Hi Everyone!
It's been a month but I'm finally back! Thanks to my long holiday, I had a lot of time to work on the details in my head (and yes, new stories, too), so I finished all the chapters in progress and now I'm proofreading them. Which means I'm updating half of my stories now, the other half later today, and then I will get back to my usual posting schedule.
I would like to thank you all for your patience and kind words, you have no idea how much you helped me. You're amazing, guys!
That was most certainly the weirdest night of Blaine's life. Once he went home and fell into his bed, he started crying and his crying somehow turned into a depressed karaoke night which ended around 3 in the morning when one of his neighbours had enough and almost broke his front door in his haste to shut Blaine up. Luckily for the man, Blaine wasn't aggressive anymore but the short conversation made him cry again, so he shortly slammed the door into the man's face and went back into his room.
After a while, the pain he felt in his chest seemed to lessen and he became happy. Like really-really happy, although he had no idea why he felt that way. There was nothing funny in the situation. He had hurt Kurt, there was a chance that he would never see him again... Okay, for some reason, even the thought of being away from Kurt seemed funny.
After the funny part came the hotness and hunger. Blaine quickly got out of his clothes, opening every window, because he felt like he was burning inside. He took a quick shower and went through the kitchen, eating everything he found. Well, almost everything. He decided that the bread he had left there weeks ago didn't look too well to eat. About half an hour and several bags of chips later, he walked back into his room and tiredly fell onto his bed. He was so tired that he fell asleep within a minute.
"Oh. My. God."
When Blaine came to, his head spinning and throbbing, he slowly turned to his side, afraid of throwing up. He was shaking and felt like he had been hit by a truck. Every single part of his body was in pain and he had no idea where he was or what had happened to him.
"Finally. I've been trying to wake you for almost twenty minutes" a familiar voice said.
"Jeff?" Blaine groaned, opening his eyes slightly.
"Come on, Blaine, it's time to wake up" Jeff said and knelt down onto the bed to help Blaine sit up.
"You're here?" Blaine asked, reaching out to touch Jeff's face. "You're here."
"How much alcohol did you have last night?" Jeff asked, slowly shaking his head.
"I don't remember" Blaine answered.
"Unfortunately, everybody else does" Jeff sighed.
"Why are you here? And why am I here?" Blaine asked, desperately trying to remember.
"You really don't remember?" Jeff asked.
"No" Blaine said miserably. "We weren't supposed to drink, we could have risked Kurt and Danny's safety."
Jeff sighed, shaking his head again. They all knew about the previous night and what Blaine had done. He had been sent here for Blaine, so they could discuss what to do now but it was hard when their leader didn't remember a thing.
"You were the only one who drank last night" Jeff explained, hoping that it would train Blaine's memory. "I guess you had a pretty large portion because you went all psycho and almost hit Kurt and Wes."
"What?" Blaine gasped. "God! Are they alright?"
"Not really" Jeff admitted. "Look, Blaine, we will discuss everything but I have to get you back to Kurt's place before he gets home. You screwed up everything last night and I don't think he wants to see you anytime soon."
"No, no, no" Blaine said, burying his face into his hands. This couldn't be happening. "I have to call him."
"No" Jeff said sternly when Blaine reached for his phone. "Not now. Can you walk? You should have a shower before we leave."
Blaine nodded and stumbled out of the bed. Some of the things from the previous night was coming back but he needed more time to think and find out what he had done.
~ o ~
By the time they finally reached Kurt's house, Blaine was mostly back to normal. He remembered almost everything from the previous night, the ball, Kurt, Jeremy, all the stupid things he had done at home after Wes had sent him away. And he had a very good explanation for the happenings. After remembering what he had done to Kurt, it didn't take him long to find the reason why he had acted so differently. He knew that he wasn't an aggressive person, sometimes he beat the bad guys but he would never hurt someone willingly, especially someone as important as Kurt. There was only one explanation for his behaviour: he had been drugged and he knew exactly who had done that to him. It must have been Jeremy, he had been the only one who had had the chance to drug him and if Blaine was right – and after all of this, he knew that he was right – he had had his reasons to get the bodyguard out of the way. Blaine had gotten too close to the truth and Jeremy wanted him out of the picture.
It didn't mean he was the only one to blame. Blaine had known that he couldn't trust the man, so accepting a drink from him was the stupidest thing he could do. He should have been more careful. It was just luck that Wes and David had found them before Blaine could do something worse, and although nobody had gotten badly hurt, Blaine was afraid that his mistake would ruin his chances with Kurt forever. He knew better than anyone what Kurt had been through in the past and the last thing he needed was his boyfriend endangering him again.
Blaine sighed and reached for his phone as he got out of the car but he had to remind himself that Jeff had taken it away back in his apartment and he didn't seem like he wanted to give it back anytime soon. Blaine wasn't okay with it, not at all, especially since Kurt wasn't here, so he couldn't talk to him and he wanted to make sure that he was fine, but he didn't want to make this any worse for himself. He had to get Kurt's and his friends' trust back, so he had to play by their rules.
"Sit down" Wes said simply when they stepped inside, motioning towards the couch.
"Where's Kurt?" Blaine asked immediately.
"Danny's friend has a birthday party today, don't you remember?" Jeff asked.
Blaine sighed, rubbing his forehead. Yeah, it was Mandy's birthday and he was supposed to go with Kurt and Danny.
"I guess the others are with them now" Blaine said slowly.
"Yes" Wes nodded. "Now let's..."
"How's Kurt?" Blaine interrupted.
"He could have had worse" Wes answered.
Blaine raised an eyebrow, waiting for his friend to continue.
"You didn't break any bones but both of his arms are bruised" Wes said. "He lied to the doctor, so you aren't in trouble."
"I wouldn't say that" Jeff commented.
"Guys, I know what it looks like but what happened yesterday wasn't my fault" Blaine explained. "Jeremy..."
"Blaine, would you stop this?" Jeff asked. "I know you hate the guy but this time you went too far and almost got all of us fired."
"It wasn't my fault..."
"It was" Wes said quietly. "I talked to Kurt this morning and he doesn't want to fire us."
"He's a good man" Blaine smiled.
"He is" Jeff agreed. "That's why we all want the best for him and Danny."
"What does it mean?" Blaine frowned.
Wes and Jeff looked at each other, both of them waiting for the other to talk. In the end, Wes lost his patience and turned back to Blaine.
"We think that you should take a few days off, for everybody's sake" Wes said. "When I talked to Kurt, he made it clear that he doesn't want to see you anytime soon."
"What?" Blaine gasped.
"You know how busy he is with the theater and everything" Wes explained. "Right now, he wants to focus on his job and we all agreed that it would be the best for him if you weren't around."
"You want to kick me out?" Blaine asked.
"Consider it as a holiday" Jeff said.
"I won't go on holiday, not now when Kurt needs me the most" Blaine said heatedly. Why couldn't they understand that he only wanted the best? He was so close to catch Jeremy...
"Blaine, I know it affects you the most but you can't forget that you aren't the only member of this team" Wes said.
"But this is my team!" Blaine said angrily. "I started this business, I let you work for me, and this is what I get in return?"
"So you would get all of us fired because of your craziness?" Jeff, who was mostly on Blaine's side, almost shouted into his face. He was still angry with his friend for being so stupid and ruining his relationship with Kurt. "Right, you have nothing to lose. You don't have a family to take care of but we do. Nick's sister can't afford those expensive medicines without her brother's help. I have to support my mom or else she would lose her home! David and Wes have their girlfriends and I'm sure they don't want to get stuck where they are. There're people counting on our help and we can't lose a job like this."
"I have nothing to lose?" Blaine asked in disbelief. "You from all the people should know how I feel. Kurt's not just a fuck for me, Jeff. He and Danny are my family or at least I want them to become once. I've never felt like this before and I'm not sure I would survive without them."
"You should have thought about this earlier" Jeff said.
Blaine felt like he was punched in his face. Anybody could have said this, he wouldn't have been too upset. But Jeff... He wasn't just a friend for him. They had grown up like brothers, he had always been there for Blaine. They were supposed to support each other, no matter what happened.
"Give Kurt a few days" Wes said, putting a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "You need to cool off and he needs some time away from you, so he can get over it. Just leave him alone for a little while."
Blaine nodded, although he didn't agree with the others. They knew nothing at all. But it seemed like he was alone and there was nothing he could do to make things better.
"I can give you a ride home" Wes said.
"No, I will just walk home" Blaine said, turning away from his friends. He had to get away from them, he just needed to be alone for a while.
"Wow, that was hard" Wes sighed when Blaine closer the door behind him, turning to a very quiet Jeff. "Are you alright?"
"No" Jeff said shortly and before Wes could say anything, he fled into the camera room.
Wes sat down onto the couch, rubbing his forehead. He had no idea how they would fix this.
~ o ~
Kurt felt like an outsider as he watched the kids and their parents enjoy the party. It was certainly a good one with everything a child could wish for: clowns, ponies, Mandy's favourite singer, music and delicious food. Mandy's parent must have paid a whole fortune for this party and the other guests clearly had a great time but for Kurt... It was just another horrible event he had to go through. Usually he wasn't like this. Although he didn't really fit into the perfect world of the parents of Danny's schoolmates, he couldn't talk about education and the importance of private lessons for hours and he certainly didn't agree with most of the others' opinion about how to raise a little genius because he didn't think it was the only thing that could make a parent proud, but most of the times he was able to join these conversations and smile, play another perfect father in the perfect world of the perfect upper class families.
But this time all he could do was check the time on his phone in every ten seconds and wish that for some mysterious reason, the party would end sooner and they could finally go home. He should have paid attention because Danny's birthday was just a few weeks away and he had to do something similar, too. These parties were like... status symbols. Everybody wanted the same for their kids and if somebody didn't take part of it, the kids at school would pick on those parents' children sooner or later. Some of them was normal like Mandy but the others... Sometimes Kurt didn't know how Danny survived in such a horrible environment.
But instead of joining one of the small groups of parents, he stayed in the background, away from everybody, with an untouched piece of cake and his bodyguards who watched him in concern. The only one who seemed to enjoy the day was Danny who – as the best friend of the birthday girl – quickly became the center of attention and he clearly enjoyed it.
Kurt watched his son ran around the room with his friends, everybody else completely forgotten. He wished he could be as carefree as Danny right now. The boy had been so excited because of the party that he hadn't noticed Blaine's absence. He had only asked Kurt once about him but the man had quickly changed topic. It was so hard to talk about him, even thought he couldn't get Blaine out of his head since the previous night.
Wes and David had brought him to the doctor to check his injuries and make sure he didn't have anything major. The doctor had seen immediately what could have caused his injuries and wanted to call the police but Kurt had quickly come up with a lie, so at least the authorities hadn't been involved. Once they had gotten back home, he had escaped into his room with some painkillers and sedatives but he hadn't taken the pills in the end. He had been awake the whole night, thinking about Blaine and himself.
Although he wanted to avoid the topic for a while, Wes had wanted to talk to him in the morning. The Warblers must have had a meeting during the night but Wes hadn't told him too much. Kurt had to decide what he wanted to do and although he hadn't known what to do with Blaine, he had been sure that he wanted the Warblers to stay. He had become comfortable around the guys and they were a good team, he wouldn't have fired them because of Blaine. They had agreed that Blaine would take a few days off which seemed to be the perfect solution for Kurt. He had no idea what to do now and some time away from his bodyguard wouldn't hurt, that was sure.
It felt way too familiar. He had been through this once, when he had been young and foolish, when he had believed that people could change and miracles could happen. Now, years later... He wasn't that sure anymore. His thoughts were driving him crazy. Rationally, he knew what he should do. Break up with Blaine, fire him and never see him again. That would be the best for all of them. Danny would miss him for a while, maybe hate Kurt for doing this to the man but he would forget Blaine sooner or later and they could move on. On the other hand, his heart told him quite the opposite. That Blaine wasn't like this and it would't happen again. That he should forgive him and forget the whole thing, live his life and enjoy the happy moments Blaine brought into his life.
Kurt sighed, burying his face into his hands. Why was it so hard? Why couldn't somebody tell him what to do? It was the hardest decision on his life. Whatever he decided to do, it would affect at least three people's lives, and he didn't want to take the risk of ruining anything. But whatever he did, somebody would get hurt. Ah, his thoughts were driving him crazy.
"Kurt?"
No, not this, too.
"Hey, Jeremy" Kurt said quietly as he looked up at the man.
"Wow, I didn't expect you to be here" Jeremy smiled.
"Me neither" Kurt said. "Mandy is Danny's friend."
"Oh, I see" Jeremy nodded. "And I'm the godfather."
"Really?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, Mike and I are friends since high school" Jeremy explained. "Is there something wrong?"
"No. I'm perfectly fine" Kurt lied.
"Are you sure? You left yesterday without a word and now you're just sitting here all alone" Jeremy said.
"I'm tired" Kurt said. "I'm sorry I left so quickly yesterday, I... I had to take care of something."
"You're always so busy" Jeremy smiled as he grabbed a chair and sat down beside Kurt. "Speaking of business, we have a lot to discuss. I know the time isn't right but you should meet me tomorrow, so we can discuss the details of your tour."
"Tour?" Kurt asked in confusion.
"Of course!" Jeremy said. "We have to make money of your new album."
Kurt sighed again, looking away. He was so tired of everything.
"I don't think I want to go on tour this year" he admitted.
"Why not?" Jeremy frowned.
Kurt took a deep breath. He had been thinking about this for a very long time but now that he went through so many things, he really felt like he deserved that break. He was always so tired and he couldn't focus on his job anymore. Not to mention Danny grew up without him because he never had enough time for the boy.
"I can't do this anymore" Kurt admitted. "When I became famous, I took on everything that came into my way and while doing so, I somehow forgot what was really important for me. I'm barely at home, I don't have freetime at all and I never see Danny. It shouldn't be like this."
"I understand, I really do, but are you sure that's what you want? It won't be too good for your career" Jeremy said.
"I know" Kurt nodded. "But the money isn't worth it. I need a few months off, spend some quality time with Danny. I'm afraid if I don't do this, he will grow up without me. I have to be there for him, Jeremy. I'm all he has."
"Well, I think I can talk to the management to give you some time" Jeremy said. "You have to come back for the new season anyway and your album isn't going anywhere, so..."
"Thank you" Kurt said gratefully. "I really appreciate it."
"Nah, it's nothing" Jeremy said. "Take your time, go on holiday. The little guy deserves it."
Kurt looked at Danny who was playing with a few classmates.
"He does. He's a good kid" Kurt smiled. "Maybe I will take him to France this year. He always wanted to see Paris."
"That's an amazing idea" Jeremy smiled. "I know a great hotel there, if you need help with that..."
"I will manage on my own" Kurt interrupted.
Jeremy smiled again, shaking his head.
"You're a special man, you know" he said. "God, I will miss you."
"I will be back in no time. It's just about summer, Danny has to be back for the next school year anyway" Kurt said.
"But I won't" Jeremy said quietly. "That's what I wanted to tell you on the first place. I'm leaving."
"What?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, you know that my father wants to open a new office in Los Angeles" Jeremy started.
"Of course" Kurt nodded. That was all he could hear about back in the studio.
"And I'm the CEO of that department" Jeremy said sheepishly.
"Wow. That-that's amazing, Jeremy! Congratulations!" Kurt said.
"Thank you" Jeremy smiled. "I brought the tickets for your opening night but it looks like I have to leave sooner. I guess I have to get used to living without the Kurt Hummel magic."
Kurt looked down, blushing. He always became a little uncomfortable when Jeremy started talking about him like this.
"It's not for forever, right? You will still come back eventually" Kurt said.
"I hope so" Jeremy said.
"Call me when you're in the city. We can have lunch together or something" Kurt said.
"Definitely" Jeremy beamed. "Uhm... I have to go back..."
"Go. I will be fine" Kurt said.
"Goodbye, Kurt" Jeremy said as he stood up.
"Goodbye, Jeremy" Kurt said.
As the man left, Kurt sighed in relief. He didn't hate Jeremy but he knew that he was partly responsible for his misery, even if he didn't want to hurt him. Jeremy was a nice guy but he wanted more than Kurt, so there could never be real friendship between them. Kurt had said no so many times and he felt bad every single time when he saw the sadness in Jeremy's eyes. It was the best for both of them. Maybe with Jeremy gone, Blaine would turn back to normal and it would help Kurt make the right decision.
He glanced at his bodyguards and then back at Danny. Jeremy had distracted him for a few minutes but now that he was alone, his thoughts wandered back to Blaine immediately and he became sadder than before. How things would get better between them again, he had no idea. But one thing was sure, something had to happen soon because Kurt wasn't sure how much more he could bear before falling apart.