thought that they would all be better off without me. I couldn't say I could think of any other way for them to be safer. "He's the one I worry about the most; he's alone with you so much. But Takuya's at just as much of a risk because of how he feels about you. I don't get it! What do you have that I don't?" Zoe looked so enraged, but I couldn't feel anything but ice around my heart. I didn't want to help her like I did Rowloamon. But I didn't get it either; why did she envy what I had? I barely had anything, or even anyone. Why did she even care?
I shoved her away from me, angered almost immediately by her presence, let alone her words. "It's because I have a heart, you subeta. I actually think about what happens to someone other than me, but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" I felt no remorse for my words at all, I didn't need to. She didn't deserve my pity, and I wasn't here to do everything I could to fix everything that was broken. I had a mind of my own, and I intended to use it to break her down before she could do so to me.
The blonde scoffed, her tone fueling the fire within me and sending my rage tumbling over the edge of no return. I stood up steadily as she spoke, feeling my anger empowering each of my cells until they couldn't bear any more, "Yeah, I'm the one with no heart!" I couldn't stop myself from spirit evolving again, this time lashing out at her as soon as my talons had appeared on my fingers. I stomped the ground when she moved just out of reach; throwing my head back, I let out an eardrum-shattering wail, something close to the sound of a battle cry, but so much deeper and shrouded with a volley of shadows. I didn't know how I could make sounds like that.
"Oh, so you wanna fight?" Zoe shouted at me, snatching her D-Tector from out of her vest pocket. Data encircled her hand before cocooning her completely, fading to leaving a lavender-bikini-'armored' fairy-Digimon in her place. She batted her little pixie wings as she moved what seemed quite slowly towards me; it was like she was barely moving at all. I felt nothing but a sudden burst of energy from my rage as she sent a kick into my side. "I'll give you a fight you'll never forget! Tempest Twist!" She flipped onto her hands and sent rapid kick after kick into my torso, doing nothing but give me that much more strength as my rage grew; I felt no pain, she was doing nothing but condemning herself.
Now, strike. I listened to the frozen voice, not pondering the fact that it sounded much more real now than at any other time. I reached out a hand and caught her by the shin, her boots making it simple to dig my talons in for a tight hold. Kazemon gasped as she watched me slam a punch into her leg, letting out a cry as the bone shattered and I let her fall. "Allow me to call your bluff." My new, strangely familiar voice scoffed, reaching down and slashing my talons across her face, causing her to cry out and try to drag herself backwards.
Growing desperate to get me away from her, Kazemon held out her hands, little tornadoes escaping from her fingertips as she shouted, "Hurricane Wave!". I stood completely still, my hands held out before me, the tips of my claws pointed towards the fairy laying on the ground only a few feet away from me. The pathetic Digimon caught her breath again as the wind parted around me, the most damage being that it was blowing my shadow-black hair back. "How…H-how did you—"
"I was not put in this mind to answer questions, subeta. I am here to destroy my host, and anyone who gets in my way. You, Warrior of Wind, are killing her all by yourself; you are working to rob her of what she lives for. I do not intend to—" I didn't have time to finish before something hard and electrically charged rammed into me, sending me back a few feet and onto the ground.
I jumped up just in time to be hit again, this time catching a glimpse of my new opponent, and hearing him shout out his attack, "Bolo Thunder!". A tank-like, navy blue Digimon that slightly resembled some kind of bug raised its arms, and shot out two round balls of electric energy in my direction, the two spheres connected by a single pulsing strange of electricity. I heard the newcomer speak to the fallen pixie as the second attack hit me, strong enough to make me muffle a yell. "Kazemon, are you okay? C'mon, slide evolve to Zephrymon and give me a hand."
"Right!" She agreed as she surrounded herself with data, coming back into the light of day as a taller, blue-wing-headed Digimon that made me sick to my stomach just remembering what had happened last time I had fought her. However, an unexpected sureness told me that this time would be different, and to evolve to Wereraiomon. But…I had a feeling that if I did that, I might not be able to stop. Even though I was barely even controlling what I was doing now; I hadn't wanted to nearly break Kazemon's leg, just knock her over. What was going on?
Do not doubt! Now stand, and fight! You have the ability to destroy them; you can obliterate anything and anyone who stands in your way! Stop trying to resist the dark desires within you, and let them fall victim to the power you possess! Open your eyes to your fate and slay them! You cannot escape your destiny!
I couldn't stop myself; I was too angry, too enraged and troubled to want to try to fight against her anymore. I jumped onto my feet with another wail of battle cry, and rushed at the two of them. With a single flap of my wings, shooting up dust all around us, two spheres of black and royal purple energy similar to the kind that had emitted from Rowloamon's wings formed from my palms, becoming the size of your average head before shooting out from me straight into Zephrymon and MetalKabuterimon.
"Stellar Shadow!" Leaping away from them before they had time to react, I sent another few of the same little spheres at them, followed by another that was moreover the size of BurningGreymon's head. The two of them dodged the attack hastily, to my dismay, and came forward, the idea of attacking together clear and easy to read in their minds. I grinned evilly as my frozen voice echoed out as if we were in a cave, "You think you can defeat me? I am more powerful that you could ever dream to be, Legendary Warriors! Just try, I dare you!"
Hesitating only slightly at my statements, the Beast Spirit of Wind swung her arms around in a slight circular motion, little pink blades rushing through the air currents her movement created. "Hurricane Gale!" …Why can't I move? My legs won't listen to me; my wings won't even move to act as shields…What the hell's going on?
The maniacal grin stayed pasted to my lips as I stood completely still, my body seeming unafraid while I was having a panic attack about not even being able to control my limbs like I normally could. Something wasn't right; even when I fell into Cherubimon's lies I could still control what I did and didn't do. This was nothing like that. I couldn't do anything; someone entirely different was doing everything in my place. "Electron Cannon!"
I awaited the two attacks with open arms, and thought in my head of being able to almost catch them with an air current from my own wings and send them back, but I had no clue of how that would be possible. I'd never done that before, or even gotten such a preposterous idea before. Of course, it seemed like it might work, but I'd never made a plan about sending an attack back yet. Despite my doubt of it working, I didn't have to option to do otherwise, and had started to put the motion into action when I heard someone call out to me. But their words sounded so jumbled up, I couldn't understand them, so I ignored the sound altogether.
However, before I could even get the technique completely going, BurningGreymon leapt between me and the on-coming attacks, letting them hit him before they even got close to me. "…Nani yo?" The frozen voice that had taken over my usual one wondered aloud as the red-armored dragon-Digimon standing only a few feet in front of me fell to his knees from the attack, both of the Digimon that had sent the attacks yelling at him about what he'd done that.
BurningGreymon turned to face me slowly, his bright, shining blue eyes filled with sorrow for a reason I couldn't understand. His sadness struck me deeply, boring into me like any attack could've done, but this was so much more agonizing. I should've known why it hurt, but I couldn't get past a blockade in my mind that wasn't allowing me to do so. Whatever you are, whoever it is trying to hurt my friends, get the seiko out of my head before I figure out where you are! If you're not careful, I'll find you, and my friends and I will kick your oshiri for what you're trying to do to me, and everyone else for that matter!
The mental outburst got the entity to let me de-digivolve, but left with an evil, amused laugh nonetheless. I knew I hadn't won that fight; whoever that subeta was that seemed to enjoy my misery and hurt had won because I'd been so afraid, I hadn't known what to do. But that may've been one of the reasons that she chose to haunt me in the first place. I wished that my friends' presence could stop the tainted thoughts like Koji's had with Cherubimon the day we'd first gotten Weregarumon.
Everyone de-digivolved when they saw that I wasn't just pulling a trick on them to catch them off their guard. Only Tommy, Takuya, and the Digimon looked reasonably glad to see that I was back to normal; Zoe, JP, and Koji on the other hand—Wait…Koji? He…he's pissed at me too? I glanced back at Koji, ignoring JP and Zoe's glowers, paying no mind to anything but Koji.
I could feel it in the air; something was wrong between us, more than just the fact that I kept trying to fight the Legendary Warriors. There was something between Koji and me, separating us like a wedge to a wooden board. I didn't understand it, but I had a pretty good idea. It was just hard to keep trying to find the problem when what Koji wanted to do was fight. And that was a call I just couldn't stop from accepting.
"What's wrong with you?" Koji shouted at me, earning surprised looks from absolutely everyone, including a few bystanders that had come to observe how this human battle turned out. Koji's tone made me flinch; he had no concern for my well-being in it whatsoever, but there was some for the others. The only thing that really bothered me about that was the fact that Zoe was staring at Koji, a happy glint in her eyes at his words. "Are you even on our side at all?" That does it.
"Oh, and how am I supposed to know if you're on my side, Koji?" I yelled back at him, both of us storming towards the other with fire on our tongues and loathing in our eyes. I'd never felt like this towards Koji before; it almost made me want to just drop the argument, wrap my arms around him, and not let him go until he understood that all I wanted to do was help them, but something was trying to get to me. Almost. "I've told you that I don't want to hurt you; my word should be enough, Minamoto! Or have you been listening to someone else's promises lately?"
I locked eyes with Koji; I could see that he knew exactly what I meant. His eyes clouded over with emotions I hadn't even expected to see in him at that question: A sad confusion shadowed his anger, cooling it until it was practically gone; he gazed back into my eyes, his glum expression freezing my anger over rapidly, nearly making me regret asking. "You…You don't trust me?"
Despite how I felt for Koji, I couldn't help but snap back at him, "If you can't trust me to do my job as the Guardian of the Legendary Warriors, how do you think I can trust you?" I almost immediately regretted saying that, seeing that my harsh words had easily relit Koji's anger. Shimatta, why can't I just shut up?
Koji growled before shoving me and yelling, his voice cracking slightly, barely enough to notice, "I don't need you—We don't need you here, Toshiku! We'd all be better off without you! So, why don't you just get out of here?" I nearly stumbled to the ground, but after I regained my balance, I actually took in what Koji's just said. Everything he said hit me like heat-seeking missiles, all of them colliding with my heart. He couldn't have meant that, he just couldn't have. He'd been with me since the first time I'd fought Taurumon; too much had gone on between us for him to really mean that with all his heart. He's just mad. I attempted to convince myself. He'll calm down if I give him a bit of time. But I had more than just a very pissed off Koji on my hands.
Zoe stood only feet away from the two of us, a wicked smile on her face, her eyes glittering with the new opportunity. I didn't get that chick; what was her deal with Koji and me? Why did she always swarm him like a mosquito whenever we hit a rough patch? It was like she was just waiting to…to step into my shoes.
My eyes widened with a sudden realization that I felt plain stupid for not having realized before, and of course I just had to figure it out right after ticking Koji off: Zoe was trying to separate the two of us so she could try her luck at the pretty boy. I let out a low growl as I stared at her, wanting oh-so-very-bad to go up and knock some sense into her skull, but knowing that that wouldn't be a good idea when Koji was in this kind of a mood. I'd have to do it when he wasn't watching me like he was ready to go up and smack me. And when I wasn't in the mood to punch him in the nose.
Turning my back on the group, I followed the train tracks up to Worm, who was waiting impatiently for us to finish up our fight and get on so he could keep taking us to the Rose Morning Star, even though he wasn't even the Trailmon that had brought us to this Kamisama-forsaken town in the first place. I slammed the train car door behind me, and leaned up against it with a sudden wave of depression falling over me like a waterfall.
Koji's reaction to my asking if he'd been with somebody else since we'd gotten together sent tears to my eyes as I slide to the floor. He'd been so sad, I'd hurt him so much over the month or so that we'd been here in the Digital World. I couldn't hold down the pathetic sobs in my throat, choking any hope of me being able to breathe, and let them out as the salty tears tumbled from my eyes. I felt so weak; this world was no place for people who couldn't handle anything that came their way. But I couldn't bear being the reason Koji was sad.
"Ko-Koji…" I choked out his name with a sob; knowing that he couldn't hear me made me feel that much worse. I just wanted to tell him what I really felt so he'd know; he deserved to know exactly what I wanted to say but just couldn't. I could only say it when he wasn't there to hear me. "I-I'm sorry I can't make myself be what you need…I'm sorry…"
Okay, that didn't end how I planned, but it had the same feel to it I guess. It was a bit more depressing that I was aiming for though. But I hoped you guys liked it anyways. Please review! :)
Oh, and by the way. I've been noticing that a few reviewers have been saying they're getting confused and a bit perplexed by some of what I'm writing. I'd just like to let them know (they know who they are) that if they have questions they can PM me about them, because more likely than not, I'll explain almost everything that was left hanging in the next chapter, or one of the ones to come.